When Ininia erased Galga's memories, it should have been satisfying. An antagonist's karmic downfall is his own cruel punishment? This is the classic ending in many heroic tales.
However this effect is completely lost because without his memories, Galga cannot understand that he is the victim of the very system he previous enforced.
Because erasing memories is actually a terrible punishment.
Galga misses his memories, yes. Feels violated and lost, absolutely. However, he has also been robbed of any means to learn from his prior mistakes. He cannot remember what he did. He cannot learn how to do better.
This system gives no possibility for actual reform or rehabilitation. Instead the undesired are shoved away and forgotten. Whichever act transpired, forbidden or not, Pointed Cap or Brimhat, the underlying problem is never fixed.
I have a sinking feeling about Qifrey and where his story is headed.
MASSIVE spoilers and maybe slightly long-winded theorizing below the cut.
I believe quite certainly that Qifrey intends to reveal the complete truth to Olruggio very soon, and that while he seems to be accepting his fate, he is trying to maintain as much control over the terms of his inevitable end as possible.
Following the events of Chapter 88, after he reveals his nature as a Silverwood host to Coco, he asks to postpone his complete confession, wishing to be able to reveal the truth elsewhere, in a peaceful place beneath a wide open sky where his roots would have room to comfortably grow. He has described the land around the atelier in this way many times before.
Later, when the entire group is finally reunited and Olruggio tells Qifrey they’re going home. Qifrey’s expression looks pained for a moment, before he answers, “Alright then. Let's go home. Our atelier awaits."
His verbal recognition of the atelier as his home is a rather glaring signal that he is beginning to accept his imminent end and has chosen the atelier as his ideal final resting place. This is hinted at early on in a sequence during which Beldaruit spoke to Riliphin of the Silverwoods, and implied that he knew of Qifrey’s condition as he privately worried that his beginning to think of the atelier as his home could be dangerous for him.
At a point during their journey home, we return to the group to find the girls all asleep, while Qifrey has distanced himself from the rest, sitting on the bank of a lake to write in his book. Olruggio joins him and points out how far he’s sitting from the fire.
I think this was probably intentional in an effort to be closer to the lake to keep himself anxious, since it is my personal theory that here, Qifrey is actually writing a letter to Olruggio in which he tells him the entire truth, and that the narration through the next arc is comprised of excerpts from that letter. The lake is intended to be a failsafe of sorts, since of course, we know that vocalizing the truth to Olly is Qifrey’s greatest comfort trigger, while water touching his skin is his biggest anxiety trigger. Given this, it makes sense for him to choose this particular spot to begin to release the truth so he has a means of keeping the Silverwood at bay readily available should he need it, which he evidently does later on.
In the segments that follow, Qifrey reminisces on how he and Olruggio crossed paths at the Great Hall and became close.
Through the end of chapter 91, we watch the story unfold neutrally as though it is happening in real time, with no narration, but in chapter 92, something shifts. As soon as Qifrey’s recount reaches the part of the story that would have been lost to Olruggio’s memory, a past-tense narrator voice begins to cut in, and suddenly, it becomes clear this story is being told to someone, not merely recalled, and not just to anyone, but to Olruggio by Qifrey. This is the strongest evidence that what we’re reading is actually the contents of a letter to Olruggio.
All of this indicates to me that Qifrey is not just reminiscing, but is actively preparing for the end. The telling of the story, the physical and emotional distance Qifrey has put between himself and the others, and his now repeated framing of the atelier as both home and the kind of place where he would want to be forever, are all supportive of that.
As far as we know, Qifrey hasn’t been the one to initiate a full confession since they were kids at the Tower of Tomes. Spilling his guts in a letter written under duress is probably a new tactic, and it’s a smart one, as it ensures Qifrey can get the complete truth out on his terms without the usual interruption from the Silvertree.
We also know that Qifrey would rather die than have his transformation hurt the people he loves, so at this point, I wouldn't put it past him to leave the letter at home where the others will find it before going off to trigger his transformation alone, or waiting until the others are gone to trigger it.
This is what has me especially worried for him now, because Olruggio and the girls just left the atelier, leaving Qifrey there by himself. Maybe I'm projecting (probably), but the thought of Qifrey leaving a note and then going off to essentially kill himself makes my stomach hurt. Painfully though, it does feel in character, especially now that he's vocalized his trust in his students, particularly Coco, to carry on his mission. Olruggio, please go home now, your husband is an active danger to himself!!
Fortunately, Hiehart and Jujy pay the atelier a visit, but even upon greeting them, he does already seem on edge and uncharacteristically down.
