Heaven-seated, undefeated, highest of names
For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world but that the world through Him might be saved John 3:17
The name of a man that I have been familiar with ever since I was young is Jesus. He is a man with numerous titles: Prince of Peace, Son of God, Son of Man, Emmanuel, Messiah, Bridegroom, Bread of life, Good Shepherd, Lamb of God, True Vine, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Alpha and Omega, the Way, Truth and Life to name a few. I know Him and have heard His name almost all the time. From our house, neighborhood, school, market, grocery, mall, and of course, in churches, Jesus’ name is the name I heard about all the time; He is everywhere. I guess I have learned His name first before I even know the names of my parents or relatives or even my own full government name. Jesus’ name has been a part of my life ever since I was young although I gotta admit that hearing His name is not always because it is being used to praise Him but more of an expression by some. Nonetheless, Jesus has always been a man I am familiar with. As a kid who grew up in a dominantly Catholic society, my first encounter with Jesus is seeing the crucifixion in the Church. And then, I studied in Catholic schools so there is always one subject we are required to take that is dedicated to studying His teachings, especially the parables. As a kid, those stories were fun to me. Those stories are wholesome and filled with lessons. Then as I grew older and gained more life experiences, Jesus became not just a character from the book but someone whom I started forming a relationship with. I developed my faith. Then comes tragedy after tragedy in life that ended up with me running away from Him; like the prodigal son who left his father’s home because I simply know better. What was once a relationship with God through His son Jesus became just a memory from the past as I live my life on my own terms. And then, like the shepherd who left the 99 sheep to find the one lost sheep, Jesus found me at my lowest low. No, I did not find God in Church, He found me at home when my life has lost all its meaning and purpose. It’s as if I was rescued after years of living inside a cave.
The last quarter of 2023 came with an unexpected plot twist as I discovered this show called “The Chosen” The show became a way for me to come home to God. Long story short, the show helped me find my way back to God and I even bought my own Bible as a Christmas gift to myself. I started my 2024 reading the Bible in a “chronological” order which is something I have never done before. Actually, I feel like I only ever read the New Testament and just know some stories from the Old Testament. Anyway, re-reading the New Testament feels different this time. For now I am reading it for the purpose of getting to know Jesus more instead of it being just a school requirement. The Jesus that I read here is the kind of Jesus that makes you feel at home instead of intimidated and scared. Jesus is truly the way, the truth and the life. I never imagined my relationship with God would ever be fixed if it were not for Jesus. It is through Him that I realized that no one is ever truly far from God or too damaged to be redeemed. After all, He came to this world to bring salvation. He showed us what a real relationship with God is.
The New Testament has 27 books and I would love to discuss all of them but for this blogpost alone, I will only focus on the four books of gospel. I will be sharing some of my reflection through 7 topics:
Fishers of Men (Matthew 4:19, Matthew 9:13, Mark 1:17, Luke 5:8, John 1:35-51)
One of the earliest images/photos of Jesus that I know of was the painting of The Last Supper by Leonardo Da Vinci. In most FIlipino households, that painting is usually displayed at the dining table (up until now, I really do not know why). What makes this painting fascinating to me is the kind of people Jesus was dining with. The painting showed the artist’s own interpretation of the Last Supper which is a significant event in Jesus’s earthly ministry. I have noticed the 12 men or the apostles as they are called and it made me wonder why among all the humans on the planet, Jesus chose those 12 men. Another question I have is why did Jesus even have apostles when He is more than capable of doing things on His own? In schools, there is a ranking system in which the top students who have the highest grades get awards or recognitions. In pageants, there is top 15, top 10, top 3. In the Olympics, the best three athletes get awarded with gold, silver, and bronze. But with Jesus, his chosen 12 are not the best or the most popular among the lot . His chosen 12 were simple human beings - four of them are fishermen, one is a tax collector, and another one is a zealot.
