Balancing Act

Dazed and confused, I don't know who I am. Quinton Allen. But if it makes things easier, you can just call me Quin or Q. 25, Libra, military strategist of Izanami. Is there something I can help you with?

[morelikeamirror]

[ Margot looked back over her shoulder at him, watching as he put down the board in the sand like she had before she nudged him once with her shoulder. ]

What happens if I guess the number or hit it? Does that mean you’ll stop trusting me then or are we just going to wing it and hope for the best?”

[ Trust wasn’t the easiest concept to earn or even understand, considering how little he knew about her and vice versa. neither one of them were open about their pasts and she preferred it that way, even if she knew that it kept them as superficial as friends as could be, or at least that’s what she told herself when she had a quiet moment to sit and think about it. if she took any longer, she’d realize how close he’d become to being her only true friend that saw more than she was ever willing to let on. ]

We’ll start small with little waves and then move on from there, depending on how many times you wipe out because trust me, that’s going to happen today.

[tipofthescale]

[he titled his head lightly, keeping focused on the bright horizon line as the sun inched its way over the sea.

it was strange. there wasn’t a number. the number in the end wasn’t even that important.he thought for a few solid minutes, as he sometimes did, letting the sound of the cresting waves fill the place of his own silence. the number didn’t matter. he couldn’t think up a time or place where he’d stop trusting her at all. he couldn’t see a limit. it stumped him for a while. for how much trust he still had left in him, in the place around him and the way he saw it, most of it seemed to be spent on her. and she was quite the flighty safe. though he couldn’t exactly be called on to make the soundest of decisions at this point really.

he leaned his forearms on the board in front of him as he stared a little while longer, brows crinkling to play up the dramatics. then he shrugged]

I can’t tell you that. You can’t be the only one around here with secrets you know. Hardly fair.

[hardly fair, even though for the moment the only two on the beach’s pebble filled shores were them. even though secrets weren’t something easily measured. he spared a few looks between her and the board in front of him]

...One last question, you didn’t just do this because Aaron wanted pictures of me falling off stuff?

[he could believe that even if it wasn’t true, which it most likely wasn’t. that was one secret neither of them had to keep. or could]

[morelikeamirror]

[ Margot just continued walking, dragging him along behind her as they finally made it out of the school and out behind the field, still moving with a purpose despite her flat footed friend behind her with all the questions. They were ones she could answer, easily made up on the spot answers that would either earn a laugh or a groan, depending on the time of day and the authenticity of what she said, but Margot had other plans as she turned around and walked backwards with a smile planted firmly on her face. ]

Does it matter? It’s a secret. If I tell you then I’d have to kill you, no joke. I have a few old friends buried out back behind the school because they were in the same position as you. Do you want to see where they are too? Because I can show you but you’ll be dead by then. Just wait and you’ll see, all will be revealed to those who wait.

[tipofthescale]

[his face scrunched up in a wince as she spoke, even as he forced his feet to keep moving, to keep following her. it would certainly suck to be caught in the back of the football field ten minutes from last bell after all. 

still, he had to steady himself again, calm himself. of course it was a joke- of course it was all a joke even when she said it wasn’t, because when wasn’t Margot without her humor in tow or a really good one liner. if she did say so herself. and yet, it was the type of joke that only really worked if you truly believed for a moment there was any truth behind it. and she was a master at that. making far-fetched realities, the lies, seem like the truth until no one bothered to ask about which was which anymore]

You know, I really didn’t expect you to use the ‘patience is a virtue’ line on me today...

