heartburn
pairing: jimin x reader
wordcount: 9k
glimpse: you know it’d happen eventually and you’ve been preparing yourself for the impending hurt — you just don’t want it now. not now when it’s nearing jimin’s little sister’s birthday; not now when you can swear love isn’t the only thing you can put on the table.
alternatively, jimin emotionally cheats on you while your wedding’s six months away.
[ intermission, part two (coming soon) ]
[ so much angst, wholesome moments here and there, emotional constipation, belittling n patronizing, mentions of broken relationship w parents, self-blaming ]
notes: this is uh.,.,. this is definitely coming from somewhere <3 of course this is fiction but it’s set in uh what i’d say is somehow a realistic n plausible scenario so pls read with care because this is on the heavier side!!
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :)
There is a home within Jimin.
To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god, you've stumbled on it once. Read it in graffiti on a freshly-painted wall at a nice street when you went out for a walk, away from your college dorms because it was getting too suffocating in there.
Years later, you know now how you've made a religion out of Jimin, wholeheartedly devoted to him even if he has his moments. Love him all the same even if he's sometimes too sleepy to say it back to you once you urge him to go to sleep. Proud of him just as much when you talk about him to the people in your life.
You've made a home out of Jimin and it's a nest you wouldn't trade for anything else — that much you're sure of.
Loving someone doesn't necessarily mean loving every bit that comes with them, but in Jimin's case, nothing about him was unworthy of the same love you give him. His parents are warm and are the perfect roots to explain why Jimin had easily wormed his way to your heart. Mr. and Mrs. Park were speechless when you told them at your first meeting that you would never do anything to hurt their son, but they one-upped you by the end of the evening when they asked you to call them just like what Jimin calls them — you're our child now too, they say.
Soomin, Jimin's little sister that was younger than him by eight years, who had never been a fan of her older brother's past lovers surprised you when she engulfed you in a hug when it was time for you to leave their home after meeting them altogether.
Growing up as an only child with only one parent present at a time or none at all, the familial love you aren't used to receiving is something you've received all at once from the Park family, the overwhelming amount of it making you cry happy tears in the car when it's only you and Jimin. He didn't expect you to blubber about how his mother's spaghetti tastes like home or how his father's laugh sounds like the few happiest moments you've had in life.
Most of all, he didn't expect you to sob about how his sister's hug feels like a warm blanket plus a furnace because he didn't even know Soomin hugged you, thoroughly shocking him and making him grin heartily.
Having someone to take care of isn't something you've ever tried before. Loving Jimin and taking care of him intimidated at you first because you didn't know if you were even doing it correctly, but it was just a bump in the road when you came to know that it flowed out of you in instinct. You love him the most, that much you're sure of.
It's only natural that you feel a sisterly bond to Soomin because in the five years you've been together with Jimin, you've seen her grow up. Watched her grow into her pretty features that you have no doubt learning she's quite the heartthrob, taking after her brother with how much they look alike. Watched her fly through different interests as time passes, standing beside her at concerts you've conjured tickets for and talking to stall attendants when she's too shy to ask for a new stock of concealer.
Watched her warm up to you; the two of you growing closer as she endlessly claims that you're the big sister she's never had, feeling the pride swell in your heart at the thought that you have somehow a familial figure outside of Jimin to look after.
It's natural to nudge her as you hang out with her on her bed, watching the weekly variety show at the television Jimin bought her.
“Soomin. Stop looking at your phone.”
She distractedly hums and you understand, her new interest being the small business she created, undoubtedly successful because people flock her messages for the newest restocks for the jewelry she designs herself and gets manufactured in excellent quality.
You nudge her a little harder and she finally looks at you despite looking a little frazzled, flicking her forehead lightly when her eyes keep flickering to her phone.
"Yeah? What is it?"
She figures that you're just teasing her when you turn your gaze to the screen at a particularly funny moment. It's humorous, that much you admit, but in reality you looked away because you feel somehow nervous even if you expected this to be much smoother.
"Not funny. I could be losing money at the minute," she playfully whines as she shoves you, making you laugh to yourself to let one more moment of silence pass.
"Will you be my maid of honor?"
All the noise from the room is washed away even if the TV's volume is set impossibly high because Soomin lost the remote somewhere underneath hear bed and hadn't been able to change it lower since last night.
You feel weird because she isn't shrieking like what you expected her to, a little worried when you turn your head to look at her but to your surprise, she's just frozen. Frozen with her mouth apart and her eyes glinting extra brightly.
You feel sheepish under her awed gaze, clearing your throat as you take out your left hand from the pocket of your pajamas that you've been trying to hide the whole day from Jimin's family.
You could've easily just removed it so you wouldn't feel troubled in having your left hand hidden and clammy, but it's something you'd rather do instead of taking off the ring you love with all your heart.
"Your brother proposed to me last night," you smile warmly, flexing your fingers as you turn them to face her. "Didn't kneel or anything like that. He just said it before we were about to sleep and slipped the ring."
It's a breathtaking diamond; not too flashy but not too lackluster either. It's something that looks like it has a mind of its own, establishing the presence of Jimin on your vena amoris that the fresh memory of him asking to marry you makes you smile fondly.
