☆ star hearted boy ;

[tillending2]

how do I know how to make this stop? when the world keeps spinnin' and I want to get off

priv. headcanon influenced till of alien stage. spotty activity. lil selective.

whatever I seem, I was never as tough I was never as clean as you think that I was

read carrd. --- now, from the TOP ! !

[tillending]

if you see this and the other blog followed you then this one it's because i got shadowbanned on the first for reasons unknown, this is the new one sorry for the issues!! will make new pinned once this isn't as relevant

[tillending]

you miss it, don't you? the warmth of a star you can no longer REMEMBER.

priv. sel. rp blog for till from alnst. written by simba.

[tillending]

LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN: plot call! give this a like and i will pop in your dms to torment you i mean plot a fun rp time

[tillending]

listen idk if i ever intimidate anyone but if i do then i want you to know that i am essentially just merlin from sword in the stone. weird, old, gay, and full of shenanigans, whimsy, and mischief. i have been belting musicals and my till playlist all shift in my car today

[cryptinspo]

𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗠𝗜𝗘𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗣𝗧𝗦 !

❝ Don’t look at me like that. ❞

❝ You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you? ❞

❝ One day, your arrogance is going to be your undoing. ❞

❝ Try me, I dare you. ❞

❝ I hate that I can’t stop thinking about you. ❞

❝ Stay away… or come closer. ❞

❝ You’re trouble, wrapped in a smile. ❞

❝ Careful. I bite. ❞

❝ You make me want to break my own rules. ❞

❝ Keep talking. I might actually like it. ❞

❝ I’m warning you… this doesn’t end well. ❞

❝ You’re like poison I can’t quit. ❞

❝ If you walk away now, don’t expect me to follow. ❞

❝ That was a mistake… and you loved it. ❞

❝ You’re insufferable, and yet… irresistible. ❞

❝ One day, you’ll regret underestimating me. ❞

❝ This is war… and you’re on the losing side. ❞

❝ You look way too smug right now. ❞

❝ Don’t flatter yourself; I’m not impressed. ❞

❝ You’re dangerous. And I want it. ❞

❝ Don’t think I won’t remember this. ❞

❝ I can’t tell if I hate you… or need you. ❞

❝ You make chaos look like art. ❞

❝ Keep pushing, and see what happens. ❞

❝ I’ve survived worse… but maybe not you. ❞

❝ You think you can break me? Cute. ❞

❝ One day, I’ll get the better of you. ❞

❝ Stop smiling at me like that. ❞

❝ I shouldn’t want this… but I do. ❞

❝ Every time you walk away, I ache. ❞

❝ You’re trouble, and I’m addicted. ❞

❝ Don’t pretend this doesn’t excite you. ❞

❝ One wrong word… and it’s over. ❞

❝ You like seeing me lose, don’t you? ❞

❝ I can’t tell if this is a game… or real. ❞

❝ Stop tempting me. ❞

❝ You’ll pay for this… eventually. ❞

❝ I’m not scared of you. Not yet. ❞

❝ If we survive this, I’ll never forgive you. ❞

❝ Don’t think I won’t hold it against you forever. ❞

❝ You’re infuriatingly irresistible. ❞

❝ Watch your step… or don’t. ❞

❝ You’ve got a death wish, don’t you? ❞

❝ I hate how easily you get under my skin. ❞

❝ Try walking away now. I dare you. ❞

❝ I shouldn’t care… but I do. ❞

❝ You think you can play with fire? ❞

❝ This tension between us is unbearable. ❞

❝ You’re going to be the end of me. ❞

❝ Don’t test me… unless you want to lose. ❞

[fatealtered]

◡◡  。긴  시간을  너와  .ᐟ.ᐟ    ✦.❛  𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍 ❜  𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌. Perhaps some small, surviving piece of Till understood that doing so would make him real. Ivan had been watching him long before Till’s failing eye managed to drag his shape from the dark. He existed first in the furthest reaches of the man's  vision — a blemish  upon the world till maneuvered, tall and too still to belong among the broken architecture. Whenever Till attempted to look directly at him, there was nothing but buckled metal and shadows trembling beneath distant gunfire. Yet the moment his gaze slipped, Ivan returned. Sometimes he stood untouched, dressed precisely as memory preferred him: pale face composed, black hair swept neatly across his brow with the occasional loose strands that fell over obsidian pools. the very same ruby flecked hues fixed upon Till with that unbearable, 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Other times, death remembered itself.

