blog entries

[thoughtdmp]

23/2/22

‘i alws understood ur typos just wanted to tease u’ ?!?!?!

HUH?? WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN ?-?

anyways c said that

for context I made some silly typos because if yk me and talk to me online I make ALOT of typos I just correct them here before I post and I made some typo and n didn’t understand what I meant so c corrected it for me. and I was like shooked and said ‘omg c I’m so proud you finally understand my typos!’

And he said that.

confused

[thoughtdmp]

21/2/22

HELP I GOT COVID ?!

lowkey have mixed feelings about it HAHA

fr starting of this hectic year with a bang~~

once i take panadol and it kicks in i’m pretty much fine it’s like the second jab all over again except my fever + headache keeps coming back ;-; and rn i got a permanent body ache

[thoughtdmp]

18/2/22

i passed emath lmao 🤯🤯🤯

thought i failed so i didn’t even bother checking if i failed or not because i didn’t want to ruin my good mood ykyk. anyways my math teacher had this colour coding thing going on. so basically

red = c6-f9 (basically just pass to fail)

pink = c5-a2 (55-74)

black = A1> (75 and above)

gold = 100%

so i thought I was going to get red since i deadass got red the whole year— my em never went above a 50 which is quite depressing because it’s literally always careless mistakes that make me fail or score a 50 and on multiple occasions have made me question how stupid i actually am

my friend told me i got a pink but i didn’t believe her since i thought i was failing and i was super sad about amath. but hey i passed! i got a B which is deadass an achievement lmao~~

normally i would be rejoicing but i didn’t feel anything again ?___? maybe it’s because I’m still upset about amath but whatever. I think my friend thought I did quite bad (she sits behind me) since I was so quiet lmao i think she’s happier for me than I am…

[thoughtdmp]

17/2/22

:0 haven’t been blogging recently i do apologise :(

oh gosh i am so damn exhausted, probably because i had 5h30mins of sleep since i procrastinated— i texted v for q a while yesterday and someone even asked if we were irls (we chatted in a discord channel)

dude is laughing at me half the time i swear am I even that funny >:(

ok MOVING ON!!!

today was honestly so terrible lmao.

i got back my amath quiz score and i’m so damn disappointed i’m quite sure i didn’t fool my teacher. i saw my mark and went like oh….! like i tried to put some excitement into my voice yk but it wasn’t there but i think i managed to fool the rest of my class.

it’s the first time i ever passed an amath related test though— so it’s an achievement in its own right. i would have been jumping for joy but i thought i could get low 20s. (i got 16/30.)

i really thought I could get b3 at least.

it’s the first time i ever had confidence and could do an amath paper i was so happy but when i saw my results my heart dropped. typing this rn makes me want to cry..

i mean i knew i minus quite a number of marks since my trigonometry is absolute trash and like i didn’t complete this question but i was q confident is the rest of the questions but i suppose not. anyways i wouldn’t be surprise if it’s careless mistakes again. that’s what always happens to me. i can check but somehow never see them i don’t even know anymore.

im honestly just so exhausted i just want to sleep. the rest of the events aren’t so significant it’s just small things that i got upset and beat myself over it i suppose but it’s normal to have bad days i guess.

that’s it for now i’m so tired.

so so tired.

[thoughtdmp]

16/2/22

my juniors joined cca today and one of them is so spoiled i’m totally questioning how she was brought up. i know it sounds abit mean but if literally so many people have issues with you, even your own classmates don’t like you (that’s what people told me got those sources ykyk) then you are obviously the issue here.

anyways she had the audacity to shout at my friend, and she’s the type of people to blame other people instead of herself— she did it to another of her batchmate. i sincerely and genuinely hope she fixes her terrible attitude soon because at the rate she’s going, if she’s going to blame every single one of her partners (she did it in trial too) no one will want to partner her. and it’ll be really sad to go cca and not be close with your batch mates.

also she said she wants to be captain during trials LMAO…

with that attitude….

juniors nowadays are really getting worse every year.

deadass my teacher told the new juniors to stop being smart alecs and listen to the seniors (our) instructions.

[thoughtdmp]

14/2/22

ITS VALENTINES EVERYDAY. to all the singles this wish is for you HAHA.

today was quite tiring not gonna lie, i have absolutely 0 clue why I’m so tired maybe because of cca? i tried studying for history but barely anything went in so i’m going to sleep!!

ALSO MY FRIEND BAKED ME FOOD 😭🤍

and the pickup line she wrote on the note is so cute;

am i a bad shooter? because i keep on missing you…

SO CUTE RIGHT

[thoughtdmp]

13/2/22

tuition was super fun today my teacher was so funny i laughed so much…

weekends nearly over and i have so much hw it’s not funny anymore but i kinda just gave up 👍🏻 also v (one of the singaporeans from discord) sponsored me tier 3 (along with two others I think) for that discord channel —> basically gave us nickname permissions + picture permissions. and he paid in game currency equivalent to almost $4 irl I AM SO TOUCHED.

[thoughtdmp]

i don’t remember the date.

but my tuition teacher lowkey shipped me with another guy in the class. like he was giving an example and decided to use me in the example. he was like ‘ (my name) if given a choice, would you date this year?’

and I was like ‘no.’ immediately.

basically he was teaching answering techniques and he added that you can address their concerns, so he was like ‘why not?’

And I was like ‘i don’t have time this year…’

so he was like ‘what about ______’

basically he named some guy in the class.

he was like, ‘you can study together as a couple! then when couples study together you can motivate each other’ something along those lines.

I WAS SO EMBARASSED

EVERYONE. STARED.

the girl at the other end of the table literally turned 90 degrees and stared at me.

