Artica's "Spaghetti' Western
Story trade with @tigresslanzhu
I am by no means good at whimsical and crazy stories. But did my best.
"Artica, sweetie..." Rosita said, trying to sound as kind as possible as she re-read the script in her hands. "I don't think spaghetti westerns... mean that they're made of spaghetti..."
The white tiger giggled as she passed more scripts to every. "Then why call it that?" She asked. Then she laughed. "I know that's not what it means, Rose-chan, but think how hilarious this show is going to be if the stage is spaghetti and so are the characters!?"
"Mr. Moon did leave Artica in charge." Nooshy said as she slurped her ice coffee.
It was true. Buster had left Artica in charge of this month's show whilst he left to attend a fasion show hosted by his best friend, Eddie Noodleman.
"So... what, we all act out a western and dress up in spaghetti?" Ash asked.
"Precisely!" Artica cried.
"Er, we'll have clothes, right? Under the spaghetti?" Johnny asked, somewhat embarrassed.
"Yes, John-sir! You modest thing you, there will be leotards under the spaghetti."
"Where are we going to find all this spaghetti?" Amelia asked.
"I managed to find a local grocer to donate all the rejected spaghetti they had so technically we're not wasting! I figured Meena-Chan, Nooshy, Gunter can boil enough for the stage and costumes."
"What's... what's the plot?" Amelia asked.
"Glad you asked! It's a spaghetti WESTERN! So it'll be based in a western setting! Where a young chef comes to make his mark on the world in a small town! But invaders terrify the locals every night! So the young chef must become the night hero, Fettuccine-Fellow! And bring all the bad guys to justice with his super strong spaghetti! He lassos the 'varmints' up and leaves a piece of parsley as his calling card!"
Amelia chuckled. "You must appreciate the imagination, Rosie." She said. "If there is one thing Bust loves it's to go big and crazy. And this seems it'll fit the criteria."
"Thanks for your support, Aunt Mia!" Artica smiled.
Johnny stood to his full height. "Can't be any worse that what Mr. Moon 'cooks' up anyway. We are staying on the legal side, yeah?"
Amelia raised an eyebrow and Artica was quick to reassure what the fox detective was implying. "No illegal activities!"
"Aw, you take the fun outta it!" Nooshy said. "That's what makes it exciting!"
"I'm sure the spaghetti setting will make it exciting enough." Meena assured.
"Alright gang, let's get cooking, já?!" Gunter cried, excitedly.
"Já!" Artica enthusiastically cried as the two linked arms and skipped off the stage, ready to begin preparations.
Ash rolled her eyes. "Dad's gonna have a brain aneurism when he sees his stage covered in instant noodles."
"Come on, Ash, it sounds like it'll be fun!" Johnny said. "What can go wrong?"
_______________________________
"Everything. Everything can go wrong." Johny said, answering his own question.
It was an hour later, ans Artica had assigned parts. And Johnny wasn't enthusiastic about what he had to with his part.
Rosita was to play the part of the saloon singer, Gunter the bartender. Meena, to play the bank teller and later damsel in distress. Ash, Nooshy and Marcus' gangster, Stan and Berry were to play the bandits and Johnny was to play the young chef turned night vigilant.
Amelia would assist Artica in the production as well as assist Marcus as stage hand.
Artica had the brilliant idea of, instead of closing the curtain for each shot and stage change, the stage change would be it's own comedy with Amelia and Marcus dressed as chefs changing the scene and making a right mess in doing so.
Luckily, Artica opted for regular clothing rather then spaghetti, but real spaghetti was still used for decor on stage or around the props.
Johnny swallowed. "Artica, is this right? You want me to... swing in? Like on a rope?"
"Yes! Won't it be exciting!?"
"And is it made of spaghetti as well?" Ash asked, mischievously.
"Of course not! The spaghetti would snap instantly! Johnny could fall! It'll be a real rope!"
"Will I at least have a safety net...?"
Amelia patted the young gorilla. "I'll take care of it, lad.
Johnny nodded in appreciation.
Artica jumped up next to Rosita who was reading her script. "I know this song, from 'An a
American Tail. Fievel Goes West'?" The dancer asked and Artica nodded.
"Is the girl you left behind out there tonight romancin'?" Ash began to sing.
"Makin' eyes at someone else and singin', is she dancin'?" Amelia winked at Ash as she joined in.
"Only the girl you left behind is real when you're sleepin'!" Artica cried grabbing the two females and taking them into a circle spin.
"Hope the girl you left behind will be there for you someday! Lonely is the wind that blows, you know you'll always miss her! Lonely is a lover's heart, if only you could! Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her!"
Amelia was first to pull away, laughing, but grabbing a prop to steady herself. Rosita raised an eyebrow.
"Did you eat today?" She asked.
