How to find a Regression Caregiver (both irl and online)
Before we begin: 'looking for caregiver' or 'caregiver application' posts are never appropriate, ever. Your caregiver absolutely cannot be a stranger you met online for the purpose of them being your caregiver. Your caregiver must be knowledgeable about you and your needs, they must be close to you, and you must trust each other. This is one of those things I feel there are no nuances on. A toddler wouldn't advertise themself on the street as needing a parent, right? Any old creep could come and pick you up. Yuck.
You should always find your caregiver/babysitter in people who you are already close with. Never go looking for someone to immediately fill this dynamic. If you wouldn't trust them to be vulnerable in other ways around, don't trust them with your regression. You almost have to guard it.
They need to trust you, too. Your caregiver is not a mindless robot who cares for you as their only task. They likely can't be completely predisposed to you at every second of every day. Even if you have a caregiver, you need to have your own regulation methods for careing for yourself on your own while your caregiver is busy. Also, you need to support them, too-- caregivers are just as deserving of love and care as regressors are.
I have a full-time partner/caregiver as well as a babysitter (who doubles as a sibby). In both cases, this is, start to finish, how i brought up agere, explained it, defined and explained being a caregiver, identified myself as a regressor, and asked them to be my caregiver.
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Recognizing your own needs. Why do you want a caregiver? How do you feel they would help? What do you need in a caregiver, and what are you capable of giving back? In my case, I'm disabled, so I also needed to take into consideration how my disabilities would affect our dynamic, and what kind of specific care I would need in accordance with that.
Find a best friend. Your caregiver needs to be an extremely close, trusted person. The kind of person that you have nothing to hide from and there is no such thing as TMI with. I had been dating my partner for a while before even bringing up age regression, and as for my friend, we had been close for years before them caregiving for me, babysitting me, and later being my sibby.
Introducing the topic. Not a lot of people know what age regression is, and even fewer people immediately understand it. My partner had no idea what agere was, and when I brought it up with him, I thoroughly vetted all of the information I sent him about it to make sure it was all correct. Define what agere is, what it means, and some of the different ways it affects the people who experience it.
Once you know they're a safe person, carefully out yourself. Once you know this person understands agere and isn't judgemental about it, you can try and introduce yourself as a regressor. Explain how agere helps or hinders you, how you experience it, and how you feel about it. Be very careful with this step, and if you sense any pushback or anything that makes you uncomfortable, stop and reel it back in to reconsider. Your age regression is a very vulnerable side of you and you need to be 100% sure at all times. If you find the topic becoming unsafe, end the discussion immediately and find yourself someone else if you feel you still want to. Only continue to the next step if they're receptive and open-minded. Make sure everyone is calm before continuing the discussion.
Ask what they think about it. Take this moment to answer any questions they might have. Especially if they're receptive of it, this is the time when you can really start letting them get to know your agere side. During this stage with my partner, I would regress around him (with his consent and without putting him in a caregiving role yet) to allow him to get to know that side of me. It was a little different as I'm a system and that regression side is really a front-stuck Little host, so I'm in effect a permaregressor who attempts to mask around most people, so this step was especially important to let him get comfortable with me/that alter.
Explain what a caregiver is. Once your regressed headspace is comfortable around this person-- it's also important that little-you approves!!-- you can introduce this term. Define it the same way you did Regression: send them articles or information, define what it means for you in particular, and ask how they would feel about it. At this stage, you might find that your person would be uncomfortable with taking on that level of responsibility-- and that's okay! Normal, even! Reassure them that caregiving is different for every caregiver, just like how regression is different for every regressor. Make sure you're open and communicating that there will be boundaries, and that you'll take this slowly, and that your caregiver would be allowed to set rules and boundaries just as much as you would. Let them know that their comfort is important too.
Define your boundaries. Let's say everything has gone smoothly and your person is receptive to being your caregiver. That's great, but we have a big step next: boundaries. This is hard for the best of us, and it will take some trial and error. Your caregiver can set boundaries too! Make sure you both agree 100% on a compromise before you commit to it. Make sure you're both comfortable with what you're doing. Take it slow, make time to sit and go over boundaries often to make sure nothing has changed, and be as open and communicative as possible.
Continue that last step. Keep communicating, keep workshopping, and once you find a set of boundaries you like, have fun with it! Your caregiver/regressor relationship is a very sweet and wholesome thing, and it should be fun for both of you!
Happy regressing, and remember to always communicate your boundaries, and never let a creepy stranger into your tea party.
fictional caregiver that help when your thoughts get too mean or scary. reminding you that your thoughts aren't who you are as a person, and that the brain can play tricks on you. Trying to make you seem like a bad person or an unlovable person. They, however, know you better than that! having no problem doing things that distract you, playing with toys or watching a comforting show! they'll stay with you as long as you need, a constant presence that proves those nasty thoughts wrong
me when i forget regressing is a coping mechanism and a healthy one at that so it's actually a good thing that i'm using it to cope with stress instead of something dangerous. and im allowed to do that
... I mean, Mark's trauma is SO viscerally wounding to his inner child. His entire perception of his father, his family, and his whole LIFE up until that point has been completely turned on its head. Meanwhile, he still has to be strong to protect Earth from encroaching danger.
I really REALLY would not blame him if his mind shorted out and booted him straight back to toddler years.
And Rex barely even GOT a childhood. He got to be a kid for a few years, and then it was straight to hero training and experimental treatments. I want him to experience that freedom and unabashed care and doting every kid deserves...
^ this is also making me realize that Kate and her brother are ALSO entitled to some hard-core kid time... they were taken much younger :(
Honestly, every hero character who trained from childhood is regressable. Get in my nest. Mars daycare. Mars daycare for characters with overly managed childhoods that didn't feel like childhood.
baratheonpilled
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