death is not an exit

a 27yo girl with tons of mental diseases, lots of love and passion for writing, taking photos, reading and listening to music.

[lenok-vandyker]

[rocedmed]

[bunneeboi]

[pxrallax]

v.ings

[turnnoffyourmind]

Pink sunset

Lago Vichuquén, Curico, El Maule, Chile.

[gabortob43]

Az egyik legjobb dolog, ami ebben az évben történt, hogy rájöttem, hogy a gyógyulás nem a felejtésről szól, hanem arról, hogy már nem kell nekem az, ami összetört.

[time-is-standing]

ha valaki feltalálná a foodorát csak dohányboltokba, kifizetném a világ összes pénzét neki az tuti.

[90-slifestyle-deactivated202604]

[wolfblackwhiskey]

[heylsgowt]

[theyneverfoundthebody-deactivat]

[time-is-standing]

darabokra szaggat a hiányod

[alanjamesart]

timestack as smoke rolls in

[qvotext]

[time-is-standing]

there hasn't been a concert where i didn't cry lately. at least until Alec Benjamin's one last weekend.

i've been listening to Alec's songs ever since 2019 and I like to brag about it. I've seen him in 2023 as well, but this concert was different.

I've been on my meds for almost 4 months now and there is such a huge difference in my life. i don't know how it all happened, but the worst things - being in a shitty relationship & deciding to end it, losing my job, losing my apartment and getting the ocd diagnosis - changed everything for the better.

i was standing there, enjoying myself, dancing around, singing songs not really feeling any anxiety. it felt like a place i belong to.

although i almost started crying when paper crown started playing.

last time i saw Alec, i had to buy vip tickets because i couldn't stand the thought of being crammed in the crowd. i clearly remember that the last song he played was paper crown and only a couple of us sang it.

that was a moment that changed loads of things in me. i stood up and started singing as loudly as i could hoping that Alec might hear that there are people who know his demos and have loved him for such a long time, supporting everything he does. and even though i didn't realise, that moment changed me for forever.

ever since that song, i've been choosing myself, standing up not only when i saw that others needed my support and love but when i myself were in need. it was a subtle change, it didn't happen overnight.

"and there’s no one to love you when you build your walls too high"

i hated myself, i was constantly battling myself. today, i'm proud of the person i choose to be and love myself to the best of my abilities. and this boy played a huge part i this process. i am really thankful that i found his music on youtube back in the day.🤍

[time-is-standing]

[bnmxfld]

After years of waiting, nothing came.

Radiohead