3... 2... 1... Oops!

Trying to get my  premature ejaculation fetish rocks off in accordance with Tumblr's new policies.

[threetwooneoops]

Whoops!

Because I’m a Tumblr idiot I’ve accidentally made this my secondary blog instead of my primary blog or something, I don’t know. The short version of the long story is that this blog will be ebbing away into nothing, and all the posts will be transferred (and new content produced on) this blog: https://three-two-one-oops.tumblr.com/

[threetwooneoops]

“So you’re saying if I keep pulling this zipper down you’re going to spurt all your cum into your pants…”

*twitch*

“Hnn… Yes…”

*twitch*

“Even if I pull it down just a little bit like this..?”

*twitch twitch* “Hmmf… Ugh… Yes…”

*twitch TWITCH*

“I can’t even pull it down half-way, like this, without making your cock twitch and leak?”

*twitch throb twitch*

“Unnnnf… Please… Please stop…”

*throb throb throb*

“Surely I can go a little further? You can’t even see my nipples yet, the sight of my breasts bursting out of my top can’t be enough to make you prematurely explode in your pants, can it?”

*throb throb THROB*

“I can’t… I can’t…”

*THROB THROB THROB*

“Aw come on baby, I’ve almost got it all the way down. Hold on for just a few more seconds… You can do it…”

*ziiiiiiiip*

*THROB THROB THROB*

“Don’t you want to see them? Don’t you want to see my amazing titties? All you have to do is hold it… Hold it… Hold it…..”

*spurt*

“Ahhh fuuuuuuckkk…!”

*spurt SPURT SPURT*

“Oh no!”

*SPURT spurt spurt*

“Noooooo…”

*spurt dribble dribble*

“Oh look! You’ve soaked through your pants! Look at that massive wet spot hahaha! Oh dear, well I guess you didn’t really want to see my titties after all. And I almost had them all the way out… Too bad… Guess I’ll just put them away, there’s no way you’ll be good to go again tonight, not after a load that big…”

*ziiiiiiip*

[threetwooneoops]

“So you’re saying if I keep pulling this zipper down you’re going to spurt all your cum into your pants...”

*twitch*

“Hnn... Yes...”

*twitch*

“Even if I pull it down just a little bit like this..?”

*twitch twitch* “Hmmf... Ugh... Yes...”

*twitch TWITCH*

“I can’t even pull it down half-way, like this, without making your cock twitch and leak?”

*twitch throb twitch*

“Unnnnf... Please... Please stop...”

*throb throb throb*

“Surely I can go a little further? You can’t even see my nipples yet, the sight of my breasts bursting out of my top can’t be enough to make you prematurely explode in your pants, can it?”

*throb throb THROB*

“I can’t... I can’t...”

*THROB THROB THROB*

“Aw come on baby, I’ve almost got it all the way down. Hold on for just a few more seconds... You can do it...”

*ziiiiiiiip*

*THROB THROB THROB*

“Don’t you want to see them? Don’t you want to see my amazing titties? All you have to do is hold it... Hold it... Hold it.....”

*spurt*

“Ahhh fuuuuuuckkk...!”

*spurt SPURT SPURT*

“Oh no!”

*SPURT spurt spurt*

“Noooooo...”

*spurt dribble dribble*

“Oh look! You’ve soaked through your pants! Look at that massive wet spot hahaha! Oh dear, well I guess you didn’t really want to see my titties after all. And I almost had them all the way out... Too bad... Guess I’ll just put them away, there’s no way you’ll be good to go again tonight, not after a load that big...”

*ziiiiiiip*

[threetwooneoops]

“So all I have to do is stroke my cock once, for each step I take towards you, and then you’ll finally let me fuck you?”

“That’s right...” She smiled.

“That seems too easy...” He appraised the distance between them, “It’s what, ten paces?”

“The longest ten paces of your life...” She leaned forward, her enormous breasts swaying in her top. Her eyes flickered down to his cock, “Shall we begin?”