[morelikeamirror]

Is that the secret you want to exchange for? Because I have to say, you could ask anything      not that I’m guaranteeing telling the truth, but still     

[ margot wanted to bite her tongue to keep from talking but she was far too amused with his proposal. it wasn’t often they dealt in the way of secrets, keeping far too many of her own and knowing that they were a rare commodity from someone such as him that read like an open book, one that she hadn’t read before. as much as she disregarded her attachment for him, boiling it down to the fact that she needed someone to spend her time with, margot knew it was more than that even if she acted otherwise. 

if it weren’t for him, she’d be with luna who didn’t like her much at all, or aaron, who kept hitting on her even though neither of them carried it with much weight. but as she handled the board, keeping a positive face even when she nearly tripped over it in the sand, margot didn’t let anything show of what she’d been thinking. it was easier that way, laughing it off or acting like it didn’t matter, because eventually they’d come to realize that none of it did. 

even if he liked magic, there was always the chance that he wouldn’t like her. ]

What, don’t you trust me?

[ she grinned over her shoulder, hearing him come up as they neared the shore and dropped her board into the sand beside her. ]

How many times is it enough to say to get you in that water with me?

[tipofthescale]

Uh...can I keep that as a placeholder for now? Or is there no room for loopholes.

[it was a silly question. of course there was room for loopholes. she was the walking definition of a loophole. after all, he hadn’t exactly demanded honesty, and she wasn’t the type of person to look in between the lines before she was off doing things her own way. he could ask anything he wanted and he’d be none the wiser if she’d really gift him with the truth or some far fetched story fabricated to pull his leg, but still seemed just enough margot far fetched that he wouldn’t know the difference between the two. and he’d probably take an eternity to figure it out. but still, it was worth the effort of trying to get the truth, even if she wasn’t an open book like he was. not in the slightest. 

but then again, was he even that much of an open book? he stopped beside her, sticking his board upright in the sand in front of him as the tide rushed up to greet his toes]  

I do trust you-

[which was odd considering how much truth she supposedly gave him to warrant it]

But...how many times is just going to have to stay my own secret.

[morelikeamirror]

It’s about time you saw it my way.

[ she didn’t want to comment or even think about the breath she’d been holding, waiting for him to go with her rather than stay behind where it was safe and boring. she needed to run, whether it was five minutes before the clock rang out or before even the first bell, there wasn’t a part of her that didn’t need to be on the move and keep from sitting still for too long. it lead to nothing but quiet realizations and thoughts of things she’d rather escape from. when her grip tightened on his, she lead them out into the deserted hallway because everyone was still in class, tugging him down until they hit the stairs and were almost in the free and clear. ]

[tipofthescale]

[he stumbled and fumbled his way through the halls behind her like a very used and very tired rag doll, trying to manage bending down underneath classroom door windows with half-jogging to keep up the hurried pace she made as she tugged him forward. did he really see things her way? if he was asking himself and only himself, then he’d have to give him the honest truth- he didn’t. there were a lot of things about margot grey that didn’t make the most sense to him- skipping out of class half an hour before the last bell aside. and still he felt himself going along with whatever she had in mind as if he were hoping if he did he’d figure it all out one day. or some of it, at the least. irony was one of his closest friends he supposed. as they reached the door at the bottom of the stairs, he held it open for her to walk through, and then with a moment’s trepidation, followed her outside to where the back end of the football field lay]

Well, since I can’t see color apparently, got to have my eyes good for something. Uh...like maybe seeing which way were actually going, if you’d be kind enough to enlighten me about that little secret? 

[morelikeamirror]

[ apologies had always been pointless and meaningless in margot’s life, especially when that was all her parents needed from her and yet when the words had come forth, flooding both their ears as well as her own, margot knew that it wasn’t enough. when could words ever be enough? when was there a point where they were believed to be truthful rather than being spoken just to appease those that were looking for something within her that wasn’t there. it wasn’t. not when ever word she ever spread to the ears within reach couldn’t be taken seriously because there was rarely any truth in them. her travels had been real to her along with the flight instinct that was strong enough that she’d covered different corners of the world in an effort to fill the gaps that she felt inside, holes that had never been filled no matter how far she traveled or how often she changed everything about herself to assume the role that others put her in.

