super rad! @tlngle - Tumblr Blog

*five years later* hiii i miss u all. hope you are well. am gay marrried and living with two (2) cats now.. im 30 next month. my years here as a teen n young adult were filled with awful mistakes and other terrible things. i still feel shame bt hey, i have learned. im active on bsky with 2 (nsfw) art accounts, lol. doing good nowadays. still think of my old friends here sometimes, wish you well! <3

#important note i still think tingle is hot stuff #the crush is eternal

@flebus you!! I can’t rember how to reply to replies if that’s even a thing but ay it’s gr8 to make contact with u again :D

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lol logged into the wrong account. Well hey I’m active on twitter @y3llowbile if anyone sees this

tlngle

figured it out, but yeah check me out over there for sfw normal dude content

#one extra rebagel

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lol logged into the wrong account. Well hey I’m active on twitter @y3llowbile if anyone sees this

tlngle

figured it out, but yeah check me out over there for sfw normal dude content

#logging in here made me miss all my old friends skdsgk

realized I'm still logged in on my old phone. Hi!! I wonder who's still here? I have a twitter now if anyone wants to keep up w me. I mostly use it to post commissions and pet photos. it's [redactednowlol]

hello I'm still alive and doing extremely well I think about you (friends I only know on here) a lot and hope you're doing good!! I'm just active on insta rn @ hotelmario & faroutsun it's weird how easy it was to just drop myself from this site after ? 6+ years.

okinawa-photo

crypto-mulder

me & roomie made bua loi

headspace-hotel

I feel like the best way to respond to someone you’re friends with making gross, racist, sexist etc. jokes isn’t to argue with them or call them out directly, but just to kind of wince at them like they just did something incredibly inappropriate and awkward and try to change the subject. Like, almost in an exaggerated way, like you’re just really disgusted and want to forget they said it. Arguing with them lets them 1) shoehorn you as a “SJW” and shut themselves off to you 2) defend their opinion or feel like they did and 3) lets you end up categorized as the person who did the inappropriate thing by making a “big deal” out of it. But acting like you would with any extremely gross and inappropriate thing makes it harder for them to mentally defend themselves and thus to avoid feeling weird and ashamed. It prevents them from getting in any way satisfied by your reaction or validated in their views. It makes them the person that broke a rule. And anyway, it is really gross and inappropriate to joke like that. It has to be a taboo, not just a viewpoint or a style of humor that some people don’t like. If you argue, it frames the issue as an opinion. If you just show disgust and displeasure and treat the offensive material like you would a pile of dog shit on a sidewalk you’re walking down, it’s not arguable. It’s an action, with nothing intellectual about it, and there’s nothing for them to defend against.

Anyone have any thoughts? Has anybody tried this?

micanificent

This is straight up how I deal with the subtle racist and homophobic behaviours a lot of people exhibit, as well as the use of slurs. Wince. Make a face. Look away. Get really quiet. Change the subject. Personal favourite is just just to say “dude” quietly and loaded w disgust.

And you wanna know what?? It fucking works. I’ve observed a decrease in these behaviours in the people I react this way to. OP is totally right, don’t give them the chance to turn it into a ‘discussion’, just skip directly to shame.