TIATOTEBS

A collection of reviews I have about the media I consume. Not worth your time. Contains spoilers.

[tiatotebs]

Mega Man 3

by Salvatore Pane, 2016

BOOK

A moderately interesting story that weaves the development history of the Mega Man franchise (not just Mega Man 3, as the title may suggest) with the author’s personal relationship with the game. This is often how the boss fight books unfold, and it can be a compelling manner of storytelling. In this case, it didn’t detract from the book, nor was it a particularly compelling mix.

Pane’s personal story was fairly interesting while also somewhat banal. He grew up with parents that had earlier consoles, and the NES was a huge step forward. When he rented Mega Man 3, he was blown away but made little progress. Later in life, he would go back to the NES collection he had built up, especially Mega Man 3, when he was stressed out or anxious.

When discussing the development of the franchise, Pane draws from other books and interviews written about the subject, which is interleaved with his own musings and discussions with other retro game enthusiasts. While it was interesting to get this information, it seemed like it may be better to read some of the sources referenced. I wish it had spent more time on the games, as it felt like it was too much of a surface level analysis.

While the author didn’t explictly state this, it was interesting to see that the directors of the Mega Man games seemed to be cursed. Kitamura, Kurokawa, and Inafune, would all go on to form spin-off game companies that would fail within a few years (or in Inafune, do an ill-received kickstarter game). Of course, this is probably more of a reflection on the difficulties of the video game industry than their own failures or Mega Man’s ghost haunting them.

3/5. It was OK.

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Baneblade

by Guy Haley, 2013

BOOK

Many books in the Warhammer 40k universe focus on the Space Marines, so with this and the previous book, it has been interesting to get another perspective. This time we see the perspective of the Imperial Guards, the expendable faction of the human army.

We see a few different perspectives, primarily focusing on Bannick, a recent recruit, the son of clan leader on some remote planet, with some brief forays into his commander and a tech priest. Bannick is a moderately interesting character, with his inciting motivation lying in his killing of his cousin in a duel. This story is recounted in reverse chronological order in chapters interleaved with the main plot. 

While this could have been an interesting character flaw (Bannick’s only real one, arguably), it turns out that the killing was accidental and merely done in self-defense and after making every effort not to kill his relative. When the character growth lies primarily in the reader being meted out information showing that the flaw has tons of exculpatory evidence, it doesn’t exactly make for compelling storytelling.

Bannick joins the Imperial Guard with a man who is essentially a brother to him, and  quickly disappears early in the story, presumably a victim of an early engagement. We’re left hanging as to what happens to him, but he later shows up as a ghost/hallucination/divine manifestation(?) to another character. This isn’t really explained, and it doesn’t make much sense narratively. This other character is told to let Bannick know that everything’s fine, but we never see that payoff, and the whole character felt entirely unnecessary.

The antagonist in this book is the Orsz, particularly an Ork witch, a rare occurrence for the Orks. This makes them more compelling to me, as they surpassed being just a force of nature that is worn down by attrition to a force that had to be strategized against. The humans, of course, win, but in the closing scenes we see the Ork witch wandering off into the dessert, promising retribution. I hate it when that happens in media. The Ork witch was not that compelling of a character. You can just kill him off.

Overall, it wasn’t a bad book, but it had enough missteps that it wasn’t particularly enjoyable to read either.

3/5. It was OK.

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Priests of Mars

by Graham McNeill, 2012

BOOK

Priests of Mars was a compelling look into the Adeptus Mechanicus, and did a good job of fleshing out that organization, illustrating how much of their technology was just repurposing technology from a lost civilization that they could no longer understand or reproduce.

The characters were mostly interesting, although very few of them had arcs that went anywhere. This was clearly not designed to be a self-contained story, and I’m not sure that I could say that there’s a single plotline that’s resolved within the novel.