Blood spilled from Ivan’s mouth, painting his chin and throat in wet ribbons, the smile that took over his expression and the fatal wounds upon his body. The bullets  that had torn through Ivan’s shoulder &&  torso had left a crater of mangled flesh beneath his collarbone, the wound split wide enough to expose pale splinters of shattered tissue whenever he moved.. . though Something stirred within it. At first, it resembled the twitching of damaged muscle — small, involuntary contractions beneath the damaged flesh — but then the movements became purposeful. Thin, segmented shapes crawled through the cavity in rippling lines, vanishing beneath strips of flesh only to emerge elsewhere, their countless needle-like legs clicking softly against the skins surface. They looked like 𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐬 nesting inside him, slick bodies glistening beneath the blood, although none possessed a clear head or tail. Eyes blinked within those obsidian depths. Hundreds of them. All trained upon Till. 

Ivan could feel the silver haired male resist him. Even half-conscious  he remained stubborn enough to threaten a .❛  ghost ❜ . A smile pulled across Ivan’s lips. You couldn’t bite me properly when I was alive. The words never crossed to reach his ears. They entered Till as a foreign thought, sliding beneath his skull in the same voice. Till’s body flinched where it lay wedged between fractured concrete, and Ivan crouched beside him. Till looked terrible. the growing heaviness in Till’s thoughts—that quiet, treacherous surrender.  Ivan’s hand descended upon Till’s back.

It should have passed through him. Hallucinations did not possess weight, nor warmth capable of pressing between trembling shoulder blades. Yet Till’s clothing dipped beneath Ivan’s palm. The touch was unnaturally cold at first . Then it became heavier. Firmer. Five long fingers spread across Till’s back, anchoring him to his own body while something beneath Ivan’s skin writhed and rearranged itself., another palm curled just above his ribs as if seeking the beating organ of his heart, It should have been cold.  Instead, Ivan’s hand was painfully warm.  avoiding nothing — feeling every tremor, every shallow breath, every desperate movement of ribs that threatened to grind against themselves. Ivan leaned close until his forehead nearly rested against the back of Till’s head.

    ❛ ❛  Keep going. . .  ❜  ❜  His voice did not enter through Till’s hearing. It arrived inside his skull, low & reverberating as if the words dragged themselves across Till’s thoughts. It carried no edge, no taunt, no useless I told you so. Only a command laced in desperation . . almost.  but even within the enclosed rot of Till’s mind, the words were dissolving. Ivan could feel them losing their shape. For one terrible moment, 𝐈𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭.

He wanted to wrap himself around Till and hide him inside that vast, lightless thing he had become. There, nothing could reach him. No Segyein hands. No more listening to orders. no more fighting for survival. . .  Ivan could keep him beneath a sky with no stars, suspended forever in the soft cavity between death and memory, where Till would never have to hurt again. . . . but not yet.  Ivan’s fingers pressed harder, almost painful, forcing awareness through the fog.    ❛ ❛ Move your hand. Push yourself up. you wanted them to pay,❜  ❜  he murmured against the crown of his head.  One small fang showed beneath his upper lip, a grotesquely familiar detail preserved within the entity.     ❛ ❛ So live long enough to collect.❜  ❜  His palm slid once along Till’s back, a slow, grounding pressure rather than a caress. Beneath it, Till’s heart continued its frantic rhythm. Ivan counted every beat as if each belonged to him.    ❛ ❛  Up , , , Till. ❜  ❜   For a fleeting moment, Ivan appeared exactly as he had in death—ruined, blood-soaked, eyes emptied of everything but Till.

     ❛ ❛   I didn’t die so you could follow me. ❜  ❜ 

[tillending]

Ivan's voice echoes around Till's skull like a ricocheting bullet and it hurts his head with how rings. His thoughts are still chest hurt with pound of his heart as the press of Ivan's hand shocks him enough to snap his eyes back open with a pained little gasp as he heaves a little for breath and to not let the nausea hitting him win out. He stares at Ivan, the image of someone he learned far too late just how important to him he was, and what the Segyein had made of him. It's enough to make his veins feel hot.

He's not lost enough blood to die from it, but it is enough to make him feel unsteady as he grits his teeth. "You're such a pain in my ass." His thoughts pull themselves out of the muck his aching head has become to reply to whatever piece of Ivan has latched onto him so deeply. The lurch his body does to hack onto the ground before his boots is something Till has to take advantage of to get up, ground unsteady beneath his feet. He doesn't pay attention to the taste of bile on his tongue, it tastes like the regret he's used to swallowing every night.

Even if he's complaining about Ivan's presence, he finds comfort in it. A morbid comfort for sure when the thing haunting him is disconcerting and unhinged and yet --- Till ends up using the support offered to get up, to make a wobbly push for his bike hidden away and his best ticket out of here. "Don't act like you'd be so sad to see me again." Till taunts because it's helping him move, helping him keep his thoughts at least moving despite the sludge they would rather be.

