To my SIster
I plan on sending the link to this post to you...This isnt a place that everyone knows about or anything like that..but I need to get this off my chest. One thing I have always ever wanted was my sister in my life... because you hated my mom you never wanted that (yet you would still to this day use her cookie recipe at Christmas). Lack of family around hurts... but you refusing to be a part of my life hurts more. You are the one main reason i hate the term brother because my own sister doesnt want me as one it seems, and refuse to let me be placed in that term anymore. I reached out at Davids funeral and you refused cause you thought someone else put me up to it. I reach out after dad died, and you have others question me as to why...when I just wanted family around. You have made it easy for me to be manipulated with the tease of a family. You walked away from me for reasons you invented yourself... that i was "talking about you to my friends and thats the reason they removed you". You never wanted to consider the fact that they removed you cause they never really talked to you... YOU removed me because of "Facebook". When I once never did. I went thru everything I needed to...kept my life going... YOU hated I worked at the bar cause you thought I would be like my dad... I STILL to this day never drink...and always chose to...because of what I DID grow up with. I even got in a few different relationships instead of waiting for Tessa... even one with a woman that had 2 great daughters I considered them my kids too...and even led to me being a cat dad too. Ive been back to Branson...went to Vegas...went on a cruise... I have lived life despite you wishing I fail or just thinking thats all I would do is fail. I struggle so much but i STILL Keep going... The irony of everything is that...I roughly have 10 years left to live. I am dealing with Liver Fibrosis on the verge of Cirrosis. Not from drinking...but just other health issues... and no Im not asking for a liver or anything from you or anyone..as I have told myself that I wouldnt put myself thru transplants or anything...nor would I ask... I just want nothing more than my sister to want to be a part of my life for however much I have left. You had given me alot...then took everything and then some from me... it took me forever to enjoy holidays..since you left me with no where to celebrate. Shannon of all people had welcomed me to her family's place for holidays off and on...even her husband now respects me. i would love to beg you to not leave me without family during this time... but i wont...I wont beg for something that should be done naturally. This is the only time Im going to talk about this... unless we sat and talked together...or that you want to. I cant be hurt anymore... and refuse to be. the ball is in your court...but it is what it is.