He was already hard, but this should be a piece of cake. Tabby had been in his ear since their first date about her ‘magical tits’ - “Oh Ricky, they make guys cum so fast...” “Oh Ricky, no one ever lasts...” “Oh Ricky, I haven’t had a good lay in so long...” Well shit, bitch... He could have remedied that last complaint on date number one, but she insisted on giving him time to ‘acclimate’ or whatever. 

“Ready?” She reached up and groped herself through her top, pressing her soft breasts up against the fabric of her jumpsuit. He wrapped his hand around the base of his cock... Oh yeah, he was ready.

He took a step towards her, and slid his hand up and down his cock. He groaned gently at the pleasure, and had to stop himself from stroking again. Fuck, it had been a while...

“That’s one. Nine left.” She licked her lips and winked at him. His took another step, and then another, stroking his cock each time. By the time he reached the half-way mark, his cock was twitching and slick with precum. He felt sweat break out on his forehead, and he seemed to be struggling to catch his breath. Her words throbbed through his head in time with the throbbing in his dick: No man can last... Cum so fast... Magic titties...

“Are you okay?” Tabby asked, mock-sweetly, as she began to bounce her breasts in her top, making them jump as if she was titfucking the air, “You look a little... Vexed...”

“No... No... I’m fine...” He sounded desperate, even to himself. He took another step, and froze. The pleasure was intense, his cock throbbing, precum leaking out of his shaft... He was going to... Going to...

“Come on Ricky baby... Only three more steps.”

He staggered forward one step, his hand gliding up his shaft, Tabatha’s tits filling his whole vision... And then he ran his hand back down to the base of his cock. He felt another twitch, and another. It felt too good. He was losing it! He quickly took another step, ignoring the one stroke rule, taking his hands off his cock completely, but it was too late. With a long groan, half-pleasure, half-anguished disappointment, he lost his load all over the floorboards, shooting his cum in long, thick streams without even touching his cock.

“Oh no!” Tabby pouted, “I thought you’d make it. I thought you would finally be the guy to give me what I needed!”

He tried to protest, but all he managed was a faint ‘Nnnuuugh’ as he sank to the floor, his legs giving out on him as his tired muscles gave way. Tabatha got up off chair and covered the remaining step to him. “I guess it’s only fair that I help myself to some of your stuff... Your wallet, your BMW, the rolex on your nightstand...” 

“Waah? Nnooo...” He slurred, struggling to get to his feet. She... She was going to rob him?!

She bent over and kissed him on the forehead as he half-rose, giving him a long look deep into her cleavage. With a panicked moan he shot another load onto the floorboards, and then keeled over, unconscious before his head hit the floor.

Tabatha sighed, another dumb man knocked unconscious by his dumb cock, “I warned you Rick... My tits are magic.”

[threetwooneoops]

You finally convinced Kristy to go out with you, mostly by impressing her with the suggestion that you owned a boat. I mean, sure, it’s just a little tinny, and technically it belongs to your uncle, but still, a boat’s a boat. The weather was unseasonably warm, but even so you were more than a little surprised when Kristy turned up in a skimpy red bikini.

“Ready to go?” She asked sweetly.

“Uh, yeah...” You replied, feeling ready to go in more ways than she realised. The sight of her massive, soft breasts barely contained by that little top sent the blood surging to your cock. It sprang to life in seconds, and only a quick turn to the boat kept Kristy from noticing the bulge in your trunks. You climbed aboard, and stretched out your hand to help her in. As her fingers brushed yours, you felt a little electric thrill run through you, setting your stomach fluttering and your cock twitching.

“I thought we’d just cruise up the river to this little dockside bar,” You say, just managing to avoid leering down her top. You search through your backpack for the pair of mirror-shades you know are in there somewhere, glancing up to try and make occasional eye-contact with her.

“Sounds good,” She smiled and looked around at the scenery, “You know, I’ve always really enjoyed boating, and...” She kept talking, but her words disappeared into the dull roar of blood in your ears. With the mirror-shades firmly on, you were availing yourself to a more detailed look at the boobs you had been dreaming about for months. Large, soft. perfectly formed... You were lost in the depths of her cleavage, aware only of the incredible sight of her enormous breasts, and the aching hardness of your cock straining against the fabric of your shorts.