You're oblivious to how Soomin herself is having a positive turmoil unfold from within because before you notice it, you feel her weight crashing into yours, trapping you into her embrace as you feel the damp tears on your shoulder.
"Of course I will. I can’t wait for you to be my sister," she sniffs, "what even stupid question is that? Of course I would say yes. Why, were you thinking of asking someone else?"
You roll your eyes at the territoriality she has over you, reminding you of that time when Jimin practically sulked the whole day when you asked a friend instead to accompany you to a huge end-of-season sale.
"I already am, silly."
It's a tiny infinity between the two of you when she just burrows herself to your side, eyes barely snapping open when her door is thrown open.
She should be used to Jimin and his very brotherly ways of not knocking and invading her personal space while dodging it completely at the same time, huffing when his face comes to view.
Jimin catches your gaze with a playful raise to his brows, standing by the door still as he directs the question to you. “Is she crying to you about her secret boyfriend or something like that?”
The two of them have a somewhat large age gap but it's nothing out of the ordinary, always swearing to you with a laugh that Soomin is definitely just a happy accident but tells you at the same breath that he's glad to have a little sister.
They bicker just like everyone else and even if their petty arguments do get a little out of hand at times, they're each other's irreplaceable confidant — way past the days of snitching on each other and getting annoyed at the other for breathing a little too loudly. Jimin may not show it, but you know that he has a protective and even a spoiling streak over his little sister.
“I don’t have a secret boyfriend!”
He shrugs but he doesn't buy it, flicking the lights on and off annoyingly that you understand Soomin's occasional annoyance towards him. He's delighted to have annoyed her, turning to look at you.
“Come to my room after you go do your girl talk or whatever it is that you do," he grins cheesily, slyly coughing towards the end of his sentence. "I mean, I pay the bills around here and I don’t get an in on the gossip the two of you have.”
“Just turn off the airconditioner in your room and hang out with us here," you suggest but Soomin protests even before you could finish your thought.
“God, no. Jimin snores so loudly and I can’t sleep!”
The reminder of how your fiancé is loud and delays your sleep to hit you makes you reconsider, sharing a look of understanding with her. “Yeah, she’s right. I’ll sleep next to Soomin tonight.”
“Not fair,” he whines as two out of the three most important women in his life (he knows his mom would've joined in on the teasing if she wasn't busy downstairs) single him out. “Is this how you treat the man of the house? The reason you can turn the fan on even if the AC’s already blasting?”
Soomin scrunches her nose, a mannerism she picked up from you. “Not really, no.” Their dad’s still very much alive and kicking. Retired but still working to get himself busy somehow because he mirrors Jimin's lively and dedicated work ethic. His newest venture is baking, explaining why he texted the two of you a short notice to come over and spend the night because he needed extra pairs of his tastebuds to try his pastries before he makes the jump in selling them.
Jimin whines even more, throwing himself at the end of the bed as he rolls around in anticipation. “Fill me in! What are we talking about, who are we shitting on? Tell meee."
He's adorably eager to hang out with the two of you, wanting to be put in the loop that grew on its own with little intervention from himself.
Soomin looks at you in thought but you helplessly shrug, knowing what would be her answer at the back of your mind anyway. “You call the shots, Minnie. This is your room anyway.”
“That I paid the bills for when she suddenly decided to renovate it," Jimin interjects, raising his hand while his face is still muffled to the cold comforter, a byproduct of the really nice airconditioning units he bought for his family's rooms.
Soomin has no retort to that but you know it, making you smile before she even speaks.
“Fine. But Y/N sleeps next to me! Just get an extra mattress to sleep on the floor.”
“Of course. You love my fiancée more than you love your brother. Understood though,” Jimin shoots straight out of bed to run out of the door but he retraces his steps, not leaving the room without kissing you on your cheek and leaving a kiss on Soomin’s forehead, complete with a playful cringe and a half-hearted remark of how she should buy oil blotting sheets.
He lets it slip and your eyes widen a little, Soomin's voice beating you to it as she tries to sound genuinely surprised.
“Fiancée?”
Jimin rolls his eyes at his sister, clearly seeing through her but it amuses him nonetheless. “Don’t play coy with me. I could smell from a mile away that Y/N told you already.”
He leaves the room to the sound of both your giggles because you could swear up and down that you're not that predictable! The futile attempts of being natural and unknowing don't go past Jimin and it makes you double in laughter.
Soomin settles into silence much faster than you do because she's nuzzling to your side again, mumbling in excitement. “You’re getting married. You’re gonna wear a gown and I’m gonna fix it up for you when you sit or when you wanna go pee. I’m so excited — I can’t wait.”
Her thought process cracks you up and it's her endearing personality that makes you sure you wouldn't trade for anything else in the world, stroking her hair.
“You’re gonna be my official sister-in-law and you’re gonna have to look away when I use the bathroom while I’m in my gown. I’m excited too."
You look at your ring finger in thought, the diamond glinting right back at you as if it's happy to know its bearer.
“I’m getting married to your brother. I can’t wait either.”
( ♡ )
You want to take all of Jimin's fatigue away.
Him coming home early is even more of a rare occurrence than him coming home much later, today being a happy medium of the two but you could see the tiredness on his face evidently.