Hopefully, whatever Hiehart has to say will get Qifrey out of his head and convince him to keep living for a little while longer. I'm guessing he's going to ask Qifrey to take on Jujy as his apprentice. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Anyways. To conclude, here is Qifrey’s directed narration/possible excerpts from a letter to Olruggio compiled:
Every day I turned my gaze away from the encroaching dread, and for as long as I was in the dark, I was happy. I greeted each morning with excitement, for with the rise of the sun came another adventure with you. I thought if I could retrieve the past I lost, my joy would be as genuine as yours, and perhaps I would have a real chance to share in your happiness. A child can dream. Like ordinary boys, we would share our visions of tomorrow with each other and we would laugh at how far away it all seemed.
Little did I know that felicity came with forgetting. It was a bliss born of ignorance. If I knew what I was… If I knew that I was never meant to be saved, I would've stayed far away from you, the sky’s kindest, most radiant star.
I once read an old poem that likened stars to boats sailing through the sky. But as far as I know, boats don’t twinkle like stars. The light doesn’t come from the vessel itself, but its guiding torch. Like your pyreball, it burns at the bow. A beacon of light in the dark.
After that fateful day, you would uncover my secret again and again. Each time you would respond with disbelief. Then your face would twist and turn in anguish. And after biting back a few words, you would show me grace, and comfort me and forgive me for lying to you. And then, without fail, the Silverwood’s roots would grow. You would offer me the same path back every time, and I would take it, adding to my mess of sins.
I had often considered leaving your side. I thought that perhaps traveling alone would save me from taking away your memories. But even that minute solace was enough for the Silverwood. I knew then that distance would do nothing but break my promise to you.
So I had another thought: A master never wants for worry with apprentices to look after. The selfishness behind my reason for taking on pupils made me ill, but they’d never have to know that. So I decided to put every fiber of my being toward becoming a good educator. If only I had known then what a joy it truly is to watch your students grow with each passing day.
It’s somewhat rare for a Silverwood to take root in people. Unlike animals, they tend to hold onto too much anxiety. Which is why the tree planted in Custus that gave him his legs raises some questions. My right eye was the only one to sprout during the experiments. It must have some connection to the Silverwood in Custas. For so long, I thought I was the only host, but now I'm not so sure. There could be more victims out there than I ever imagined.
Did I make the right choice?
Would it have been better to throw everything aside and hunt down the brimmed caps?
Doubts like these turn in my head, but the moment I see my atelier, I remember.
This is where my heart is. This is where I want to be.
I wanted to add to the thematic reasoning behind this theory.
spoilers for ch96 ahead
First holy shit, seeing the monologue written out, it really does look like a "deadman's switch" for the case of his death.
ch95 and ch96 start off our winter arc, and both of them offer a foreboding message about the circle of life and the necessity of death in it.
With the arc starting off with death very much in our face, it's very likely that there will be at least one major character death. These specific mentions of the circle of life also call my attention to the only other time it has been mentioned previously in the manga:
I believe by the end of the series, Qifrey will be "cured" in some way; but as of now, he seems to be the most likely person to "feed the Earth's soil".
I don't think, however, that he will seek out to die as of now. Most likely, there will be something that triggers it at the end of the climax of the arc or during the resolution. A tree that will bloom in the spring.
This chapter also includes olruggio sharing with tetia his values.
The people that "pass" are essentially the people that he couldn't save. He has accepted that this guilt for others is a part of him that will not go away. I hope he is prepared for another winter where he will not be able to save everyone with his magic.
the thought of qifrey's memory being so vivid, like he can recall each day as it happened. he's lost his entire memory before, he himself has inflicted the horrors of memory erasure on olruggio.
memories are the most treasured thing in this world, because each of them are unique and irreplaceable, and to just watch it disappear like nothing happened must be so painful for qifrey to witness.
to him, the least he can do is to remember all the kind words and actions olruggio has given him, and maybe one day he can give back all that warmth to olruggio, so they were never truly lost.
could qifrey dehumanise himself because when he eventually reverses the curse and 'becomes' one, he wants to feel reborn in a sense. he used to be a vessel of a curse but he's a human now who doesn't need to hurt anyone anymore.
if he thinks of himself as a human right now, he would hate himself more because what human acts like this?
he also wants to protect the feeling of being like a human so he can give himself hope that the future of being a human will be brighter and won't be as painful as it is now, because what if the suffering isn't only from the curse but from himself too
however, his suffering itself stems from his humanity. nothing is more human than wanting to be loved, yet he is denied of the core of humanity, to love and be loved
this is more speculation but it's an interesting concept to expand on!