Despite that, I found the writing compelling and the universe that it weaved interesting. I appreciated the perspective of someone that was subjugated to run the ship, although it looked as though the plot was set up to go in a less compelling way in the second novel. Similarly, it was nice to see a Warhammer 40k book that didn’t focus on Space Marines. There is one organization, but their role in this novel was mostly an unimportant one.

It doesn’t rely on knowledge of the Warhammer universe, and while it is still dominated by male characters, it doesn’t have the bro-y character that the Space Marine-focused novels can.

4/5. I liked it.

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Books of Blood, Vol. 3

by Clive Barker, 1984

BOOK

Son of Celluloid

A strange story about a man who dies in the back of a movie theater and his cancer who tries to gain attention (and therefore life force) by mimicking Hollywood stars. Not really an interesting story. It felt more like an off-brand slasher movie than an interesting story.

3/5

Rawhead Rex

Rawhead Rex starts like a pretty typical story of man accidentally unearthing some terrible horror. It’s interesting for its restraint. It’s not some colossal horror that can defeat jets in battle. It’s a terrible creature from another time. One that is capable of using cars as weapons, but one that retreats from a gang of police officers shooting at it. 

Up until near the end I wasn’t sure how I felt about the story. It takes its time getting started, with some attention spent on setting the scene. It spends more detailing his inadvertent resurrection. It starts to drag as it details the monster’s kills.

It’s the ending that really gripped me. There was something about the brutal, primitive nature of its defeat that held some power to me, and led me to like this story more than I anticipated I would.

4/5

Confessions of a (Pornographer's) Shroud

A fairly straight-forward revenge ghost story from the perspective of the ghost. Some interesting imagery, but ultimately pretty bland. Despite that, it flowed well and it knew how long to last.

3/5

Scape-Goats

Scape-goats tells the stories of four individuals whose boat has been stranded on a strange beach. It has oddly compelling imagery, and the drudgery of the beach is some of the imagery that Barker has written that has felt more real than me. The image of flies on rocks remaining stationary as the main character walked over them was surprisingly disturbing.

It lacks much surprise, and once one of the sheep is murdered, it winds its way towards its inevitable conclusion. In terms of imagery and plot, it wouldn’t have felt out of place in a Junji Ito collection. I wonder if he was at all influenced by Barker. They certainly share some similarities in their stories and their ingenuity.

Anyway, the imagery is really what carried this tale beyond just being another story about bickering couples.

4/5

Human Remains

An interesting story about a man who takes great pride in his appearance, and the statue that slowly assumes his identity. It manages to unveil the answer to the mystery in a slow, yet satisfying manner. Like many Barker stories, it becomes clear halfway through the story how it’s going to end, but that’s part of the point of the story. Their fates are inevitable. Despite the hollowing out the main character goes through, he never dreads his fate. His progression is not unwanted, only accepted.

I suppose that’s a strong part of the horror. Losing your will to live, embracing the death that comes. It feels most convincing in this story, as he yields his life to his increasingly-perfect facsimile, content with how his doppelganger is living his life. An effective story.

4/5

This is the final Books of Blood volume I’ll read for a while, I think. I didn’t dislike them, but it’s time to move on to other stories, at least for now.

4/5. I liked it.

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Books of Blood, Vol. 2

by Clive Barker, 1984

BOOK

Dread

This one is a fairly bland story about a psychopathic guy who tortures people until their minds break. It feels a bit on the nose when it comes to the horror, and wouldn’t have felt out of place on some creepypasta site. The ending doesn’t help with that, as it ends up being the sort of twist that epitomizes that brand of horror. There is always the chance that this helped originate that, but, hey, I’m reading it now, so it has to deal with my existing baggage.

3/5

Hell’s Event

There’s something quaint for me about religious-based horror. The blasphemous way that it degrades the power of heavenly forces, leaving humans to the mercy of demons. This story was intriguing, and I guess I’m a sucker for beings so terrible that to look on them is to die, but I don’t think this one will stick with me. It takes a more comedic bent, and the struggle between good and evil coming down to a single competition isn’t exactly a new concept.

