It's like, I have these characters just laying around with their intricate personalities and their elaborate backstories, but they belong nowhere, they have no place to call home.
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pairing: bada lee x fem!reader
genre: slight angst but with a happy ending maybe?
word count: 1.59k
warnings: cursing. not proofread.
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echoes of voices inside the enclosed space can be heard right before she had left the room, and as the door closed, bada sighed before making her way to the locker rooms. it was yet another day with her calendar is filled with classes that takes up most of her hours in a day. she was never workaholic to begin with but she felt the urge to push herself into the brink of exhaustions for various reasons. even her colleagues in the industry has been worried about her current state but what does bada reply everytime one raises their concern over her situation?
"i am okay."
"i'll be fine."
and she would just shrug it off.
the female takes a quick sip from her tumbler as she makes her way to her next class but the staff stopped her and told her that most of her classes after that postponed and requested to move the dates. confused, she asked why and how did she not know this. The staff shrugged and handed her the outline of the new schedules. she sighs, already knew whose idea it is.
a few minutes later, she is in front of howl's desk, who looks at her with an amused expression on his face.
"you need to take a breather." that's what the male had told her, and bada answered with an eyebrow raised. "just because we're good friends doesn't mean i allow you to reschedule all my hard-earned classes without my fucking consent."
the male just chuckled and propped his elbows atop his desk. "what more do you want to prove? you're the most sought-after choreographer in the region. you have proven your worth, now you need to rest before you get burnt out. everyone knows it, EVERYONE."
"what do you mean?"
"you know what i meant."
the oreo-haired girl knew what he meant but she chose to ignore it and just sighed, dismissing the idea. "it's not even about her. i am doing this for myself."
"is it really?"
-
it took a good thirty minutes of exchanging reasons, bickering and such until bada finally submits to the male. and there she was, walking by the sidewalk, on her way to her flat. beneath the overcast night of the city, dim neon lights buzzed softly, their glow almost reflected the snow-covered streets. the city was bustling as it normally did despite the recent snowfall
cars honking, laughter coming from the hidden paths, and the occasional sound of a street musician strumming mellow tunes. never thought that bada would miss the scent of the city as she was stuck inside the enclosed dance studios she comes in. but now, bada was among the commotion, walking in silence, her steps being steady while her heart is in turmoil. it never did until that discussion with howl.
since she was a little girl, bada had loved all aspects of the big city but her favorite spot was that cafe, which happened to be in between the bookshop and the antique shop. aside from the dance studio, the certain cafe mentioned is where she finds solace. she spent her first hard earned money for a slice of cheesecake there, and everytime something good happens to her, the cafe is her go-to spot.
it was the same cafe where she met you on a similar snowy night four years ago. you rushed inside to shelter from the heavy downpour, and it so happened that bada is there, slender fingers wrapped around a warm cup of coffee she is enjoying, looked up as you burst inside covered in snow, shivering and panting. there are no vacant seats inside the cafe except bada's table, to which you went and claimed immediately.
just as you finally settled in, breathing calmed down, you apologized that you sat down without her consent, bada shrugged it off and told you not to apologize given the situation you're in, but instead offered her warm cup of coffee. much to your embarrassment, you refused to get her cup but bada insisted. it was then their friendship bloomed. at a certain day or time, they coincidentally meet. gradually, the more they talked, laughed together, and the more they filled the silence with their presences, they had created memories in that one corner, so much so that their connection had deepened like layers of a well-produced song.
it's an understatement that as their connection deepens, feelings began to grow.
but as life often does, they went their separate ways. you were given the opportunity to explore more of your craft. bada knew that you wanted to be a musician, and she was fully supportive with it. bada was left behind, of course, but the two promised to keep in contact. for the first few months, she had become a distant observer to your journey. you two had had pledged to keep in touch, yet as time goes by, and the messages they sent to each other became fewer and far between.
replies became colder, as to which the two didn't know why. but they went on their own lives. you became a well-known singer-songwriter while bada became a sought-after dancer and choreographer. while on the said industry you two have the chance to meet or cross paths, but you did well in avoiding each other.