His job isn't easy even if the majority of your knowledge towards it comes from your observations of him. Being a music producer is more strenuous than it sounds like and you know it because of the handful of times that you'd drop by in his studio to drop off food because he's too busy to get himself some, always bringing extra portions for Yoongi who came to be your close friend.
"Tough day today, baby? Want me to draw you a bath?"
Jimin just about moans at the thought of a sliver of relaxation, eyes closing peacefully when kiss his cheek and knead his shoulders lightly. "Yes please. Did you cook tonight? I don't know if I wanna sleep or if I wanna eat first. I think I'm gonna pass out either way."
You're not bothered that he doesn't ask you about how your day went because you wouldn't want to worry him in the occurrence that learning about your fatiguing work conditions would trouble him.
"Mhmm, I got take-out after work today. It's your comfort food."
The thought of honey-glazed fried chicken on warm rice with mushroom soup on the side is enough to make Jimin hum happily to himself, adjusting himself on the couch so he could nuzzle closer to your neck.
"Sounds tempting. God, I wish I could just run to coffee shops like you all day."
You don't take it to heart because after all, pitching in an argument at this time of the night wouldn't matter the next day.
You resist the urge to correct him because he's exhausted and you don't want him to strain his mind over it. It's just something small that you could talk to him about any other time. Tonight, it's not the priority.
You want to tell Jimin that being a personal assistant to a big shot in the marketing industry isn't all about running coffee errands. Kim Taehyung's meticulous and ruthless but he's kind; kind before he unloads a whole dump of work on your desk. He gets apologetic sometimes for making you work so hard, but you tell him that he shouldn't because after all, it's your job. You're getting paid by him to do the work he asks of you and it's not your position to complain.
You don't know if Jimin notices how this is the only day of the week that you've come home early and had some time to yourself, judging by the way you look more composed and less unkempt like when you've just come home. Did the little things that add up to make you feel more pampered; did a body scrub and a hair mask and spritzed perfume, wearing a shirt of his that takes permanent vacancy in your side of the closet now.
You don't correct Jimin because this isn't a competition of who has it rougher than the other. It's not a competition between you, a bachelor's degree holder in aviation but works as a personal assistant, and Jimin, a cum laude with a degree in mass communication but works as a music producer with his best buddy.
"How about a bite before you get into the bath? Then you can go sleep and you can just have it for breakfast," you propose after much thought, even rethinking if you can whip up a bath tray if he wants to do it at the same time.
You wait for a reply but it never comes because Jimin's already fast-asleep against the armrest of the couch because after all, he's spent.
The most logical thing to do would be to try and move him to your room upstairs but you don't. He needs rest and it just so happens that he's resting on the cloud couch you've bought together in an exact 50/50 money split, atleast reassuring you that it's a wise and comfortable purchase despite being a big amount.
It's okay if he didn't ask you about your day or stayed up to talk about whatever that comes into mind. Jimin's tired from work and so are you but it's okay.
You grab the pillows and the comforter from the master's bedroom and go down anyway, sleeping beside him.
( ♡ )
Kim Taehyung as a boss is not all that bad.
You've been working for him for approximately two years now and within the timeframe, you came to know how he isn't the stubborn and short-tempered boss his employees painted him out to be.
He's the CEO of the company his grandfather built from the ground up, the esteemed position handed to him by his dad who wanted to retire early. He was thrust into the family business he wasn't even sure he wanted to handle, but here he is nevertheless.
You're the first ever personal assistant he's ever had and he's the first person you've ever worked for as a PA, the two of you still learning about the ropes despite being in the wave for two years and counting.
He could be ruthless but that's just because he's driven. He could get a little frustrated and in turn become snappy and quick-witted at you, but he apologizes once he cools down enough.
He's your boss but you're comfortable enough with him to joke around from time to time, sometimes even daring to call him by his first name jokingly which always catches him off-guard but it's a fresh grounding reminder that he's Kim Taehyung before he became Mr. Kim.
You remind him of his government name from time to time and it helps put a grin on his face.
“Taehyung, can I ask you about something that’s not work-related?”
You already know you're pushing it by calling him by his first name so you make sure to ask if you could ask something that's outside your paygrade, but he looks like he doesn't mind.
His head flicks up to you at the mention of his name, slowing down his typing on his blue-switch mechanical keyboard that his dad's not the biggest fan of; the RGB backlit and ridiculously clicky keyboard not exactly being CEO-like but Taehyung just waves off his father's confusion of what compelled him to use it.
“Huh. Should I be concerned?”
He keeps his gaze on you while continuing on typing, barely any errors as it looks like but he giggles when you look at his monitor warily, only to see a bunch of keysmashes as he pretends to be composed.
“I think you’d be flattered.”
He purses his mouth at that, nodding to you before leaning back to his chair. “Inflate my ego, I guess. Go ahead, Y/N.”
You try not to let your excitement show because Mr. Kim let you call him by his first name and ask a personal question all at the same time, barely being able to stop the upturn of your lips as you try not to ramble.
“Where do you get your suits? Do you buy them? Do you have a tailor? Do you have any suggestions? You have a great sense of style, Taehyung. I love it so much.”
It's clear as daylight that it's not the questions he expected. He was thinking you were gonna pry on his childhood or why the only photos in his desk are of his dog, but it's a good type of shock anyway.
Taehyung scratches the end of his eyebrow with his pinky, clearing his throat.
