
if i look back, i am lost
h
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
AnasAbdin
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@todeslied
I 𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔 with a distant memory in my 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 ❤
Makeup Mondays:
“Full of Stars.” Dark Beauty Magazine, Feb.2013.
Photographer: Larissa Lognay
Model: Maia Donnelly
Makeup Artist: Anabelle Deschamps using MAC Cosmetics
"Franziska. Why did a land dweller who was trespassing in my territory know your name."
The immediate expression on her face was one that reflected pure fear for the first time in a very long time. It only lasted a second though, before Franziska quickly caught herself, turning to avoid his gaze. She cleared her throat, straightened her back, then carefully placed folded hands in her lap. Now, she had to be careful here. Fran was not aware of what, exactly, he had found out, and thus needed to proceed with caution as to not give him any more information than what he knew already. The description of ‘land dweller’ was not nearly enough for her to know what he meant… Unfortunately.“…Er. I–” She thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I may have… I guess it’s possible that someone might have… No, I’m not sure how but… maybe someone was listening in to a conversation I was having…?” Her eyes lit up. “They could have been eavesdropping and heard my name! That must be what happened. Land folk are foolish, dear, I can’t control who they mess with.” Franziska let out a laugh… laced with nervousness. “It doesn’t matter now, hm? I’m sure you rid of them immediately- No sense worrying about a dead man.” …Her voice choked on the word dead.
songsinseaminor:
It was impossible for Roderich as well to wrap his own mind around just what was bothering Franziska. In some ways, he could understand her frustration, or at least empathize. He too hadn’t entirely been as cold hearted towards landfolk as he usually would be, and it confused him. But Franziska seemed to almost care about this particular person, and that, he could not yet understand. As sirens, they weren’t supposed to befriend landfolk. It just was impossible. And yet…
A worried frown upon his face, he hesitated slightly. “…I don’t wish to intrude on your personal life, but perhaps it’d be best if you… took a break from interacting with landfolk. Just for a time, until you can sort out your thoughts.” She hadn’t told him she knew any landfolk, but their conversation had been enough for him to assume.
Her head was reeling with a million thoughts on what could possibly be happening to her, so Franziska wasn’t entirely listening as he spoke. However, when Roderich said she needed to take a break, her eyes shot up to meet his. “What?” Her scowl returned. “I need to do what?” Her hands flew up in aggravation, and she seemed to stop herself from saying something rather foul.
“That’s an absurd statement. No, not because I want to spend more time talking to those pathetic things on the hunk of rock floating in the water, but because you had the nerve to suggest that I do!” Franziska paused, grumbling something under her breath, before continuing in a lower tone. Through a sigh, she said,
“I think I know what is best for me.”
random sentence starters
random sentences for any / multiple scenario(s). change around as you see fit.
“ who do you think you are? “
“ wait , did you just say you love me? “
“ please just … leave me alone. “
“ i’m so happy! “
“ is this a gift for me? “
“ hey! i’ve got something for you! wait right here! “
“ i love you. “
“ shut up! shut the fuck up! “
“ who told you that?! i didn’t say that! “
“ w — what? “
“ … i’m sorry. “
“ what? ME have a crush on YOU? whaaaaaat?! haha! what? pfft … shut up! “
“ bitch , guess what? “
“ oh my god … “
“ fuck you to fucking hell! “
“ man … go to hell. “
“ what did you just send me? “
“ what did you just say? “
“ they’re totally checking you out right now. “
“ jealous?! i’m not jealous! “
“ are you jealous? “
“ wow … you’re hot when you’re angry. “
“ wow … your smile is breathtaking. “
“ you’re so stupid. “
“ okay! that’s it! put your dukes up! “
“ you don’t want me. “
“ question , you’re not dating anyone , are you? “
“ let me take you out on a date. “
“ i swear to god i’m going to scream at the top of my lungs. “
“ no! don’t tickle me! “
“ i’m not good for you , trust me. “
“ no offense but i’m out of your league. “
“ so , how does it feel to know me? a blessing , isn’t it? “
“ … why does this card say ‘ happy 3rd birthday ‘? “
“ so what will it be tonight? “
“ please , let me listen to celine dion in the dark in peace. “
“ i don’t love you. “
“ you don’t love me. “
“ … is there something you want? “
“ you know , you’re really cute. “
“ god , just let me fucking love you , you idiot! “
“ shh … don’t cry. “
“ i just feel like everything is falling apart. “
“ DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! “
“ hello darkness my old friend … “
“ so … do i get a goodnight kiss? “
"Franziska. Why did a land dweller who was trespassing in my territory know your name."
