LOVE AND HEARTACHES...

No matter how many times you get hurt, never stop falling in love. And then one day you'll realize why others weren't meant for you because there is someone waiting to be your FOREVER. ♥

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Strangers Again

“Whether it’s taking each other for granted or people changing over time, the bottom line is someone’s stops trying. Feelings aren’t strong as before.”

                  Everyday it gets harder and harder. Everyday is a challenge for me. Ang hirap niyang tiisin. Ang hirap hindi magparamdam sa kanya. :( But I have to do it. I’m too tired doing all the adjustments and understandings without being appreciated. I think it’s time for him to realize my worth. And if he truly loves me, he’ll make an effort to fix things. I had given him so many chances. Chances that has been wasted. And this will be the last time that I’ll give him a chance. But this time he has to work hard for it. His patience will be tested. And this time, it won’t be that easy. And if he can’t keep up, give up! And I’ll just prioritize those people who are not only proud and glad to have me, but will also take risk and effort just to be with me. :)

  “I wonder how many times we forgive just because we don’t want to lose someone. Even if they don’t deserve forgiveness.”

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

And Everyday HER Confusion Grows

“Ang PANLILIGAW ay parang telepono na nagri-ring, kapag matagal mo sasagutin, NAWAWALA.”

“Lahat ng bagay may hangganan.”

”Lahat ng tao kaya mag-antay. May limitasyon nga lang.”

“Kapag dalawa ang mahal mo, piliin mo yung pangalawa. Kasi hindi ka naman magmamahal ng iba kung hindi mo naman talaga mahal yung una”

-Bob Ong

♪ I can still remember yesterday We were so in love in a special way

But now I feel lost Don't know what to do

Because I'm gone and left you Standin' all alone And you know you've got to face Tomorrow on your own But baby

Before I let you go I want to say I love you...

I wish that it could be Just like before

Cause letting love go is never easy But I love you so That's why I set you free I know someday, somehow I'll find a way To leave it all behind me Guess it wasn't meant to be my baby ♪

  ♪When I go would I have the guts to say

"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday"? ♪

  ♪ Let's give up the fight And embrace it Before we lose the love we've found I know you're scared to death But let's face it ♪

  ♪ Going back to get away after everything has changed Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive (Everything has changed) Do you remember that? Do you remember that? (Everything has changed)

And going back won't feel the same if I’m aren't staying

It's taking up our time I can't go back, I can't go back at all ♪

  ♪ I could go back to every laugh

But I don't wanna go there anymore

I could stand up and sing you a song

But I don't wanna have to go that far ♪

♪ I wish I could turn, turn back the hands of time But I simply can't No I simply can't

Now I'm screaming I'm shouting I can't hear a thing My eyes burn and blister I can't feel the pain I don't know why I'm here ♪

  ♪ Oh I'm scared to see the ending Why am I pretending this is nothing?

So many things that I wish you knew But the story of us might be ending soon

  I don't know what to say since a twist of fate When it all broke down And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now ♪

  ♪ If there's a problem I should work it out So why am I giving you the cold shoulder now Like I don't even wanna talk to you

I don't care babe who's right or wrong

I guess this time it really is goodbye I made it clear when I said I just don't love you no more ♪

  ♪ It's too late to start pretending It's too late for a new beginning Later than the sunset Later than the rain Later than never To love you again ♪

  ♪ Kung hindi man tayo hanggang dulo

Wag mong kalimutan

Nandito lang ako

Laging umaalalay

Hindi ako lalayo ♪

  ♪ Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain Someday we'll know why the sky is blue Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you ♪

  ♪ Is it broken? Can we work it out? I can see in your eyes You're ready to break Don't look away.

  Together we'll wonder If we will last these days If you asked me to stay Would I tell you You would be mine? ♪

  ♪ The truth is hiding in my eyes

And it’s hanging on my tongue

Well, I will figure this one out

On my own ♪

  ♪ But that's the way that it goes

And it's what nobody knows

And every day my confusion grows ♪

  ♪ Why can't we be ourselves

Like we were yesterday

I'm not sure what this could mean

I don't think you're what you seem I do admit to myself

That if I hurt someone else

Then I'll never see

Just what we're meant to be ♪

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Banat 101

Him: Cute mo sa mga upload.

Me: Hahaha! Nambola ka pa. :p

Him: Hahaha di ah

Me: Anong cute dun may pimple. Hahaha

Him: Yun nga po

Me: Haha inlove eh?

Him: Ayiiieee kanino naman

Me: Secret :p

Him: Ehhh hahaha

Me: Hulaan mo. Haha

Him: Ako? Hahaha lol jk

Me: Hahahahaha! Roses are red, violets are blue. May crush ako, ikaw ang clue. :))

Him: Weh hahaha

Me: So you’re telling me amalayer? Hahaha

Him: Hahaha no I’m not

---

Me: BER month ka ba?