“...So lets get going!” She flounced back onto her bench, her breasts bouncing and wobbling as she did so. You groan and fold over, doubled-in-two by the sudden surge of pleasure in your cock, afraid that you were going to go over the edge and explode in your pants right there. You manage to pull yourself back from a huge orgasm, feeling the precum leaking out of your cock as you slowly return to a sitting position, every fractional rub of the fabric of your trunks sending another tremor through you. Kristy has a concerned look on her face: “Are you okay?” She asks.

“Y-yeah...” You manage, “Just... A little seasick, I think...”

“Seasick!” She laughs, but only teasingly, “We haven’t even left the pier yet!”

“I know, it’s terrible. I just need to...” You reach into your backpack, and mime taking something, making a show of swallowing. “There, I’ll be okay now.”

“Good, I’d hate for our little outing to be over before it really began...” She smiled coyly at him, “Let’s get going.”

As you busied yourself preparing the boat to cast-off, you used the distraction to calm yourself down. It works... At least, it was working, until Kristy leaned back in her part of the boat and began applying suncream to her neck and chest. You feel your erection start to swell again. With a final kick you push the boat away, and start off down the river at a nice, gentle pace. The outboard is old, and your uncle has warned you time and again against pushing it. You exchange smalltalk for a while: siblings, sports, gossip from work. The whole time you struggle - and fail - to keep your eyes off Kristy’s breasts as they gently bounce and jiggle with the movements of the boat. After a while you lapse into an almost comfortable silence.

“Hey,” Kristy says after a few minutes, and you jump, snapped out of your breast-induced reverie; had she finally noticed... “How fast can this thing go?”

“Uh, pretty fast, I think...” You struggle to remember, shifting in your seat to try and relieve the pressure on your stiff cock. It was trapped up against the waistband, every movement running the head of your penis against the ribbed fabric of the swimwear, sending waves of ecstasy through your groin.

“Let’s take it up a notch. I want to feel the wind...” She grins at you and clicks her fingers, the motion causing her breasts to jiggle even harder. You swallow and nod, your cock in agony. As you increase the throttle and the boat speeds up, it starts to hit the small waves harder, with each hit your cock is forced harder against the fabric of your shorts, and Kristy’s breasts jump a little more in her small red bikini.

You push the throttle a little harder. Kristy has thrown her head back, letting the breeze wash through her scalp, her chest pushed out towards you. Your cock is pressed even harder, the rubbing has become semi-regular, and you feel it start to twitch even between the waves. Her glorious boobs are in a constant state of motion, bouncing in her top, jiggling seductively... Luckily this part of the river is clear, because you can’t take your eyes off them. 

The faster you go, the more her breasts leap in her bikini top, and the better your cock feels. You push the throttle harder. It feels so good. She’s so sexy. You push it harder, go faster, feeling better, her tits bouncing more and more and more...

Then it all happens at once. You hit an especially hard wave, and the force causes the boat to leap out of the water for a moment... The millisecond of freefall is enough to cause Kristy’s bikini to fall away, exposing her boobs to the wind. That second burns into your consciousness, every detail perfectly clear, bypassing your brain and going straight to your cock: The soft contours of her breasts, the pert pink nipples hardened by the cold wind and the excitement of the ride, everything looking so good, so fuckable...

Then the boat hits the water again, and your cock is forced into a few seconds of constant contact with your ribbed waistband. The pleasure crests and almost pushes you over the edge. You clench your thighs and try to hold it, and succeed for a second, for a second... Kristy claps her hands over her breasts, and tries to fondle them back into her top, her hands having trouble finding traction on the soft, supple skin made slick by water and suncream. You’re clenching everything, you can’t... you won’t...

“Shiiiiiiii-...”