The immediate expression on her face was one that reflected pure fear for the first time in a very long time. It only lasted a second though, before Franziska quickly caught herself, turning to avoid his gaze. She cleared her throat, straightened her back, then carefully placed folded hands in her lap. Now, she had to be careful here. Fran was not aware of what, exactly, he had found out, and thus needed to proceed with caution as to not give him any more information than what he knew already. The description of ‘land dweller’ was not nearly enough for her to know what he meant… Unfortunately.“…Er. I–” She thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I may have… I guess it’s possible that someone might have… No, I’m not sure how but… maybe someone was listening in to a conversation I was having…?” Her eyes lit up. “They could have been eavesdropping and heard my name! That must be what happened. Land folk are foolish, dear, I can’t control who they mess with.” Franziska let out a laugh… laced with nervousness. “It doesn’t matter now, hm? I’m sure you rid of them immediately- No sense worrying about a dead man.” …Her voice choked on the word dead.
todeslied
Another period of quiet passed, this one much longer than before. Her gaze had drifted downwards, and she found herself staring towards the sand. Franziska didn’t hear him say it, but yet… she knew. It make her stomach tie in a knot, and for a split second, her face too was contorted with an expression of grief.
Finally, she spoke- Her words low and monotonous. “Alright.” A sigh. “I do not need further details.” Eyes seemed to dim a bit as she continued, her stare staying rooted to the ground. Franziska couldn’t place why she responded the way she did. Especially around Roderich. They were close- They were friends. Such emotion only surfaced when she… Hm. “I’m sorry.”
Even after Franziska apologized for her outburst, Roderich was silent a moment longer, before sighing softly, a slight frown still upon his face.
“It’s… It’s fine,” he responded, a mild grumble in his voice. “I apologize for my stubbornness.” Her reaction still confused him, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to question her on it. They were close, yet somehow it still seemed a breach of privacy.
Another silence more, and then Roderich spoke again. “…You know, you can tell me if things are bothering you,” he said finally. “I… do worry, you know.”
She responded with a quiet hum, still averting her gaze. “No, it’s alright. I am... sure you had your reasons, as we all do.” Her voice trailed off. It was hard to think about. Harder to wrap her mind around. She suddenly was caring about how she treated people, and the notion disgusted her... But at the same time, she was appalled that such an eruption of anger could come from her- Perhaps even more upset by who she could hurt with it. “Ach... If I knew how to talk about it, I would, but...” A sigh. “I don’t know. Anything.” Franziska ran a hand through her hair, letting out an exasperated groan. “I’m worried too, Roderich.”
@todeslied
Ivan’s personal grotto had been his sanctuary for as long as he could remember.
Growing up in a fairly small pod, he’d never really had any privacy. When he was young, the adults of the pod were always hovering around him, as if they were scared he could shatter if left alone for too long. When he grew older, his three siblings were born, forever clinging to his side. Whenever he could, he’d slip away into the ocean alone to his grotto and spend hours in peaceful solitude. As time went on, he’d gather the various things he’d find across the seabed, hoarding them in neat piles.
He didn’t return as often anymore, his new house offered him a separate bedroom from his siblings and granted him the privacy that he’d coveted in the past. But today was different - he’d left behind the toys of his childhood in that grotto and he was determined to bring them back. However, he was wholly unprepared to find someone else inside of his private sanctuary.
“You! Who are you and what are you doing here?”
Franziska had her cave, and then her secret grotto for stashing whatever dropped into, what she thought of as, her waters. In a way, she almost valued the grotto more than her actual home. The things in there were all deemed of some sort of importance to the woman- Everything meant something, or represented something she wanted to remember. To her, being able to remember was important in and of itself.
Needless to say, she was very careful about keeping her sanctuary hidden... Not that she knew of anyone nearby who could possibly find it. At least, she thought that was the case. Returning to her grotto one night, Franziska was greeted by a visitor. Now, she wasn’t always against visitors, but this was certainly not where she wanted to find one. In her hands was an ornately carved mortar and pestle- Not that she had even the slightest clue what those were. Upon spotting the strange man in the cave, Franziska immediately growled a harsh, “What do you think you are doing?”, gesturing at him ‘menacingly’ with the pestle. Their words overlapped, and they seemed to catch each other’s eyes at the same moment in time- A strange occurrence that caught her off guard. Just a little.
