Shit My Roommates Say

What happens when you live with others

[thunderfatclap-blog]

“I’m gonna poop, but it’s gonna sound like I’m peeing”

-roommate #2

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Feelings

Roommate 1: "why didn't you invite her over?"

Roommate 2: "Because you get angry every time she's here and start a fight with me after she leaves"

R1: "You're still allowed to bring her over!"

R2: "No, it's too much stress every time because of you. I'm just gonna break up with her cause this is ridiculous."

Me: *goes outside for a brain break*

[thunderfatclap-blog]

Diffusers

Female roommate: "Did you take my diffuser from my hair dryer?" Male roommate: "I did" FR: "Did you use it to diffuse your leg hair?" MR: "I used it for my hitachi" Me: *trying to remember the last four months and if I've used the sullied dryer*

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Roommate 1: "I asked you to help me clean the kitchen! Why are you being a dick!??" Roommate 2: "Because when I was in the kitchen and I asked you what I could help with, you started yelling at me to figure it out and 'just do it.' So I walked away cause you were being a bitch" Me: *makes first Tumblr post*

Roommates