president of the asajj ventress fan club

[tolbiny]

season 1 velcinta really making me laugh tonight. 90% of their interactions are just cinta spying on people through those ridiculous binoculars and vel standing like a wet cat in the corner with the most "will you please stop thinking about the rebellion for five seconds and come eat me out :(" expression you've ever seen in your life. the other 10% are holding hands and yearning like idiots. lesbian culture or what

[tolbiny]

im being so serious now we have the backrooms movie and have proved that creepypasta can be a popular hit Big TV needs to give me an eight part left right game series pronto. or ill simply have to eat them

[tolbiny]

honestly something so entertaining to me about tay kolma telling milf mothma or whatever her name is that his politics are too dark and twisted for her to comprehend. meanwhile he's talking to the woker. i just feel like thats an excellent subplot to be dealing with. you reconnect with your old best friend from before she got married off to her socialite malewife thinking you'll shock her with your crazy libdem politics meanwhile she's personally funding a galaxy-wide rebellion out of her spending account and doesnt gaf. sort of thing that would have me going home and screaming into a cushion

[tolbiny]

You can't like a post about a show from the uk because david tennant is in all of them and then you will be subjected to 100 posts about dr who's complex trauma from when he went to the urgleburgle quadrant and saved catherine tate from a hydra. real problem i have to suffer with

[tolbiny]

all im saying is dave filoni can constantly keep retconning deaths as long as he wants because i know it would make darth vader so mad to know that everyone and their mother can come back from the dead except from his wife

[tolbiny]

guy who says "may the force be with you" before going down on his boyfriend x guy who says "man i'm so turned on right now" to his boyfriend while sending him off to war. i'm talking about obikin by the way

(mandatory obi-wan aurafarm) (this post is obi-wan approved)

[tolbiny]

hes so pathetic i love him so much

[tolbiny]

[tolbiny]

star wars headcanon that the jedi order uses a really outdated shitty version of microsoft teams that is constantly playing up. and ventress's little passion project is breaking through the very limited security and broadcasting false announcements. and rather than update the system yoda is just like troubling this is, stop it you must and sends ahsoka on a mission to find out Who Is Doing This. and she gets to tattooine and traces the signal to an ugly little house in the middle of the desert. so then she just goes fuck it and knocks on the door and is eventually let in by a man in an enormous hat who she vaguely recognises, who shows her into the living room where four fully grown adults are huddled around a table giggling. and ahsoka goes Oh Shit It's Ventress which is particularly weird because ventress is in a save the wampas t shirt and perching on latts razzi's lap. and ventress laughs and goes wow they really pulled out the big guns sending you. and ahsoka is like ventress since when do you have a girlfriend what the fuck and ventress goes oh so you think i cant have a personal life. i do things outside of my nine to five you know. and boba fett is standing there looking angry going guys you are supposed to be working and dengar goes can it knee-high we're going to send out a temple-wide alert that all sex is banned of a severe STD that causes your penis to grow teeth. and ahsoka goes well jokes on you no one in the jedi temple fucks so thats not a problem for us and ventress goes i know that is not true because i myself have fucked at least two jedi. and ahsoka says well i dont really care about any of that i just cant believe you never told me you have a girlfriend and ventress says what is wrong with you ahsoka why are you even here. and ahsoka is like well i was meant to stop you doing this but i guess i wont tell if you dont this is kind of funny actually hashtag girlpower and just goes welp master yoda this mystery was unsolvable! and gets herself put on jedi desk duty for a week

[tolbiny]

post got one note and thus... here you go

[tolbiny]

live action asajj ventress is impossible for the same reason live action robin hood fox is impossible. it is too difficult to make them hot enough without getting incredibly strange about it

[tolbiny]

episode ix couldve had goth lesbian rey being trained by meemaw asajj ventress who immediately one shots kylo ren within like 5 seconds of meeting him and the rest of the film is about rey going speed dating except for a 30 second cutscene where palaptine drowns in a swimming pool. but you didnt want that did you kathleen kennedy. because of woke

[tolbiny]

[tolbiny]

[tolbiny]

speaking his truth

[tolbiny]

Dave felony could spit in my face and tell me mother talzin and count dooku never fucked raw on the nightsister spirit altar but i would still know in my soul he was lying to me. talzin walked dooku like a dog on his hands and knees through the dathomir forest and pegged him with the dark side til he turned evil. forgive me i saw it on the holonet

[tolbiny]

empire invades earth aus are fun but always implausible. every day it becomes clearer to me that their great military minds would immediately get sidetracked. look me in the eyes and tell me thrawn wouldnt immediately take his ass to the louvre. that grand moff tarkin wouldnt discover risk and decide thats all he needs actually. you cant. because its canon. palpatine just keeps sending all of his best men and immediately losing them to Earth Culture because he exclusively hires from coruscant gay bars

[tolbiny]

"why did mon mothma get that horrible haircut" asajj ventress founding father of bad haircuts was camping out on yavin iv doing some espionage and saw a fellow lesbian in desperate need of a terrible trim. next question