There was a pause. “...Come again?”
@todeslied
On a rare trip to Orvunos, Maddie thought it would be nice to stop by the coast and see her friend Franzisca. She had a few questions, but more importantly she missed the siren she had honestly come to love like a sister. She had brought a few books along with her this time that she thought Fran might like: one history book and one fantasy novel, the first in a series that was still being written. When she reached the secluded stretch of rocky sand, Maddie stripped off her clothes and put them in a neat pile atop a particularly broad boulder and looked around for stones to skip across the tops of the waves while she waited for Franzisca to venture close enough to the shore for the two of them to notice each other.
These visits were indeed rare, but Franziska found herself looking forward to each one. She appreciated the will of her friend to travel so far and still make time to stop by- And while it was a difficult feeling for the siren to express, she tried her best.
Sure enough, Fran made a trip to the surface that day. Well... a few trips to the surface. In no way was she actually expecting Maddie to visit, so seeing her on the shore was a pleasant surprise. The stones caused ripples on the water, but she was prepared to be greeted by some unfortunate traveler instead. With a splash, her head popped out from beneath the waves. She approached the shore to the best of her ability, gesturing towards Maatalii to get her attention.
"Franziska. Why did a land dweller who was trespassing in my territory know your name."
The immediate expression on her face was one that reflected pure fear for the first time in a very long time. It only lasted a second though, before Franziska quickly caught herself, turning to avoid his gaze. She cleared her throat, straightened her back, then carefully placed folded hands in her lap. Now, she had to be careful here. Fran was not aware of what, exactly, he had found out, and thus needed to proceed with caution as to not give him any more information than what he knew already. The description of ‘land dweller’ was not nearly enough for her to know what he meant… Unfortunately.“…Er. I–” She thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I may have… I guess it’s possible that someone might have… No, I’m not sure how but… maybe someone was listening in to a conversation I was having…?” Her eyes lit up. “They could have been eavesdropping and heard my name! That must be what happened. Land folk are foolish, dear, I can’t control who they mess with.” Franziska let out a laugh… laced with nervousness. “It doesn’t matter now, hm? I’m sure you rid of them immediately- No sense worrying about a dead man.” …Her voice choked on the word dead.
todeslied
They were similar enough that Fran had grown used to his tactics when it came to things like this. Of course, she was (often) the same way- But that wasn’t the issue here. Franziska was much more worried about Maddie to think about the inevitable ridicule she’d be receiving for befriending a land dweller.
She was very quickly growing impatient with how he dodged her questioning. “Roderich, enough of this.” Her tone shifted to a sort of growl, and with a groan, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just tell me what happened with the girl you met. How she knows me is of no importance, but what you did is.”
For the first time in a while, Franziska felt a familiar anger rise up in her- One that she had been suppressing a lot recently.
“And do not even think of bringing up anything about me slipping in my resolve. That’s a path you certainly don’t want to go down right now.” The volume of her voice had escalated as she spoke, though unintentionally so. There was a moment of quiet, and she let out a long exhale, bringing her hand down to her side again. She caught herself.
“Just tell me what happened.”
It wasn’t often that Franziska got angry with him. Though they were both sirens and more likely to be cross at something or other, they hadn’t argued often. Roderich had forgotten just how startling it could be when she was angered. Usually, if someone became angry with him, he would get angry right back at them, but with Franziska, he floated back a bit in the water, averting his gaze and grumbling to himself.
“You are slipping…” was his almost inaudible murmur before he continued.
“…If you must know, no, I didn’t kill her. I am not explaining why.”
Another period of quiet passed, this one much longer than before. Her gaze had drifted downwards, and she found herself staring towards the sand. Franziska didn’t hear him say it, but yet... she knew. It make her stomach tie in a knot, and for a split second, her face too was contorted with an expression of grief.
Finally, she spoke- Her words low and monotonous. “Alright.” A sigh. “I do not need further details.” Eyes seemed to dim a bit as she continued, her stare staying rooted to the ground. Franziska couldn’t place why she responded the way she did. Especially around Roderich. They were close- They were friends. Such emotion only surfaced when she... Hm. “I’m sorry.”
an-bauuen:
an-bauuen said: “If I dive in can we, like, call a truce?”