3/5

Jacqueline Ess: Her Will And Testament

Not much to say about this one. I enjoyed it as Jacqueline sought out power and seemingly effortlessly disposed of those in her way. The story didn’t really seem to go many places, but it definitely had a coherent message. I enjoyed it.

4/5

The Skins of Our Fathers

This one is worth reading for its title pun alone. Taking place in the desert, it follows various characters as they interact with a procession of demons, who occasionally interact back. The demons are described with classic Barker imagery. The story went interesting places, but it ended with an abruptness typical of these short stories.

4/5

New Murders in the Rue Morgue

A strange, meandering account about a man’s encounters with a gorilla his friend trained to act like a human. There’s a core mystery to the story—why does the gorilla murder people—that is never answered. Ultimately, while the setting was more or less interesting, I found the progression of the story rather bland.

2/5

I didn’t like this volume of Books of Blood as much as the previous one. Hopefully the next one will prove more interesting.

4/5. I liked it.

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Sojourn

by R. A. Salvatore, 1991

BOOK

This is the book that I was afraid that Exile was going to be. Drizzt has finally made his way to the above-ground world. The problem, of course, with the above-ground world is, of course, that it’s dreadfully boring compared to the Underdark. I recognize that much of that is a “me” thing, but this book is far less compelling than the prior two. They both had Menzobarranzan to anchor the plot and serve as a source of more interesting conflict with Drizzt.

Sojourn has a guy named Roddy McGristle, quite possible one of the worst names in fantasy.

Sojourn actually starts out in a fairly promising fashion. Drizzt, who does not know the common tongue, attempts to befriend the people of a farming village. There’s misunderstandings, and he has a tough time trying to express himself. Then another monster comes by and murders them all. Drizzt feels guilt about this and flees the situation.

Before he fled (and even before the murders), he was confronted by Mr. McGristle and killed one of his dogs (and tricked him into dropping a tree on himself). McGristle holds a grudge, and is one of the more evil characters in the series. In this book (which hopefully is the only place that he shows up), he strangles a former companion, puts a companion into a bag and bashes them into the wall until they die, and threatens to rape a girl. Cool guy. The latter was completely unnecessary, and seems like a not-uncommon occurrence in Salvatore’s books. Maybe it was a late ‘80s and early ‘90s thing?

Anyway, McGristle and a band of adventurers from a nearby city follow Drizzt on his journey, looking to capture him, or at least discern his motivations. They know that he didn’t murder the family, but dark elves are bad news so he needs to be kept track of. The leader of the adventuring party, Dove Falconhand, is a fairly interesting character. Fairly quickly, they determine he’s not a threat, and they (aside from McGristle, who has a personal grudge) stop following him. Aside from a letter, we never see them again.

Drizzt is never given much time to settle with any one character, and the books suffers for it. Drizzt and Belwar’s relationship was one of the more interesting parts of the previous book, but there’s no one who lasts more than fifty or so pages with Drizzt. This results in Drizzt being fairly insufferable during the whole book.

With one of his companions, he learns that there are good races and evil races, which slim chances that they deviate from their nature. While Drizzt never hesitates to kill someone from an “evil” race (except drows, if he were to encounter them again, I suppose) without figuring out their true nature, he doesn’t kill McGristle, a man that will not stop pursuing him and that he knows is a bad guy. I guess humans get a free pass (although not at all in the later books).

We also meet Catti-brie and Bruenor, and an epilogue that contains a slew of spoilers for later books, which I’d fortunately already read. What a disappointment this was compared to the previous two books in the trilogy.

2/5. I disliked it.

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Exile

by R. A. Salvatore, 1990

BOOK

I was afraid that Drizzt leaving Menzobarranzan would result in me liking this book less. The 10 year gap inserted between when the previous book ended and this one began did little to dissuade me of that notion initially. Once this book got going, however, I quickly gained an appreciation for its new setting. Still taking place in the Underdark, this covers a variety of alien underground settings—triggering my love of underground society even more than the original.