they saw her one way and she was happy enough to satiate them but what about herself? what about the way she wanted to be seen or who she wanted to be? who even was that girl?

there wasn’t a single person alive that knew the answer to that question, not even margot herself as she sucked in another troubling breath that hung on the edge of a whimper as she blew out her cheeks in an effort to not look as strung out as she felt. days ahd turned into weeks that became months before she’d found the strength to even ask her the questions that plagued her every night before she fell into a restless sleep.

it was worse though, when he’d been gone.

a thought that’d kept her up more at night than she was willing to admit to anyone, but most of all herself.

he was only supposed to be someone that saw her the way everyone else had seen her, a free spirit without a care in the world as everything fell into place for her with a positive attitude. luna had seen through it and dared to push back whenever it worked best for her to question margot’s true intentions but she hadn’t suspected the same could be said for her feelings towards the man by her side. the one that didn’t blame her for giving up and nearly losing sight of everything else as the thought of losing him forever consumed her to the point where she’d given up on even trying to be any kind of girl for anyone else.

the realization that he mattered to her, more than she thought had knocked the breath from her lungs as she studied his face, wondering when that’d happened. when had he become more than just someone she’d picked up and played with? when had he become someone that she wanted to know or someone she wanted to know her? ]

If you could, would you promise not to leave me again?

[ her voice was barely audible, not sure if she could trust herself not to cry if she spoke louder than that or if he saw how much he affected her ]

[tipofthescale]

[he hadn’t meant to do it- break his promise. no one really expected to die unless they were in a brightly lit hospital room surrounded by every person they’d ever cared for. even if quite a few people never got the chance to get there. he wasn’t the type of person to go around saying things he didn’t mean. used to, anyway. when he said he was fine or that he was okay, it really was whittled down now to simple pleasantry so people wouldn’t ask questions or poke around where he didn’t want them. he wasn’t the type of person to go around saying things he didn’t mean about others then, perhaps, but he was a different story, and one he didn’t like to tell. not often, and not to too many. but right now, it wasn’t his story. at least part of it.

what had happened was this: wild horses had dragged him away in a flurry of gunshots and screams and chaos and noise, far from the promise that was the biggest one he could ever remember making (though considering how much he did remember, it was less of a statement than it was supposed to be), and the one that he’d wanted to keep most of all, up until the point she didn’t need it anymore. 

her voice was as quiet as if she was just a figment of his troubled imagination again, and he breathed in with a sudden quiet tenseness. 

the answer to her question was easy, of course, all contained within one small word, a simple fix for a far too complicated problem. but ‘yes’, just ‘yes’ felt...wrong, somehow. too meager and too small to ease the guilt that had settled in his stomach even if she didn’t want his ‘sorry’s, even if there was nothing to forgive. he hadn’t been the one with the smoking gun. he was silent for a while, taking in the weight of her on his shoulder as if holding onto it like his memories long gone. and then he looked at her and smiled lightly, though it hid nothing as it usually did, or tried to at the least. pleasantness was replaced with melancholy, everything that had been on his mind for months poured into the tilt of lips]

Of course...yeah I would. I’d do it all over again-

[though perhaps not the ending]

I never meant to leave in the first place.

[morelikeamirror]

[ she stared up from her position on the top of her car, watching the night sky twinkle from high above even with the lights of Stella Valley blocking out most of them. out here, she could see everything that otherwise she would miss if she’d stayed home instead of parking outside his building. she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, hitting a few buttons before she hit send and put it back in her pocket. ]

M to Q: Get your ass down here soon before I freeze to death. And bring a sweater. You know the one I like.

