mary oliver, staying alive

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@tillamookburn
mary oliver, staying alive
hour 1 of shift: i love helping people and making people happy yay yay yay later today i am gonna go home and have fun and eat a tasty meal and work on my projects and
hour 6: if youu go to the store and buy groceriers you are a piece of shit
hour 8: if i wad 1 apples tall i could live off of one apple for a week... oh but it would rot away... no.... i hate the rot i hate the apple
simon and garfunkel songs are so funny actually. they’ll be like the sun is shining, kids are playing, bees are drifting among the flowers, the clouds in the sky are wafting along, couples are holding hands, and now the sun is enveloping the earth with a mushroom cloud of death. there is only hellish heat and flame. then everything is dark and black and all that’s left are cries of pain :) all sung with gentle harmonies and a soft acoustic guitar
simon and garfunkel will be like “i held up and robbed a hard liquor store.” so true bestie. tell me when did you do that
Heath Ledger in promo for A Knight’s Tale (2001)
the wisdom ive learnt is that becoming part of a friend group 1) takes a long time and 2) involves a lot of feeling awkward and left out at first. there’s nothing terrible about this but if you grew up chronically lonely or have any kind of trauma relating to social isolation this likely feels Really Wrong and activates danger signals. but both fortunately and unfortunately it’s just how becoming close to new people works most of the time
another thing that was not intuitive to me as someone who grew up an autistic loner: basically everyone on the planet is starved for connection all the time and almost everything people do is an attempt to reach out to another. most seemingly illogical interactions and behaviours can be explained by this. you have to take as many of these invitations as you can. even if you're wrong you still attempted to bring more warmth into the world
wiki how how to stop being mean to myself and treating having needs as being shameful
she is so unbelievably real
daily affirmations
i can ball
i am cool
bitches love me
i can cook mad RPF
the slowly blooming darkness in my heart is not real and is not bothering me
it's okay to be not okay
invited this girl i went on one date with last year and reconnected with recently as friends (maybe more?) to go dancing with me and my friends the other night and i couldn’t make eye contact the whole night is there a pill for that or am i irrevocably doomed to be a useless lesbian (boy)
Sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them. Otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want. You literally have to view your biggest fears and attack them head on. You have to fall into the abyss to find your way out. The easy path does not exist. There is no get out of jail free card. You have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be. And you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you. It’s horrible but it’s truly the only way.
I am a nintendog and you are a tennis ball
i do feel somewhat ruined forever. but it’s okay we stay silly
Ngl downplaying your needs and wants into oblivion is an easy way to farm people who only want you to be a mannequin with preprogrammed responses built in
me and u both ouppy