The plot isn’t entirely divorced from Menzobarranzan, however, as it also follows Drizzt’s family as they work to increase and retain their place in the dark elf society. This part is less developed and weaker than it was in the previous book, but still enjoyable. It introduces a rogue faction to the drow society, led by Jarlaxle, who plays too big a role in every scene to be very believable. All the other characters play second fiddle to him in the story, even Matron Malice, who is clearly headed for a downfall from the beginning of the book (we know Drizzt doesn’t die, after all). Jarlaxle’s best interactions are with Dinin, and it’s unclear whether Salvatore intended for them to have romantic tension, but it’s definitely there.

On the Drizzt side of things, we see a couple new cities—those of the deep gnomes and the illithids, and it was fantastic. The descriptions, although often not as rich as I’d like them to be, admittedly, were enough to send my imagination racing. Drizzt, while still an unstoppable murder machine, has more convincing trials this time around as he fights off the solitude that his self-imposed exile has thrust upon him.

Belwar, a deep gnome who is Drizzt’s companion for most of the book, is enjoyable, and while his growth is mostly limited to the first few chapters with him in it, it’s enough to make him a likable and compelling character. Another character, Clacker, also joins them on the journey, introducing some well-earned pathos into the story.

The plot is rarely surprising, but I thoroughly enjoyed the story, admittedly mostly for the setting, but not brought down by the characters either.

4/5. I liked it.

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Bible Adventures

by Gabe Durham, 2015

BOOK

Bible Adventures is one of many books in the Boss Fight Books series. This one covers the NES game Bible Adventures as well as other games created by Wisdom Tree (and its parent/original company, Color Dreams). Durham weaves an interesting story, chronicling the general trajectory of Color Dreams, interjecting relevant experiences from his own life.

Like making religious video games themselves, writing a book about religious video games is a difficult line to tread. You could err on the side of making it too transparently or overwhelmingly religious, putting off non-believers myself, but you can also treat it with such disdain or irony that religious individuals would be offput. I can’t speak how Durham fared with the latter group, but it struck just the write tone with me.

Durham inserts a religious perspective that is foreign to me, a childhood filled with church and Bible competitions and attempted beach conversions. There’s a sort of voyeuristic quality to reading about his experiences, as they’re experiences that I would not dare, or even be welcomed, to have.

This is intermixed with a compelling story of a bunch of mostly nonreligious people pivoting from making unlicensed NES games to unlicensed religious games, exclusively for the money. It’s a story of a religious individual who goes from being religious to nonreligious as he works for Color Dreams, quitting as the company pivots to a religious nature. It’s a secular game development staff working alongside a religious sales team. It’s a story of a small indie development team that couldn’t help but remind me of that of id software (and I’m sure many others at that time).

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.

5/5. I loved it.

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Books of Blood, Vol. 1

by Clive Barker, 1984

BOOK

This one’s a collection of short stories, so I suppose I’ll talk about each one in turn, then give my overall impression.

The Book of Blood

This story primarily sets the scene, establishing the eponymous book of blood. The imagery used is interesting, but ultimately it didn’t do more than set the scene for the rest of the book.

The Midnight Meat Train

A fairly conventional horror story about a murderer who kills people on subway cars in New York City. It’s told competently enough, but the climax of the story felt lacked its punch as it felt a little too been-there-done-that. It may be the Seinfeld effect in action, but there was nothing new here.

The Yattering and Jack

 A fun story about a demon unsuccessfully trying to torture/corrupt a person. Seeing it from the point of view of the demon was a fun twist, and the concept was enough to carry the story. Once you also see the man’s point of view, the story starts to get a little bit tired, but it wraps up soon after. Kind of ends without much ado, but I’m not sure how it could go in a satisfying manner after its conclusion anyway.

Pig Blood Blues

Set in a sort-of juvenile detention house situation, Pig Blood Blues tells the story of an ex-policeman who tries to look out for one bullied child in particular. The whole detention center, inmates and employees alike, seem to have it out for him. He ultimately comes up against his antagonist, a pig (probably) possessed by an inmate who killed himself in its coop.