[tipofthescale]

[bursting back into life with the sound and dragging him out of sleep with it, his phone buzzed dully, hidden somewhere underneath the throw pillow he was using more as an armrest than anything else. blinking a bit, he squeezed his eyes shut a final time to push the sleep out of them before searching around for still buzzing phone in a manner half like a blind man. he sat up before reading the message on the screen and his brows furrowed, looking out the window as if to check by way of the sky that he’d read right. from what he could see, outside was a pinky-purple expanse, orange in some places and white in even smaller ones. he really hadn’t been napping for that long, which left him to wonder what she had gotten up to since the last time they talked. which, granted, could be any and many number of things. 

getting his bearings about him, he took another few minutes to grab what she’d asked him for, inspecting a shirt held out in front of him with a confused look and grabbing an extra jacket just in case he really didn’t know the one she liked. and with that, he was down the stairs and turning the key into the lock of the front door of the building, easily spotting her sitting squat in the middle of the parking lot. it wasn’t hard after all. she was the only one there]

What the lady want, the lady doth get.

[reaching her, and with a moment’s hesitation, he draped the sweater over her shoulders, leaving the jacket by her other side on the hood of the car]

How-

[and he paused, changing the question halfway through it leaving his mouth. you only got so many answers when it came to margot grey. there was a cap]

What are you doing out here? Empty parking lots your new 6pm hangout spot?

[morelikeamirror]

[ her head hurt, yes, but it was a kind of pain that she could deal with and put away while she watched him from a safe distance, only coming in closer when she made a move to keep the first board that he’d pulled out from toppling down the side of her bug. it probably shouldn’t have been possible to fit two boards in there with the amount of stuff that she kept in car but she’d made it work, needing this morning more than she could express as she wrapped her fingers around the board and held it tight. her smile came easier as she leaned around it to watch him pull out the second one, her gaze shifting to the open space now that she was contemplating fitting him into rather than letting him have shotgun. ]

You never know for sure unless you try. And trust me, I’ve bent bigger things than you and they came out mostly fine. It would still be a secret because there is always a chance that you’d black out or not be able to speak afterwards but that’s the cost of learning my secrets. Some say it’s even worth it or they would, you know, if they could speak.

I can’t tell you all my secrets, if I did that then we both know you’d grow bored of me and move on to the next mystery. 

[ margot paused for a moment before letting out a small laugh, masking the truth in her words as she grabbed the board in her grip and lifted it from the sand just enough that she’d be able to walk with it towards the beach. ] 

Close that and let’s get going, Q-tip. The waves wait for no one.

[tipofthescale]

...I’ve always quite liked magic.

[his voice came quiet, sincerely considering now more than ever whether she was seriously planning anything or not. the way he saw it, her scale was in constant flux, never balanced and always moving, tilting whichever way depending on some invisible rule. maybe she was right, if he cracked that invisible rule, maybe the spell, the magic would be over and then there would be just her, but he doubted it. he didn’t get bored with people that easily. he didn’t get bored with people]

How about...

[he started again]

How about I exchange that secret in for another one.

[he nodded to himself a little, thinking it at least good enough to get her mind running on a different track. turning around then, he followed her command and then her lead, reaching up to push the trunk door back into lock, a much easier task now that there wasn’t two boards poking out at strange odds and ends. tucking his own borrowed board under his arm, he quickly caught up to the shorter blond making her way to the shoreline. looking away from the waves, he regarded her, light in curiosity, head tilted]

How often have you done this, anyway?

[he didn’t exactly remember, but he had the strangest feeling he’d never done this before in his life. ever]

[morelikeamirror]

[ she was almost out of the room before she heard him speak again, this time leaving her biting the tip of her tongue at how close she’d made it out without anyone even noticing her. no one that she didn’t want, that was, as she glanced over her shoulder at the lone person who was paying any attention. she narrowed her eyes at him momentarily, fighting the urge to leave him there, before she broke into a smile and held out her fingers towards him ]

They won’t, if we hurry, but I can’t guarantee that won’t be the case if you continue to laze around here any longer. Come on, now or never, Q-ball.