@todeslied
Oh dear. It was him.
Franziska looked up at the shore, eyes narrowing as he spoke. This was her best attempt to look like the jaded creature she really was, but in her mind, Fran knew this man was no threat to her. In fact, there was a good chance she was more afraid of him than he was of her at this point. Ah, maybe not afraid- Careful, perhaps was a better word. The siren seemed to be this way with a lot of visitors recently. “Lutz,” The way her voice shook suggested that she was not one hundred percent certain that this was his name. “If I was planning on harming you, rest assured that I would have done so by now.” She flashed him a sheepish grin, continuing. “You’re certainly close enough. Being on land doesn’t automatically save you from my song, you know-”
“Yeah!” He grinned, the fact she’d remembered his name momentarily distracting him from everything else at hand. Once the revelation passed, his voice was quick to soften.
“I mean, that’s good. Just, once I’m in the water you’d have way more of an advantage - sometimes people tell ya somethin’s okay, then take it back when you start doing it.”
A rare frown crossed his features, while Lutz distractedly rubs at the back of his neck. The pause is causes is, thankfully, short.
“Anyway,” He shook himself. “I jus’ wanna wade in a little - there’s some ocean plants i wanna try getting some cuttings from.”
She blinked.
“Mm, I see.” A moment passed. “You can come in, it is safe.” Franziska slid off of her rock, gliding backwards into the water with a splash. She soon reappeared from the waves, surfacing with a curtain of brunette covering her face- After a quick flick of her head, however, her usual unamused expression was visible once again. Not that she was particularly unhappy- The woman’s face was just... like that.
“Ocean plants... Like what?” Suddenly, Franziska perked up, violet eyes widening slightly. She may not have had much knowledge about what happened on-shore, but the sea was a different story entirely. After all, spending... however long in a giant body of water really gave her a chance to familiarize herself with everything she could. “I could... help.” ...How long had it been, anyway?
"Franziska. Why did a land dweller who was trespassing in my territory know your name."
The immediate expression on her face was one that reflected pure fear for the first time in a very long time. It only lasted a second though, before Franziska quickly caught herself, turning to avoid his gaze. She cleared her throat, straightened her back, then carefully placed folded hands in her lap. Now, she had to be careful here. Fran was not aware of what, exactly, he had found out, and thus needed to proceed with caution as to not give him any more information than what he knew already. The description of ‘land dweller’ was not nearly enough for her to know what he meant… Unfortunately.“…Er. I–” She thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I may have… I guess it’s possible that someone might have… No, I’m not sure how but… maybe someone was listening in to a conversation I was having…?” Her eyes lit up. “They could have been eavesdropping and heard my name! That must be what happened. Land folk are foolish, dear, I can’t control who they mess with.” Franziska let out a laugh… laced with nervousness. “It doesn’t matter now, hm? I’m sure you rid of them immediately- No sense worrying about a dead man.” …Her voice choked on the word dead.
songsinseaminor:
What was with this anxiety Franziska was displaying? Brow furrowing, he looked at her with a suspicious glance. Certainly Franziska, the one who often teased him for letting landfolk get away, wouldn’t have befriended one herself?
“Now, it almost sounds like you might think I wouldn’t have disposed of a trespasser,” he huffed, then paused, letting out a sigh. “You say that, but this one specifically knew you by name. Perhaps she meant another siren named Franziska who looks similar to me and lives near Orvunos, but I highly doubt such a coincidence could occur.”
He folded his arms near his chest, tapping one finger against the other arm. “It’s true we don’t speak as often as we could, so how am I to know if you haven’t slipped in your resolve some?” Even as he made accusations, they were mostly to try to preemptively reflect any that could be made at his expense. Better to put the fire on Franziska before she could realize he’d let another landfolk get away.
They were similar enough that Fran had grown used to his tactics when it came to things like this. Of course, she was (often) the same way- But that wasn’t the issue here. Franziska was much more worried about Maddie to think about the inevitable ridicule she’d be receiving for befriending a land dweller.
She was very quickly growing impatient with how he dodged her questioning. “Roderich, enough of this.” Her tone shifted to a sort of growl, and with a groan, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “Just tell me what happened with the girl you met. How she knows me is of no importance, but what you did is.”
