the inside and outside

stories of places and thoughts through pictures (Piret, estonian)

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Home forests are always pretty but after spring time rain, the green is so much brighter and sometimes even makes me think that it's not natural

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Greater Kudu (Tragelaphus strepsiceros) with amazing horns ( and a bottom...) , from uni trip to South Africa. (Piret, 2016)

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Giraffe (Giraffa camelopardalis) from few years ago, a uni trip to South Africa. (Piret, 2016)

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It's weird how even when I somehow convince myself that I want to do/change something, some small part of me retorts back to those old habits that have ruled my life for so long. But now it's time to move on... A week started of great, I had a email from uni of algarve for a spot, I cut of my hair (almost all of it) and now just replied to algarve saying YES. I still have some debate about it but it feels right, like a step towards better place. And even if I rethink it and get another yes or something from somewhere else I can always say no. I'll always have the possibility to say no and even if it might not paint me in the best colours I'll always try to make decisions based on me (from now on).

Cutting of my hair has been something I wanna try for years and going to uni in Portugal /somewhere warm is another thing I have wanted to do... So two things in a week. Fuck yeah!

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Desk buddy who uses my hand as a pillow

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Night time has always been special (Piret, Tallinn)

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Even though I have now spent over 15 years at school, I have now started to learn the basics of self. I started learning from myself, listening to my body and spending more time with myself. No matter how much time is spent in different schools the most important things are learnt from yourself and those around you. You are important! (Piret)

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Turku Archipelago was amazing place for a weekend trip. the pure nature and the places away from other people... quietness in the mornings and views that take a breath away. (Piret)

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I remember when I first heard about asexuality and read about it. So many things finally made sense to me. I understood that there is nothing wrong with me and that not caring about sex is okay. but the fact that my own so called best friend didn’t understand is what made it real... there is still so long to go until most of the peopel accept asexuality. because “you just haven’t found the right person” sound like a valid reason to them. I’m happy to say that I’m ace and that there is nothing wrong with me. (Piret) 

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One of those days when I really want to study but somehow my mind is stuck in some cycle of do things but don’t do anything… First day this year when it feels really like winter is finally over and now comes spring, the new beginning we get every year. The days grow longer, going home comes closer and I’m more and more happy. I find that I’m so much more than I was last year, I find I’m so much more content than I have been for so many years. And finally I’m more excited about living then thinking how I don’t want to be anymore. (Piret)

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Life always gives you different options to figure out who you are. There on the edge of the Ocean I felt home. I felt the peacefulness take over the raging soul and I understood that home isn’t a place but a feeling inside ( Piret, French Polynesia)

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Let me breath in the ocean. Let me smell the sea. Make it to better days when I don’t think about being free. ( Piret, French Polynesia ) 

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Spring is sneaking in step by step every day. Closer and closer to the day when everything is covered in greenness ( Piret )

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It all seemed so much easier, like everything was going like planned but then everything got mixed up and life felt upside down. Never thought it might take so long to start making any kind of sense again but it has been more than few years now. Taking step by step, I’ll get there. Hoping that the days will be better than they have been the last few years when everything fell apart. It’s hard to look for something if you don’t know what exactly are you looking for. But I now have faith in myself and I believe I can make it out of the place I let myself fall in all those years ago. I’ll meet you on the otherside as better me! (Piret) 

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I know you left before she did, but you were still as much my best friend as she was. We may have had a weird not always loving friendship but that doesn’t change anything. I miss you like crazy . hopefully you two are now together, enjoying the journey. I’ll see you again one day! (Piret, best friend for life) 

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One of those days that make me think back to different things. missing my best friend today. I know you are just taking another step on the endless journey but still, I miss you! I’ll see you again one day ( Piret, one of my best friends)