a wolf among sheep

@homoerotic

EVERYTHING I'VE EVER LET GO OF HAS CLAW MARKS ON IT.

353.9K posts

the way i feel about retirement is similar to how suicidal teenagers feel about getting to 25

are bots making communities now??? some of the ones i get recommended feel like it

like the admin of this one is deactivated and at least 95% of the members are bots

can you imagine you wake up one day in a dark room chained to a radiator with your phone at 1% and you unlock it and find that you've been added to this community

The first thing you do in that situation is open Tumblr?

Where the hell else would I post about being chained to a radiator, fucking Bluesky?

doctor-doodleman

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

chilewithcarnage

medievaljournalist

wait here while my manservant fetches the anti-elf rifle

U kno what im really starting 2 get fucking tired of getting shot at all tha time

pipshinwhatever

(said completely devoid of context) you know how it is

omggg. the guy my best friend has a crush on was texting me abt a date he went on w a girl and my best friend saw me texting and he got jealous of Me because i was texting his crush and jealous of Him because why does he think he gets to just be buddy buddy with me. i love that so much stop im always the jealous friend that felt so amazing LMFAO

sakapet-deactivated20181218

Jotaro using Star Platinum’s time stop to just … appreciate Kakyoin. Like, when they’re watching a movie and something makes him laugh, or they’re watching the sunset and he has this contempt smile on his face, or when Kakyoin is painting and has this very concentrated face, Jotaro would just stop time to see those faces a little longer.

scatology1984-deactivated201601

if i had start plantum i’d use it to hog the blunt

me: 🧍🏽‍♂️

my nervous system: we are going to get in so much trouble seriously

i was hanging out w a mutual friend of mine and my best friend today and i was telling her about how much i love my best friend and how hes been such an amazing person to know and have in my life and she just kinda laughed and went "its so, so funny that you're telling me this bc ive had this exact same conversation with him about you" and when i tell you i almost burst into tears

"he tells me that you are such a positive presence in his life, and that knowing you has helped him be a better person" like i genuinely almost started to cry. i know he feels this way about me he tells me all the time. but when you hear from a third party that your best friend tells other people about you, about how much they LOVE you, it just hits different.

ive had a good handful of people who know and love him tell me they are really, really glad i am in his life and there for him and i just. hope people tell him the same thing about me. that they're really, really happy that i have someone like him in my life. because he does make me better and he has been such a positive influence in my life. being his friend is the easiest, most natural thing in the world to me.

i was hanging out w a mutual friend of mine and my best friend today and i was telling her about how much i love my best friend and how hes been such an amazing person to know and have in my life and she just kinda laughed and went "its so, so funny that you're telling me this bc ive had this exact same conversation with him about you" and when i tell you i almost burst into tears

"he tells me that you are such a positive presence in his life, and that knowing you has helped him be a better person" like i genuinely almost started to cry. i know he feels this way about me he tells me all the time. but when you hear from a third party that your best friend tells other people about you, about how much they LOVE you, it just hits different.

i was hanging out w a mutual friend of mine and my best friend today and i was telling her about how much i love my best friend and how hes been such an amazing person to know and have in my life and she just kinda laughed and went "its so, so funny that you're telling me this bc ive had this exact same conversation with him about you" and when i tell you i almost burst into tears

Listen I get it but you CANNOT use "sensory nightmare" as an excuse to avoid essential things. You HAVE to find a way to make it work, such as finding effective alternatives. But you can't just avoid it.

You need to eat some vegetables in your diet or you will become a lich.

You have to wear a life jacket or you will literally drown and die.

You need to be able to exist in public spaces with children.

You have to find a way.

Let's all run outside and start yelling and screaming and see if we can get people to panic. If everyone did this it would make a big difference

sometimes when my mom gets drunk she goes into Liberated Women Mode, and one time she was real tipsy and while talking about her friend’s divorce, she very earnestly told me and my sister (both adults) that regardless of preference or relationship, she hoped we would both reach a point in our lives where we were having really good sex with really good people. and my sister said, “i do that now except the good people part” and i said, “sex is real?” and my mom didn’t love either of those answers

four-predatory-lesbians

ur mom sounds hot is she single

my mom is in fact single, and if you are so determined then it’s not my fault when you find out why

when the characters you like get beat the fuck up

ヘリコプター

pangur-and-grim

wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic

pangur-and-grim

a wolf among sheep @homoerotic - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag