this post includes dialogue spoilers for DEADPOOL 2. you’ve been warned.
feel free to change pronouns / wording !
❝ i took a catnap on twelve hundred gallons of high test fuel. ❞
❝ i’m gonna touch them all over. ❞
❝ i don’t speak cantonese. ❞
❝ i don’t bargain, pumpkin fucker. ❞
❝ oh god ! time out, time out ! ❞
❝ i got blood right in my open eye ! ❞
❝ i’m so glad i left the kiddos at home. ❞
❝ that babysitter of yours is high as fuck right now. ❞
❝ every good family film starts with a vicious murder, bambi, the lion king, saw seven. ❞
❝ listen, confidence isn’t something you have it’s something you create. ❞
❝ start the fucking car ! ❞
❝ i want to belong to something. ❞
❝ i want to become a contract killer. ❞
❝ i can’t wait to never speak of this. ❞
❝ oh, well that’s - that’s just the most beautiful thing i’ve ever - i don’t know what this is. ❞
❝ kids, they give a chance to be better than we are, better than we used to be. ❞
❝ you are a lot smarter than i look. ❞
❝ thank god i didn’t have t’ use the cream cheese speader. ❞
❝ go home, you’ve been here for three days. ❞
❝ you know what FINE stands for ? fucked up, insecure, needy and emotional. ❞
❝ don’t you know how t’ knock ? ❞
❝ i thought you saw me with your ears. ❞
❝ can’t really live ‘til we’ve died a little. ❞
❝ what in the fuck knuckles is this ? ❞
❝ should’ve brought my rape whistle. ❞
❝ first off, i’m not even a virgin. ❞
❝ you always make it hard. ❞
❝ like beyoncé says, please, please stop cheating on me. ❞
❝ come quietly, or there will be trouble. ❞
❝ put your hands behind your knees and get down on your head, now ! ❞
❝ rules are meant to be broken. ❞
❝ those guys hurt you ? ❞
❝ i fight for what’s right. ❞
❝ you’re so dark ! are you sure you’re not from the dc universe ? ❞
❝ we need a secret code. ❞
❝ am i gettin’ catfished here or ? ❞
❝ isn’t that a little derivative ? ❞
❝ you’ve been chosen by a higher power. ❞
❝ never underestimate a man with a moustache. ❞
❝ he’s going in through the back ! oh god, he’s inside ! ❞
❝ i’d ask who you are but you’ll be dead in a second. ❞
❝ ooh. somebody knows … karate. ❞
❝ something is so terribly, terribly wrong. ❞
❝ i should’ve worn my white pants. ❞
❝ i’m gonna rip you in half now. ❞
❝ you’re not the revenge type. ❞
❝ wha’d’ you want me t’ say, huh ? ❞
❝ what’s ________ got that i don’t have ? ❞
❝ all i told him was everything he wanted to know. ❞
❝ is this apartment listed on tinder ? grindr ? ❞
❝ well, that’s just lazy writing. ❞
❝ you remind me of my wife. ❞
❝ so what’s it gonna be, handsome ? ❞
❝ and that, is why you never eat a raw starfish. it’s just common sense. ❞
❝ i will bathe in the blood of your enemies. ❞
❝ boom ! spoiler alert. ❞
❝ i’m a grower, not a shower. ❞
❝ you should never meet your heroes because honestly, he’s a bit of a dick. ❞
❝ i don’t deserve your friendship, or your help. ❞
❝ damn it feels good t’ be a gangster ! ❞
❝ it’s not a great analogy. ❞
❝ i told you i care about you. ❞
❝ i don’t wanna die without an audience. ❞
❝ is there a knife in my dick ? ❞
❝ what the fuck is dubstep ? ❞
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