Artica giggled as the two adopted sisters "discussed" Amelia's eating habits or lack of. She made her way into the break room where Meena and Gunter were hard at work boiling the spaghetti. So far they had 4 large pots worth.
Artica took a pawful and prepared to put it to her mouth before Meena stopped her. "Artica, remember this spaghetti isn't for eating!" She said.
Artica frowned. "Oh, right."
"Já, here try this!" Gunter tossed a container which Artica caught. "Meena's cookies!"
"Mmm!" Artica smiled, contentedly as she munched one of the cookies.
The next few days were filled with rehearsal and even laughter as Artica found this was turning more into a blooper reel rather then a production. Still, at least everyone was having fun.
The final day for rehearsal arrived and everyone was going their final inspections.
Rosita had just finished her song number and hopped down to greet the new chef who arrived to town.
"You picked a funny place to make your first mark on the world, stranger." She said in a mock western accent.
Johnny cleared his throat, his own accent mixing with the southern accent he was supposed to use. "Figured a dusty place could use a little spice, ma'am."
"Argh!" Gunter said in a gruff voice as he cleaned a few cups at his "bar". "That there young fella is going to be up to his neck in 'spices' once ol' Iron Skill catches wind of him."
"Who's Iron Skill?" Johnny asked.
Meena ahook her roller. "Meanest, roughest bandit is this here county. Runs a mob of bandits, stealing every pot and pan we got in this here town. You best be off, young pup. Or else your pots and pans will taken too!"
"Cut! Meena! That was magnificent! You nailed that accent! Rosita, Gunter you guys did too! Johnny-sir, love it, but let's add a little southern to it, okay?"
"Aye, Artica."
"He won't need to if I can't get this blasted mechanism to work." Amelia growled from back stage. She had been working on it since it snagged the night before, leaving poor Johnny to hang on for dear life. Amelia growled as used the tools at her disposal to try and get it working.
Artica snuck up behind her and began to rub behind her ears, a sure way to calm the fox down. This case was no different. Amelia was visibly relaxing before Artica smirked and began tickling her in the same spot.
Amelia yelped and shook her head. As she did, the mechanism popped and the rope began moving at lightning speed. Amelia grabbed it with her bare paws, halting it.
"Well, that worked." She said, shaking a paw.
Meena shyly walked up to Artica. "Hey, can I talk to you?"
"Of course, Meena-Chan! Always for you!" Artica smiled as she led the elephant to a quiet corner. "What's up?"
"I have some questions about the spaghetti. When we "tie up" the bandits, the noodles are going to be too slippery to walk through. Nooshy already slipped twice. Though that second time might be to get out of re-doing the scene. And when Johnny ties up the bandits, the noodles are going to break. They're too soft."
"What do you suggest?"
"I suggest we take the whole load of spaghetti and take it to the top of the stage, on the cat walk and when the Fettuccine-Fellow catches the bandits, someone, maybe Amelia, tips the entire pot over them and they're buried in spaghetti. How's that sound?"
Artica smiled. "Whimsical and silly enough to work! Meena, you're a genius!"
Meena blushed. "Not really."
Artica smirked. "Come on, Meena-Chan." She began to tickle just above Meena's trunk and the young elephant began to giggle before she retaliated and tickled Artica under the arm making the white tiger burst out laughing.
"Oi, you two! Aren't we supposed to be rehearsing?" Amelia asked.
"Coming!" The two girls squeaked a bit and followed the fox to the stage.
Artica relayed the message to Amelia who enlisted Marcus's help in taking the spaghetti and loading it into a giant pot and hoisting it to the top of the cat walk above stage.
The tiger, fox and gorilla looked over the side, just above where the bandits would stand. "Alright! Let's have the 'bandits' line up on the X!" Artica cried.
Ash, Nooshy, Stan and Berry, all dressed in their costumes, complete with masks and black cowboy outfits.
"Alright look out be-" but before Artica could give the order, Amelia stopped her. "Before we do this, let's just do a practice run, eh?"
"How?"
The fox slipped into the darkness before returning with a load of rope. "Let's try this. I don't fancy picking up all those bloody noodles for the real thing." She panted as she lifted it over her head. "Move aside, gang! I don't want ya to get hit!" She cried.
Artica and Marcus moved aside as Amelia lugged and tossed the load over.
It was landed right on the X.
Mia sighed and popped her back. "Works."
"What in the world is going on!?"
The group turned and saw Suki Lane walking in behind Miss Crawly. The old lizard raised her loud speaker. "Miss Suki Lane is here!"
Artica watched Amelia wince as the feed back screeched and gave the fox a quick scratch behind the ears to help sooth her before turning and waving. "Hiya, miss Lane! Be right down!"
"What can we do for you?" Rosita asked.