qifrey's selfishness is incredibly complex to me. he is selfish because he is scared and broken. because he has something he loves so dearly and can't bear to lose it. because he's incredibly kind, and sees the good in olruggio and his apprentices, and wants to live on with and for them.
he wants his love for olruggio to be kind, he wants to give olruggio the love he deserves, which is why qifrey truly believes he's a burden to him and doesn't want to keep hurting the man he loves.
yes, qifrey makes selfish mistakes but he's backed away into a corner and doesn't have a choice. he is selfish because he is kind enough to love the people in his life to want to be with them without the curse
something i love about qifrey is that he tries so hard to close up his heart. he only picked up teaching to give himself more worries, but he's so full of love and kindness that he can't help but break through that mask and genuinely love all his apprentices.
at the start he said if coco was lost he'd lose so much more than her, which i agree is a selfish thought, but i also see it because he's closed his heart up to love. if he loves more, he loses more.
so he also keeps telling himself to see coco only as a pathway to freedom so he won't get attached. he most likely felt extremely empathetic towards her, seeing as he's protecting her from the same thing olruggio is protecting him from, wiping one's entire memory.
he's shown to be the giver in his and coco's relationship, which hopefully will ease his guilt of always being the one taking from olruggio, and give him hope that he's really deserving of happiness once he can feel it, seeing as he isn't just teaching to avoid his curse, but to pass his love and kindness on.
all his actions aren't defined by that tree anymore. he's not a curse, but a human.
I've definitely made this point before but not while interacting directly with the scenes. While the more visible dimension of Ena's anger in the Main Story is that she's upset Mafuyu is squandering talent that could have made Ena's life happy, another dimension is that Ena feels betrayed, that N25 was someplace sacred to her but not to Mafuyu.
First off, Ena is done with her. While everyone was confused and shaken by Mafuyu's 'you each want to disappear too' speech, Ena doesn't even want to think about her.
In SEKAI, Mafuyu's and Ena's conversation centers on Mafuyu's dishonesty. Ena names her dishonest for concealing that she was OWN and Mafuyu owns up to her dishonesty, saying that Ena only knows Yuki, that she never once knew Mafuyu herself.
To Ena, N25 was a space she could be her true authentic self; in her real life she's a failed artist and a shut-in scared of her father, on social media she's a shallow substanceless influencer, but on Nightcord she makes art from the heart with people who can feel the emotion she puts in to what she makes.
That was the Mafuyu who moved her earlier, when Ena was lamenting her own art can never compare to the songs OWN can create. Mafuyu was the one to comfort her, reassuring her that that isn't true.
but, all Ena ever knew was Yuki. That was never Mafuyu, those words were never real. Both Mafuyu and Ena know the truth, about the quality of her artwork.
The real Mafuyu, Ena can't even attempt to understand. She's someone unrecognizable to Ena, who had been sharing her true self with her friends and was under the impression they had been too.
Mafuyu admitted to playing a part during N25 meetings, rather than interacting as herself, and Ena can feel the sheer quality of OWN's music herself, and she can see the lack of appeal her art has with her own two eyes by the lack of engagement on her illustrations account. Mafuyu's betrayal was the same to Ena as exposing her art as having always been terrible.
kanade and kunigami's strong parallels!! (plspls reach bllk and pjsk fans)
both have strict moral codes they live by, and apply these to their passions. kanade originally wanted to make people happy with her music, and kunigami wanted to be a hero and inspire others by playing soccer.
however, they both realised they couldn't live up to this. kanade failed to make her dad happy, and kunigami was unable to keep playing soccer with the motivation of wanting to be a hero.
both of them changed after that. they used to be kind and caring, but suddenly started isolating and most importantly, dehumanising themselves.
kanade shut herself off and composed without end, needing to save someone to merely validate her existence. she didn't allow herself emotions, especially sadness towards her dad, because she felt like she didn't deserve it.
similarly, kunigami became a vessel for soccer. he abandoned the principles he held so dear and just became an object that could score goals. he also started hating himself and his 'foolish' thinking in the past, so he stopped letting himself feel to avoid reverting back to his "hero" image
something interesting to note is that kanade's title of being a saviour only came after her morals crashed down. meanwhile, kunigami's title of a hero was for him to live up to his morals and stand up for others. he abandoned that title after realising he failed to live up to his morals
analysing the lyrics of passion at 25:00 (from kana4- the way i played that day)
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The memory of that train station's platform that vanished one day,
And the companions I made with my burning ambition,
Someday, they'll become the sea, the sky and other human beings,
And there will be a day when I long for the passion at 25:00.
