Hello I'm 17 and am being kicked out of my home as soon as I'm 18 I've been trying to prepare my self for this and have estimated 7,350 dollars in my bank account I have no credit and my parents have repeatedly told me we are cutting you off and disowning me how fucked am I? Please any advice would be extremely helpful and very very appreciated
First of all- take a second to breathe. You are in a terrible situation, but you are strong and resilient and you have $7,000 in savings. You WILL get through this! Also you have more money than both my boyfriend and I put together currently, and we rent an apartment with 2 cats. You can do it!
I have a few questions for you-
1. Do you have a job?
2. Do you want to attend a university?
3. Are you opposed to living with roommates?
4. Do you have transportation?
My Parents Are Forcing Me To Move Out- What Can I Do?
I get a lot of questions about this. Here are some steps that you can take while still living in your parents house, steps that will help you work towards getting a place of your own. Stay strong! Youāll get through this.
1. Important Documents.Ā Get as many of your important documents (social security card, birth certificate, tax forms, etc) as possible while youāre still living with your parents. You will need this information when you move out, and it may be harder for you to get these documentsĀ after youāve moved out.
2. Get a job.Ā If youāre still in school, limit yourself to a part-time job that can become a full-time job when you finish your education. You canāt save up money if you donāt have a job, and this will just force you to be dependent on your parents financially.Ā
3. Get transportation.Ā Get yourself a mode of transportation that does not rely on your parents. Biking, walking, and using public transportation are all ways that you can get where you need to be without their help. You cannot rely on any car thatās in their name (even if they call itĀ āyourā car). Iāve had multiple friends dealing with difficult parents have their cars taken away from them in an attempt to further control their lives.Ā
4. Start saving money.Ā Even if this just means saving $100 every two weeks, this is still a great start!Ā
5. Separate bank account.Ā Speaking of saving money, get yourself a bank account that your parents donāt have access to. A friend of mine tried to move out of her home and her parents literally moved all her money into their account because they had joint access. If you cannot get a separate bank account, start saving money in cash in a good hiding spot.
6. Start paying for your own devices.Ā You do not want your parents to be able to threaten to take your phone away if they donāt like the choices youāre making. You should also change any passwords on devices that your parents may know.
7. Utilize resources that get you out of the house.Ā There are lots of spaces that you can hang out after school for free, including public parks and libraries. Join clubs and volunteer your time if you canāt stand being home.
8. File as independent on your taxes.Ā Weāre a while away from tax season, but remember to file as independent on your taxes. This means that your parents can no longer claim you as a dependent and will no longer receive a tax break from the government for housing you. What it means for you, is that you will no longer be considered part of their tax bracket. This means youāll have a better chance at applying for financial aid, health insurance, car insurance, etc.
9. Involve your college.Ā If youāre looking to go to university sometime in the future but are afraid you canāt afford it, find out if your college has any programs for independent students. Many SUNY schools have what is called the EOP Program and the Independent Student Program, which will pay for your college tuition based off your independent tax status. You cannot rely entirely on FAFSA to pay for your tuition! Talk to a school counselor and find out what is offered. PS: Many of these programs are first-semester admit only, so take that into consideration.
10. Keep your housing search a secret. I hate to generalize with parenting, but if your parents are threatening to throw you out or are forcing you to move out, itās probably not a good idea to let them know that youāre going to move out. Oddly enough, two of my friends who have been in this very same situation got ready to move out of their respective homes, only to have their parents freak out. Even if your parents are saying that theyāre going to force you to move out, they may not believe that you actually can and will do it. They may try to stop you or use emotional tactics to control you and keep you home. When you do move out- do not under any circumstance tell them your address.
11. Build your support system.Ā Tell as many trustworthy people as you can what is happening, so that they can be there to support you during this time. Youāll have places to crash in if you need to, so your parentās house isnāt your only option. I would try to tell at least oneĀ āAdultā in your life- a teacher, a counselor, your employer, etc. Obviously you donāt want them talking to your parents, but they may be able to offer support and confidence.Ā
12. Decide on an apartment budget.Ā Decide what you can afford, based off of how much money youāre making. Find out if any of your friends are going to get their own place, and see if you can find a roommate. This will save you so much money and headache in the long run. If you canāt find a roommate and canāt afford an apartment, look into renting a room in a house or shared space.
13. Learn some life skills.Ā Cooking, cleaning, sewing, basic repair, car maintenance, laundry, etc are all useful skills that you will need when you move out. Start mastering them now, and youāll feel more confident when on your own.
14. Discount stores.Ā Get familiar with shopping for yourself at discount stores. While shopping at the Dollar Store may not be ideal for you, I recommend that you buy all your starter groceries and household supplies there. Off-brand items will save you $$!
15. Make plans for pets.Ā Do not leave your pets at your parentās house. If you canāt move them into your new place, find a friend who can pet sit until you find a more comfortable situation. Do not let your parents hold your pets over your head as emotional leverage!
16. Be prepared to buy new furniture.Ā Your parents may not allow you to take any furniture with you when you move. Be prepared to spend some money on things like mattresses, tables, cooking supplies, etc. Peruse local yard sales and bargain bins to see if you can scavenge any supplies. Hit up your friends and coworkers to see if they have any furniture/supplies theyāre not using. Honestly this is how I got half of the furniture in my apartment.
17. Try to keep it positive.Ā Throughout all of this, please remember that your parents do love you, even if theyāre not expressing it in a positive way. Be above toxic behavior and any emotional bullying they may throw your way, and when you do move out try to let them know that you love them and hope they will support you. They may ignore you or refuse to talk to you for some time after you move out, and this is okay. They will eventually get to the point where they miss your contact, and you should be prepared for that opportunity to start fresh. Iāve known people whose relationship with their parents has improved 100% after they move out. Some personalities are just not meant to live together. Give them the time they need to adjust, and be proud of yourself for everything youāve done!
I hope this helps!
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