For the first time in a while, Franziska felt a familiar anger rise up in her- One that she had been suppressing a lot recently.
“And do not even think of bringing up anything about me slipping in my resolve. That’s a path you certainly don’t want to go down right now.” The volume of her voice had escalated as she spoke, though unintentionally so. There was a moment of quiet, and she let out a long exhale, bringing her hand down to her side again. She caught herself.
“Just tell me what happened.”
"Franziska. Why did a land dweller who was trespassing in my territory know your name."
The immediate expression on her face was one that reflected pure fear for the first time in a very long time. It only lasted a second though, before Franziska quickly caught herself, turning to avoid his gaze. She cleared her throat, straightened her back, then carefully placed folded hands in her lap. Now, she had to be careful here. Fran was not aware of what, exactly, he had found out, and thus needed to proceed with caution as to not give him any more information than what he knew already. The description of ‘land dweller’ was not nearly enough for her to know what he meant… Unfortunately.“…Er. I–” She thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I may have… I guess it’s possible that someone might have… No, I’m not sure how but… maybe someone was listening in to a conversation I was having…?” Her eyes lit up. “They could have been eavesdropping and heard my name! That must be what happened. Land folk are foolish, dear, I can’t control who they mess with.” Franziska let out a laugh… laced with nervousness. “It doesn’t matter now, hm? I’m sure you rid of them immediately- No sense worrying about a dead man.” …Her voice choked on the word dead.
Franziska and Roderich shared many traits, from their appearance to general attitudes, but it seemed they both also shared a complete inability to lie well. The look on her face betrayed whatever came next, and it was impossible to take her words seriously with all that hesitating.
“…You can’t honestly expect me to believe any of that,” he responded bluntly, face pinched into a slight frown. “Who would you have been talking to in the first place? Certainly not me, last we spoke we were in your cave. No landfolk should have overheard us. And it certainly does matter, because she’s no–”
He cut himself off. He couldn’t exactly admit that he hadn’t, in the end, killed the trespasser. Not only had he let the trespasser live, but she’d landed a blow on him in underwater combat and rendered him unconscious with seemingly little effort, regardless of how hard he’d struggled. With a nervous look of his own, he averted his own gaze.
“…Hm. Well. I suppose it’s not worth worrying about, when you put it that way.”
Did he say “she”???
Franziska’s eyes widened, now glued to Roderich. “She’s what?” Oh dear. “Did you k...” She let out a very not-so-graceful ahem to conceal the tremor in her voice. “Did you kill this one? I would assume so, especially if she was trespassing.” Her gaze faltered, and now shifted to inspect her jagged nails. “I’m not worrying about anything, I just...” She trailed off for a moment. “We don’t talk much, Roderich- I’m simply interested in what you have been up to recently. I don’t have the luxury of encountering land dwellers stupid enough to cross me.”
Though her speech seemed to be back to normal, the siren was being very careful to hide the anxiety behind her words. There was only one female land dweller she knew well enough to have exchanged names, and the thought of what Roderich might have done was looming over Franziska like the plague.
udholdenhed:
todeslied:
“Oh… Thank you?” She thought for a second, moving on to his question. “Yes, I suppose you could say that. This beach would be… the closest? I try to keep my distance from the shore though.” Which is exactly why she was up by the shore just before this conversation started. “Do you live near this beach as well? Er… maybe not ‘as well’…” Franziska paused, furrowing her brow. She wasn’t sure where deer normally resided, and the fear that she had just asked a very stupid question suddenly hit her.
“I assume you don’t come up on land often then.” He hugged his knees to his chest and rested his chin atop his knees. “I live on a different island, actually! One further north and to the west called Urga.” He didn’t know how much or little this merfolk knew about the geography of the Fiorelands. “Ah, do you happen to know a siren named Roderich? The two of you look similar, so I thought I’d ask!”
She shook her head. “I do not leave the water.” Franziska sighed, her eyes drifting to stare into the gentle waves below. “I think it would be foolish to go up there. I’m not made for that.” The siren went quiet for a moment, listening as he spoke. Suddenly, she shot up straight, looking him in the eyes once more. “Did you say... Roderich?” Now this was an interesting development. “...Yes we are good friends, if you must know. However, both of us resent the notion that we look anything alike.” A huff. “Perhaps it is just because we are both of the same species? Ah, it doesn’t matter. How... do you know Roderich?”