The story was moderately interesting, but wound up being more bizarre than horrifying.

Sex, Death and Starshine

A comparatively lighthearted story about a production of Twelfth Night in which the performance ends up being more for the benefit of the dead than the living. A fun little ghost story, but it felt like something I had read before.

In the Hills, the Cities

This one is far and away my favorite of the collection. It covers two men, vacationing in Europe. In their travels, they come across a practice that two rival cities engaged in: strapping themselves into two colossal configurations and looking to battle each other. The imagery for the colossi is rich, which each person in the city acting as a cell in the greater creature.

In horror stories it often rests on the madness provided by things undescribed. I was skeptical that one could describe such a stimuli and have it not have it prompt any doubt, but this story did it. The description of this creature is rich, and is just enough to fuel the imagination. A really imaginative story.

As a bonus, I line from this story was lifted by Trent Reznor for a Nine Inch Nails song, and it was surprising to see a line pop out at me like that.

4/5. I liked it.

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Homeland

by R. A. Salvatore

BOOK

Homeland is the prequel to the Icewind Dale Trilogy, an origin story for Drizzt. It takes place in the drow city of Menzoberranzan, a fairly intriguing land. Salvatore introduces an intriguing society, in which the only real crime is to get caught while perpetrating another one. Murder is fine, if there are no witnesses. Attempted murder? Punished by death.

The citizens of Menzoberranzan worship, Lloth, an evil spider goddess. Various houses jockey for her favor, occasionally engaging in hits on other families to boost their own standing. Altogether, it’s a fairly interesting setting, and conceptually, there’s space for Drizzt, a drow elf that does not follow his society’s murderous, back-stabbing ways. However, his writing is lacking, and he does not come across as a compelling figure.

Blessed with benevolence from birth, he constantly is ostracized based on his aversion to murder and betrayal. He’s posed time and time again with situations that are designed to whip him into the society’s shape and somehow, in a manner that isn’t at all explained, he resists. He never gives into his temptations, only killing in self-defense.

His reticence to embrace the ways of the drow constantly put him at odds with his fellow drow and family. He’s constantly being punished yet being given passes for his discordant behavior, and only gets out of punishment by being the best at everything he does all the time. Drizzt completely fails to be a compelling character. Despite being one of a handful of even moderately good characters, he is completely unlikable, constantly making snide, unwise comments to people who hold power over him.

This brings me to something that drives me crazy about Salvatore’s writings. None of his characters know how to think thoughts to themselves. They’re constantly blurting out blasphemous thoughts or insults to others in the form of whispers. Sometimes these whispers go unheard, but sometimes they result in punishments. Do characters in the forgotten realms lack the capacity for inner dialogue? It beggars belief.

The book leads up to an assault on the Do’Urden house by a rival, something that promised to be interesting, but Salvatore cuts the legs out from under it, ending the book with Drizzt fleeing the house before the potential war could get started, ending the book.

I enjoyed this novel despite its main character, and wanted to see more of the evil, deceitful society and less of its flawless, boring main character. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be, and I doubt the next book will contain much of Menzoberranzan.

4/5. I liked it.

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The Halfling’s Gem

by R. A. Salvatore

BOOK

Plot-wise, this is easily the most interesting of the trilogy. It’s largely taken up by our group of characters (and the antagonist) traveling, like the second book, but there’s more character interactions instead of interminable battles. Regis makes a much more compelling kidnapping victim, and while there still wasn’t any threat to any of the characters (Bruenor’s death fakeout definitely removing any tension), I was genuinely interested in how it was going to go down.

Wulfgar gets some development, not rising to the occasion when someone tries to taunt him into a fight; it was a fun zag on what I thought was going to end up being a tedious diversion. Drizzt continues his really-not-as-interesting-as-Salvatore-thinks-it-is rivalry with Entreri, who is a thoroughly bland character while he comes to terms once again with the racism he encounters. The racism angle is a bit muddled due to Drizzt repeatedly telling the audience how truly terrible the drow elves actually are, but hey, that’s D&D for you, I guess.