YES I AM SO EMBARASSED

ima jump into a hole rn!! bye!

[thoughtdmp]

19/1

HE SAW ME.

C SAW ME?

yes I’m panicking again.

i didn’t go for cca today because i was having a bad stomachache but i was in a mall takingaway stuffd with my dad.

I KNEW THAT THERE WAS A CHANCE THAT HE’D BE THERE SINCE HIS SCHOOL IS NEARBY AND IT WOULD BE AROUND THE TIME HE ENDS CCA -

gosh i knew i should have sent the picture of the ajituma ramen shop (i took a pic while walking) or whatever once i left the damn mall.

i sent when i was a distance away from the shop and he was like ‘ wtf you’re here too? ‘

TURNS OUT WE WERE ON THE SAME LEVEL AND HE WAS NEARBY STUFFD.

++ I happened to be wearing my cca school t-shirt so he was like i saw ‘this <my sch name> girl’

anyways i chickened out and only managed to ask ‘who?’

but he dropped it so i think everything’s all good.

but I’m still freaking out…

edited: i kinda want to ask how much he saw— like just a glance ??

i told j about it too and her first reaction was like ‘did he call u cute???’ istg it’s so her fr

[thoughtdmp]

17/1

I ACCIDENTALLY REVEALED MY SCHOOL

I was writing a last minute personal reflective paragraph and I sent it to n to ask for constructive feedback and guess who forgot to censor her school? ME.

IM PANICKING.

[thoughtdmp]

2/1/22

n found out my name…

she googled it 😭😭😭

idk how to feel about her knowing but i’m sure she won’t reveal it.

[thoughtdmp]

25/12/21

messed up the timeline abit since i forgot to write down this entry.

christmas!! haven’t played in ages. (my dad blocked the game on the wifi but i still could text on discord/Instagram but later on he ended up blocking everything, including WhatsApp.)

anyways, the guild had a secret santa event! my sibling was the one who suggested it even though he wasn’t in the guild (we weren’t a competitive guild and he wanted to be in one..) & my siblings was the one who hosted it. my secret santa was c, which meant that i had to buy something for him. luckily, i managed to buy it on the 23rd. I went cycling with my family— we went to see the changi dinos!! the cafe we were at had free wifi so i managed to buy the item on his wishlist with my remaining screentime.

we managed to get e to log on again, and we passed him the world we made for him ++ all of our notes to him. sadly i missed his reaction because i had to open presents irl, but i was quite happy with the gifts I got! i got a fancy sort-of wineglass? (don’t worry i don’t drink, im still underage but i like using all those fancy glasses)

i also got this wax-stamp set — it was so fun to play with!

back to e, apparently he cried when he read all of ours notes 😭😭

he has such a good heart honestly, he’s one of the most compassionate and most helpful people I’ve met in that game. Isn’t it rare to find someone who would drop whatever they’re doing almost immediately to help someone else out?

christmas was so fun, and i’m super glad i got to spend it with both my love ones as well as my new group of friends.

[thoughtdmp]

27/12/21

went out with my friends today! it’s been such a hectic year we didn’t have time to go out. it was so fun but Really tiring too. we literally went to the whole Singapore just to hunt for a starbucks, which we still didn’t manage to get in the end 😭😭

my feet are exhausted but it was still a fun time!

[thoughtdmp]

19/12/21-27/12/21

feel like i’m going insane. it’s bad i know to be so reliant on social media and everything. but a whole week. without wifi. mind you, i don’t have data. the only time i could communicate was at malls with free wifi. i mean i know that it’s for my own good, my dad’s method to force me to finish all my homework but i am so angry. i hate that I cant do anything or talk to anyone. i miss everyone. n,c,j,a,r… everyone in general.

it feels so suffocating.

[thoughtdmp]

since n worked during the day (she’s 17 fyi, and she was waiting for her results) so we mainly chatted at nice in our group chat. before meeting them the latest I’ve ever slept was like 2am but sometimes we would chat until 3am and once even 4am in the morning….

[thoughtdmp]

also usually whenever we logged in and we saw each other we’ll always greet each other & n ofc in caps (ig express enthusiasm HAHA)

and sometimes I’ll be like ‘did u miss meeee’

and there was this occasion i remember him saying something like ‘yes i missed u alot’

i don’t really remember if he ever said that again though. because sometimes it would just be a yes or sometimes he just totally ignores it or goes like maybe.

thoughts?

[thoughtdmp]

anyways t went like ‘you know he likes u? he told me’

i was pretty shocked because i really didn’t expect it. whenever i saw him talking with c he always seemed quite carefree so i initially thought he was joking so i was quick to shut that thought down. but he insisted again, and told me not to tell c that he told me that. he sounded so serious so i really wasn’t sure whether to believe him or not. but the conversation pretty much ended there because c entered.

fast forward a few hours, i had mentioned in the group chat that i was buying a certain item, let’s call it PT. at the rate of 4x. and i asked them to help me buy if they saw someone selling it at that rate & i’ll pay them later. shortly after, c messaged me to tell me he had it, and he bargained with his friend to sell it to him at that rate…

[these incidents happened later in december] c has a senior who plays the game sometimes, i shall call him w. it was quite late, maybe 1am? i warped to c and found him talking to w and another guy and i told c he should sleep because It’s quite late. and his senior asked if i was his gf. i don’t remember if i was the one who denied or if it was both of us though.

but over the next few times i was with c and w was here he would always jokingly say that he is sorry for ‘Third-wheeling’ but c didn’t exactly say anything after that as well so i’m not sure what to think.

[cont in next blog!]

what do y’all think?