I think the idea of what you're trying to do would be fine if you weren't specifically only asking for stories of abuse to transmascs and TMEs by TMA individuals. It feels incredibly backhanded, and hateful and bitter. Whether your intentions are genuine or not I really can't tell because of that fact. I am a non-binary TME who presents feminine but I do not at all identify as a woman. While yes I no longer identify as a trans man I do not consider myself a detrasitioner because I am still trans masc. Let me share with you how I got here.
I first learned about trans people when I was 15 in grade 10 of highschool. I started playing around with gender expression and originally identified as genderfluid going by both a feminine and masculine version of the same name, and presenting as both a boy and a girl. I had a mildly popular Instagram account for cosplay and at the time a link in my bio where people could submit anonymous messages.
One day a trans man (trans med) told me to kill myself (specifically using the masculine version of my name) because what I was doing was so harmful to real trans people.
So I medically transitioned. Because I didn't feel like a girl so I must be a boy. The trans boys around me fed into the hatred of women and femininity. Made me feel like I couldn't dress feminine anymore because then I wouldn't be a 'man' and I'd just be making things harder for real trans men. I thought I was a trans man because I was told there was no in-between.
Eventually I met my now partner who is nonbinary and I stoped taking T because I realized that fit me so much better. I don't regret going on testosterone. I like my deeper voice, I like the bottom growth honestly it's pretty afferming. But I do wonder if I never got that message if I never would have started.
But I still presented masculine because the trans men I surrounded myself had made me feel like femininity was something 'wrong' or something to be ashamed of. While I understand it's likely steming from their own dysphoria it was still very negative towards anything remotely 'girly' even outside of their own identity. It was trans women, expressing their love for femininity in ways a cis woman would never do that made me feel comfortable enough to start doing makeup and dressing feminine again. Because while I don't identify as a woman I am feminine. And I'm so Greatful for the trans women who so deeply love themselves as they truly are which is in their femininity and womanhood. It made me see femininity in a positive light while still struggling with ones gender dysphoria.
Men do have privilege over women. And while I'm not saying at all that no trans woman has ever harmed a trans masculine individual, I want you to really think about why you chose specifically to target a group of extremely marginalized WOMEN as a man.
I'm deeply sorry you have been hurt. Truly I am I don't know what you have been put through to have this anger and pain in your heart and I can't pretend to, but this isn't the way to go about it.
Transmasc stories are important! Tell them! If the person who hurt you is a transfem individual that does not exempt them from the consequences but focus on the individual instead of framing all trans women as transmasc abusers and haters simply for being upset about how men put them down and how you are framing them in your project.
Sincerely a TME nonbinary individual
thank you for sharing your story. i am genuinely glad that you found clarity in your identity, that you found comfort and healing through the beauty of trans womanhood, and that you are now in a place where you can embrace your femininity safely. the medical and social coercion you faced from transmeds and misogynistic trans men was real, it was toxic, and you did not deserve to go through that.
but i need you to look at how completely you just flattened my identity, the identity of the submitters, and the structure of this blog to make your point.
you signed this "sincerely a TME nonbinary individual," yet in the exact same breath, you called me a "man" and told me i am "targeting marginalized women as a man." i have stated repeatedly that i am a transneutral and intersex person. i am not a man. many of the survivors submitting here are non-binary, agender, or transneutral. when you reduce an entire group of non-TMA survivors down to "men," you are using the exact same misgendering and patriarchal flattening that you claim to oppose. you are erasing our actual genders to fit us into a rigid "men vs. women" binary dynamic that does not accurately reflect intra-community harm.
you ask why this blog focuses on the specific dynamic of TMA-on-non-TMA harm instead of just focusing on the individual. the answer is in your own ask. when an individual trans man abuses someone, the community recognizes it as abuse. but when a TMA individual abuses a non-TMA individual, the conversation is immediately derailed by structural discourse. the abuser is shielded by the collective panic over societal transmisogyny, and the victim is told that focusing on the "individual" perpetrator is a threat to all trans women.
i am not targeting trans women. i am not framing all trans women as abusers. i am creating a space for the survivors of individual abusers who happen to be TMA, because those survivors are completely silenced by the exact rhetoric you are using right now.
it is entirely possible to honor, love, and defend trans women from systemic oppression while simultaneously acknowledging that individual TMA people can commit heinous interpersonal violence against other trans people. holding space for the victims of that violence isn't "hateful and bitter," it is the bare minimum of community care.
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