I raised two questions in the beginning of this topic, and I found the answer to the 2nd one while re-watching The Chosen: Of course, if God wanted to, Jesus can do it alone because He is the Son of God after all. But in choosing the 12 apostles, God is telling us that we are being invited to participate in His kingdom. This is a touching way of telling us that we all have a purpose and such is what I needed to hear especially in times when I feel empty and worthless. With Jesus choosing men from different walks of life is an assurance that everyone is welcome in the Kingdom of God. Come as you are, as the famous saying goes. However, deciding to follow Jesus does not stop there. Like what Jesus said, “Go and sin no more” When we come home to God, we must also surrender our old lives and take up the cross and follow Jesus. Just like how Peter, Andrew, James and John left their jobs as fishermen and followed Jesus. Or, the best example is Matthew the tax collector. He is already living well by having a secured job but when Jesus called him, he left that life behind and entered the life of discipleship. If we look at this in the perspective of today’s generation, it can be difficult to comprehend. But the apostles proved and gave meaning to the words surrender and faith. Those are the very words I also find difficult to live by. And I guess, I found my answer to the first question - God does not call the qualified, but He qualifies the called.
In Matthew 11:2-6, John the Baptist sent his followers to Jesus to ask “Are you the One who is to come or should we wait for someone else?” in which Jesus replied with “Go tell John what you hear and see: the blind can see, the crippled can walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who does not take offense at me” When Jesus was doing His earthly ministry, he had done many things, signs and miracles, which have shown that He is the Son of God. He is the “physician” who came to heal the sick. There were many signs and miracles stated in the New Testament but I will only be discussing some of them:
Calming the storm (Matthew 8:23-27)
This is one of my favorite Jesus miracles from the bible because it was short and simple but also direct in showing us that Jesus is both 100% human and 100% divine. Jesus was sleeping in the boat when they encountered a storm at the sea. The disciples were scared so they woke him up. Jesus told the storm to “be still” and nature obeyed Him. This short story showed how Jesus is truly the Son of God for even nature obeys Him. I saw myself in the disciples for I am like that most of the time - in constant fear and panic that I almost forgot that I have Jesus in my life and if I only allow my faith to be bigger than my fears then I should always remember that my God can calm even the strongest storms.
2. Healing the bleeding woman (Mark 5:25-34)
This is one of the miracles that will always make me emotional because of how much I can relate to the woman who was healed. For someone who has always been sick since I was a child, it is tiring to always be in the hospital. The amount of tests I have to undergo and the amount of medicines I have to take, my body feels exhausted and my mental health is also affected. Being sick is not just physically exhausting but also emotionally and mentally draining. And in the midst of one's battle with illness, a small sign of hope can change you. Just like the woman who has been bleeding for years and immediately found hope when she heard about Jesus, my family, especially my mother, have held onto that hope in Jesus during my sick years. I lost count of the number of “miraculous” churches we have visited and the number of novenas we have prayed for just so I can be healed every time I was admitted to the hospital. The woman who bled for years had the faith that even by just touching Jesus’ cloak she will be healed and that kind of faith she has was so strong that when she reached out to touch the cloak of Jesus, she was instantly healed. Jesus acknowledged her faith as well “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction” (Mark 5:34). This story meant a lot to me because I experienced being hopeless and felt like there is no solution anymore but when I reached out my hand to God, despite me being too far from Him for many years, He answered me. I aspire to always have a strong faith like this woman. Truly, when we feel like we are hanging by a thread, we must make sure it is at the hem of His garment.
3. Ten Lepers (Luke 17:11-19)
This miracle of Jesus showed a lesson as well, this time about gratitude. There were ten lepers who begged for healing and when they were healed, only one came back and thanked Jesus. This showed us that most of the time, the prayer of asking is louder than the prayer of thanksgiving.
I have lost count of the number of times I asked God to have mercy on me. There are times when my prayers are answered with a “no” which often made me feel bad but there are more times when I received a “yes” to my prayers and I remember how I do not always thank God for it. The thing about me is I am often ungrateful. It is just so hard to be grateful when I feel like I am not getting what I truly deserve so coming across this miracle of Jesus was a great reminder to me to always be grateful. I aspire to be like the Samaritan who took the time to come back to Jesus to thank Him. I hope that in every obstacle I overcome, I am reminded that it was not me but it was through His grace that I came through.