[tipofthescale]

[despite how convincing she tried to be, his worry laced frown didn’t budge, although he wasn’t thinking of turning back around now exactly. her being on her own would definitely bring back a story for her to tell at school the next day, but whether or not that was going to be a fun story or one that wasn’t so much was as easy to predict as whether or not a meteor was going to hit the school before she got to say anything. better to go with her than not. he just took a breath, and with a moment’s hesitation took a hold of her offered fingers]

Alright, lead the way.

[morelikeamirror]

[ it took mere moments to pack her things, throwing them haphazardly into her bag and slinging it over her shoulder as he joined her side. it’d been easier to convince him to go with her than she initially thought even with all his pouting that she’d have to break him of in order to get through the rest of the day. ]

"I was born ready. What about you? Are you ready to break a few rules and possibly damage your permanent record?"

[tipofthescale]

[she was...tough. tough in that confusing way that he wasn’t really sure whether or not she wanted to play hooky just to get him out of school in the first place, or if she just wanted to play hooky period and him tagging along was an improvised part of the plan. she was a master at reverse psychology, even if she wasn’t really aware what she was doing. his brows furrowed a moment as he looked at her]

I thought you said no one would even notice we were gone.

[morelikeamirror]

[ another tap and margot lifted her hand from the book and picked herself off his desk before making her way back to her own and grab her bag ]

"If you must."

[tipofthescale]

[he gave her a look as she turned her back on him to pack up her own things, slowly returning the books that had littered his desk back to his bag. she seemed gleeful almost, which meant that everything was going according to plan, as far as plans went for her. and he was the sucker. again. he shook his head, attempting to peer at the front of the library through the shelves to see if anyone was still on duty before he walked over to her table]

"Ready?"

[morelikeamirror]

[ biting on the inside of her cheek, remaining calm despite the many pairs of eyes of the people in line and the ones waiting for their drinks off to the side, margot didn’t mind the attention or being called out by luna. it wasn’t close to the truth, choosing his company over the frustrated brunette that could barely stand her company, let alone want her there. still, it was amusing. margot calls out over her shoulder, still watching him as she speaks ]

"He says ‘um’, Luna. I think he thinks we’re flirting too."

”Of course you are. Now quit it and come back over here and help me. If I have to beg once more, I’m throwing everything I can reach at you until you get over here.”

[ she shrugged with a soft grin ]

"You heard the lady, I’ve got to get back to work. Pronto.”

[ but not before she leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, let her take that how she will if she thought that two people talking were obviously flirting. she pulled away slowly, eyes grazing upwards to meet his as she took a moment to be stunned by her own actions that were more than even she thought possible. ]

"See you later?"

[tipofthescale]

[oh no. well wasn't this just perfect? a long 'uhm' a moment too long with nothing to follow it (even if she'd given him the chance to, he doubted anything would have come out but that one word) and he'd given nearly everyone staring at them an idea. an idea that not even he was sure how to put or how much truth there was to it, but an idea all the same. he wasn't sure of much these days.

as her head looked over her shoulder to call back at the one still at the counter, he seemed to finally be able to break out of his stupor, but not enough to even get the word 'wait' out of his throat. crap. he fidgeted with his fingers which made meaningless gestures in the space between then and when she looked back at him, rebooting since the last time his brain shut down. which was often, but never like this]

"Y-yeah...girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do."

[he shrugged, freezing again as she leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek, whatever reprieve his blushing face had had gone all too soon as the pink came back full force and ten times as strong. his head was back to 'uhm'ing again as it attempted to process the very un-margot move as his eyes caught her own, unsure what type of look was in them. he thought he was getting better at decoding it all. apparently not. after a long moment he nodded a bit, slowly at first]

"Uh, yeah...later."

[morelikeamirror]

"Not if you move slower than it takes for someone to walk to places. We’d never get anywhere if you drove us."

