Today was hard but rewarding. I have been thinking about losing weight since the new year literally every single day. I managed to eat well for the first 7 days, but then it was my birthday and ever since I just pigged out basically. My stable weight has been around 59-60 kg. Which is shocking to me because i never weighed that much before.. my family and friends tell me i look good but i can tell that im overweight. My face is puffy as fuck and my arms are big, my stomach is big and my thighs are not skinny anymore. Its sad because i deserve to feel amazing. I got my nose done and im honestly fucking beautiful but i need to lose atleast 5 kgs to be deserving of my beauty, cause right now im literally throwing it away and diminishing it to nothing. Instead of being a solid 10/10 im like a 6.5/10 right now and its so ridiculous. But anyways— today i started my day eating a yogurt, then i ate a bowl of this indian food made of veggies and then i was thinking of mcdonalds like non stop. Ive been craving mcdonalds so bad and my mom literally offered it to me… but i ended up NOT having it. I had a salad instead and im so fucking proud of myself for doing that!!! Like ok im not ecstatic right in this moment bc i lowkey feel hopeless abt actually sticking to my diet .. but when i visualize the body im gonna have in the summer if i stick to this, i get so happy. Like damn im on the right track!! Im actually becoming!! Its not tomorrow, its not after tomorrow, its right now!! And thats amazing. Later i got hungry again so i had 4 sushis and 2 clementines. I told myself if i starve im gonna eat smthg rly bad later, and i want to allow myself to eat whenever im hungry— just as long as its either a rly small portion or its smthg healthy. So it was a successful first day back on the plan, and now i need to slowly start implementing other things like working out (i wanna do the 10k steps a day but i dont have a watch or anything yet) and also drinking lots more water. Tumblr helps a lot and im glad i started this blog cause it rly helps to have something visual to look at. Anyways, write tomorrow, bye. 🤍
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