You lose it. Cum shoots out of your cock and fills your trunks, soaking through them in seconds. The force of the orgasm both doubles you over and forces your legs out, and you can’t stop your hips from thrusting as you dry-hump your own shorts, your aching cock hungry for more sensation. Trying to delay it only heightened the sensation, and you’re cumming more than you can ever remember. You grab your dick through your shorts to try and stop it, only to see a creamy glob of your own semen push its way through the crotch of your trunks, immediately followed by another as your dick keeps pumping your pants full of cum. You glance at Kristy, her tits once again hidden in her top, hoping, somehow, that she hasn’t noticed... But her face is aghast.

Then the old outboard cuts out, stranding the two of you in the middle of the river. You turn and try to kick it over again, your face is burning, your cock rapidly shrinking in your sticky trunks, too ashamed to face Kristy, but the outboard has had it... It won’t turn over... Eventually, you turn to face her, humiliatingly aware of the massive stain on the front of your shorts. You’ll have to swim for shore. This date is definitely over...

“So...” She smiles, her tone caught somewhere between teasing and mocking, “Does everything you own give out prematurely, or..?”

[threetwooneoops]

Thanks for getting me the beer, tiger! Hmm the ringpull is a bit stiff. Let me just... Ugh, it’s so hard... I just need to work my fingers around it and give... it... a tug... Whoops! Everywhere!

I bet that feels familiar, doesn’t it?

[threetwooneoops]

“Hey, buy a girl a drink first!”

He blinked rapidly, cringing internally with embarrassment. He had come to the hotel bar to try and forget women for a little while. But alcohol, distraction, and a magnificent pair of breasts on display were a deadly combination. He tried to smile charmingly, but only managed the grimace of a boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Uh, sorry.” He added.

“Can’t be helped.” She shrugged, and her whole chest heaved with the movement. His eyes were drawn straight back down to them, and he was briefly occupied trying not to imagine how it would feel to be titfucked by a women endowed like that, and failing. His cock sprang to attention. She clicked her fingers, bringing his attention back to her face, “Okay, now you definitely owe me a drink.”

“I guess that’s fair.” He signaled the bartender, and nodded at her when she arrived, “Whatever she wants.”

Without taking her eyes off him, or turning her enormous breasts away, the woman said: “Climax.”

He staggered, almost fulfilling her request on the spot, but the bartender nodded and starting pulling bottles off the shelf. As the serving girl busied herself making the drink, the woman looked pointedly at the empty seat behind him, “So, alone tonight?”

“Yeah,” His mood soured immediately. After several weeks of did-she/didn’t-she, he had finally confirmed that Jennifer, his latest girlfriend, and latest ex-girlfriend, had been seeing another guy behind his back. When he confronted her, she had blamed him:

“You just can’t hold your cum, Johnnie.” She had said, all traces of conciliation absent from her tone, “I wanted to be with you, but you just aren’t built to be with me...”

He downed the last dregs of his whisky, and started on the half-pint of beer. The bartender delivered the lady’s drink, and he begrudgingly paid for it, less enamored with her now that he had remembered his pogrom against the fairer sex.

“Sore subject?” She nudged him slightly, and he felt her supple breast brush against his arm. Despite his best effort, his cock began to throb, and his hind-brain turned him back towards the woman. The heart, and parts beyond, want what they want... “If you’re drinking like that, then you’re drinking to forget a woman.” She added.

“More or less.” Her breasts seemed to exert their own gravity, his eyes kept drooping back to them, and his cock was getting harder and harder.

“Tell me about it.” She said softly, leaning in to make herself heard over the general din of the bar, and giving him a spectacular view. He swallowed, and found himself telling her everything before he realised he was doing it, his tired, drunk mind too overcome by the sight of her boobs to think up a convincingly lie on the spot. She listened sympathetically, nodding, and then rubbing his arm as he mentioned his last conversation with Jennifer. By this point he was lost in her cleavage, no longer thinking about his words, just spilling everything to her (and trying not to spill something else in his pants...)

“I’m sure she was exaggerating.” The woman sympathised, “I’ve had my experience with premature men... In fact, it seems like every man I meet is one. But I have a good feeling about you, I bet you’re a real stud in bed...” She brushed her hand up his thigh, her eyes full of comfort and promise, “I’ll prove it to you.”

