mk's corner

[thoughtsofmk]

We are so concerned with aging and everything that follows. The wrinkles, our bodies changing, our health declining. We are so concerned with hiding the very thing that shows we have lived, survived, and carried ourselves this far. A reminder that not everyone is blessed with the privilege to have lived and have wrinkles to show for it.

We fear aging and search for ways to mask it, as if any of us were promised to live that long.

-mk

[thoughtsofmk]

We grow up surrounded by expectations dressed up as normalcy, and obligations disguised as choices. We somehow quietly oblige, without noticing.

The very minute I turned 20, a clock appeared. Visible to me, but to no one else. Every tick was louder than the one before. Constant ticking, unforgiving for the ticks I’ve wasted on anything other than fulfilling my obligations. Every tick that passed was a tick I could never take back. I was always behind, out of step.

Time was suddenly limited. I am 20, and now I have 10 years to build a life from scratch. Ten years to become everything I was obligated to be. Educated. Married. Financially stable. Settled. Kids. As if by 30, I need to have it all figured out.

Childhood passes by like a bullet train, fast and unstoppable. You don’t remember much of the ride, only that you were on it and that you lived it. And the rest of life? That depends on which train you decide to board.

I don’t want to take the fastest one to my destination. I want the one with windows wide open, where the world doesn’t blur past me. The one that moves just slow enough for me to notice all the details, to take in the scenery, to feel things fully, the warmth of the sun, the cold of winter, to feel all the seasons and colors melt into my skin, forming a wrinkle for every moment lived. I want to stay a little longer in the moments that matter.

So why, at only 20, do I feel like I’m rushing down a path that’s not even paved for me? A path that leads me away from my destination? Why do I feel this constant pressure to serve a life that does not belong to me?

-mk

[thoughtsofmk]

I had never known what it meant to live or exist until you showed me the difference. With you, life found its colours, and I learned that life is meant to be felt, not endured.

-mk

[thoughtsofmk]

You might not find meaning in your suffering; perhaps no meaning exists at all. Still, one truth remains: your perseverance will not go unrewarded.

-mk

[thoughtsofmk]

I thought the void in my heart would never close, that I’d be trapped in the memories of what could have been, questioning why it never was. No matter how much time passed, the emotions and recollections remained vivid.

-mk

[thoughtsofmk]

life comes in seasons. In some, you bloom; in some, you lose your leaves, but you will bloom again.

-mk