“Thank you. I uh, I really didn’t expect that,” he looks away, obviously flattered that his sense of style was praised. “I have a personal tailor but I buy suits too. By suggestions, what do you mean? Can I ask why?”
It's only a logical question for him to ask you because out of all people, why would you come to him for suit recommendations? You have the answers for him but you withhold all the things you're expected to unpack, wanting to dodge the possible questioning when you admit to your boss that he's only one of the few male influences in your life you have and treasure — him, Jimin, Mr. Park, and Yoongi.
“I’m getting married eight months from now. I uh, I want to buy my fiancé his wedding suit — I-I was just asking so I could know the ballpark for it, y’know?" you wring your hands because you're pretty sure you sound pathetic basically asking your boss how much his suits cost. "I’ll pay but I don’t want to look at his suit because I want it to be a surprise. I asked since y’know... you look nice in suits.”
Taehyung had an idea that you were in a relationship but he didn't expect for you to be engaged. It's a pleasant surprise of the added things he now knows about you that were all uttered in one breath, genuinely finding you to be a good employee.
You're a good person, that much he knows.
“Your fiancé’s lucky to have you, Y/N.”
He grins at you warmly and you mirror his happiness, bowing your head at the comment.
“I have a whole spreadsheet and some notes for what I like and buy, I’ll send them to you later," he announces in finality as he leans to his desktop, exiting from the numerous tabs he has opened and starts to search for his personal files instead.
It humors you that the roles have been reversed, your boss doing his very best to locate what you needed and promising to give it to you as soon as possible.
“I’ll give you the number of my tailor and the addresses of some of the shops for my ready-made suits. I’ll put in a good word for you.”
The smile that breaks out at your face is contagious and Taehyung feels oddly touched at the moment, sealing the deal as he looks at you one last time with a playful wink. “Consider your bonus to arrive sooner than everyone else’s.”
It's within moments like these that you don't feel misplaced and ashamed in the career path you inserted yourself in. You know that many of your relatives and friends were surprised and even mad at you for not pursuing the career you studied — the same one you didn't say you wanted because it was your dad that projected all his dreams and expectations for a son he never had, to you.
It's little moments such as your boss joking around with you that you feel safe, unharmed as mere acquaintances would make comments on how it's such a big waste to not be flying with your degree because of course, money should be prioritized even if it comes from the very job that pieced apart your life, right?
You feel safe. You're content working regular hours with overtime for Taehyung. At ease being in a relationship with Jimin. Joyed to be loved by your fiancé's family. Happy to spend time with Yoongi and talk about whenever.
baby where are youuu
Jimin glances to his phone and he has a ghost of a smile knowing you've come home early, wanting to spend time with you ever since this morning when you left early.
He's just about to reply to say he's on the way to his car but Yoongi jogs all the way from his studio to catch him, excited eyes pinning him down.
“Where do you think you’re going? We need to meet someone.”
He scrunches his nose, genuinely having no clue to who Yoongi's pertaining to. “At 9 in the evening?”
Yoongi doesn't mind working overtime but he does mind when it's a Friday, making Jimin confused on why it's him who's pleading to stay back to accompany him when normally, Yoongi would be the first person out of the door.
“Yeah, she wanted to atleast introduce herself to us before we start working for real next week.”
“She?” Jimin backtracks in thought, eyes widening in slow realization. “Hold on, do you mean-“
“Surprise,” Yoongi breathlessly smiles, shimmying his hands around in sincere happiness. “I signed in Son Eunji awhile ago. We’re gonna produce her EP.”
Jimin feels cathartic because it's the Son Eunji he's always had the hots for artistically. Normally it would be the artists fawning around producers but when it comes to her, the tables are turned. She's known for her groundbreaking talent and persona, not to mention her excellent work ethic that makes her a dream to work with.
He’s about to type in a text how he’ll be later to come home than usual as Yoongi practically drags him back in to the studio, knowing you wouldn't mind because he already told you a couple times before how his and Yoongi's are to work with Eunji.
You can wait.
He doesn’t manage to send in the text because Eunji is buzzed into the studio immediately, all-smiles with her hands outstretched to eagerly meet the producers she wanted to work with for a long time likewise.
You can wait.
( ♡ )
Any rest day of yours that coincides with Jimin's is the day that you become the happiest.
It's sleep-induced talks that are intoxicating when the both of you are awake, but barely enough to even stand up and make plans on how to spend the rest day with each other.
You stay pressed to his side with your hand on his chest, his own hand drawing circles on your neck as he floats in and out of his several dozen catnaps he takes when his mind decided that he wouldn't be in deep sleep anymore.
“Would you love me if I was a grasshopper?”
“You know I hate grasshoppers,” Jimin barely blinks at your sudden question because he's unfazed at this point, yawning as he turns to cuddle into you more. “But if it’s you, then I guess I will.”
You're aware that he hates the little green things with too many limbs with a burning passion, entertained at the consideration that he wouldn't hate you even if you're the creature that makes his skin crawl.
“What if you had no way knowing that it’s me as a grasshopper?”
He hums thoughtfully.
“I’m sure it’s you. I know when it’d be you.”
You smile while your eyes are closed, pressing a noisy kiss to his jaw that makes him giggle.
“What if I’m just like every grasshopper out there?”