[ margot put up a finger to slow his roll, glancing over her shoulder at where Luna stood with a line that wasn’t any longer than a typical midday rush which meant it would be over soon ]

"Luna, do you need any help? Q-ball here seems to think that you’re being left in the lurch by my being over here with him. What do you say?"

"I say," Luna grit out between her teeth, keeping that fake smile up that they all had to wear while on duty while serving the next customer in line his coffee, "Stop your flirting and get over here to help me. Please." She added.

[ margot turned back to quin ]

"Apparently, we’re flirting. Still want to go?”

[tipofthescale]

[he tilted his head, looking at her with a mix of 'I told you so' and an extra helping of guilt, so much so he was ready to go over to the counter and help his friend out himself. he laughed, more nervously than he wanted to at what he was sure was a sarcastic comment from the peanut gallery behind the cash register before his head whipped towards the blond in front of him. his face turned a few shades pinker, words failing him at the thought that maybe it all wasn't so sarcastic, not when margot had put it that way. great]

Uhm...

[morelikeamirror]

[ there was a sound that might have resembled a string of curse words if margot had bothered to listen, opting not to as she crossed her arms across her chest. luna could handle it. she preferred it when margot wasn’t working anyways, what made today any different. ]

”Now might not be the best time to take a break,” Luna called out, her patience growing thin.

"Like I’d let you drive the bug. You drive like my grandmother, that is, if she could still drive. They revoked her license when she couldn’t stay off the sidewalk. Something about it being less crowded than the road.

Also, you drive slower than a snail.”

[tipofthescale]

"Not every road is a highway either Margot."

[his smile fell as Luna's curses reached his ears, and he scratched the back of his neck guiltily being unable to help the way his gaze went to check on her again]

"You really think she's okay on her own? I'd kind of hate to leave her in the lurch like this. Maybe I should go, catch you later."

[morelikeamirror]

[ she taps her fingers along the book that she’d closed earlier with her eyes still on him, intend on making a break for it, with or without him ]

"And I’m a fast runner."

[tipofthescale]

[he sighed once more, head drooping before sparing another glance at the clock. five minutes had already passed, and he wasn't going to keep her there for any longer]

"Okay, just give me a second to pack up?"

[morelikeamirror]

"It should be for your sake."

[ margot ignored the people that were clamoring for better service, knowing that luna had it under control, and if she didn’t, well, the girl could see where she was and it wasn’t that bad of a problem yet ]

"Nah, you’ve still got time. I on the other hand.." [ she raises her voice to carry ] “…am on break!”

"What makes you think you’re privy to the plans? That wouldn’t make for a successful kidnapping, now would it?"

[tipofthescale]

[his eyes traveled over to the counter behind her when she called her break, biting his lip. he could see his friend's frustration growing by the minute, but he knew he'd barely get the blond to move back in that direction no matter what he did]

You know...I'd think after all these trips I might have been bumped up past kidnapped to...I don't know. Maybe slightly more in the loop chauffeur. 

[morelikeamirror]

[ she makes a face when he laughs, scrunching her nose somewhat before she lets it fall too and replace it with a slow crawl of a smile on her face as she tilts her head to the side, resting it on her shoulder and looking down at him ]

What’re you going to get done in five minutes that you couldn’t do later and skip out with me now?

[tipofthescale]

[the fingers of his free hand move to the book she recently closed, still guarding it with her own hand]

I'm a fast reader.

[morelikeamirror]

"It might still be blonde but you wouldn’t be able to tell, would you?"

[ she moves so that she’s sitting up straight again, this time fully on his desk as she slowly, and teasingly, closes his books that he was reading moments earlier ]

"What do you think? You can either join me and make sure that I don’t get into too much trouble or you can be the one to come bail me out when I end up in so much trouble they can’t think of a fitting punishment that hasn’t already been done."

[tipofthescale]

[he laughs a little before leaning forward again, resting his elbow next to her leg as his head settles in his palm. he watches her for a few moments before sighing. there was no winning this, as per usual]

Five more minutes?