Catti-brie is incredibly inconsistently portrayed. In one battle she seeks a non-violent solution to her friends being attacked by pirates, and in the next battle, with no character development inbetween, she eagerly shoots people with her bow and arrow. It really cuts the legs out from her arc. She serves as a love interest for Wulfgar, which really doesn’t feel earned, and Drizzt, whose relationship with her gave me more of a familial vibe in earlier scenes, and really didn’t work. Drizzt also full-on kisses her on the lips when she’s passed out and near death, which was incredibly off-putting. It also doesn’t help that she’s a teenager and he’s 40 years older than him. Creepy.

They go through a city with what could be very charitably described as questionable ethnic portrayals, and in which Drizzt displays his moral relativism, saying of a city that has someone selling the opportunity to murder slaves with a crossbow, “They live by different rules. They would, perhaps, be equally offended by the ways of the north.” Makes you wonder why he even left the drow elves at all.

Anyway, they go on a mostly enjoyable adventure to rescue Regis from a thieves guild leader named Pasha Pook and despite an unnecessary diversion to some other plane of existence, it does a pretty good job of telling a story, even if the characters are very inconsistently portrayed.

3/5. It was OK.

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Streams of Silver

by R. A. Salvatore

BOOK

I was looking forward to this book going into it. Expansive caves are always really cool, and this book promised them. We’re going to Bruenor’s ancestral home! Too bad that’s only the last 15% of the book.

The beginning was promising as well. They visit the town of Luskan, and it’s fun to see them interacting with people in a town environment as opposed to just opponents on the road. Unfortunately, they leave there pretty quickly, in a hurry to get to their destination. Regis is still being chased by the assassin from the end of the first book, who has kidnapped Catti-brie (a name I have to look up every time I spell it) and joined up with some wizard’s assistants.

The rest is a huge slog as the group slowly makes their way on the path that will eventually lead to the Mithril Hall. Pages upon pages are given to interminable battles with foes that don’t pop up again (in this book at least). As in the first book, these battles have no real sense of threat. Bruenor clearly isn’t going to die before reaching Moria the Mithril Hall, and Regis certainly couldn’t die before the assassin reached up with him. Drizzt won’t die because this is book 2 (or 5, depending on how you count it) of some larger number of books, and Wulfgar couldn’t die because he’s usually the one carrying the party (only sometimes literally).

When they do finally reach the Mithril Hall, things begin to liven up. The descriptions and antagonists are fun, and it seems like there’s at least a modicum of danger. It also contains a giant hole that Salvatore wrote himself into, where an antagonist stops her golem from digging to retrieve Drizzt from a rockfall (from which they think he has died) for no clear reason, especially given that she’s only looking for an item on his person, not to bring him back. The visit to the Mithril Hall ends with a fairly enjoyable fight with a dragon, in which Bruenor sacrifices himself to kill it. It would have felt like a fitting end to Bruenor, but, of course, the book ends with it looking like he’s actually alive. Disappointing.

The modicum of character growth that exists in the previous book is even weaker here. It seems clear that Catti-brie is primarily brought along to be set up as a love interest for Wulfgar (very disappointing). This one has a second named woman character, and far fewer references to “women and children”, so at least there’s some growth in that dimension.

The assassin character, whose name I also would have to look up, is set up as a rival for Drizzt in the next book, as he has kidnapped Regis and run off. I couldn’t care less about his character.

I should rate this as a 2/5, but the final section of the book is holding more sway over me than it should.

3/5. It was OK.

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The Crystal Shard

by R. A. Salvatore

BOOK

It’s hard to recommend Salvatore’s first published novel, The Crystal Shard. It takes more than a few cues from Tolkien, and has a clunky writing style that I don’t remember in Salvatore’s later work. It takes place in Icewind Dale, which I only knew of from the game of the same name. Icewind Dale is mainly composed of ten towns (creatively named Ten-Towns) around three lakes.