“Then I’d be kind to every grasshopper I see,” Jimin opens his eyes to see yours staring right back at him, putting a tiny kiss on the tip of your nose. “But you’re the only one I’d love.”
( ♡ )
Jimin shouldn't be surprised that you leave earlier and come home later than he does.
He asked you once why you've been picking doing overtime everyday for the past two weeks yet he gets no verbal answer, just receiving a smile from you as if it's gonna explain everything.
He wouldn't dare think that you're seeing someone else — you would never. The moment you climb into bed once you get home and pass out, Jimin tiptoes out from bed as silently as he could, going to the laundry basket to try and sniff your clothes.
There's no stench of liquor. No smoke. No sweat that reeked of clubs. Nothing that would point him to the conclusion that you come home late because you get wasted every night.
He doesn't know why you've basically left him alone for the whole two weeks and the only thing he sees of you is either when you call him during lunchbreaks or when he gets to stare at you while you sleep. It's frustrating to say the least, trying to ask discreetly a couple more times but you dodge your way around them.
You feel guilty, of course you do. It's an incessant guilt that you feel because you haven't been able to take care of Jimin the past two weeks but you know it's for a good cause — a good and loving cause because you want to save enough money to book him an appointment with Taehyung's tailor and get his wedding suit made.
“Gonna be late for ten minutes max. Mr. Kim wants me to rearrange some of his appointments for tomorrow. I’ll be quick I promise!!!”
Jimin sighs because as happy he is that he gets to see you awake tonight, the word late sits bitter on his tongue and he knows not to expect anything from you.
Instead, he chooses to just stay in his studio and just start packing for home when you send him the text that you’re done. That way, you’d be earlier to arrive at home before he does and you're the one who waits for him.
Is it petty? A little, he thinks. Would it really just take ten minutes? Not likely, he's sure of.
He's dejected but gets out of his wits when there's multiple rings on his door that's equipped with a security system, only being opened with either a thumbprint or a passcode that only he bears.
He unlocks his door without even looking at the tiny monitor to see who it is, his eyes doubling in size when he sees Eunji standing right in front of him.
“I bought ramen!”
She's gorgeous, that much he allows himself to think of. She's literally an idol and you can't blame anyone to think she would look otherwise, but even without all the glam nor the intricate outfits, she's really pretty.
She's bare-faced in a hoodie that's four sizes too big on her because Jimin recalls her repeatedly exclaiming how the hell is it so cold in their studios, later taking back her previous statements to say she'd withstand it because the cold helps her think better and therefore produce more thoughtful lyrics.
Jimin transparently reacts with how he's surprised Eunji's still in the building in the first place, the girl immediately registering the shock on her producer's face as she sheepishly explains.
“Funny story. I bought two, one for you and Yoongi. But he came home earlier than I expected and you’re here and I haven’t had dinner yet,” she rocks herself back and forth on her house slippers she brought all the way home to here. “So here I am.”
“Thank you for the dinner, Eunji," Jimin chuckles as he humbly takes the plastic bag from her outstretched hands, a little confused when she slightly bows after and walks away. "Where are you going? It's okay, come eat with me."
There's no harm in eating dinner with his client; his collaborator. No harm in eating dinner right now either because you probably won't take just ten minutes in the office.
Eunji's genuinely surprised as Jimin beckons her to come in, closing the door behind her as she points to the table he set the ramen on.
“Really? You sure? Yoongi mentioned that you have a wife, I wouldn’t want to impose.”
Jimin's confused why Yoongi would refer to you as his wife but his friend knows exactly what he was doing when he did it, a sort of gut instinct to try and establish your place around certain people in the studio.
He thinks it's a solid plan — he just didn't know that Jimin would correct her.
“Oh no, no. I don’t have a wife. She’s just a fiancée.”
She raises her brows at the back and forth but puts up her cup of iced tea in a mock toast, smiling warmly. “Congrats to you nonetheless.”
Jimin merely smiles but says nothing, once again thanking her for the food before he sets his sight on it.
He must've froze while he was thinking why Yoongi would say that when of all people, he should know his and your relationship status, because Eunji snaps him out of his trance, a worried look on her visage.
“Hey, are you okay? You seem troubled.”
“You noticed?” he tilts his head at the candid observation.
Eunji looks even more confused that Jimin is confused that she noticed, the natural worry ticking in her mind. “Of course. Who wouldn’t? You can tell me, if you want. Or we could just eat in silence, it’s okay. Whatever makes you happy.”
He freezes for a second because he's speechless.
A good kind of speechless that gets him weak at the knees.
Whatever makes you happy.
And so Jimin tells her — tells her all about the troubles of his heart.
But true to your word, you only take up ten minutes. It’s been two hours since you arrived at home and if not for your text, Jimin wouldn’t have noticed how he’s late because he’s had such a happy time with Eunji.
With her.
He blinks in remorse to look at his phone to see the time, your texts greeting him instantly.
“Oh. She’s uh, she’s already there," he says it but for some reason he's disappointed. She's already there at home, he wants to continue, but the home never leaves his lips.
He gets up somberly, half-sad to have a heartfelt conversation cut short with her but also half-jittery to come home to you.
“See you tomorrow, Eunji. Drive safe. Tell me if you need anything.”
