Hyperfixating all the way

Call me Mel | Just a sideblog to be insane about Absolute Regression (and writing in general) ^^

[lifesucksbutihaveart]

The face Mugeuk makes when he's scheming something:

Our little Mugeuk-ah<33

[lifesucksbutihaveart]

More art of Mugeuk, I plan to post more later

Reference image:

Sketch and art:

[haitanq]

my favorite buddys movie saga... never gets old

[lifesucksbutihaveart]

More art of Geom Muguek because we are so deprived 😭🙏

Reference pic

My redraw/fanart +speedpaint

[lifesucksbutihaveart]

I love this story to death. It is a CRIME that not many people know about it. It's so good 😭😭🙏🙏

Imported one of the sketches to ibispaint so I could color it too 💕💕 (Geom Muguek, my beloved ❤️)

[thoughtfully-turtle]

One of the most unique aspects of Mugeuk's personality is really how understanding he is. And not just of others, but at first of himself.

Now if we put aside the angst for this, or the fact that he really really undermines how harrowingly lonely he is, there's this part of him that understands his own faults, and his own feelings. he rests when he's tired. he acknowledges that he skips it if something else demands his attention. he realises that revenge is something that'll always occupy a part of his mind, and that he loses sleep over it often. he understands. he reassures himself it's alright.

Mugeuk lives the life he's leading now due to the many lives he had seen during his wandering past, but i think, rather than those people helping him understand how people are, it made him understand how he was—at his best, and at his most vulnerable.

i truly believe that the reason he can understand others so well is because he understands himself first. He knows what he feels about a particular topic, he knows what could have led to that, he knows how proceeding further could make him feel. He's so ridiculously self-aware that it's both a flaw and genuinely one of the best aspects of his personality.

and that is also why i think he doesn't dwell on his past much (or why there isn't much angst in the novel for his part). Mugeuk understands to some extent that he can't change his past, or the way it shaped him, so his conclusion is to not dwell on it.

It's such a unique difference from how mcs usually are, either avoidant or oblivious, but at the same time, it's not exactly an asset either. I mean, just how many times have we seen someone else mention that he looks lonely? Or tired? And how he's almost surprised at that, as if aware of it all along, yet still ignoring the same? How tiring must it be to understand what he feels, yet not have any time or support to help himself for it?

There was this part in the manhwa:

It's not explained in detail here, but in the novel, what he thought was,

'Father, it's okay if i look for it. Not a moment passes without Hwa Moogi in my mind. I can't sleep even when I lie down. I often jump up and run to the training grounds, haunted by visions of being killed by Hwa Moogi again.'

And like. mind you that was actually the first time in the novel that Mugeuk mentioned struggling alone so clearly. and of course, he had been aware of it all along.

The thing is, the realisation that he's aware and just accepting of it makes it a lot more sad. Idk how else to put it. It's not at all an exaggeration to say that he's lonely, because man. having such a past while being so honestly self aware sounds like a nightmare. It only seems so mild because that is how he puts it, that is how he wants it to be.

But also it's kind of funny how consistent he has been with how caring he is of others, friends and strangers alike, but has only come to understand himself better, in a much more softer and gentler manner. And honestly, I'll always love him for treating himself like that, exactly like he deserves to be.

[sugar-petals]

saw someone say they feel bad and awkward ‘contributing nothing’ to fandom (“no fics, no drawings, no theories, just gluttony”) and to anyone who feels inferiority over this i gotta say us creators doing things for free love nothing more than your unbridled spiralling greed in our notifications aka genuinely be more unapologetically gluttonous 24/7 there is nothing wrong with enjoying something insatiably because us creators feel empty and despairing without a passionate audience and feral surroundings so please and thank you and we love you

[thoughtfully-turtle]

Obsessed OBSESSED with the fact that the most prominent change Mugeuk brought to his attitude was that he just started being honest. to himself. to everyone else. he started being honest and understanding and compassionate and just, kinder.

Like there's a million other ideas he could've picked up, so much he could've changed after returning to the past. he could've focused only on his strength and suppressed everyone he considered to be enemies with just that. he could've won against his brother much much easily if he wanted to. he could've avoided so much if he simply decided to not care.

but no. he returns and he goes on a hunt with the man he had never looked in the eye before. he looks and looks and looks into the warm gaze of the one who had lost her life for him once. he spends time over meals and drinks and thinks and smiles. he goes to a random tavern owner and decides to make him one of his people. he argues and banters and smiles and laughs with the man he considered an enemy before. he tries and tires and lets himself rest, and he tries again.

and he watches his father. and he keeps watching his father.

There's a million other ways Mugeuk could've turned out to be but he really just decided that he'll choose kindness. He'll choose love. And he'll keep choosing love over and over again.

[thoughtfully-turtle]

Mugeuk tries something new for a change (threat level increases drastically)

[thoughtfully-turtle]

One thing that bothers me a lot is that Mugeuk never actively mentioned any intention to talk about his regression (iirc it's not mentioned even till the latest ch. 794). It makes sense if you see that he's so busy there's barely any time for such a topic, or the fact that regression itself is such an absurd concept that he would be lucky if he's not just deemed insane and ignored.