-
tonight, the café was conducting an open mic session, a thing bada had not attended since you left. Hher unplanned intention was to come—it was easier to cling to memories than to confront their absence—however, there was this unique feeling in the air tonight. nostalgia successfully lured her to come close, thus she found herself sitting at the familiar table, with the aroma of coffee making her mind rest somehow. the oreo haired girl's fingers idly played with the brim of her cup, the same fidgeting movement she used to do every time she waited for you to arrive. it's different this time, knowing the opposite seat will remain vacant.
the evening passed by in a stream of voices and tunes. some of the performers were in their natural and unprocessed state, and others sang with a self-assurance that uplifted the gymnastics space. bada clapped gently, yet she is feeling upset inside. staying inside only worsened the bubbling thoughts inside her head, so she briefly stands up and was ready to leave. it was then the host appeared behind the backstage, approaching the microphone with a deep smile.
"ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to announced that our special guest is here. please welcome, our very own… y/n jang!"
The place erupted with cheers, bada stopped from where she stood. her breath hitched and unconsciously clutched on her chest. before she can process everything, you entered the mini stage, waving at the cafe goers with the familiar sincere smile. you seemed more or less the same, but at the same time, different.
grown up, but still possesses that fire bada had recognized.
as you looked around, greeting the people who have come to see her, your eyes found bada's and your smile waned briefly. you cleared your throat and tightened the grip around the microphone. you moved it after, while you try to keep your cool, you leaned forward and spoke, voice calm and soft.
"i wrote this song with this someone in mind, this someone who had reminded me that even when days had gone by, some things stay with you.
the backtrack played, bada felt the first notes of the song which sent a shiver running down her spine. almost, as if by coincidence, the song felt like a memory. the lyrics uttered out from your lips felt like a reflection of love that refused to die, of tears and joy, and a love that continued to live throughout the seasons.
she noticed your vulnerability through your voice, every word uttered is accompanied by some sort of intense and unshown sentiment.
it felt like it was a song dedicated for her. bada didn't want to assume, but it felt like it.
the song kept going until her time on the stage ends and she received applause, commending her heartfelt performance.
the crowd slowly scattered away, leaving them standing face-to-face. for a moment, neither of them spoke, the weight of years and unsaid words hangs in between them.
“Hi”, bada said, finally shattering the comfortable silence between them. your lips began to tremble, the emotions swelled inside you and before you can even reply, tears began to flow down your cheeks.
"the famous y/n jang is still a crybaby?"
she joked, which got out a chuckle from you.
-
the two settled on their familiar table, enjoying a cup of coffee. as they filled up with what they had missed on their lives. the hardships, the successes. it suddenly felt like it returned to their blissful days that had passed. there was silence still, but they tried patching it up slowly.
"i'm sorry, bada."
"for what?"
"for ending things like that. i should've done something to keep ourselves connected."
bada lowered her head. "it's okay, really. we have focused on our dreams and goals. don't blame yourself. i am at fault, too, you know.."
“I… missed this,” you said in a soft manner. "i miss you, bada."
and she missed you too, bada missed you too. she felt hope, suddenly believed that both can still retrieved what was lost between, and whatever they paused can be continued. along with the cup of coffee that thawed the cold lining between them.
The smell of espresso and the sound of pages turning greet you as you enter the cafe. The tinkling of the bell against the door is light and musical as it shuts behind you, blocking the chill of the wind outside. Sitting around the cafe in comfortable and cushy armchairs and sofas are patrons from various backgrounds. Some are holding books while some sit with sketchbooks or tablets. Art adorns the walls not dominated by bookshelves. The entire atmosphere is overall cozy and welcoming.
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the video of seunghan walking past those funeral wreaths is incredibly hard to watch , he was all alone and the fact sm kept them up the entire day it's almost like they wanted him to see them... and then the boys at the airport, they looked so tired and sad , how is this better , everyone is miserable , the only people that are happy is ot6 briize, they dont even care about the other members happiness ...
the writer’s dilemma:
- want to write a novel
- want to read 10 novels for inspiration
- end up doing neither and scrolling through memes about writing instead