“Prove... What to me?” He frowned.

“That you’re not as bad as she thinks. Here.” She glanced around the bar, which had emptied out considerably while he had related his tale of woe to her, and seeing that there was no one in proximity to them, she pulled her top down slightly, exposing more of the soft flesh of her breasts. His cock jumped at the sight, and for a moment he was afraid that he had already finished, but the straining erection told him that the wetness in his pants was just precum.

“Take a long look. Keep looking. Most guys can’t last ten seconds staring at me like this, I bet you can last.” He nodded. “Don’t look away now, keep staring.” Don’t look away? He couldn’t if he tried. She starting counting down. “10... 9... 8...”

He was lost in the depths of her cleavage, in the sight of her incredible breasts, and he barely heard the countdown. He felt pleasure radiating out from his cock, mixing with the pleasure from her hand as it rubbed up and down his thigh.

“7... 6... 5...” She breathed, “After this, maybe we can go back to my place, assuming you last...”

He felt like he was having an orgasm in slow motion. The heightened pleasure, the waves of feeling washing over his crotch, down into his thighs and up into his stomach, but he wasn’t quite going over the edge. Even as the cum leaked out of his rock hard cock, filling his boxers and staining his tan pants a dark coffe-cream, he felt like he had so much more in reserve, even as the pleasure kept building. He held on for all he was worth, riding the waves, trying not to give in to the ultimate pleasure. He drank in every detail of her breasts, wanting more than anything else in the world to see them bare... To feel them pressed up against him... He groaned. Out of his peripheral vision he saw her glance around the bar again.

“4... 3... 2...” She ran her other hand up his arm, and then around onto the back of his head and into his hair, as she reached two she suddenly pulled him forward, pressing his face into her huge tits, smothering him with her cleavage. He let out a muffled shout of surprise, which gave way to groans of agonising pleasure as his cock finally gave up and filled his pants with his premature cream. He squirmed on his bar-stool, shaking, as his cock shot at least an ounce of cum into his already slick, sticky pants. As he grunted and thrusted in place, his face still pressed into her boobs, he heard a gentle, tinkling laugh from the woman.

“Oops.” She laughed again, and released him. He sat back, dazed, confused, drained. She tucked her breasts back into her top, her outfit looking a lot more modest. She smiled at him, “Oh Jenni was right, you are a quick shot.” She stood up, planting a quick kiss on his forehead, “But I just had to see for myself. Too bad, little Johnnie.”

As she left, she motioned the bartender over and said something to her, and a moment later the serving girl came over to him and handed him a bill with a smile, “Your... friend... said you would be covering her drinks for the evening.” He flipped open the bill and gawped at the triple-digit sum the woman had run up this evening. But what could he do? He could hardly get up and leave in this condition. Not with the bartender looking, almost smirking, at him. 

He sighed and fished out his credit card.

[threetwooneoops]

Sam went over to his new neighbour Kathy’s house, ostensibly to borrow a cup of sugar, but with a little more than that on his mind. The new neighbour was hot: Nice face, cool tattoos, and a big rack he’d been aching to catch a peek at since the day she moved in. He rang the doorbell, excited to finally get a look at the woman he’d been admiring from afar. Literally excited, it seemed... He was already halfway to hard before he heard her call from somewhere within the house: “Come in, I’m in the kitchen.”

Sam let himself inside, skirting the half-unpacked boxes and haphazardly arranged furniture as he made his way to the back of the house. The poorly thought out placement of the dining-room table saw him enter the kitchen sideways, where two things happened simultaneously: He spotted Kathy, bent over the cupboards, in a low-cut purple top, the inviting flesh of her deep cleavage on full display; and his cock got pressed hard against the doorjamb. As he turned to face her, his chubby quickly rose to a solid, full-mast erection. Trying to move casually, he placed his sugar-bowl between himself and the woman.

“Oh hi,” she bounced to her feet and hit him with a full, beaming smile, and it took all of his willpower to keep his eyes from sinking to her jiggling chest, “You’re the guy who lives at nine, right?”