Him: Tao po

Me: Ayy wag na nga. Haha

Him: Bakit nga po?

Me: Wag na matutulog na ko

Him: Ehhh sorry nap o

Me: Wala

Him: Ehhh sige???

Me: Hahaha. Eto na, kasi di lang kita mamahalin ng SEPTEMBER, OCTOBER, NOVEMBER at DECEMBER.. Mamahalin din kita forebear.

Him: Hahahaha sweet ha!!!

---

Me: McDo name mo sa contacts ko.

Him: Bakit?

Me: Kasi “Love ko ‘to” hahaha

Him: Taba talaga ng utak iha hahaha

---

Him: Oh hire me ha

Me: Hahaha. You’ll be my head chef :))

Him: Okay na kahit security guard para pati puso mo babantayan ko

Me: Yiiieee! Hahaha! Ang taba din pala ng utak mo iho. :p

Him: hahahahahaha ehh andito ka kasi lagi sa loob nito

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Defense Mechanism

                Baket kaya ganon, kahit na alam kong medyo pinagseselosan ko yung ex niya, nagagawa ko pa din siyang asarin sa kanya. Siguro defense mechanism ko lang yun. Gusto ko lang ma immune.

                Para kasi saken, kapag mas lalo kong iniiwasan, mas lalong lalala. Unlike kapag parati ko siyang inaasar sa ex niya, nasasanay ako at parang balewala na saken kahit na alam kong mahal pa din niya yun. Kahit naman sabihin niyang wala na, ramdam ko na parang meron pa rin eh. Hindi naman siguro ako manhid para hindi ko maramdaman yun. At mas lalong hindi rin naman ako tanga para hindi ko malaman yun. Well, di ko rin naman siya masisisi. Di mo naman pwede pigilan ang nararamdaman ng isang tao eh.

                “I know my boundaries.” Yan ang sabi niya saken. Sabe ko nga sa kanya “follow your heart.” Ako na nga daw ung pina follow niya. Follow up na lang daw ang kulang. Hahahaha! May tiwala naman ako sa kanya eh. And I know that he is true to his words. A promise is a promise. And I know he won’t break it. He will prove that not all promises are meant to be broken. Well, SANA nga. :)

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

A Great Pretender

                Baket kaya ang galing kong mag pretend? Talent ko ba yun? Hahaha! AMAZING! :/

                Madalas kapag may problema ako o malungkot ako, idinadaan ko na lang sa tawa at ngiti kasi hangga’t maari ayokong ipakita yung weak side ko. Ayokong nakikita nila akong malungkot o umiiyak. Pero kapag mag isa na lang ako, dun ko na lang nagagawang ilabas lahat. Lahat lahat ng sakit, lungkot, problema, inis, at galit. Kaso ang hirap lang kasi wala kang maiyakan at masabihan ng problema mo. Walang andyan para damayan ka at yakapin ka. Kaya maswerte na lang kung alam nilang nagkukunwari lang akong okay at masaya. Dun ko malalaman kung kilala talaga ako ng isang tao.

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

A Promise is A Promise

“Baka kasi iniisip mo di na kita pinapansin or baka may iba na ko eh”

“hmmm.. medyo? pero di mo naman gagawin un di ba?”

“Kahit makaalis ka pa po. :)”

“may tiwala naman ako sayo eh. :)”

“Basta pag uwi mo ha :)”

“Opo I promise”

                How many times did I doubt him? His promises? Sabe nga nila, 2 lang ang pwede mong pagselosan- ang best friend at ang ex. And I do admit that were times I get jealous to his best friends. Especially his ex. Feeling ko kasi hindi pa rin siya nakakapag move on sa ex niya. At kahit sabihin niyang wala na, alam kong meron pa rin. Na kung sakaling magkita man ulet sila, I’m sure there’s a big chance na mahalin niya ulet siya. Hindi naman imposible yun eh. Hindi naman ako manhid para hindi ko maramdaman yun. At mas lalong hindi naman ako tanga para di ko malaman yun.

                Pero sa ngayon, gusto ko na lang maniwala at magtiwala sa mga sinasabe niya. Maybe not all promises were meant to be broken. Maybe some are worth keeping, his is worth keeping but not until he proves it after my ojt. I just have to trust and believe for now. We’ll see. :)

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Unica Hija

Unica Hija- My love, my only daughter

  Him: May request ako

Me: Ano po?

Him: Palit tayo callsign

Me: Callsign?

Him: Yung chokulet. Palitan natin ng iho at iha hahhaha

Me: Why iho at iha?

Him: Kasi nag iisa ka lng para sakin

Me: Yiee! Unica Hija? :D

Him: Yeah :) dba okay naman sya?

Me: Yep. Cool :)

Him: I’m iho you’re my iha.