It's a struggle to get to the bike, let alone drive it, but at least if he crashes that'll be his own fault. His death won't be Segyein constructed. Which is something he wonders if Ivan was able to escape by choosing to die in Till's place. Practically throwing himself onto the body of the bike almost makes him sick with nausea --- but that's where he has to stop, breath wheezing out of him. He really did bite off more than he could chew with his target this time and he's going to be regretting it for far longer than he likes.

If he can just really get moving...

[lifemourns]

@tillending said: ‘you said you needed a new one so i got it for you.’ - college au specifically i figure?? for sua

sua isn't expecting this; she had mentioned that she needed a new bottle of tylenol in passing while she was digging through her purse one afternoon. she takes the new bottle and smiles. little does he know that she's actually dealing with a small headache at the moment, so this came at the perfect time and till isn't even that aware.

" hey, thanks, till ! i actually needed these. you are a godsend. "

[tillending]

"Glad I could help." Till wasn't the best at saying how he felt. At least not with words outright, but he tried to at least show it in other ways. Like paying attention to things his friends needed but might not have the time to get. "Can't have you going without. If you need me to get you anything else, don't hesitate to say." Even if she didn't, he tried to pay attention. That was what was important.

[tillending]

❛  can i tell you how pretty you look?  ❜ let yuta admire till .ᐟ.ᐟ

fluffy.

There's a pause and Till can feel heat coming to his cheeks, but he has to blink and look down at what he's wearing. Then also behind him and back at Yuta. He wasn't expecting that. Sure, he's been complimented before, but this is a new one even if for most being called 'pretty' doesn't seem that rare a compliment. "Uh --- thanks? Just making sure, though, you don't need glasses or anything, right?" Other compliments Till had been able to take, but something about being called pretty was flattering, sure, it was just also so, so strange for him. It wasn't like he gave off a pretty vibe as far as he was aware. More like he was going to bite somebody so this was... weird.

[dvoyd]

“there was a boy who always seemed to be smiling, until he wasn’t. there was a boy who always seemed full of light, until he wasn’t. there was a boy who always seemed gentle and kind, until he wasn’t. there was a boy who always seemed to be at your side, until he wasn’t. there was a boy, there was a boy, — until there wasn’t.”

— until there was something else.  //  m.a.w

[tillending]

❛  you can keep my heart. i wasn't using it anyway.  ❜

fluffy.

The words have him nearly choking on air, Till's own thoughts grinding to a halt and his face blooms into vivid color. He shifts to shove Ivan to the side from where they're sitting, but it's not as hard as it used to be when he was younger. There's a tangle of something that aches in his chest that Till hasn't been able to decipher yet. Something that has haunted him for so long now. "Don't say shit like that --" Till throws his hands around a might too fast to get his point across, but as he looks at Ivan the tension in his shoulders drops and he ends up exhaling a hard breath. Then, he flops forward until his forehead rests on Ivan's bicep and then his own arms end up around Ivan like the words mean he needs to comfort him. He still doesn't quite grasp the emotions that roll through him now with Ivan, but he hates when the man sounds like he thinks of himself as something else. Even with this. Till is shit at getting it across, though, so he can only do what he can do. And this is much of it.

[tillending]

get to know the mun!

nicknames: simba/sims/simsby

zodiac: cusp something

last movie i saw: gone girl, i think

last thing i googled: the name of the doctor strange movie LMAO

favorite musician: i listen to a bit of everything usually so picking is HARD so i'm opting out of this one --

song stuck in my head: DON'T YOU SEE ME TRYING? - erin lecount (the till coding i get from this song makes me feral)

other blogs: just my personal which i recently remade and post edits and shit which i will share... someday maybe

do i get asks?: GIVE TO ME

following: 35 or so i think atm this blog is baby

amount of sleep: ha. good one

lucky number: 9!!

what i'm wearing: unus annus shirt and pink pj pants i have duality

dream job: claws at my bars lemme wriiiiiite

dream trip: provided i'd be given time to recover and accommodated properly i've always lowkey wanted to do a road trip

play any instruments: no but i was in choir and theatre so i think you can do that math

languages: english and some sign (ASL), learning is slow tho

favorite songs: anything that lets me daydream stories and characters really it just depends on the day

random fact: i am ridiculously into foxes, specifically fennec foxes

describe yourself as aesthetic things: old books on a shelf, scattered papers on a desk, fresh clovers just grown, shooting stars seen through car windows, warm drink in a big mug in cold hands, blankets worn soft from use, a cat purring in your lap

tagged by: @infernamutt

tagging: @sangsorrow , @starchiko , @fatealtered , @oathstruck but only if you all wanna

[tillending]

[ pay ] sender pays for receiver's shopping / food / sua

kindness.