“Uh yeah. Sam.” He edged a little closer and extended his hand, “Welcome to the neighbourhood.”

“That’s so nice of you!” She took his hand and pumped it enthusiastically, setting her chest to wobbling again. She glanced off to one side before she released his hand, and Sam took the moment to absorb every detail of her fantastic breasts. They were large, well over a handful, and jiggled as if they were soft to the touch. If Kathy was wearing a bra, it couldn’t have been a very supportive one, every little move she made seemed to set her boobs swaying. Sam tore his eyes away as he felt his cock throb, aware that each glance at her cleavage was causing a little surge of precum. He didn’t want to soak right through his boxers. Kathy finally seemed to spot what she was looking for, and she went and flung open another box, retrieving some kind of kitchen mixer.

“So what can I do for you Sam?” She turned back to him and smiled, looking up at him. She really was a dot of a thing. And he could see right down her barely buttoned-up top.

“Uh, I had hoped to, uh...” He trained his eyes on her face, “Borrow some sugar.” Now that he had said it out loud it sounded incredibly lame. She probably saw right through him. Could she tell how hard he was? His anxiety seemed to make his cock throb even harder. She frowned slightly, her eyes trailing down his body... Was she looking at the tent in his jeans? Or just lost in thought? He moved the bowl to cover himself again, and surreptitiously made contact with his dick, sending a wave of tingling pleasure through his thighs.

“Normally it’s the new neighbour who borrows the sugar, not the established resident...” She smiled, “But I think I have a little. Hang on.”

She went to her pantry and fetched a scrunched up paper bag. “Yep, there’s a little in here...” She said, “Hand me your bowl.”

Sam reluctantly surrendered his cover. Kathy put it on the counter between them, and stepped up close to him. He couldn’t stop himself from staring down at her boobs as she fiddled with the sugar bag, savoring every movement she made and the resultant ripples they wrote across the supple flesh of her breasts. The pleasure radiating out from his crotch was now a constant. Every little movement she made, every jiggle, every shrug, caused his cock to throb painfully in his pants. The fabric of his boxers was slick with precum, heightening the friction against the head of his cock. Finally, she tipped the bag up, and began pouring out sugar.

“How much do you need?” She asked sweetly, and he leaned forward to see both how much she had poured, and to take another long look at her cleavage. His lean brought his rock-hard dick into contact with the bench, and he shuddered with the exultation of the contact. He gasped, and only then realised that he had failed to break his glance, that he had been caught staring unabashedly at her chest. But rather than anger, her expression was mischievous. “More?” She breathed. 

“A-a little... More...” He nodded, and she began to shake more sugar into his bowl. Her breasts leapt and bounced and she shook the bag, and she pressed them together with her arms, forcing them up out of her top. He was locked onto them now. He couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“More?” She half-asked, half-moaned.

“Ye-...” he swallowed, he could feel the hot cum creeping up his shaft, did she want him to take it out? Was she even really aware of what she was doing to him? He was on the verge of losing it...

“Sam?” She started shaking harder, her breasts leaping more with each movement, “How much more do you want?” She leaned a little closer, he couldn’t stop himself... “How much more can you take?”

He groaned as his cock exploded, shooting stream after stream of cum into his shorts. The explosion of pleasure was so intense he felt his knees weaken, and he grabbed the counter to keep himself upright, moaning helplessly as load after load surged into his boxers, and seeped through into his jeans. Finally, after what seemed like an hour of intense pleasure, he began to come back to himself. Standing there. In his new neighbours kitchen. Post-orgasm, creamy cum leaking through his shorts, totally unable to hide what had just happened. “Oh-... Uh-... I mean...” He started to stammer.

She smiled, that same mischievous smile, and handed him the bowl. “That should tide you over for a while... But if you find yourself in need of more, don’t hesitate to come right back over.” And with that he found himself rushed out of the house, and deposited on her doorstep, barely coherent, hell, barely able to walk.

It was only when he got the stink-eye from Mrs. Glick that he realised just how badly ruined his pants really were. He hurried home, in two minds about ever asking the new neighbour for sugar again.