🌸For CGs/SOs/friends&family/loved ones of Littles 🌸
Age regression can be a complicated thing, and dealing with a little for the first time can be daunting, to say the least. For me, it’s easier to get these words out this way than to speak them verbally. I hope some of you find these suggestions helpful as well.
🌸Grumpy or Fussy Littles There are many reasons why littles can get fussy. For some of us, we are generally happy, but for others it can be a pretty common occurrence. No worries, there are definitely some easy tricks to help them out in this situation(without further complicating anything)
When I am grumpy, there are some common underlying reasons.
🌙We need attention THIS is the reason for most of my fussiness. It’s not uncommon for littles to need constant reassurance, affection, and entertainment while in littlespace. We get anxious and forget that you care. Many of us also have further complications such as eating disorders, PTSD, neglect and abandonment issues, mental illness etc.
Even if you can not physically be here with us, you can help! Here’s how:
Talk to them. This helps the most, but it’s not always possible and we understand this. Don’t feel bad if you can’t always be there for your little. Just remind them that you care.
Ask them where their stuffie/blankie/insert other favorite comfort item is. Suggest that they grab their comfort item and watch a movie, color, listen to music, or any other of their favorite distracting activity.
Personally, I struggle with this, but I also struggle with sleep anxiety so suggesting a nap doesn’t always work for me. However, for many littles, we simply do not sleep enough. If we are tired, we may not be aware. You’ll see signs like grumpiness, irritability, changes in mood etc. Sweetly suggest that we lay down and take a nap, or offer to lie down with us. Sometimes a movie/story/other form of entertainment helps us to fall asleep. Be careful with this one. If we are truly upset about something else, this can sound hurtful. When used appropriately, it can also be quite helpful.
Again, this can be touchy. For littles with an eating disorder, food is the source of a lot of stress and agonizing. We often need to eat but we can’t bring ourselves to A. handle the responsibility or B. do anything that would heighten our self-esteem issues(including food intake) There are certain things that are easier for me to snack on than others in littlespace. Fresh fruits and veggies, occasional candy and cute little snacks don’t bother me nearly as much. Things like kids meals and finger food are not as difficult to stomach as well if an actual meal is truly required. Find out what your little can tolerate. Suggest or offer, but don’t push. I, for one, do not like to be surprised or pressured with food. I also have a suuuper hard time going places because I fear there will be food or I will be expected to consume something. Sometimes reassurance, understanding, and support is the only solution. And Bananas. Bananas save lives, man.
🌙We are upset about something: Probe and ask questions! It’s sooo hard to communicate our feelings sometimes. Try to ask us questions until you locate the root of the problem. We probably need to talk about it. Take note of common stressors(work, responsibilities, family drama) For totally nonverbal littles & little babies, this probably isn’t the best answer. If we get fussier when you ask, or seem visibly more distressed, Talking may not help. Just ask if we want to talk. We can at least nod a “yes” or “no.”
🌙We’re upset with ourselves: We often feel guilty for regressing because so many people have made us feel dirty, like a freak or like we’re broken. This one’s pretty simple. Remind us that it is okay and it doesn’t bother you. That’s really all we need, even if we need to hear it 100 times in an hour.
🌙We are stuck in our head: Sometimes there are so many outside stressors that we can’t or won’t allow ourselves to let go and be little. This can be extremely challenging because we truly NEED to regress in order to escape some of the anxiety and racing thoughts, stress, or negativity. Make us feel small. Talk to us as you would talk to any other child. After all, that is exactly what we are in that state. It is our purest, most real form. For all of us, there are things you can say and do to trigger littlespace. Mostly common sense. Again, remind us it’s okay to be little. Help distract us with our favorite things & comfort items.
🌙We get quiet a lot. Most of the time, it’s as simple as this: Words are hard. In this case, again, probe and ask questions. Questions with a one-word answer are best until you get a handle on the issue at hand.
talk to us, read to us, fill the void, play music, or play a movie/TV show. Are you noticing a trend? Good! We’re really not too complicated most of the time.
Sit in silence with us and comfort us with sweet little kisses, pets, cuddles, etc.
For littles like me, with PTSD, this can be a bit more complex. Keep an eye out for flashbacks and disassociation.
Glazed-over look in the eyes
Hysterical crying for no apparent reason
You can’t get through to them
A general sense that their mind is in a land far, far away.
If you notice any of these signs, your little might be having a flashback or disassociating. If this is true, depending on how far away they are they may have absolutely no clue of their surroundings. They may forget you are there, forget who you are, forget their are loved and cared for, and completely lose touch with reality.
The best thing you can do in this situation is to try to remain present and strong for them. This is not something they are doing for attention. Hold and rock them, whisper to them, talk gently and keep reminding them of their present situation. Tell them your name. Tell them where you are. Tell them they’re safe. Repeat it over and over in a non-threatening way to help keep them grounded. Even if I am so far gone I don’t know what day it is, I can hear parts of what is being said and it’s extremely comforting. Just wait out the storm.
Tell us we are being ridiculous, immature, stupid, embarrassing etc.
Video tape our flashbacks or panic attacks (God, I hope I am the only one this has happened to)
Ridicule us in front of friends and family
Lose patience (sometimes you can’t help it, that’s okay)
🌙Especially with survivors of abuse and trauma, and littles on the asexuality scale. For many of us, regression is a totally non-sexual thing and puts us in a mindset that simply can not handle adult physicality. It’s too much. This is in the realm of “big thoughts.” Stressors and things we don’t want to worry about in littlespace. Even for demisexual littles or littles who are comfortable being physical in such a headspace, there will DEFINITELY be many a moment where they are not. Just be respectful and understanding.
I once had a CG who was also a sex addict and didn’t respect my boundaries AT ALL. He would whine and brood until I gave in, We have a hard time saying no in that headspace. We truly don’t want to disappoint, even if we silently allow ourselves to be miserable to keep you happy. Honestly, at that point I was so damaged already I had little to no respect for myself. There wasn’t much more damage to be done. But this can be EXTREMELY damaging(obviously.) Even when I see unsolicited messages in my inbox from NSFW blogs I get extremely uncomfortable. I hate this word because it is so heavily abused, but this would be an appropriate use of the word “triggered.” I have said it before, and I will say it again. Littlespace is not inherently a kink!
🌸You are beautiful. 🌸You are Loved. 🌸You are special. 🌸Eat something. 🌸 drink water. 🌸love yourself. 🌸Be yourself. 🌸
Have a great day little ones!
shoutout to @itsybitseybaby for inspiring this post. Much love 💖
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