But like, it wasn't mentioned once, not even in passing. That made me think that maybe he really doesn't have any intention to reveal his past, at least not until Moogi is dealt with. Or maybe never at all.

And beside all the logical reasoning and everything, i like to think that it's merely another way for him to bury his past. To not forget about it, but to never bring it up either. I think Mugeuk genuinely undermines how affected he is by the life he has lived. Sometimes, the way he checks on everyone and jokes with them, the way he assures them and cheers them up—it almost seems desperate. Given that he knows he had wasted such precious time before, it's understandable, but just a few rare times, he seems so rushed. Like he's afraid he'll turn around and everything will disappear.

I think that's also part of why he liked creating his own space so much—he truly was free of everything chasing after him there. It's not just his past haunting him, but the present dangers always ready to harm his people. To be free of such burdens and fear, it makes me wonder how he can even get himself to walk out of that space ever.

Anw, back to the topic, i do wish he is able to talk about his past to at least one person, maybe not Woojin, maybe someone like Elder or Soma. I think he would genuinely feel so much freer afterwards, and maybe, just maybe, be less lonelier than before.

[thoughtfully-turtle]

Absr textposts my beloved :3 (i take back what i said about liking Mugeuk's depressed looks. Why was finding a smiling face of his so difficult to find. Why.)

[thoughtfully-turtle]

This is why i love the absr manhwa so much look at this.

No words can show the absolute hysteria the artist expressed in these panels. Which is to say that i canNOT STOP LAUGHING PLEASE WHY IS OUR POOR ELDER ALWAYS SUFFERING 😭🙏

And not to forget the legendary 'is that a new protective armor?' scene

(PLEASE PLEASE LOOK AT MUGEUK'S EYES HE LOOKS SO DEAD I CAN'T BREATHE)

Another thing i (ironically) love is that Mugeuk is drawn depressed half of the time lol. Like yeah it's not novel accurate, doesn't show his silly cat persona more, but do i like it? ABSOLUTELY. im ALWAYS waiting for angsty/depressed looking mugeuk be it canon accurate or not. like how a normal fan should be. :)

[thoughtfully-turtle]

Honestly at this point of the novel this isn't even something heartwarming its just straight up ridiculous IM ABSOLUTELY HOLLERING-

Literally this same guy was enthralled with just a stroll with his father?? Every time he did something new he mentioned it so eagerly like 'My first go match with father since regression!' 'My first supper with him in both lives!' 'My first allowance to my father :3' Like bro is NOT nonchalant at all his first reflex when he's stuck anywhere is literally thinking of his father?? And missing him any time he's away from the Cult???

Mugeuk my guy who do you think you were fooling back then 😭🙏

[thoughtfully-turtle]

Sometimes i think about Mugeuk's past. And i end up thinking a lot. And that brought me to wondering, did Mugeuk ever hate himself in the past? Honestly the answer is too obvious. He did, and a lot. Even in the way he now recalls his past there are traces of a deep-rooted guilt which comes with the acknowledgement that his fate was his own and he couldn't see past that. There are traces of a self-deprecating sigh in the way he remembers his simplest mistakes, like the way a parent looks at you and you can tell that they are disappointed, except it's something you see for the first time so you can only smile nervously. I think that's how he views his past at times. Like a parent, incredulous that you couldn't do something so simple, understanding still, regretful nonetheless.

But that's how he is after years of wandering and thinking and thinking again. I wonder, at exactly what point in his life did he understand that there was no person in his life who could know him better than himself, absolutely no one? And tbh that's a devastating realisation on its own, but then you add the tragedy he went through and the utter bewilderment he must have faced searching for answers all alone.

I also wonder if that realisation came before the idea of regression was set in his mind. It makes sense it would be after that, considering he met Seo Jin at a time he had almost killed himself, but like. The impact completely changes now. Acknowledging that he's alone was only a sort of closure before, but now it would be a reality. Mugeuk had lived only considering the future where he'll regress, and hoping of that, he must've understood that he truly would be 'alone' after it succeeds. What did he feel then, when offered a new beginning, with no support to grab on?

I wonder if his hatred towards himself didn't fade, but rather dimmed into a hollow resignation, one that was more of a 'let's start over' than 'i give up'. I wonder if he recalls those times now with a wry smile, watching himself live the future that he had both yearned for yet feared.

I wonder if he realises how far he has come (he does) and how proud he should be of himself now (he is).

[haitanq]

absolute regression?????? anyone??? pls??????? does this fandom even exist...

[thoughtfully-turtle]

Something something Mugeuk becoming so much kinder and gentler and thoughtful in his words over the time. How he waits now to listen to trivial comments, doesn't snap back immediately when he's annoyed, only shrugs and laughs when something out of his control happens. How he pauses to observe the beautiful terrains, and as always, the sky. The way he deliberately takes out time to chat idly, an idea that would've never even crossed his mind before regression. How he has come to acknowledge his own mistakes in judging others, while also acknowledging the fact that he's the change that brought change to their lives.

Something about him not considering every single person in his life as enemies anymore. Something about him realising that he's loved, and that he can love back so so much more.