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Forever

                                His Status: 2012 ain't that good. :)) hello 2013 Two Thousand THIRTEEN! Twenty

THIRTEEN!!

THIRTEEN!

                                  Me: Yiee! 13 :p

Him: ayyy wehh? Hahahaha yeah 2013. :p bakit?

Me: Waley! 13 :D

Him: hahahahaah ehhh ayown. :p

Me: Anong ayon? :p

Him: hahahaha eh ikaw kelan mo ko balak bigyan ng araw sa calendar aber???

Me: Hahahahahahahahaha! Soon? Samsoon! :p

Him: di naman siguro ako aabutin ng 2014??? Soon? Hahahaha

Me: Mga 2015. Hahahaha

Him: Kahit forever pa yan. :p

                  It’s been a year simula nung “nagkakilala” ulet kami. A year of sweetness, happiness, sadness, tears, confessions, confusions, heartaches, and most of all LOVE. Nagkaroon man ng tampuhan dahil sa pag lie low niya at pagiging busy ko sa ojt, naayos pa din.

                Last month, December, it was like a Déjà vu. Para kaming bumalik sa umpisa. Parang nauulit lang ang lahat. I thought I will be welcoming 2013 with sadness again. Akala ko mababalewala na naman ako. But with those call, messages and those 3 words, 2013 was a good start for me. :)

  “I got a very happy new year chokulet. Happy new year and thank you sa lahat ng sweetness and comfort mo sakin everytime na down ako. :) thank you sa lahat promise. Magkakaron tayo ng sagot sa lahat happy new year ulit.”

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Say the Words That I Can’t Say

♪ ♫ Waiting for the final moment you say the words that I can’t say ♪ ♫

How many times did he ask me to be his official girlfriend? And how many times did he told me those 3 words?

Before, I would always wish to see a “falling star”. And hope that “falling star” would “fall” for me. There were even times that I would day dream about him, uttering those 3 words. And now, all of my wishes, hopes, and day dreams come true. But we’re just waiting for the perfect time.

  “Good things come to those who wait.

But better things come to those who is patient.”

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Ladies First

Him: Oh 11 na matulog ka na.

Me: Sige

Him: Good night. Sweet dreams

Me: Good night din. Sweet dreams. Wag ka na magpuyat ha.

Him: Opo. Matutulog na din ako mamaya. Bye.

Me: Bye bye.

Him: ...

Me: ...

Him: Good night

Me: Good night ulet

Him: Oh sige na

Me: Bye

Him: ...

Me: ...

Him: Hello? Oh baba mo na

Me: Ibaba mo na din

Him: Ikaw muna

Me: Oh baket ako?

Him: Ladies first kasi

Me: Sige sabay na lang tayo.

Him: Sige. 1

Me: 2, 3

Him: 3

Me: Ano ba yan di pa sabay. Haha

Him: Haha. Sige ulet.

Me & Him: 1, 2, 3

Call ended...

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Same Question, Same Answer

                Akala ko nagkaintindihan na kame. Mukhang hindi pala. And for the 4th time, he asked me the same question again.

---

Him: Naku pag naging tayo tlga. :D effort, time, di ako babaero. Pero di tyo magkaka problma dun.

Me: Hahaha. Siguraduhin mo yan ha

Him: Promise proven po :) Nagka relationship ako pero wala kaming png awayan sa babae na may iba ko, siguro selos meron. :)

Me: I’ll trust your words :)

Him: Not my words. :) my whole me. :) Tayo na? :)

Me: Napag usapan na natin yan. I’ll decide after my ojt in Thailand. :)

Him: Decide eh. :)

Me: Haha. Syempre it will be based on your effort. Haha. Tsaka di rin natin masasabe kung ano pa pwedeng mangyare. :)

Him: Sabagay. :D

Me: You’ll wait naman di ba? :)

Him: I can wait forever. :D

---

                Can he really wait? Is true that patience is his virtue? I hope he’ll be true to his words and not eat them. Let’s just wait and see how our story will go. :)

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

When the Love Fades

“Everything has an end. You just don’t know when..”

                On, off, on, off.. Ganyan ang relasyon niyo. Parang ilaw. Pero kagaya ng ilaw, napupundi din yan. Lahat ng tao napapagod. Lahat ng bagay may hangganan.

                People do get tired especially when the situations made them realized that it is no longer worth it to fight until the end. That of all the things you’ve done and been through, you just thought that your smooth and rough times made you stronger and more strong than ever. And with those times that would make your relationship last forever. It’s really hard but you just need a reason to let of the title both of you used to have, being “couples”.

