Hi, I'm Conner!

Just Android Things|| DBH Sideblog (Managed by @toastertubbz)

[toasterbecomeshuman]

[Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker]

Fowler: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.

[Silence]

RK800, Connor: …I did. I broke it.

Fowler: No. No you didn’t. Gavin?

Gavin: Don’t look at me. Look at Hank.

Hank: What?! I didn’t fucking break it.

Gavin: Huh, that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?

Hank: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken, dipshit.

Gavin: Suspicious.

Hank: No it’s not!

RK900, Con: If it matters, probably not, but Gavin was the last one to use it.

Gavin: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!

RK900: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Gavin: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, plastic prick!

RK800: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.

Fowler: No! Who broke it!?

Gavin: Fowler…Miller’s been awfully quiet.

Chris: REALLY?!

[Everyone starts arguing]

Fowler: [being interviewed] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[too-much-wild]

If I had will I would animate this hahah

[toasterbecomeshuman]

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Hank: Fire a warning shot into his bulbous ass.

Conner: One rectal breach comin' up.

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Conner(RK800): [Straight Faced] Hi, I'm Conner, RK900, the android sent by Cyberlife.

Conner(RK800):

Conner(RK800): Fuck, it won't work. My face is too expensive.

[toasterbecomeshuman]

[Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker]

Fowler: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

[Silence]

RK800, Connor: ...I did. I broke it.

Fowler: No. No you didn't. Gavin?

Gavin: Don't look at me. Look at Hank.

Hank: What?! I didn't fucking break it.

Gavin: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Hank: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken, dipshit.

Gavin: Suspicious.

Hank: No it's not!

RK900, Con: If it matters, probably not, but Gavin was the last one to use it.

Gavin: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

RK900: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Gavin: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, plastic prick!

RK800: Okay, let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it.

Fowler: No! Who broke it!?

Gavin: Fowler...Miller's been awfully quiet.

Chris: REALLY?!

[Everyone starts arguing]

Fowler: [being interviewed] I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[toasterbecomeshuman]

||Headaches with Handguns|| (Connor x Reader) [Part 1]

I've been thinking about this for weeks. I want Reader to teach Connor how to meme. I'm sorry, Hank. This is a short crack series if I'm being entirely honest.

----

"Hank," Connor poked the unconscious, elder drunk on the cheek in a more gentle attempt to wake him. "Hank, please. Yourself, (F/N), and I have been called for a case."

There's a soft sigh from the young detective as they watch the RK800's LED swirl a pathetic yellow. They take a step closer and poke the deviant android, grabbing his attention.

"Connor, I don't think this is going to work. The old fart is totally KO'd," the detective whispers.

"Should I be more aggressive?"

"N-No," they cringe, remembering the harsh smacks he had once woke Hank with.

The room is quiet for a beat before the detective jolts up and grabs Connor's shoulders with a devious smile.

"Can you... You can play music right?" They ask the bot, jittering with excitement. Connor doesn't quite understand why, of course, and tilts his head a bit in confusion.

"Well, I'm more than capable of playing a song. But why--"

"Bear with me, babe." They cut him off, moving to the light switch to dim the room before adjusting their light-up sketchers. "I want you to do a thing."

----

What are dreams? By an established definition, dreams are a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.

It was so rare for Hank to have one like this.

Hank looks around to find himself in his living room, feeling years of stress melt away from his shoulders as he sees Connor and (F/N), two kids he's practically been fathering for the last few years while working on Android related cases, sitting side by side, Sumo calmly resting in their combined laps.

The TV mumurs useless news and out the corner of his eyes he sees his former wife, standing in the kitchen, a soft bundle in her arms.

He moves to her, catching the soft smiles on Connor and (F/N)'s faces as he passes them. Wordlessly, he pecks his wife on the lips and basks in her loving smile. Looking down, he sees what he's really missed.

Wrapped carefully in a soft blue blanket, a little Cole looked up at his father, a smile spreading on his small face. He hears the long lost and familiar voices touch his ears once again.

The soft and innocent voices of-

"SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME-!"

"WHAT THE FUCK AND WHY?!?!"

[bewear1]

I couldn’t resist making my robot son a villager in my town

[toastertubbz]

Bless the robo boy

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Y e s

[bottomsentbycyberlife]

retweet if ur happy for amelia and bryan and u don’t spread toxicity and hate to amelia just because u have a crush on bryan

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Connor: It turns out the only thing that makes you a good dad is being a guilty dad.

Hank: Yeah! And that's the true meaning of Father's Day.

Connor: That's just a character flaw...

Hank: Noticing my flaws... and my strengths. Is that the true meaning of Father's Day?

Connor: Dad, just no.

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Conner: Who are you?

Bug, weakly: Hank's conscience.

Connor: Oh, my God. You're dying of neglect.

Bug: Kill me.

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Conner: Lieutenant, the man said someone died upstairs. What if I see a g-g-g-ghost?

Hank: I don't know, Conner. You'll probably p-p-p-piss your pants.

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Conner, after being shot: You said it wouldn't hurt.

Hank, drunk as fuck: No, I said it wouldn't hurt me. You need to listen, girl.

[toasterbecomeshuman]

Hank: Uh, Fowler. Fowler, have you, uh, have you seen the droid?

Fowler: Oh, he got off your leash?

Hank: Give me a break. The kid's like a...he's like a.... Have you ever seen a drunk baby?

Fowler: What the--

Hank: Eh, it's a long story involving my son, a rum cake, and a low counter. Suffice to say that it turns out at first it's--it's endearing to watch them bounce off of the walls. But, man, you take your eyes off 'em for one second and -- BAM! -- they got a bucket on their head and they're plowing right through your brand new flat screen TV. God save me, it was barely out of the box. The point is that Conner is my drunk baby.