Small Dog Big Dog
I was binge watching some Cesar Millan dog videos when I came across this one that really got me thinking about human beings, civilization, instinct, martial arts, and my personal struggle with confidence/self-esteem:
In the video you can see that the small dog "Dora" has a problem with not being real with itself. Millan's "balanced dog" Junior (a much larger pit bull-looking dog) is the control in the experiment. When Dora aggressively lunges at Junior when they meet for the first time, Junior doesn't even flinch.
When I first began taking up karate seriously in my mid-twenties, unconsciously I was looking to become like a Junior. Instead, I only ended up continuing to be like a Dora. As I am not large by nature, I have always felt something like an inferiority complex* in the context of living in North American society around larger people (as opposed to where my ancestors come from in Okinawa and Japan). But watching this Millan video really drove home the point that whether you are genetically a "big dog" or a "small dog," the real size is in your mind. And what that means is, you have to be at peace with yourself. You have to be the "balanced dog." What's really problematic and dangerous, speaking of both dogs and humans, is a Dora in a much larger body. The meaning of the following passage from the legendary Japanese sword duelist Miyamoto Musashi becomes illuminated for me here:
It is essential for those who are physically small to know what it is like to be large, and for those who are physically large to know what it is like to be small; whether you are physically large or small, it is essential to keep your mind free from subjective biases. (Cleary, 1993, p. 25)
Watching these dogs, I couldn't help but think, "us humans ain't that much different." Western civilization has tried to control instinct by suppressing it, if not altogether stamping it out. Perhaps the main difference with us and the animals is that we can direct our instinctual energies in other ways beyond "food, fuck, fight." But the basic instincts remain. To think we should or need to get rid of them is the problem.
They really don't teach you this kinda stuff in school (at least in the context of North American public education). Dealing with your emotions, your anxieties, your fears, your insecurities, like Dora, can be extremely difficult and can lead to a life of isolation (as she was in danger of not finding a home because of her behavior). Again, I don't see us human beings being any different. One of my ideas has been to develop a program or school with martial arts (and maybe chess) at its core. But its real mission is the rehabilitation you see Millan doing with Dora in the video. "Training" humans to not only get along, but to get real, get comfortable with themselves in a complicated and chaotic world.
In my life now, I pledge to become the balanced dog.
*It would seem both inferiority and superiority are complexes, as their root is neurotic insecurity.