                But there are some cases that beyond all the pains and heartaches, they still continue to hold on. Why? Maybe because of a reason that regretting is just around the corner. That they’re hoping that everything will still work out. But the question is UNTIL WHEN? Until they can finally say to themselves that “Yeah, I just gave up. Finally it’s over and I did everything so no regrets at all.” :)

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Right Time, Right Person and Best Reason

                3 times. 3 times being rejected. Hanggang ngayon kasi hindi pa talaga ako ready. Balak ko kasi na after ng OJT ko sa Thailand next year for about half a year and if same feelings pa din, then go na. Hindi ko rin naman kasi masasabe na ganun pa din yung mararamdaman namin after a year from now. I mean let’s just say na marami pang pwedeng mangyare at magbago. Pwede isa samin ma fall out of love or parehas kaming makahanap ng iba. Gusto ko lang maging open sa lahat ng possibilities na pwedeng mangyare. Ayoko na rin na kasing umaasa at mag expect. Mahirap nang masaktan.

                Sa ngayon parati niyang sinasabe na he can wait naman daw and patience is a virtue. Can he really wait? Or should I say we? Alam ko namang may hangganan ang pag aantay. Sana lang kayanin niya ang 1 year? If ever mang hindi, then maybe we’re not meant for each other. Maybe we’re not destined to be together. Ako naman kasi naniniwala ako na kung kayo talaga para sa isa’t-isa, kahit anong pang mangyare kayo talaga.

                Let’s just wait and see kung ano bang magiging takbo at ending ng story ko. Will it be a happy ending? For sure it’ll be a never ending happy story. Hindi nga lang ako sigurado kung kanino. Only God knows. ;)

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Sunny Rain

                “You deserve to be happy. WHY? Simply because, God gave you another day to live. So why waste your time being in gloom? It’s a gift to be embrace. Be happy because life is too short. No one can hurt you without your own consent. Maybe for now you can’t explain why things happened, but always do remember that God is too good or should I say BEST. Among all? He is the only one you can lean on in times you feel alone. Don’t expect too much from other people. It can hurt you unexpectedly. I’m here to listen. :’) SMILE. You have plenty of friends, will be here for you. Always here to listen. Mkay?”

                This message made me smile. :) It really made my day. And now I have a million reasons to smile and be happy. Or should I say, an INFINITE reasons. ;)

                Same personality. A quiet type of person. Tahimik pero makulet. That’s what we are. Hopefully the next time we would see each other again, we can finally have a long conversation because the last time we talked, it didn’t even last for a minute. And even though we had only met each other for twice, it seems like I’ve known her for so long. When I’m with her, I can be me. I feel comfortable having her around. Doing stupid and crazy things doesn’t seem to matter at all. That’s her—RUBYLYN “LAUREN” FERRER. ;)

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

Broken in Silence

                These past few days, I would always wear my fake smile and laughter. My friends and classmates would not even notice it. Yeah, I’m good at it. I’m good at hiding my true feelings. Soo much pressure on me. :(

                I’ve been worrying some things especially him. We’re not ok. He’s totally not ok. I wanted to comfort him but he wouldn’t let me. He wouldn’t even reply to my text and fb messages. He’s starting to ignore me again. He’s back to the old him. :(

                I was just thinking maybe he just wanted to be prepared when he migrates to New York. Siguro ayaw niya lang akong masaktan. Gusto lang niya akong sanayin. Pero sa totoo lang nasasaktan ako sa ginagawa niya. Gusto ko walang magbago. Gusto ko ganun pa din kami sa isa’t isa kahit na alam kong by next year aalis na siya. All I want is to remember happy memories with him rather than heartaches. Well, maybe too much imagination for me. Kinakalma ko lang naman yung sarili ko. Baka sakaling yun yung rason niya kung baket siya ganun. He would not even give me a clue to what was happening. Hindi naman kasi ako manghuhula. I can’t decipher him. He’s the type of guy where he can be as sweet as he wanted to, then suddenly he won’t. Ganun siya. I think?

                But this day, he told me that he had this guilt feeling. He kept on apologizing. His reasons for that? He’s too embarrassed because most of the time that he would text me, he has a problem. I don’t even care if he has tons of problems. Ang saken lang gusto ko I share niya. Hindi man ako makatulong, at the very least I can listen to his concerns. Alam naman niyang parati akong nandito sa kanya eh. Hindi ko siya iiwanan sa ere. Gusto ko na maging ok siya.

                This night, I received a phone call from him. He said sorry again. He’s ok now because he was able to hear my voice. Sus! Nambola pa! Haha! XD Well, at least he’s ok now. He promised me he won’t do that again. I can finally rest my mind from worrying. And I won’t have to wear that “mask” again. Maybe for now. :)

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

PAST

Just because the past is painful, it doesn't mean the future will be. So never let events from the past change the events for the future, or you will be miserable forever.

[tinyheartstuckinsideyourself]

DON'T BE TOO CONFIDENT WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU THEY LIKE YOU

The real question is..

UNTIL WHEN?

Because just like seasons PEOPLE CHANGE & so do feelings.