Jimin’s been a little more excited to drive to work and a little more dreadful when it’s time to come home to his apartment — to come home to you.
He seeks out Eunji more this time. Takes the liberty to buy everyone in studio a coffee but he delivers it to her himself. He lingers around for lunchtime and lets Eunji steal his portions because she likes mashed potatoes a lot. He ignores Yoongi’s inquiring glances at him every once in a while.
Yoongi doesn’t know what’s happening but he informs you nonetheless. After all, he’s the reason Jimin got introduced to you in the first place. He feels some sort of unspoken responsibility for being both your friends. He knows he’d feel some sort of guilt if he doesn’t tell you what he sees.
You read his updates constantly.
( ♡ )
There's a heartburn in your chest and you don't know how to get rid of it.
It first appears when Yoongi texts you at night to ask if Jimin already came home. You bring the question back to him because he's with him longer than you are within the day, but it's when he sends the text reading "you know i would always be honest to you, right?" is when the ache in your chest makes its first appearance.
Yoongi's honest, you know he is. He finds no benefit from lying to you even if it's to make you feel better. He's upset you a dozen times when he tells you that your attempt at kimchi stew is gonna make his kidneys fail, but that's when you knew that Yoongi would never lie to you — even if he's seen you work for hours trying to perfect the dish.
Even if Jimin's his friend. Even if you're his friend.
You didn't even know that they're producing for Son Eunji because you thought that the moment they'd get to, Jimin would come home to you excited while hugging you because you both know that it's one of his biggest aspirations as producer; working with an artist he admired, and his work being recognized and praised.
The heartburn makes you panic at first because you had to rethink if there was something in the food you've gotten, and more importantly, if Taehyung has the same heartburn that you do because whatever you get for him, you get for yourself.
You rush to his office in a tiny frenzy but seeing that he's okay and calm and not hunching over with how his chest burns and his throat feels like it wants to throw up, you know that it's just you.
"I quit my job."
You say to Jimin while he eats the dinner you've prepared and the words slip out of you almost hesitantly, but once they do, you feel oddly relieved.
You don't know the reaction you were anticipating in the first place but it certainly wasn't your fiancé burying his face in his hands in front of you, groaning as he massages his temples.
“Why would you do that?” he almost seethes and you're confused why he's anything but happy, not knowing what you did to deserve that kind of reaction. “You know our wedding’s just six months away, Y/N. You know I can’t do it all alone.”
The realization hits you that Jimin's concerned about your resignation because he thought you were jobless, not once considering the why question to it.
It was hard for you to get through this day alone because the thought of leaving Mr. Kim, Taehyung, wrung you dry and you came to know how much you care for him as a boss. You reminded him to never skip his meals and to wear his glasses when he looks at his desktop for long periods at a time which is practically every day.
Taehyung was shell-shocked the moment you tendered in your letter and he didn't bother hiding it, not bothering either to hide from you the crestfallen expression on his face as he tries to ask why you would quit so suddenly.
You've quit your job and had a rough day and the first reaction of Jimin's is to hiss at you, making you defensive and small at the same time.
“But you’re not doing it all alone.”
You pay, of course you do. There’s a shared spreadsheet between the two of you and if Jimin tries to look closely, he’d know that you’re paying almost just as much as he does. It's a 55/45 split, if he really wants to be technical. Your pay isn't low but it's nowhere as near what he earns from a single song alone.
Jimin snickers and it makes you exhale heavily, adding insult to the injury as he boredly flicks the pasta his plate.
“Mhmm, sure. If it makes you happy, go for it.”
There’s no real happiness to his tone because he sounds deadly sarcastic and it flares you up from the inside, clenching your jaw as you push your plate away from you.
“You’re not letting me finish,” you exhale shakily. “I’m quitting my job to do my real one.”
The emphasis is what makes Jimin look up, knitting his brows in sincere confusion. “Your real-?”
It takes only a second for the gears to click in his mind until the worry plagues his features, tilting his head in a soft whisper.
“Why would you do that?”
The sudden change of his demeanor makes the heartburn bloom in your chest and you could just swear that it's not the pasta you watched over while it cooked al dente.
He's concerned to why you wouldn't meet his eyes, leaning his body more into the table until you finally look at him.
“Being a pilot isn’t your passion, baby.”
“And neither is being a personal assistant,” you reply back, even if it's an occupation you felt happiness in. “But this job... it pays the bills, Jimin. Even leaves a big spare. I wouldn’t have to budget in binders.”
You both know that your potential salary could and would be even higher than the monthly earnings he rakes in and it's the drive you have that convinces you to just do it. You don't want Jimin to feel like he's the only one putting food on the table and paying wedding suppliers left and right, even if you already contribute more than a significant amount than he'd acknowledge.
“Besides, flying somehow used to be my passion. I’m fine. I’ll learn to love it in one way or another.”
“Won’t you be reminded of your dad every time you fly?”
He could've worded it better but maybe it's just what you needed, a cold tub of water that he dips you into repeatedly now that the words echo in your head.
Your dad who was a pilot that cheated on your mom with a flight attendant or several.
Your dad who’s now just recently tried to reach out to you and gave you the idea to work in the industry in the first place. The same one that insisted that you go to the same academy that he went, to study the same bachelor’s degree that he did, to fly in the same way he did.
