Return to Him...
About a year ago, on February 2 of 2023, I had a heart attack. This happened, as all bad things happen, suddenly one morning while I was beginning a hike with some friends. Because of this, I abandoned this blog which I had intended to be a part of my ministry.
The life and energy I had before February 2, seemed to vanish almost completely. Since then, I have had many, many hardships, many terrible days, many days when I have felt I have been about to die. Once, I used to get up at 3:00 am just so I could spend an hour and a half lifting weights, now, some days, I find it hard to just get through my morning shower, because my chest feels like it's about to explode. When once, a 50 lb dumbbell began to feel too light, now a gallon of milk feels like 100 lbs. Once, a five mile hike began to seem too simple, now walking from the curb to the front of the house feels like a five mile hike. And, one day after another, I feel that it is going to be my last. But I have not died, God has continued to be merciful to me and has continued to keep me here.
As the days have gone by, and then the weeks, and then the months, and now...one year after this changed my life... I have come to understand that God does not cause any of the 'bad things' that happen to us.
When bad things happen to us because the consequence of our first ancestors' decision to choose to rely on themselves, God is the one who comes to us and asks us to become co-workers with Our Lord, Jesus Christ in the salvation of the world.
WE have the choice to accept what is happening to us and unite it to the Cross, or reject it and make of it a lost opportunity. God asks us to unite it to the Cross so that others may come to the Cross through our faith in Him.
Jesus also said, "what you did for these, the least of my brothers and sisters, you did it for me" and "Love your God, with all your strength, with all your mind, and with all your soul and your neighbor as yourself".
When tragedies or illnesses happen to us, notice how many people will leave you, distance themselves from you. It is only a handful that will remain around you. Usually, our closest family, but very few others.
Your illness is an invitation for sanctification of all. Jesus is allowing them to minister to Him through you, "what they did for your (or didn't do) they did or didn't do for Him". When they are invited to love you as they love themselves, they are showing that they love God as God is to be loved, "with all their strength, with all their mind, and with all their soul". But when they rather excuse themselves from being loving towards you, they are missing an opportunity to minister to Jesus through you.
You are, in your illness and your hardship a vehicle for the sanctification and the salvation of those who choose to do for your, the least, what Jesus would like to be done for Him. You are the concrete way, to love the neighbor, in whose person, God is to be shown this love.
See yourself as this great co-worker in the salvation of those around you. If they do not see this opportunity, pray for them as Jesus did just before returning to the Father, because "they know not what they do". They do not understand what they are missing out on.
A year after my life changed, and after so many people walked away from me and stayed away, I have often met with Satan prowling in those who do not understand and make it clear through intrigues and assumptions that they would rather I be gone, BUT I have also seen Christ in the few who accept my diminished ability and my "candle in the wind" constitution---somedays, I have great strength, some days I can barely speak.
These few are some of the beautiful people of my parish, my family, my daily Mass goers and a few weekenders, the "mature" ladies and gentlemen, the lovers of peace of our Divine Mercy, the angelic children of the school, my army of Altar Servers and the my mother and her prayers. These are my blessings, which outweigh the 'non-blessings'. They motivate me to give 100%, even on days when I feel I can only scrape about a 10%.
Who and what are your blessings. count them.... you have them. Look beyond the pain and the hurt, and you will realize that they are what makes it worth getting up every morning and desire to be alive.
















