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@throwingknives-perry-blog
All the lonely people Where do they all come from? All the lonely people Where do they all belong? Ah, look at all the lonely people Ah, look at all the lonely people Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name Nobody came Father McKenzie wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave No one was saved
You Were Only Waiting for this Moment to Arrive || Chandler's Awakening
She nodded. Alright. So, he didnât want to know. Sheâd have done the same. Sheâd have wanted to learn later, to take time to process that she was alive, not dead, and breathing. Genesis stood up, ready to leave, âRest. Yeah.â She said firmly, nodding once more and clearing her throat, teetering and tottering back and forth from her heels to her toes, hands buried deep in her pockets, âIâllâ quarters,â she shrugged, backing away, and beginning towards the door.
Genesis was safe. So close to leaving. The farther she was, the better things between them would be. Confusing the boy more would only make things more difficultâ and things were already so fucking difficult.
âStay?â
The way his voice sounded pulled at her heartstrings (miracle really, she hadnât realised she had any leftâ she half laughed at that,) making her hesitated at the door for a moment. She stood there, hand gripping the frame, breathing deeply, trying to get her head wrapped around it all. Stay. He wanted her to stay. A final request, she thought of it as, a final request. For old timesâ sake. Genesis took a breath and put a small smirk on her face, turning around and heading back to him, putting her hand in his hair and ruffling it, trying to infuse that brother-sister feel that they used to have. ââCourse, fuckass,â she said, shrugging off her jacket and sitting beside him again. âIâll stay,â Genesis murmured, nodding towards the bed and blankets, âGo on, then,â
Genesis was almost out the door when his words reached her ears. She stopped, her body tensed up and she grabbed at the door frame. Â Chandlerjust looked down and way. âIf you donât want to ââ His stopped mid-sentence when he saw her turn around with a smirk on her face. That brought one to him once again. She wanted to stay with him and that made him happy.
He usually smiled when she touched his hair, but this time, he grimaced. The touch felt a little forced, like she was trying to avoid something, or reinforce something with that touch. It didnât feel as intimate as they usually did. It was like she totally forgot about the kiss. It made him feel more like a little brother then anything.
He fixed the bed sheets that he had thrown around and climbed into bed, leaving room for Genesis. Once she did, he could feel the coolness of her body. He turned over on his side and dug his face into her cool neck, soothing his flushed face. A small smile played on his lips. He loved this more then anything. To be this close to Genesis. He thought heâd never see her again, now there he was, curled up to her in bed, just like he dreamt of in the arena.
His eyes fluttered shut and he burred his face deeper into the crook of her neck. He slowly drifted off to sleep. The darkness of dreamlessness didnât scare him because he knew he was alive and it was alright now. He could relax next to Genesis. He was safe.
You Were Only Waiting for this Moment to Arrive || Chandler's Awakening
He sat on the bed before her and Genesis silently ran her fingers through the curls, gentle fingers being careful of the knots that had formed in his time asleepâ it didnât occur to her to brush his hair, she was too busy trying to will for him to wake up. Her blunt nails scratched softly at his scalp and the corner of her lips tilted upwards, a tiny hint of a smile on her face. Just a hint.
âIâm sorry,â Chandler said, only resulting in a shake of the head on Genesisâ part. Her lips parted to speak, but nothing came, her brain chalking it up to the gesture of her head being enough. She tutted softly and sat beside him, head tilted up at her ex-tribute, looking into his blue eyes. Again, her lips returned into the somewhat smile, the amused tiny smirk that didnât exactly constitute a full smirk of any kind, and she winked, âSo long as youâre alive, fuckass,â Genesis whispered, pushing his hair away and making a face, tilting her head to the side, taking him in slowly.
In the year he had slept, he had lost so much. War had begun and war was still going on. A birthday had passed and he had no idea. A whole year, an entire year, and things were going to be so hard to explain fully. A year he had slept, a year Genesis had been by his bedside, a year of his life gone, literally, in the blink of an eye. Hours ago, minutes ago, he was in the Games. For him, it was moments prior that Brianna had killed him.