Your dad who gave you a spot in the very airline company that he’s now the president of, promising you a swift job and enormous pay. Maybe even dinner with him as you try and mend your broken relationship.
“I’ll learn how not to.”
It’ll pay the bills.
Jimin doesn’t question, doesn’t linger. Doesn’t try to ask if you’re okay considering he knows what you’ve been through and how you swore you’d never fly a plane after graduation.
“M’kay. Whatever you want to do.”
You don’t want to, but you need to.
( ♡ )
You know it was coming eventually.
You know it was coming one way or another because Yoongi texts you more frequently now. Tried to be more caring and soft around the edges as he just coaxed you into sleeping without waiting for Jimin because he's working.
Knew it was coming because the heartburn that settles in your chest has never left even once throughout the following weeks that you had. It never left as you fulfilled your last two weeks with Taehyung and tried to find an exceptional personal assistant to replace you.
The drilling feeling in your chest never left once even if you see Jimin smiling at his phone even if he's with you. Even if he's next to you, his mind is on someone else and you know that it isn't you. He feels pitiful at times at your hopeful look when he laughs at his phone so he tries to show you the messages, filling you in with jokes that she sends so you wouldn't feel left alone.
He thinks trying to tell you about Eunji would make you feel better but it does the harrowing opposite, alienating you further from him and the happiness he feels with her.
You know that Jimin doesn't sleep with her. The moment he climbs into bed once he gets home and passes out, you tiptoe out from bed as silently as you could, going to the laundry basket to try and sniff his clothes.
There's no stench of liquor. No smoke. No sweat that reeked of sex or atleast the aftermath of it. Nothing that would point you to the conclusion that he comes home late because he spent the large sum of his nights to sleep with her.
He doesn't sleep with her, but you know he's happy with her.
You're not surprised — you shouldn't be. You shouldn't be shocked when Jimin comes home way earlier than he normally did, lingers around you and trails after you like a lost puppy, and only settles once you've finished eating dinner in silence.
He says it in a whisper with his head down like he's ashamed but you know he isn't — he shouldn't.
"I think we should stop."
He's worded it in a way that is ambiguous, carefully crafted to not hurt you as much. He said stop, not break up.
Stop, instead of let's not get married anymore.
Stop, instead of I'm not happy being with you anymore.
Stop, instead of I'm making a religion out of someone who isn't you, but this time, she isn't a fallible god like you are.
You barely blink as the other shoe drops, the pain blooming in your chest that it physically weakens your voice.
"Is it Eunji?"
You ask even if you know, only ever asking in the first place to hear it from Jimin himself.
He doesn't answer but it seems to hurt even worse, giving you the confirmation you've longed to hear ever since Yoongi told you to guard your heart. It made you curious for the longest time and at first, you just wanted to know if it was true — but the moment that you do now, you almost long for the time you wish you didn't.
"I'll move out by the end of the week."
Your voice cracks by the end of your sentence and Jimin doesn't know what to make of it but he remains rooted in his seat, biting at his upper lip because seeing you fall undone triggers a foreign reaction from him that he's not familiar with.
It hits you all at once.
You don't know how to say goodbye to his parents whom you came to love and even look up to as parental figures, do they hate you?
Have they known this whole time of how Jimin is happy with Eunji? Have they all known that he'd end up with her somehow given his career and admiration for her, and you were just a filler all this time?
Do they love you as an indiviudal or do they love you out of obligation because you're connected to their son?
You don't know how to say goodbye to Soomin who's turning eighteen two weeks from now, will she miss you?
Does she know about her older brother's crush on Eunji even back on her rookie days? Has the thought of her having a famous and talented sister-in-law ever crossed her mind?
Does she genuinely look up to you as her big sister or is she just vulnerable and has never had a sisterly figure in her life?
Everything hits you all at once because your heartburn doesn't feel like one anymore, the ache spreading all throughout your body that makes your limbs weak and your eyes cry even harder.
You move — you just move and let your instincts take over. You barely know that you're packing your most needed necessities to your suitcase with the repeated promise that you'll get out of Jimin's hair as soon as you can, wanting to get every last bit of your stuff out of his apartment.
Jimin watches you from behind as he sees you working on overdrive to stuff your things into your bags, seeing your shoulders shake until they no longer could because you freeze in your actions.
He's never shed a tear once starting from when he laid the words down to you at the dining table, but now that you stop, now that your back is turned to him yet frozen, it's when he feels his eyes stinging.
You turn around to him carrying a well-crafted box with crepe flowers in the middle, hands shaking as you get closer to make him hold it.
You're just about to lose it.
"Please give this to Soomin on her birthday. Y-you don't even have to tell her it's from me if it makes you uncomfortable. Please just — please just make sure it gets to her. I'm not gonna ask for anything more."
Jimin feels the box to weigh a thousand tons as you force him to hold it, letting go as soon as you felt his hands grip it as you wring your own from beside you, the heavy tears clouding your vision as you heave.
"Do you hate me?"
He wants to comfort you so badly but he feels wrong. He feels distraught holding the present you have for his sister, his family, his wellbeing still being the last thing in your mind as he practically kicked you out of his life without a moment's notice.
"I'm sorry, Jimin. I-I'm sorry I didn't quit sooner."