There's a flustered look on Till's face when Sua covers his bill on top of hers. Less so because of any weird need to pay, but more because it always makes him feel happy in a way he's not really good at expressing when a friend does nice things for him. Frankly, Till is also caught mid motion and has to adapt to shove his wallet back in his pants before it seems weird.

"Uh --- thanks. I'll treat you next time." Because how else does he work with the warm platonic affection in his chest? He has to rub at his own face with his sleeves to try and smother the way he knows his face is going a pink, too. Shit.

[sangsorrow]

there isn't much else left to do other than bide his time, and hope for the best. as far as ivan is concerned, his fate is sealed, but he still wants to give it his all. if he must one day perform on the same stage as till, he'd like to be able to keep up with the musical prodigy.

ivan has never deluded himself into being better than them. but, maybe, he could at least be decent.

he's on his way to the music room where the acoustics are the best, provided lyric sheets tucked under his arm. normally, he's concerningly attuned to till's presence. this isn't the case when said presence is so suddenly sprung onto him; his back hits the wall, and the papers he was carrying scatter. that alone upsets him more than it probably should— the sudden chaos to his order. the way he'll need to rearrange the pages again as they're meant to be.

he forgets all of that when his eyes meet till's. they're too pretty; he no longer has the time to worry about his messed up music sheets. his own hands are raised in a gesture of surrender, mostly on instinct, but otherwise ivan remains unmoving, staring till down. scoffs a little when till finally voices their demand.

“ just like that? no foreplay, nothing? last i checked, you didn't even want to try touching lips with me. ” no, he's not letting that one go.

[tillending]

There's a tick in Till's jaw as he grinds his teeth together. Of course Ivan can't make this easy for him, of course Ivan has to be an asshole and make it worse. What Till hates even more about this is that it doesn't drive him away. It should, though. It really fucking should, but instead he just ends up grabbing Ivan by the front of his shirt and shaking him a little too harshly. "Don't start your shit with me. Not like you were so opposed to anything else ---" Their voice snaps, annoyed, maybe even a tiny bit hurt by it. Till doesn't have experience with how everything is bubbling in his chest right now and all it is managing to do is make him more and more annoyed. "If you won't then I'll just find someone else anyway." Even if the words are spit out of his mouth like barbs, it is a completely empty threat. Till wouldn't and he won't. It's likely that they even couldn't. It doesn't stop him from snapping them with heat and meaning besides. Everything is wrong, everything sucks, and Ivan won't cooperate for just once in his life ---

[tillending]

@fatealtered // going crazy (again)

Till's head throbs and he can't see out of one of his eyes from the blood running into it. He had always known doing this would get him hurt and eventually kill him. It doesn't mean he's pleased about it, ribs aching with every breath and his tongue still tasting of anger still not fully put to use. After all they did, he wants more of them to pay, the ones he's managed aren't enough. The ground spins beneath him where he's hidden so that he won't be one shot dead. If he doesn't move soon, though, he knows he will be found. Ivan is coming into view again as the blurriness clears slightly from Till's one open eye. Don't say shit. Is all he tells him, though Till's lips don't move, his shreded vocal chords don't make a sound. He can't make any sound anyway. He's too tired to deal with it right now, but maybe that's why Ivan is bothering him. Till knows he needs to move, but fuck he thinks he might have a concussion. If so, it's going to be a bitch to both deal with and get free of where they've wedged themself. If the last thing I hear you say is something stupid like I told you so, I'm biting you. Till manages to snap, though again it's with no sound and the words in his head feel wobbly around the edges, like the thoughts are hard to hold onto. Slippery... water... dull...

[tillending]

till's religion being 'god's sin outnumber his own' lives rent free in my head. till confirmed that guy who would say that if god exists he has a lot to answer for and i will make him answer

[tillending]

love putting till in situations. putting him under a microscrope and studying him. shaking him in a jar. putting him through horrors and stitching him back together on the other side ---

[tillending]

[ ride ] sender offers receiver a ride home / hyuna ?

kindness.

Till is a bit jealous. He can admit that to himself. Hyuna's motorcycle is cool as hell. He just has no idea how to drive one.. he should learn. Asking her to teach him though is an embarrassing thought. Frankly, asking anyone to teach them something that could and probably will end with Ivan on their ass is an embarrassing ask. "Honestly a ride would be awesome -- You got a spare helmet? Walking home would suck ass in this heat." Yeah, sure that'll work. Maybe he can figure out how to ask later.