4. Centurion’s Servant (Matthew 8:5-13)
In catholic mass, we often utter the words from Matthew 8:8 “Lord, I am not worthy that you should come under my roof, but only say the word and my servant will be healed” before communion. I resonate a lot with the words “I am not worthy” because just like the centurion, I felt like that most of the time. In fact, one of the reasons why it took me so long to come home to God is because I felt so unworthy of Him. I have done a lot of things that make me feel like I am in no way deserving of God’s grace and mercy but then, who am I to say that? Who am I to decide that? I feel like my pride is the one that holds me back from fixing my relationship with God so the story of the centurion is a great realization for me to act with humility and recognize that God knows what is best. Another thing I admire is the centurion’s faith in believing that even if Jesus is not in his house, he can still heal the servant. Thus, “Only say the word” I aspire to have that kind of faith.
5. Jesus drives out demon (Mark 9:14-29)
Jesus, during His earthly ministry, has casted out demons a lot of times but the one I will be discussing in this blog post is when He casted out the demon from a young boy. Jesus’ ability of casting out demons is a strong indication that He is truly the son of God. Jesus casting out demons just shows that the good will always defeat evil. Another reason why I specifically included this is the verse Mark 9:24 when the boy’s father said “I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief” I relate to those words because there are times when I find myself doubting God specially in my most difficult moments. I often find myself telling/begging God to end my misery if He can. I mean, I do believe in Him, I believe that He exists and is real but sometimes I lack the faith to fully trust Him because life is just too much for me to handle. Believing is different from being faithful for the latter includes surrendering and fully allowing and trusting God that He is in control. I often find myself in conflict with my faith in God but through Jesus I am slowly learning how to overcome my unbelief and may He continue to help me work on it.
6. Paralytic from the roof (Luke 5:17-26)
This is one of the famous stories of Jesus healing because this is when He said “Your sins are forgiven” which establishes His authority to forgive sins. While this story’s focus is on Jesus forgiving the paralytic and healing him, it is also important to see how this story presented two different sets of people, the Pharisees and the friends of the paralytic. These two groups are an interesting point of discussion for they present the different views of people when it comes to Jesus, the critics and the believers. The Pharisees came to Jesus with closed hearts and are just waiting for a single move or word that they can accuse of Him while the friends of the paralytic went to Jesus with the faith that He can cure their friend. It would be such a blessing to have people in your life who will pray for you and want you to get closer to God like the friends of the paralytic.
7. Raising Lazarus (John 11:1-45)
For me, out of all the miracles Jesus has done to show His love, mercy and grace to humans, the most grand of it all is the raising of Lazarus from the dead. While it was not the first time and also not the only time He brought back life to the dead, the whole of John 11:1-45 has presented us more than the miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead. It was told that when Lazarus was severely ill, his sisters sent word to Jesus to inform Him of the situation but instead of immediately going to Bethany to heal Lazarus, he stayed where He was and waited. He came to Bethany four days later when Lazarus was already dead. Despite their grief, both Martha and Mary remained faithful and instead told Jesus that if He was there, Lazarus would have been healed. Although they are hurting, they remained strong in their faith and Jesus grieved with them. That situation showed that sometimes God allows us to experience pain and loss but He is there for us. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand why we need to experience heartbreak. I personally have my moments of getting angry at God for not intervening and just allowing the world to make me suffer. It is difficult to remain with God when you feel like you lost everything, including Him. I often forget that even in pain, God is there. Just like how Jesus grieved with and provided comfort to Martha and Mary, He is also hurting and grieving with me. Sometimes, these heartbreaks happen because God has bigger plans. For Martha and Mary, Jesus showed that resurrection is the gift that can only come from Him. He is the life that overcomes death. In John 11:25-26, Jesus tells us that physical death is of this world but being with Christ means that not even death can defeat us for He has conquered it.
