Letters Of My Life

They call me Tnick, and this is a window into my world.

[tnick-hello-blog]

Vulnerably in Love with You.

I fell in love again. I didn’t mean to, but I constantly catch myself fighting the urge to tell you that I love you everyday. I want to wait; I want to wait until I can say it to your face. If I could manage to form the words while looking to the oceanic abyss that is in your eyes, I would be amazed. When I get weak in the knees looking into your eyes, I want you to bring me back to Earth. And maybe if you could say it first, I could find the strength to say it back. Vulnerability is not my strong suite, but I will try my absolute best to be vulnerable for you. Because I love you, even if you are not quit sure of it yet. 

[tnick-hello-blog]

I was supposed to be mad at you, then I saw you.

[wnq-writers]

If you’re going to leave me again, then please stop it. Stop doing this to me, stop coming back in my life just when I began to forget about you. You’re so cruel you know? Picking at a wound only to see it bleed again, have some self control.

grewup  (via wordsnquotes)

[tnick-hello-blog]

Ladies, your time is worth so much more than you put it off to be. Don't waste your time on someone that won't even take the time to get to know you. A man will learn to love your interests and dreams before he loves the way you look. A man will appreciate your physical presence after he acquires an emotional presence. Your time is important because a boy will not cherish a minute of that time, but a man will acknowledge every single second. Use your time wisely, women; you're worth so much more.

[tnick-hello-blog]

I'm fighting sleep, waiting for you to reach out to me.

[wnq-writers]

loving someone means there are no terms and conditions. It doesn’t matter how hard things are gonna get, you’re signing up to never back off. Doesn’t mean you’re not gonna fight, it just means you’re gonna love each other, no matter how much you disagree. And this thought, that someone might affect you and your decisions so much doesn’t scare you. It’s diving deep, you can’t just dip your feet and actually understand what love is

meghanabhange  (via wordsnquotes)

[tnick-hello-blog]

Ocean Love.

We run from the things that are deeper than our understanding. Perhaps this is why so many people are afraid of the ocean; the depths are vast and the distance is significant. We tend to ignore the beauty within when facing the terror itself. 

The most amazing experience life has to offer is to love and to be loved; it is the most powerful emotion that one can undergo. We let love blind us from many obstacles in life. Does that make love the beauty or the beast, the depth or the distance?

We learn to show affection as we grow as human beings, but we are shrunk to a more shallow level once we let our peers judge our decisions. It is as if we dare to brave the distance, but the waves of the water forces you back to the beginning. As you challenge the depths of the water, pressure pushes you under again; a never ending cycle of drowning in what is supposed to make you happy. Ironic, huh?

They say that love and happiness are the key elements to fulfilling a successful life, but to achieve that you must find the strength to row your boat against the tide to dare to find the beauty and challenge the beast. For once you have conquered both, you have defeated all of your peers social standards to finally find your own love again. To love and to be loved is simple, but the idea of modern societal normalities ruins the notion of a simple love. 

Do not let the tide, the depth, or the distance keep you from the swimming with the dolphins; you deserve to swim with the dolphins. Brave the water to a happier, more beautiful life. There is more out there than sand castles on the shore. 

[wordsnquotes]

She was very private. I don’t think anyone will ever be able to totally capture her—she seemed so evanescent.

Joseph Mitchell, Diane Arbus: A Biography (via wordsnquotes)

[tnick-hello-blog]

But as I try and understand how life works — and why some people cope better than others with adversity — I come back to something to do with saying yes to life, which is love of life, however inadequate, and love for the self, however found. Not in the me—first way that is the opposite of life and love, but with a salmon—like determination to swim upstream, however choppy upstream is, because this is your stream . . .

Jeanette Winterson/ Why Be Happy When You Can Be Normal?

[tnick-hello-blog]

The missing part, the missing past, can be an opening, not a void. It can be an entry as well as an exit. It is the fossil record, the imprint of another life, and although you can never have that life, your fingers trace the space where it might have been, and your fingers learn a kind of Braille. There are markings here, raised like welts. Read them. Read the hurt. Rewrite them. Rewrite the hurt.

Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal//Jeanette Winterson

[tnick-hello-blog]

I haven't posted on Tumblr all day, your thoughts have consumed my mind.

[tnick-hello-blog]

And I just cannot wait to see your name across my recent inbox messages. I cannot wait to mean something to you again.

[tnick-hello-blog]

We are the most complicated of a combination, but there is no one I rather be complicated with.

[tnick-hello-blog]

And of all times, now you choose to come back to me. It's not that easy; we aren't that easy.

[theliteraryjournals]

Soon we will be strangers. No, we can never be that. Hurting someone is an act of reluctant intimacy. We will be dangerous acquaintances with a history.

Hanif Kureishi, Intimacy and Midnight All Day: A Novel and Stories (via theliteraryjournals)

Is this not the most honest thing you have ever read?

[tnick-hello-blog]

I saw you today; not in person, but it was just as painful.

T. Nickel//Original Thought

[tnick-hello-blog]

How Your First Love is Your Worst Love.

Your first love, what a roller coaster of emotions. I don’t know about you, but I would buy a ticket for that ride again. But that amusement park is closed. Standing outside the gates of love, and I have been banned without a key.

Your first love is your worst love. Not that it isn’t the best thing that has ever experienced, but because now you have unrealistic expectations. Maybe it is just me, but I have insanely high standards now and they are all based off my first love. No one could compare to him, and nobody ever will. Kick the idea of someone comparable out the window because you are just setting yourself up for failure. 

The first time you fall in love is like falling down the rabbit hole to wonderland; it is confusing and beautiful and mysterious and magical. And sadly, it is usually a dream; you eventually wake up and it is all over. 

Your first love is your worst love because you do not know how to handle anything. You don’t know how to react to such strong emotions especially when things turn for the worst. You have to learn how to grieve as well as you had to learn how to love. That sucks; why do we do this to ourselves? Nobody tells you these things.

Your first love is your worst love because you are completely blindsided with everything going on. I lost sight of what was most important; I lost myself being so entangled in love. Love became my enemy because I let it unravel me as a person; I was so naive that I let emotions control me.

Your first love is your worst love, but your first love will always be your favorite love.