Me Slag no like Anything

[tomatofaceasaurus]

medicalmurdersaurus​:

The glare has no impact at all on Swoop. He is just as unconcerned about getting pummeled as ever and rests his head on the triceratops’ side. Nevertheless, Swoop doesn’t lock optics with Slag. He’ll glance to check on his brother’s face but keeps his gaze moving around.

“Him Spidermom ask bunch of Dinobot question. Me Swoop tell building Dinobot story and Dinobots on Cybertron story and Spider questions questions questions. More than Me Swoop know.”

“Him Spider nosy fucker.” Slag doesn’t shove Swoop off, just resting his chin back down on the floor and staring at the wall like it offended him. Which, it probably did, honestly. If only for being there. Being all.....rocky and shit. Who the fuck does it think it is being stable? Fuck you, wall.

“Why him Spider want know? Why You Swoop talk shit you no know? You Swoop not there when Us Dinobots buried, not You Swoop bizz-niss to tell Him Spider.”

An irate huff of his vents bounces Swoop a bit against his side but otherwise Slag lets him be. “What else You Swoop run You mouth about?” 

[tomatofaceasaurus]

medicalmurdersaurus​:

Ahh….

“Him run away,” mumbled Swoop while sheepishly looking away. Thank goodness for Laserbeak and her nearly decade long attempt to introduce Swoop to half truths.

“Me Swoop only push Spider one time. Not murder.” Dammit. He needs more lessons.

Swoop looks back at his ferocious big brother with questioning optics. “How long Dinobots buried for?”

“Tch. You Swoop big pansy. Him Spider talk shit, Him Spider get hit.”

Eh it was probably best to not have a murder investigation bringing Prowl to their cave anyway but it’s the fucking principle of the thing. 

The question and the look in particular gets a glare - not unusual for Slag, granted, or any of the dinobots, since their eyes are just kinda shaped that way, but there’s a fair amount of suspicion behind it for the occasion. “Me Slag not built with crow-no-me-ter-thing. Me Slag dunno. Long time. Dark. Why you Swoop want know.” 

[tomatofaceasaurus]

medicalmurdersaurus​:

Aha! Dino located!

Swoop scrambles over to wedge himself between Slag’s side and the wall. Death valley, if you will.

“Is too news!” Swoop pats Slag’s flank. “Him ask about Dinocave and talk bad about Ratchet and Wheeljack and say Dinobots only do stuff cause other bot say so. Him Spidermom say Me Swoop should leave!”

Slag doesn’t exactly lift his head so much as drag it through the rocks to give his brother a baleful glower. 

“You Swoop kill him Spider? Or is You Swoop big pansy?” 

[medicalmurdersaurus]

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

Hot off the heels of a very baffling confrontation with a spidery scientist, Swoop toddles to a cave that was more centralized to where the Dinobots often hung out. An excellent spot for yelling…

“Him Spidermom being weird!”

Who will respond? We just don’t know…

@kingasaurusrex @tomatofaceasaurus @slvdge @surly-saurus @elite-tracker

[tomatofaceasaurus]

“Him Spider always fucking weird.” Slag doesn’t even lift his head from his sulking hole, which is basically just a shallow cave carved into the side of the wall from his many tantrums that he uses like a pillow sometimes to muffle out the sounds of his brothers and their bullshit. 

Unfortunately Swoop’s voice has a pitch that cuts through the fucking rocks anyway. “That not news.”

[tomatofaceasaurus]

Slag’s “Someone’s Talking Shit About My Mom” senses are tingling 

[medicalmurdersaurus]

[medicalmurdersaurus]

((spoopy scary borbs))

[bunjywunjy]

why’re giraffes so violent

most big herbivores are, frankly. if you have a pretty steady supply of food and don’t have to worry about missing a hunt and starving to death, you can afford to throw your weight around more and generally be more aggressive!

that’s why the most dangerous big animals in the world are almost all herbivores.

[bunjywunjy]

this is also why walking right up to these things in Jurassic Park would have been a fantastically bad idea

[haltraveler]

Sauropods would be fucking TERRIFYING and it annoys the hell out of me that media constantly portrays them as passive and harmless. That Indominus from Jurassic World would have been SLAUGHTERED against an Apatosaurus, let alone a whole HERD of them

[particles-and-sweet-electrons]

- @cappucino-commie

[jpnostalgia]

THIS

[medicalmurdersaurus]

@tomatofaceasaurus @slvdge @surly-saurus

[tomatofaceasaurus]

I’m always baffled how people can look at the parrot beak on a triceratops 

Then look at how like

a real parrot

or a rhino or something acts

and be like “Ah yes this would be totally safe for my children to ride”

That thing will crack a skull like a walnut 

[kingasaurusrex]

Home Renovations

It had started with Slag.