"You can explain why the stage is set up as a western theme but the actors are dressed as Italian chefs?"
Nooshy scoffed. "We don't have to explain nothing."
Johnny hit her atop the head. "Ignore her, miss Lane. It's a 'spaghetti western'. Artica's idea."
"Guilty as charged!" Artica cried, happily.
"Is Mr. Moon aware of this... show?"
"He knows we're doing one..." Rosita said, lamely. "We've been texting, but I don't think he's fully aware of type of show it is."
"Ah, we can trust Artica's judgment. It's certainly going to be an interesting one." Marcus smiled.
Artica grinned. "Thanks, Marcus!"
Suki sighed. "I'll trust your judgment. When's Mr. Moon expected back?"
"Tomorrow, right before the show starts. Will you be there?" Rosita asked.
Suki shrugged. "Why not? I need a good, crazy show to take my mind off work. Save me a ticket?"
"Will do, miss Lane!" Artica said.
______________________________________
Finally, opening night had arrived.
The group was back stage, awaiting the arrival of their theatre director. Artica was wearing a feather boa, for the occasion and nervously biting her nails before she felt a tickle along of her neck and she giggled and jumped.
Amelia smirked. "Don't worry, lass. You did great. Buster is going to love it and if he doesn't, he'll answer to me."
Artica hugged her tight. "Thanks, Aunt Mia."
Amelia tried to answer before pieces of feather from the boa landed on her nose and she sneezed, once, twice-
"Mia, are you getting sick?" Rosita asked.
"Only sick of this blasted boa." Amelia sniffed.
"Sorry, I wanted to look nice!" Artica said.
"Guys?"
The group turned and saw Buster Moon entered from the backstage exit door. He looked at the stage that was still hidden from the audience. "Why- why is there spaghetti covering my stage and does the entire theatre smell like Fettuccine alfredo...?"
"Welcome back, Mr. Moon!" The group cried.
"All Artica's brilliant work! It's a spaghetti western!" Gunter cried. "Which leads to me to have ideas for our next show! Imagine! 7-11, the musical!"
Buster face palmed.
"Alright, Artica. You're up. Introduce your show and let's begin!" Amelia said.
Artica smiled and scrambled to the stage and prepared her speech.
"All creatures great and small! Welcome to the New Moon Theatre! I, your host, Artica Kennedy the Fourth invite you all to 'feast' your eyes on our brand new show! Fast Times In Marinara Valley!"
The audience applauded and the curtains opened as Artica slipped off stage.
An old western theme began to play as the floor moved and a carriage appeared.
Artica smiled as she watched her masterpiece unfold. Amelia patted her shoulder, proudly.
The show went on. Buster folded his arms and Artica bit her lip in anxiety as she watched him, rather then the show.
She relaxed as Buster laughed at some of the corny pasta jokes. And then again when Johnny swung in in costume.
Finally, the moment for pasta pile arrived and Artica watched as Amelia and Marcus climbed up the cat walk to where they prepared to drop the spaghetti.
Gunter, Rosita and Meena finished a corny song and gasped in mock horror when the bandits entered on stage.
Ash cleared her throat. "Alright, Fettuccine-Fellow! This is your last chance! Surrender your pots and pans and no one gets hurt!"
Johnny swung to stage, wearing a chefs uniform, a red bandana over his eyes and his apron acting as a cape. "Never, Bandito! You and your pasta, er, posse, will never steal from this town again!"
"That's it! Time to reveal to this little town who you really are! An im-pasta!" Ash suddenly grabbed a long piece of French bread from her belt and Johnny did the same. The two battled before Ash used a special ladle which swiped the end and middle of Johnny's bread.
The rest of the bandits took their own bread and raised them to Johnny's neck.
"You're plans are foiled! Prepare to fold like the dough you flip for pizzas, mozzarella moron!" Ash cried.
"You didn't count on one thing!" Johnny warned. "I don't just work with pizza!" He then used a thin spaghetti rope and tossed it up to the cat walk.
Amelia caught it. "Now!" She hissed.
She and Marcus dumped the pot and Ash and the gang looked up. "Oh, cheese sti-"
She was cut off as the group was covered in a pile of gooey spaghetti.
Johnny stood. "And don't forget the sauce!"
Amelia and Marcus dumped another pot, this time filled with tomato sauce.
Johnny smiled. "Who's the im-pasta, now?" He said.
The crowd began to laugh and then applaud. Artica gasped in delight as she received a standing ovation.
The curtains closed and the theatre group applauded Artica as well.
Buster smiled. "Gotta say, Artica, that was great show." He praised. "Great job."
"I already have plans for our next show!" Artica cried.
Buster sighed. "As long as spaghetti isn't involved."
"Nope! Better! Mac and cheese!"
"No!"
That was great! Thanks!