Loaves and Fishes (Matthew 14:13-21, Mark 6:31-44, Luke 9:12-17, John 6:1-14)
One of the things in life that always puts me on the edge is not having assurance. I hate not knowing if a certain thing is possible. I hate being unprepared. There were countless times when I experienced being in the dead end and it always sent me to a downward spiral. Everytime I feel “cornered” by challenges, I often find myself asking this question “Have I not had enough?” But looking at it now, I realize that in all those moments of hopelessness or dead end, somehow I always manage to survive; it was as if God always provides, God always saves me. I remember the times when my salary was not enough for us to survive the month, then all of a sudden, a certain incentive was given to us. Or the time when we really need money for my sister’s school requirements then suddenly a generous relative would send money. Or the time I was so hungry but the money I have is only enough for my transportation fare and then a supervisor would randomly treat the entire office to dinner. The most recent one was when my sister and I were feeling down that we cannot attend our favorite band’s concert because we cannot afford the tickets. The day before the concert we ended up winning two VIP tickets. In the moments when I felt like the game was over, God came in clutch and saved/won the game for me. Those moments reminded me of the miracle Jesus performed which was said to be one of the only two miracles to be recorded in all four books of the gospel - The feeding of the 5,000. With only five loaves of bread and two fish, Jesus was able to feed 5,000. This miracle showed that God will always provide no matter the circumstances or the resources. But the story did not only show us that God can do the impossible thing but also showed us the humanity in His apostles, specifically Philip and Andrew. His apostles just came back from their own mission in which they were given authority to do the things Jesus can do such as healing the sick and casting out demons and yet here they are doubting the situation. When Jesus told them to not send the people away and instead feed them, Philip replied “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite” and when Andrew found a boy who offered five barley loaves and two fish he said “But how far will they go among so many?” Those two apostles' worries represent me everytime I face difficulties. Most of the time it is difficult to just leave everything in God’s hands because the human in me finds it hard to understand how one can get out of rock bottom without a solid plan. And I guess that is where I was wrong; I was looking at the situation based on the available or the limited resources I have instead of putting my faith in God and knowing that if I leave it to Him, then He will deliver. Believing in God is one thing and having faith in God is another.
Jesus has said the phrase “He who has ears to hear, let him hear” more than once in the Bible. It was usually said after he told a parable (Parable of the sower) and at first I thought it only meant “those who want to hear something will listen” but I guess it was more than that. The purpose of Jesus’ parables is to provide understanding to those who are willing to be with Him. The parables are a creative way of informing us about God’s kingdom as well as teaching us important life lessons so those who have “ears to hear” will hear God’s words or in short, those who are willing to accept Jesus as the messiah can listen to the parables and understand the message while those who have not accepted Him, cannot seek the truth as these parables will be too difficult to comprehend. When I was in elementary and studying in a Catholic school, I always looked forward to our “parable of the week” discussion because I love how Jesus tells analogy through these stories and it helped me become interested in knowing Him more. So as I was re-introducing myself to Jesus, these parables also reminded me of the past when I was so invested in knowing Jesus. These parables were a reminder that I was once a little girl who loved Jesus and trusts Him a lot. I just find it a bit saddening that right now I was far from that little girl because of the things I have experienced in my life which left me broken and traumatized. I hope that this era of rediscovering God will be a fruitful one because I do not want to be far from God again.
I loved all the parables but I will only be discussing some of them:
Workers in the vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16)
When I first encountered this parable, my initial reaction was that the owner was unfair that he paid all workers the same wage when they did not work the same amount of hours. But then, I also realized that the workers themselves agreed to the wages. What this parable showed us is God’s mercy is available to all, His love and grace is inclusive; everyone is provided the opportunity to become part of His kingdom regardless of their past which reminded me of what Jesus said that there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:10) and also when Jesus showed mercy to the repentant thief at the cross. It is easy for us to judge others, especially those with “dirty” pasts when they suddenly became “one of us.” But then, who are we to gatekeep Jesus? Who are we to decide who we want in our Church? Who are we to act unwelcoming of others? Everyone can be given mercy and forgiveness regardless of who they are or used to be because God’s love is abundant and His grace is available to all.
2. Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37)
The commandment “Love your neighbor as yourself” was a difficult one but Jesus always shows us that it can be done. As a flawed human, it is difficult to actually love my fellow humans because some people are just so difficult to deal with. I guess I’m not the only one who feels some kind of indifference towards others. Ngl, I’m a bit judgy. It’s just that it is hard to be accepting or welcoming of people who are different from you. But Jesus taught us a valuable lesson through this parable. The other people who passed by the injured man could have helped but they did not. It was only when a Samaritan passed by that the man received help. The Samaritan did not only help him with his wounds but also went the extra mile of ensuring that he had a place to stay while recovering; the Samaritan paid for the man’s lodging and even informed the innkeeper that he will pay for any extra cost once he returned. It was not the Samaritan’s duty to help the injured man, but he was compassionate enough to do so. This parable showed us that as children of God, we must aspire to be like Jesus whose love, mercy, grace and compassion is extended to all and that every person we encounter is our neighbor. The parable showed us that our prejudice towards our neighbors are making us divided which in turn makes us dismissive. We should all learn how to move past the differences and remember that we are all the same despite the differences in background, appearance, financial status, or residence. We should not be selective in showing compassion and help.
3. Counting the Cost (Luke 14:28-33)
I know I am not the only Christian who struggle with understanding what Jesus said in Matthew 16:24 when He said “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” After the life changing “coming home to God” I experienced in late 2023, I was faced with the question “What does it take to become a disciple?” and Jesus has an answer to that but it was my own mind who cannot fully comprehend what it means to take up the cross; I don’t know if I’m just not smart enough to easily understand things or it was my pride. I guess I got it wrong before, choosing to walk with Jesus does not mean you will only experience good things. Actually, I feel like the more I try to work on being closer to God, the stronger the evil forces I am dealing with because my 2024 is filled with so many challenges. But just like what Jesus said in this parable, when you intend to do something you must count the cost first. If I really want to make this relationship with God work, I should be more determined in listening and following God’s words and fully understand what it means to be a follower of Jesus. In short, surrender. If being with God means giving up the earthly desires, the desires which lead me to sins, then it means I finally understood His message. The cost of following Jesus means to fully surrender and put all of your faith in Him.
4. New Cloth and wineskin (Mark 2:21-22)
There are two points made from this short parable - first, Jesus’ new way is the right way and second, Jesus established a new covenant. This parable showed a simple analogy - you cannot put a new fabric as a way to patch up or fix an old cloth the same way that you cannot use an old wineskin when storing new wine for it will lead to ruin. It was a great analogy to inform us that the old practices or rituals can be left behind in the past for the new covenant has arrived through Jesus. Jesus emphasized that the grace of God is extended to everyone because God is graceful and merciful not because people are religiously practicing rituals. Because Jesus was sent to free us from sin, the Son of Man removed the curtain that separates God and humanity. Therefore, our focus should not be on the perfect practices of various rituals but in living a life that focuses on mercy and compassion. I relate this to the message of Jesus in Matthew 23:23 during His woes to the pharisees, which emphasizes that it is useless to religiously follow rituals when the heart is full of greed.
5. Persistent widow and crooked judge (Luke 18:2-8)
This is one of my favorite parables because Jesus’ analogy of the persistent widow’s actions with the importance of consistent prayer is simple yet effective. Often when I pray and feel like God is not responding, I tend to lose faith and just abandon what I was praying for. It was difficult for me to understand God’s timing because I was so used to living in a world filled with due dates and deadlines. It was so easy for me to make everything have a timeline. But this parable is a reminder to us about the importance of prayer and how God listens to us and He answers us - although sometimes not in the way we want Him to. The crooked judge in the parable only gave in to the widow’s request so that he cannot be bothered anymore but Jesus reminded us in Luke 18:7-8, “And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” I hope I can learn to fully trust God with my life and learn how to pray with faith - not just pray when I have time to spare.
6. Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Luke 18:10-14)
This parable is a great reminder of humility. Comparison, sometimes, is the reason why a person is either miserable or too full of themselves. One of the reasons why I stay away from the Church are the fellow church goers who feel as if they are above everyone else. It sucks being judged by those people because in a way you will feel unworthy of God because you are not like them. Tbh, those overly religious people have turned more people away from God instead of welcoming them to the church (yes, it is my religious trauma speaking). Last year, I found myself in the same position as the tax collector. I found myself being ashamed of who I am and yet I prayed to God. It was a small step but I found myself approaching God and asking for His mercy and did not bring up or dare to compare myself to others - it was just about how sorry I was for being away for so long. It was not an easy road and I still find myself a bit conflicted as I walk with God, but the fact that I found the guts to come back is just proof that God’s grace is abundant as He extended it to me.
7. Rich man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31)
I often find myself questioning God why I seem to be living a life of punishment yet people who are more horrible than me seem to be living a good life. Why are those people living comfortably? Why am I struggling to get by when I committed no crime? Those are my usual questions. But then, there comes this parable which became a reminder that earthly riches, at the end of the day, do not matter to God. It is not about the amount of money you made or the amount of properties you owned or the amount of awards you achieved that matters to God but how you lived your life and what is in your heart. If you spend your life in riches but have not done anything to help the needy and lived a Godly life, then what’s the point? This parable made me remember the verse Mark 8:36 “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” Truly, when death comes to us, we cannot bring all the riches of the world. Eternal life is only found in God.
Woe to you, Pharisees (Matthew 23)
I came across this statement while browsing through social media that says “If the Jesus you have met has not changed your life, you have not met Jesus you met religion” and it is crazy how I agreed to that. One of the reasons why I walked away from God aside from my personal struggles are the religious people. I find it ironic that these people are the ones who end up driving people away from God and the Church when they are supposed to bring people closer to God. These overly-religious people who love to see everyone’s fault but cannot see their own have driven more people away from God. It is crazy how Jesus called out the religious leaders during His time on Earth yet these so-called followers of Him in the present are doing the very same things. I, myself, have experienced interacting with these “religious people” and they can get really annoying to deal with. Most of them are my relatives by the way. It was exhausting having to deal with these people, it felt like torment. There are even cases when they decide to kick people out of the Church because of disagreements which are contradictory to what Jesus has preached. If Jesus welcomed the sick and the sinners then why are these so called christians have become more known for their hate instead of love? Hence, the saying “there is no love like Christian hate”
As I was watching The Chosen (sorry, but I will always mention this show), I came across this episode from season 4 in which Jesus confronted the pharisees; the scene was their on-screen adaptation of Matthew chapter 23 or the 7 woes of Jesus. I was unfamiliar with this event so after I watched the episode, I opened my bible and read it. This ended up being one of my favorite Jesus moments because it showed that standing up to the oppressive rule or to the authorities is something that we should not avoid especially when they are doing too much wrong. Jesus calling them blind guides was meant as a wake up call for them to realize that they are not truly doing God’s works. These same people cannot practice what they preach because they are more concerned about traditions, appearances, tithes and other earthly things while totally neglecting the more important things like justice, mercy, faithfulness and compassion. They have become exclusive instead of inclusive; instead of drawing people closer to God, they are the first ones to close the doors. Jesus was sent to this world to save it so He showed what a real relationship with God is all about and not what religion should be. I just find it disheartening that centuries later, these “christians” are very focused on “religious practices” while allowing their hearts to be filled with hate. How can one claim to be a Christian and fail to practice what Jesus has preached?
