&, 𝐎𝐇, 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐑 still haunted her. every time she closed her eyes a different would replay, never allowing her to 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 it. the curse of a long life or the curse of being a witch, both of which had contributed to the trauma that she held, that they all held in one way or another. & walking the road, it had only brought it further to the forefront . . . all that she attempted to 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 only threatening to resurface the longer that they were down here. ( the hallucinations, the oven, the flooding, the fire — all reminders of the people she'd lost. ) & despite it all, the nightmares, the memories, the horror — she wouldn't 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 herself to forget, because forgetting meant losing them all over again & she didn't believe she could bear it twice.
agatha's reaction, however, surprised her, expecting a smart remark in response, but just as she'd seen after her 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, the other witch did appear to have a softer side. one that she wasn't prepared for other people to see, kept it hidden because bearing it for the world to see would make her far too 𝐕𝐔𝐋𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄. maybe they were similar in that regard.
❛ sometimes the horror is all we've ever had, all we've ever known, ❜ the divination witch murmured, flames flickering, illuminating her dark gaze as she turned her head toward the other. & she knew agatha had suffered — 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐒𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 ‚ heartbreak . . . sorrow & grief. she'd seen it in the moment teen had lay there nearing death, maybe she was one of the very few who'd ever seen it. she didn't know & she wasn't going to push, for that kind of 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧 is rarely something to be pressed upon without permission & contrary to belief, lilia didn't dislike the other witch, she was merely wary of her.
her surprise now, however, was evidently written atop her features, at the glimpse of the person beneath the façade the purple witch presented to the world. but despite her affirmation, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓 was always something lilia would hold close to her chest. she'd survived, she was living, she was still here & they weren't. they'd died, they'd been hunted, whether by disease or by the uneducated, the prejudiced & the 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐃. & she'd come close, but she'd evaded death so often that she felt she knew her personally. & all she wanted to ask is why she'd spared her so often, why was she left alive to feel this guilt, this pain ? what was it all for ?
❛ you don't feel guilt for any of it ? ❜ came her question, gaze never once leaving agatha's own, truly feeling this was the first time the other had, had the opportunity to be 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓 in a long time. ❛ for being here when they aren't ? for livng the life they could have had ? ❜ & maybe in truth, this was the first time in just as long that she, too, was being honest, at least with herself.