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@tillwesmellthesea
TW
stop scrolling
stop
don't go further down
I said no scrolling
Okay, seems like you're fucked up too. This page contains my thoughts, so it's about my eating disorder.
I don't wanna trigger anyone so please go seek help to get out of this.
But it helps me to kinda rant about it.
It's 1am and I'm laying awake, because my stomach is growling for food, my mind fantasizing about the food I could have tomorrow, no train of thought wasted on sleep
My friend wants me to go to the gym with her, I kinda like the idea, it's gonna help my weight-loss. But I know people there, maybe I should go alone to a town where nobody knows my name?
It's just I'm still overweight and already feel people making fun of me, but if the don't know me, there'll be no consequences, right?
Just been on my way to the kitchen to get food, remembered skinny and back to the water in my room
Sure, all of this losing weight thing sounds nice.
Until it's 2am and you can't sleep of guilt.
Until it's 2am and and you can't sleep because you've eaten too much that day.
Until it's 2am and you're making yourself throw up.
I hate Christmas, being asked if I've lost weight and my relatives still asking after three nos if I have and how I've done it.
Maybe just get it, I don't wanna talk about it.
Supersize vs superskinny:
- showing the health risks of obesity
me "omg, food is so dangerous"
- showing the health risks of anorexia
me "yeah, but at least they're skinny, lamo"
Pls tell me I'm not the only one obsessed with this song
"I love wearing dresses, makes my hips disappear"
*dress has no pockets so cannot take her phone everywhere to count steps*
"I hate wearing dresses"
Can you actually see the weight I gained or is it just my body dysmorphia?
I just wished I could stop eating
Tried dating, I felt so insecure, so ugly, so fat and everything he said felt like a lie, how could anybody see anything positive, anything beautiful about the person I am?
Note me being on ed Tumblr after binging for a week, trying to get in the ed mood for next week.
I did gain weight from vacation, but I don't mind, I just feel numb. A failure as I'm still at this weight
I've been on holiday for two weeks now. Sometimes eating everything in reach, other days only having a sandwich and Cider.
So there are only two outcomes, either I'll have gained 5kg, or lost them, gonna know tomorrow.
Before of all this I never noticed my bones. Now I try to feel them when laying down. I search for them in my reflection.