John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the bible but it is the most comforting verse for me. This verse became a source of comfort because it gave me an assurance that in my times of pain and anguish, God understood because Jesus knew the feeling of it. For someone who was used to bottling up emotions, crying has always been something I try so hard to avoid. I hate it when tears stream down my face so I learned pretty early in life to hold it in and I lived like that for years. I just do not want to confirm that I am weak hence the reluctance to cry. But coming across this verse, and knowing the context, I found a different kind of comfort. If Jesus himself who is 100% God and 100% human acknowledged grief and pain, then I should also allow myself to acknowledge my feelings. With every tear that streams down my face and every pain in the chest that I feel, it is comforting to know that Jesus understands. I also like to correlate this verse with another bible verse that I find so much comfort in which is Matthew 11:28 which says “Come to me you weary and heavy-ladened and I will give you rest”
The bread of life (John 6:35)
Jesus has said “I am” statements 7 times in the bible and one of the statements which became “controversial” is when He said in John 6:35 “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty” for it was a strong statement that He is essential and the skeptical people of His time cannot accept it. It was also stated that after His declaration of being the bread of life, many of His disciples have left. If we take this statement literally, then we will really find it difficult to understand what Jesus meant in John 6:53-56 “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them.” because that is not what Jesus meant. What he meant was unless we surrender our life to Him and let go of the earthly desires we have, then we will never be close to God. We often have this assumption that being religious means God will always reward us but that is not the case because after all, the kingdom of God is not of this world. I gotta admit I was also guilty of that assumption before. I thought that once you became a part of the church, then you start receiving abundance of blessings and miracles or in short, I made my relationship with God to be “transactional” I described it as transactional because before I made it seem like if I pray a lot or if I always attend mass then God will bless me but that is not the case. I was expecting my relationship with God to be filled with earthly things because I thought that is how it should work so it was not a surprise when I encountered a lot of heart breaks and challenges that I ended up turning away from Him. I had the nerve to get mad and tell God the words “after all the prayers I did and mass I attended, this is how you repay me?” and that was so wrong of me to do. You see, I had it all wrong before so I ran away from God like the prodigal son. But it was God’s mercy and grace that brought me back and it was through His only begotten son Jesus. The way I came home to God in late 2023 is a testament of how Jesus is truly the bread of life. My life felt so meaningless and dark during those times that I was far from God but when Jesus found me at my lowest moment, I felt alive. Now, I am slowly relearning what it means to be a follower of Christ. It was difficult at first but in fully surrendering and opening my heart to the words and teachings of Jesus, I find it to be a meaningful journey. I do not want to be ever separated from Jesus again. He is the only Way to God.
As I mentioned before, the New Testament is not foreign to me unlike the Old Testament but re-reading it now that I am older and have more experience in life (both good and bad alike), I find myself being surprised at how I got some things wrong before. It was one thing to be “faithful” to God when things in your life are doing well but it was a different kind of being “faithful” to God when things are going downward spiral and I realized and understand it now. The true meaning of faith is holding on to God’s promises and remaining in Him despite being thrown in the middle of the storm and Jesus has shown me that through Him, I can handle anything that life throws at me. Jesus is truly the Son of God who was sent to this world to save us. He has shown us signs and miracles as a way of showing us that God’s grace and mercy is available to all, He has invited us to be a part of His ministry, He has told us valuable life lessons through His parables, He has shown us what a real relationship with God should be, and He has acknowledged our pain and grieved with us. I cannot imagine life without Jesus. I hope that as a follower of Jesus, I can be an instrument of showing others that God’s mercy and grace is available to all and we are all welcome in His kingdom. I hope I can be the kind of Christian that can bring more people to God instead of pushing them away. I hope that my faith in God will always be strong. And I hope that this time I finally know what it means to fully surrender and put all my trust in Him.
PS, it took me so long to finish writing this because I have a lot of things going on in my life. This will not be the last time I will be sharing about my thoughts on the bible. I will keep on re-reading the bible and if I have the time to write, I will share my thoughts about them. I hope I can write various articles here like discussion of the books of wisdom and the letters of Paul.