A surprising amount of the book is based around the politicking of the towns, who are independent but have a shared council. They don’t get along, with two in particular engaging in small-scale skirmishes against each other while no one else desires to intervene.

It is only through one character’s mind control amulet that they are finally persuaded to join together to tackle an oncoming threat, a group of barbarian tribes that attack. Through allying, they are able to easily rout the enemies. Does this make them any more likely to join together five or so years later when an even larger enemy comes to their doorstep? Of course not. Salvatore does a fairly good job of bringing their conflicts to the forefront, and it doesn’t feel undeserved that they don’t ally, even if it is frustrating at the time.

There are four main characters: Bruenor, Drizzt, Regis, and Wulfgar. Bruenor is the stereotypical gruff dwarf, a pretty clear analog for Gimli if he went around adopting children. Drizzt is a benevolent drow who left his home after stealing a magical panther from someone that was using it to kill gnomes. Drizzt is, of course, one of the more famous characters in the Forgotten Realms, but in this outing he felt somewhat undeveloped. Regis is a lazy, reluctant-to-help halfling thief, very reminiscent of Bilbo. Wulfgar is a barbarian who is captured during the first battle mentioned above and then raised by Bruenor.

The only one that changes at all during the novel is Wulfgar. Regis starts the novel reminiscing about how he has been chased from location to location by an assassin, and ends the book leaving Ten-Towns as he is being chased by an assassin. Bruenor starts the book as a dwarf who wants to reclaim his ancestral home, and ends it by leaving off to reclaim it. Drizzt starts the novel as a dour drow with a hatred of the sun and a lust for combat, and ends it the same way.

Wulfgar, on the other hand, starts off as a relatively-intelligent barbarian with a lust for combat, and ends it having established peace with his former enemies, leaving to support his former captor in his quest. Is it much? No, but at least it’s something. Bruenor crafts him a hammer, which is pretty much just Mjolnir.

Salvatore does a poor job of establishing a sense of threat. At no point in any of the battles did I think any of the main characters were in any sort of danger, no matter how much he tried to convince me that they were.

The primary antagonist is a man named Kessell, a former wizard’s assistant who kills his master in exchange for a promise of power. He is promptly betrayed and comes across a powerful magical artifact. Despite vowing to get revenge on the people who betray him, he never actually gets around to doing it, which was disappointing as that could have introduced some depth to the flat character. Instead, he press gangs some goblins and other magical “evil” races to follow him, and as their first task, has them kidnap a group of women to become his harem.

This book does not handle women well. The only named woman is Catti-brie, a ward of Bruenor, who first serves as an occasional foil for Wulfgar and then later as a damsel-in-distress for Bruenor to save. For the most part, all women as referenced as part of “women and children”. As in, “the women and children were killed by the invaders” or “the women and children fled while the men fought”. It really dates the book. The most egregious part is certainly the sex slaves that Kessell has. They stand around naked as he gropes them, and their ultimate fate is to be killed when the heroes destroy Kessell’s fortress. Not one attempt is made to save them.

I may read the second book, as it seems to be basically a visit to the mines of Moria, which I’m onboard with, but I can only hope that they actually bother to develop the characters in that one.

3/5. It was OK.

[tiatotebs]

Ragnar Blackmane

by Aaron Dembski-Bowden

BOOK

I knew nothing about the Space Wolves or Ragnar Blackmane when I started reading this book, so I was unencumbered by expectations that other people may have had. The prologue sets the scene, providing a glimpse of Ragnar’s future, before diving back into events that happened in his past.

The flashback portion of the novel starts out with Ragnar murdering an opponent in cold blood. I’m impressed that the author felt confident starting the novel with something that painted the main character, ostensibly a hero, in such a negative light. The characters that Blackmane has conflicts with are generally complex characters, and they have motivations that make sense independently of just serving as a foil for Ragnar. 