But. A year. It was a year. And things changed in a year. Things changed entirely. Genesis knew, she knew that it was wrong. The feelings that she had had she buried. They werenât suitable. There was an age difference, a large difference between them, andâ she was his mentor. She was his mentorâ andâ maybeâ Genesis sighed and shook her head before taking his larger hands in hers, âBeen asleep. Wanna know?âÂ
Fingers once again found his scalp and Chandler leaned up into the touch as much as he could, like a kitten being pet. He felt pathetic being that scared and that dependent on Genesis touched to comfort him, but if there was any time to be weak it was now. In front of Genesis, it was okay for him to be weak. If everyone was okay, just like she said, heâd have to pull himself together, take care of Cybil and be there for Calpurnia. He would have to snap out of this quickly and turn his defense system on â which seemed to need time to reboot â and get to work. He wanted to be useful and he couldnât if he was a mess like he was at the moment.
Genesis sat beside him and looked up into his eyes with a soft, almost unnoticeable smile. It made Chandler smirk too. It was rare that someone could coax a smile from her, so when he did, he enjoyed it. She winked at him and said âSo as long as youâre alive Fuckass.â Which turned his smirk into a full smile. That little nickname grew on him faster than the thought it would. It made him know everything was okay, and that Genesis was okay.
They stared at each other for a bit before Genesis spoke again, once again taking his hands. âBeen asleep. Wanna know?âÂ
Of course he wanted to know. He had a million questions and only a few answers. He wanted to know where they were exactly, what happened to the games, how long he had been out. But, the fact that he was alive and sitting next to Genesis was too much information to process as it was. The cogs in his head grinded hard as if they hadnât been moved in years, and it gave him a headache. He was sure if she told him anything else heâd malfunction.
He shook his head in response. âNo⌠not nowâŚâ Although he had been resting for God knows how long, the little ordeal they just had had taken a lot of energy from him. âI just want to rest.â He looked down at her with hopeful eyes. Ever since the launch off, he didnât want anything more then just cuddle up to Genesis. Feel that secure warmth he did every time they where together like that. âStay?â he half asked, half begged.
You Were Only Waiting for this Moment to Arrive || Chandler's Awakening
He said that he missed her and Genesisâ slight smile stretched a little more, reaching her eyes and making her feel more elated than she had felt in ages. It was comforting, too comforting, to see Chandler smile and speak and blink those too-blue eyes that sheâd grown too accustomed to. Sheâd missed him. Genesis had begrudgingly missed his presence in her bed, helping her get to bedâ a bizarre feeling of safety that came with his warm body next to hers. Sheâd missed his petulant attitude that never ceased to annoy her.
Hell, sheâd missed him.
And she hated that she did so.
Chandler started to panic and Genesisâ eyes followed his movement, expression calm and collected as it always was, a mask hiding the slight panic she was feeling at seeing him change. She got up and mimicked his movements, hushing him and walking up behind him as he pulled and tugged at the bed and its sheets and covers, âHey,â Genesis said, pursing her lips and gently tucking her fingers into the crook of his arm, forcefully spinning him around to face her, âHere,â she said, reaching into her pocket and taking her necklace out, dangling it before him and smirking for a moment, letting her face relax into her normal placid and slightly irritated expression.
Genesis moved silently, as she always did, the only noise being the whirring of the machines and the slight rustle of clothing. Her arms reached behind Chandlerâs neck and she snapped the necklace closed, looking at the razorblade pendant as it resting on his chest, rising and falling with every breath.
âSome home,â the words were scarcely spoken, seeing as Genesis never spoke unless she felt she had to and she didnât exactly mean the words. Not homeâ not District Six, because she knew that it wasnât a very homey place. Maybe she meant part of herselfâ because to someone, anyone, she wanted to be important. Someone to remember fondlyâ but Genesis knew that would never happen. Sheâd accepted it.