“memory of that train station's platform” refers to the happiness she felt in the past. being able to truly feel her parents’ love, and composing out of genuine passion
the train station could symbolise something that was meant to leave, that can't stay with her forever, just like how a train must eventually depart
but she's found happiness in nightcord through her pain. happiness reminiscent of the train that left. regardless, one day her members will have to go too, and she will once again long for the passion they helped her reignite.
joy is truly tied to sorrow here, as she still chooses to love her members even though they will eventually leave one day.
The desk full of scratches that I pressed my face against,
The smell lingered after school and the coldness of the chimes,
The gentleness of love and heaviness of sorrow,
We are created using all of those things on this night.
this talks about how sorrow and love shape who we are. even though its painful to recount the memories and it feels unbearable to deal with lingering trauma, it's contrasted against the “gentleness of love”.
kanade is who she is today because of the happiness and sadness in her life. they can't be taken away without tearing her apart.
in kana4 she learns to wholeheartedly accept her happiness that is tainted with sorrow, and despite the pain she can still smile, because she's slowly rediscovering the parts of herself she suppressed.
I'm sure that you'll understand it when you grow up,
The youth we were allowed to be.
I'm sure that you'll cling onto it when you grow up,
The memories of that one night.
you can interpret this as kanade speaking to her younger self, once so innocent and pure hearted. that part of her never expected that her happiest memories would turn bittersweet. she'd never imagine just how much she would miss the love her parents had given her, how she could accept it without any guilt in the past.
"I long for you, I adore you," Those words and the song on this night,
I wonder, will they smolder in the depths of my heart someday?
Will I be able to love this happiness completely and earnestly?
Will I be able to save you completely and properly?
kanade looks back on her past and longs for it, loves it. she hopes that her memories will never fade with time, and she can accept the happiness from it without thinking she doesn't deserve it.
she also wonders if she can truly save mafuyu out of her own kindness, instead of the ego she held in the early story.
this could show kanade's fear to move on. that if she allows herself to be happier and start composing out of passion instead of obligation, can she still save mafuyu?
is her will to see mafuyu happy and to be happy herself, enough to save her? she really hopes so.
The world is shining, don't forget that.
The world is squirming, don't forget that too.
You aren't alone in the world, don't forget that as well.
And make sure to not forget your own passion.
kanade tries to suppress her memories because she feels like she doesn't deserve to experience the happiness she had, and because they're simply too painful to look back on, knowing they'll be lost forever.
however, this reinforces the idea that suffering and happiness shape who we are. as painful as it is, never forget them because you'll lose yourself and your true desire to live.
still, kanade was alone and scared to remember. nobody would be there to comfort her through the pain of remembering.
but she isn't alone anymore, she has all of nightcord to help herself realise that she deserves happiness, that the pain she'll feel is an integral part of who she is.
and everything about her is precious. so, she finally allows herself to remember. tells herself that its okay to be sad, happy, to just feel without restraint.
and when she allows herself happiness, even just for a moment, she finally lets herself say her greatest wish all this while.
i feel like anyone who does any form of art needs a kanade yoisaki in their life
its so easy to feel disregarded, like your effort was all for nothing, but she'd truly appreciate every word, every brushstroke, every note
just small details that are usually missed would catch her eye.
she'd never fail to treasure the meaning behind your art, how you expressed it, how much effort you poured into it. she'd uncover the individual, unique world hidden inside and give it her genuine love
and its not out of pity but because she really is just someone who always loves as hard as she can
a kanaena parallel i noticed is that both of them experience loneliness in pursuit of their art (drawing and composing)
kanade composes out of guilt and obligation, which intertwines with and overtakes her true passion for music. even if her passion is slowly coming back, the guilt is always stronger.
she'll isolate herself as she thinks she deserves it, that nobody should join her in this path of atonement. it's only for herself to walk and suffer.
ena also lost the joy in painting because nobody appreciated her art, and even if they see it they wouldn't understand. she's alone and feels like nobody in this world would ever take a second glance at her paintings.
even as ena chooses to keep drawing because she can't live without art, she knows she'll still feel lonely and insignificant.
its something both of them have accepted as a part of their art, their life, but still doesn't take away how painful it is.
they'd both know the feeling of how lonely it is pursuing something you set your whole life out to do