There’s Razortongue, a bard who seems to have a different idea as to how everything should go, a Dark Angel seeking to restore his faction’s honor after Ragnar murdered one of them in a duel taken too far, and a Flesh Eater who desires to forge his dying faction a legacy of glory. Their motivations all make sense, and I never got the impression that they were just doing something to create more conflict for Ragnar (except in the case of Razortongue, whose job is to speak truth to power).

The flashback portion, which is the majority of the book, tells the story of Ragnar overcoming the character flaw that led him to kill the Dark Angel and forging a new bond with an ancient enemy, the Flesh Eaters.

While the non-flashback portion of the novel was too heavy on fighting for me to be terribly interested, the narrative arc of Ragnar was satisfying. I’ll have to check out some other books by the author.

4/5. I liked it.

[tiatotebs]

War Storm

by Nick Kyme, Guy Haley, and Joshua Reynolds 

BOOK

War Storm is a collection of three stories by three different authors featuring the Stormcasts, which, as far as I can tell, seem to be fantasy Warhammer’s attempt at recreating Space Marines. Their physical description is almost identical, they’re forged like the Space Marines are engineered, and they have the same dour, plodding personality. This is the sequel to The Gate of Azyr, which I read, but have no memory of. That, in and of itself, is a bad sign.

Each of the three stories has the same general structure. Stormcast leader is introduced. They remember bits of their past before they were turned into Stormcasts. It may or may not tie in with the foe they’re facing. We’re introduced to the leader on the other side, a member of the faction of chaos. These antagonists are all more interesting than the tedious Stormcast. The two sides face each other in battle, and the main character sacrifices themself to achieve victory. In each story. They basically retold the same story three times.

At the very least, they could have had Chaos win at least one of the battles. Instead, each one of the dour, wordy combat scenes just drives you closer to the story’s inexorable conclusion. I don’t think I’ll remember a single one of the Stormcast tomorrow. I doubt I’ll remember any of the antagonists outside the month.

2/5. I disliked it.

[tiatotebs]

Celestian Tales: Old North

by Ekuator Games

VIDEO GAME

Barring an actual glitch that prevented me from beating the game, that was probably the most sour note the game could end on. Easy battle, easy battle, easy battle then hard battle it takes four minutes to get to every time. Really disappointing.

Anyway, I mostly enjoyed the game. The combat was, except for the ending, not too annoying, and generally got out of the way. The characters were compelling, although I don't think I could have bore playing as Yli or Aria. The end kind of sprung up on me, and I wish they'd answered anything. I wasn't even sure what the fate of the man who was attacked was.

I don't see myself playing the DLC, but I might pick up the next game when it comes out.

4/5. I liked it.

[tiatotebs]

Agents of Mayhem

by Volition

VIDEO GAME

I'm sad to say that I wasn't a fan of the game. I've liked almost all of Volition's previous games, but I just didn't enjoy this one. The gameplay started feeling repetitive fairly early, even with all the different characters they gave you. Many of them just didn't feel enjoyable to play from the introductory taste they give you. I got sick of fighting waves of enemies about halfway through the game.

Which wouldn't have been too bad if there was more mission variety, like the Saints Row games. There were races, sure, but it was based on the movement system, which paled in comparison to Saints Row 4 and Gat out of Hell, and weren't all that much of a fun change of pace. The minigames could have used the abilities of the characters, but that just wasn't there.

The story was passable. The humor didn't really cut it for me, and none of the characters or villains were all that interesting. All character plots got resolved in 2-3 missions, and the villains were similar.

I also wasn't sure how many of the missions were randomly generated and repeatable—it felt like all of them, and it was frustrating to lose outposts so quickly after I got them. Altogether unsatisfying and made me less likely to do things other than just go the next mission.

Seoul should have been an interesting location. It's an area that I haven't seen in a game, but it just felt so small and uninteresting, despite the building geometry you don't see in a normal game. It didn't feel like a living city, but it also didn't feel like a fun playground. Some better horizontal movement may have helped with the latter.

2/5. I disliked it.