magic is real as shit

—rosaline delalonde

[affranchi-arc]

There is no end to this détente. 

[tiresiangestalt]

rosalines a nerd

[tiresiangestalt]

im old now i have a new avatar

[tiresiangestalt]

for roses birthday i bought an entire tarot deck and over the course of the month in dread secrecy i painstakingly and subtly defaced every single card

tell my fortune please heres the devil and the six of dicks

[tiresiangestalt]

affranchi replied to your post: i need a new story for this occasion this time my...

Tragic and inspiring. One young boy brings with him hope and a delicious new yeast-based drink. This year’s Tony Award winning musical, Beer Cup.

later it gets made into an overexposed heartwarming film à la seabiscuit and i spend the rest of my days embittered and refusing all contact with the press like jd salinger except im hot

[tiresiangestalt]

i need a new story for this occasion this time my uncle who raised me as his own son is going to be a microbrewer working to submit his artisanal products to the beer cup but was tragically assassinated by his rival to clear out the competition for best pale ale

[affranchi-arc]

I was quiet as the grave as Mr. A Real Adult, And Everything, smugly perused the artisanal draft list and placed his order. I am far too xXstraight edgeXx by half to even bother with that sort of ethanol-based refreshment. 

A competition of much finesse, I see.

[tiresiangestalt]

thats me

in the middle celebrating how absolutely refreshed i am by the taste of victory and also the taste of the fruity apricot flavour that works itself out and blends in with the malt sweetness followed by a mixed bag of spices that embeds itself deep into the palate

[affranchi-arc]

Agreed, but Rosalinic seems a bit too self-aggrandizing to just throw out into common parlance as if it were a previously established phrase in the rapidly-evolving protolanguage we’ve developed. I’m not sure what you were attempting to invoke, here - The Emperor Strikes Back was not a metaphor for the Revolutionary War. 

Lack imagination, you do. Over, bend. 

[tiresiangestalt]

rosalinic sounds like a kind of artificially fortified moonshine developed by a pair of belgian hipsters living in oil drums in williamsburg brooklyn

ok dude the window is FAKE i dont care if it goes into the seventeenth dimension or even one with turkey baster dialysis its realness attribute is dangerously close to zero

[affranchi-arc]

It was less a threat and more a prospective solution to a problem you had related to me. This is Socratic, Dave. We’re working this out together.

[tiresiangestalt]

im pretty sure socratic is what socrates called his copout plan to never have to answer questions and seem wise as shit but surprise motherfucker greek yoda aint got shit on me waltzing up to the redcoats and exposing your devious plot

after which youll probably have to spirit away to some unspeakable dimension where turkey basters are actually the appropriate device for performing home dialysis

[tiresiangestalt]

rosaline threatened to give me renal failure does ontario have child protective services

[8anyakangrem]

tiresiangestalt started following you

Shockingly enough, I don’t think I’ve talked to a Dave yet, even in the dream 8u88les. 

This should be interesting considering what I’d heard from Terezi. 8ut then again, people change. May8e you’re not as “cool” as she initially thought you were anymore. Or may8e you never were. Who knows???????? 

Guess I’ll find out soon enough. 

I’m Vriska, 8y the way. 

[tiresiangestalt]

wow alert the press for one moment i want every major newswire picking up this story. here ive got the lede for you

first dave offered up as virginal sacrifice to alien. "we come in peace" she doesnt say because she isnt a fucking stupid 50s actor in a rubber suit

dude dont hate on terezi. she is my homegirl

no wait sorry its been a while i gotta amend that im going to need to educate you on a whole subculture of our invention but maybe later because you could never understand what we had

basically the point is that she isnt just my homegirl she is also my homeskillet and homefry and homeslice and homedog. homecuisine is our speciality

hey

[affranchi-arc]

Check out my cool GameFAQ for more information. I’ve spent blood and tears on this ASCII map of proper Culture management :: farming grist drops.

[tiresiangestalt]

dude you should see my treatise on imperial economics and stock exchange econometrics it was rated 5/5 naks that is some universal acclaim right there 

[affranchi-arc]

There is only Haile Selassie I, Emperor of Ethiopia. I did warn you of the consequences inherent to Civilization 5, did I not?

[tiresiangestalt]

nobody told me anything about a reality-altering game i want out of here this instant

[affranchi-arc]

Who the fuck is Rosaline?

[tiresiangestalt]

who are you and what have you done to her

[tiresiangestalt]

oh shit rosaline is back on tumblr guess thats my signal to follow suit

[tiresiangestalt]

affranchi replied to your photo: My Tumblr Crushes: affranchi ...

Don’t think that other iteration of myself has escaped my notice. Have your things out of my house by 3.

yeah ok rosaline its not like we ever talk to each other or anything we really must have interpersonal rifts too deep to mend

[tiresiangestalt]

My Tumblr Crushes:

affranchi

fourohfournotfound-deactivated2

fourohfournotfound

brotocols

mulsuhurmas

thesongofangrywomen

breakshackle

threnodicthorn

gardengneutron

roxy what the hell

[tiresiangestalt]

true life stories with rosaline delalonde (apart from the fact that she cant properly decline nouns in french leading to the embarrassing state of her current url): we ate arrested development-themed french toast today and it was awesome