Truthfully it had started with the kind of tv he’d been watching, someone having left Teletraan streaming the HGTV channel. What show had been on, nobody could really recall, but the important thing to take away from it was that it had left an impression. An impression that had then been brought back to the Dinocave. All it had take was one sentence to spark an interest, a curiosity.

“ Us Dinocave got no curb-side apple.”

A curiosity that grew rather rapidly.

Now the Dinobots stood in the center of their cave, whatever little furniture left in tact shoved to the side (the tv itself might need replacing. Again.) and the walls and ceiling being studied avidly as they waited for Sludge to return with supplies.

“Me Grimlock think us need pool.”

[tomatofaceasaurus]

“Hmmmmmm.” Slag stood next to him with folded arms, surveying the space of the cave. “In-door pool egg-spense-sif,” he grumbles pensively, trying to parrot the things he’d heard on TV. “But heat-pool great re-sell volume.” 

“Us Dinocave very min-ih-mall-ist. Need more light.” 

[hellfire-saurian]

YOU GRIMLOCK GROSS KISSY BOT

Damn straight. Careful, I’ll kiss you too if you’re not careful Slug~

[tomatofaceasaurus]

au-king-grimlock‌:

I-

Honestly I’ve had worse.

That doesn’t do shit to me.

Slorg

GRUNTLICK 

[koi-dog-bot]

KISSY GROSS

Oh? Is it now? How so?

[tomatofaceasaurus]

koi-dog-bot‌:

Figured that would cheer you up.

[A few boxes of rust sticks for you.]

Now go show those cootie bots who’s the boss.

[Yay candy!]

Thank you! 

[Trundles off with candy horde and impaled clown accessory]

[hellfire-saurian]

YOU GRIMLOCK GROSS KISSY BOT

Damn straight. Careful, I’ll kiss you too if you’re not careful Slug~

[tomatofaceasaurus]

au-king-grimlock‌:

WH-

I AM NOT DUMBER THAN SLUDGE!

AND FINE ILL CALL YOU SLAG YOU ASS

IT ME SLAG NAME, DIPSHIT GRUMLOCK 

ME SLAG CAN CALL YOU WRONG NAME TOO GRUMLOCK 

[koi-dog-bot]

KISSY GROSS

Oh? Is it now? How so?

[koi-dog-bot]

Oh absolutely, the cootie bots will be shaking in their plating.

Want some candy before you go? Better than kisses any day.

[tomatofaceasaurus]

.....

yeh.

Give me Slag candy 

[hellfire-saurian]

YOU GRIMLOCK GROSS KISSY BOT

Damn straight. Careful, I’ll kiss you too if you’re not careful Slug~

[tomatofaceasaurus]

ME SLAG NOT HIM SLUG ME SLAG 

YOU GRIMLOCK STOOPID 

[hellfire-saurian]

Hey, in my defence you change your name all the time okay? Seriously pick one and stick with it you damn tomato.

[tomatofaceasaurus]

ME SLAG ALWAYS ME SLAG

WHAT FUCK YOU GRIMLOCK TALK ABOUT

[hellfire-saurian]

It’s called a multiverse, fucko

Get used to it

[tomatofaceasaurus]

YOU GRIMLOCK DUMBER THAN HIM SLUDGE 

ME SLAG ALWAYS ME SLAG

NOT HIM SLUG

[koi-dog-bot]

KISSY GROSS

Oh? Is it now? How so?

[tomatofaceasaurus]

koi-dog-bot‌:

You got it, big guy!

[One scary clown anti-cootie mask coming right up, have fun Slag. He knows he will once he hears about a Dinobot wearing a clown mask around the ARK.]

...

...........

[well it is unsettling. It’s also. Way too small.]

[It goes onto one of his horns. Now he has a fascinator of an impaled clown face. Fancy.]

It mask scary? 

[hellfire-saurian]

YOU GRIMLOCK GROSS KISSY BOT

Damn straight. Careful, I’ll kiss you too if you’re not careful Slug~

[tomatofaceasaurus]

ME SLAG NOT HIM SLUG ME SLAG 

YOU GRIMLOCK STOOPID 

[hellfire-saurian]

Hey, in my defence you change your name all the time okay? Seriously pick one and stick with it you damn tomato.

[tomatofaceasaurus]

ME SLAG ALWAYS ME SLAG

WHAT FUCK YOU GRIMLOCK TALK ABOUT

[hellfire-saurian]

YOU GRIMLOCK GROSS KISSY BOT

Damn straight. Careful, I’ll kiss you too if you’re not careful Slug~

[tomatofaceasaurus]

ME SLAG NOT HIM SLUG ME SLAG 

YOU GRIMLOCK STOOPID