He wants to tell you that it's not about the money. Frankly speaking, he doesn't even know what it's about. There are no words on the tip of his tongue because he can't think of any, his own tears falling down.
The box feels heavy on his hands but his heart feels even more heavy when he sees you looking up at him, slowly disappearing from his point of view.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happy just like how she does."
Jimin almost throws the box down on the floor when he sees you kneeling in front of him, a warning glint to his voice as a sob wracks through his ribs.
"Get up, Y/N."
He sees you descend even faster to your knees, making his head shake as he nudges your knee with his foot.
"Don't do this. Don't do this to me," he pleads when he sees you crying even more loudly, burying your face into your hands. "Get up right now."
"I'm gonna wire you all the refunds that I could possibly get," for the wedding, you want to say. "If they don't, I'll wire you the exact amount instead."
"Stop."
Jimin's voice trembles and it cuts off completely when he sees you turn your gaze to your ring finger, taking off your engagement ring because the diamond that used to gleam up at you is now insulting you.
"Y/N, please-..."
"I can't keep this."
You admit with your whole heart.
"If you've kept the receipt, you can return it. I-I don't know how long you've had this but if they don't accept it, please just sell it. If you can't keep the money after you sell it, just donate it to charity."
Jimin chokes back his own sobs, throwing his head back.
"If you wanna keep this, just tuck it away. If you," your voice cuts off on its own accord, "i-if you end up marrying Eunji, don't give this ring to her, please. She deserves her own."
"Get up, Y/N!
Jimin's heaving but you won't meet his eyes, pulling your hands away as he's the one left frozen when you zip up your belongings.
Your hands that no longer bear his ring — your hands that should no longer hold his.
( ♡ )
There has never been a more terse silence in their household.
It's only been a few weeks and it's only now that Jimin drove back home to tell his family what happened, the entirety of how it came to be.
His father quit smoking decades ago but he says he needs to go out at the porch to get some fresh air.
His mother likes maintaining eye contact but she can't bring herself to look at him, excusing herself to go to the bathroom.
Jimin's sat silently on the dining table, in the same place where you used to sit whenever you came over, completely parallel to where Soomin sits.
She's deadly silent — more silent than she ever used to be.
"Are you mad at me?"
He asks her and he almost wishes he hadn't because his little sister looks up at him with red-rimmed eyes as it's clear she's trying her best not to break down right then and there.
"Why would I be?"
She doesn't sound convincing at all but she chokes it down, rubbing her thumb on her knuckles to try and quell the anxiety deep within her. "You're my brother, Jimin. I'll always be on your side."
Soomin stands up from her seat as casually as she could, throwing in a statement she didn't know could ever convince anyone.
"Besides, Y/N probably deserved it."
He wants to say that you don't. That you did nothing to deserve him finding someone else to be vulnerable to. He convinces himself that you didn't deserve to be cheated on emotionally. That you've done nothing in order to be hurt this way.
At the same time, Jimin convinces himself that he shouldn't feel guilty for finding someone else. Someone who isn't you but makes him happy and unreal. Someone who takes all the pressure away from his shoulders.
He's trying to justify his means in making himself happy — that he isn't selfish by focusing on himself and his needs and wants. Turns himself blind at the thought that his happiness and peace of mind cost him yours, but it shouldn't matter because after all, Jimin's given you more than you've given to him, right?
It's justified. He's tended to your needs before and understood clearly. It should only be natural for you to give him what he desires — even if it's to detach yourself from the picture.
At this point, Jimin forgets that he's engaged to you. That it's six months away from the wedding and you've already had your gown-fitting. That most of your needed wedding suppliers are already paid and geared for your marriage six months from now. That Soomin keeps asking him every week about the preparations and stresses about the perfect sister-in-law wedding gift she should give to you.
He took a peek at your birthday present to Soomin the day after you left and he just about froze, knowing that he's not the only one hurt in your absence.
A ring in the shape of a tiara that matches your own piece of jewelry. A custom-made music box in the tune of what Jimin used to hum to her to sleep when she was born, a tidbit you've known through their mother. Thank you cards for her small business. Your old airline crew pin from when you were a student pilot that she always longingly looked at whenever she skimmed through your closet. A framed picture of the three of you with Soomin in the middle, her happiest state after tagging along to look for reception venues. A framed picture of Soomin and you the day Jimin brought you home to meet his family, a candid picture of you smiling at her that he took secretly while you've both come down to get water downstairs, bathed in the light of the fridge.
All of those in a box with your handwriting.
to my sister; i'm happy you exist. happy birthday. i love you.
Jimin convinces himself to get rid of the guilt and the hollowness he feels in his bones. The regret that ebbs from within. The anxiety of you not being on his side that manifests in his breathing.
It’s the heartburn he feels when he sees that even without your things, his apartment’s taken to the shapes of you and your mark.
The heartburn he endures when he sees Soomin completely unlike herself and is rewatching all the corny shows she hated but you liked.
The heartburn he experiences when he mistakenly gets a call that shouldn’t have been made to his number.
You used to surround him all at once but now you’re no longer here.
I'm not an angst reader and this is why LOOOL. You can really feel the emotions here, they feel really raw. Love the writing, it makes you picture the scenes really well. Will be waiting for the update, probs crying too😂😂