Chandlerwas grabbed by the arm and turned around to face Genesis. He tried to look anywhere else but in her eyes because the guilt was overbearing. He had lost the necklace. He lost the most precious possession he had. His gaze was faced down and he saw Genesis pull something out of her pocket and his body relaxed when he saw that razor blade pendent. She reached up and clipped it on his neck. Once in was secure he sat down on the bed and let out a sigh.
He was tired and scared, but relieved about the necklace. He didnât lose it and he didnât fuck up as bad as he thought. His body was relaxed again, the little stomach pain that had flared up during his panic had begun to subside.Â
He looked up at Genesis and cracked a tiny smile back at her.
âHomeâŚâ he echoed mindlessly. The amount of money heâd give to see that disgusting slum of a place. He would gladly crawl into his over-firm bed and hear the trains go over head at three in the morning.
 But District six was far way, and the chances of him seeing it again were slim. Genesis was all he had now, the closest thing to a family and a home. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her in close for a hug, his face nuzzled into her stomach, regaining the closeness he lost when he jumped up to look for the necklace.
All of a sudden, all his mistakes began to flood mind. He remembered how he spent what he thought was his last few seconds on the floor crying out to Genesis. âIâm sorry.â He knew he said it a million times before, but he finally had the chance to say it in person, and maybe she would forgive him his failures.
Cause I love her with all that I am And my voice shakes along with my hands Cause it's frightning to be swimming in this strange sea But I'd rather be here then on land
Yes she's all that I see And she's all that I need And I'm out of my league once again
Every time I read a b-b-b-book about the g-gladiator g-g-games...
A-All I c-can think is:
You can still read that stuff and not like... freak out?Â
Hmmm...
Iâm notâ Iâm, Iâm fine really. And so are you, and youâre awake, this is just so.-How, how are you feeling?
Not to well. I mean, I'm alive, and that's good. And you're ok, and that's great! But, still in pain...
Hmmm...
How disappointing.
For defending your oh-so-stellar reputation to a high-and-mighty career who wanted to defend her nonexistent honor. I nearly got into another fight and it wouldnât have ended as well as the previous one. So, yes, you owe me.
I really don't have much honor, but thank you. Yeah I owe you.Â
Hmmm...
No he wonât. Heâd probably be happy that you avenged his death. Honoured his memory, in a way. Well, from what I was told.. our trackers had some kind of.. serum in them that stopped us from dying. And weâve been here in comas for about a year.
No. I know Albert. He'd hate me for doing that to you. I'm kind of glad I didn't die. I would have had to face him, and I don't think I could. The trackers? A whole year? I just - why is this sounding more and more like a bad science-fiction book?Â
Hmmm...
Not really. I mean, you were doing it to avenge your brother. I donât.. blame you. Just.. a little scared, I guess?
My brother - where ever he is - probably hates my guts, thinks I'm a monster. To be honest, I'm scared too. I don't even know what's going on. Genesis tried to explain but... i just don't know.
Hmmm...
Well, it didnât take long for me. Good thing, I guess. Made a little speech to Emerald and then woke up here. But.. Again, Iâm sorry. Brianna shouldnât have gone after you like that.
Good, I'm glad it was fast. And she had every right in the world to kill me. I deserved it.
Hmmm...
Really? Bummer. Would have thought youâd come across some earth-shattering revelations in your dream or something like that. You sure you didnât see a light at the end of the tunnel?
You owe me, by the way.
Nope. It just all went cold and black.
Owe you for what?
Hmmm...
.. Yeah. Brianna didnât make you suffer, did she?
She stabbed me in the stomach with a sword, twisted it, then cut it open. Fitting I guess. I'm not sure how long it took to die but it felt long... I was alone...
Hmmm...
I will be, I think. How did you.. you know.
Hmmm...
Youâre still late either way. Have a nice nap?
Not really. I felt like I closed my eyes for a few minutes and then opened them and I was somewhere different.
