WELCOME TAXIDERMISTS! WELCOME GUTTERS AND STUFFERS!
Not today Justin
No title available
$LAYYYTER
wallacepolsom

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Love Begins
we're not kids anymore.
RMH
🪼
cherry valley forever
noise dept.
No title available

★

Kiana Khansmith
Jules of Nature
todays bird
Claire Keane
Misplaced Lens Cap
occasionally subtle
Peter Solarz
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United States
seen from Australia

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from France

seen from Türkiye

seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom

seen from Mexico
@tomlandrymiddleschoolrules
WELCOME TAXIDERMISTS! WELCOME GUTTERS AND STUFFERS!
"Hey, Bobby! If Boomhauer and me had a baby, this is what it would look like!"
BOBBY: Hey, Joseph. Nice skeletons! Knife through the eye, huh? That's probably what killed him.
DALE: So, do you have a regular place you buy your feathers and bonnets and so forth?
REDCORN (BEAT): It's a website.
JOSEPH: You know, Dad, sometimes the coolest thing to do is to make your own path and not kill a panda.
DALE (GRUMBLING): Yeah, whatever.
LAOMA: A heart attack took my husband away from me to the next life. But I believe he returned as the gentle wind that blows through this meadow, even now.
BILL: My god. That's the most beautiful description of a haunted meadow I've ever heard.
KAHN: Dauterive! My mother get home two hours late last night! You work her overtime!?
(HANK, DALE, & BOOMHAUER STIFLE LAUGHTER)
BILL: Oh, I'm sorry, Kahn. We lost track of the hour.
KAHN: Well that unacceptable! Every time my mother come back from your house, she's sweaty and exhausted!
(HANK, DALE, & BOOMHAUER STIFLE LAUGHTER)
HANK: Come on, guys. Cool it.
KAHN: From now on, you stop riding her so hard!
(UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER)
BILL: So, you guys go to things. Anyone know where I can get two tickets to 'Love Letters' at the Arlen Little Theatre?
DALE: Good lord! Has your ass gotten so fat you need two seats?
BILL: No! I have a friend.
DALE: You can't take a pigeon to the theatre, Bill.
BILL: For your information, she happens to be a lady, and we really like each other. I got to tell you, things got pretty hot and heavy last night.
(BILL LOWERS THE BANDANA AROUND HIS NECK TO REVEAL A HICKIE)
DALE (IMPRESSED): Ohh!
BOOMHAUER (IMPRESSED): Ohh, good one, man!
HANK (IMPRESSED): Way to go, Bill! Anyone we know?
BILL: Yep! It's Kahn's mom.
(EVERYONE SPITS OUT THEIR BEER AND LOOKS DISGUSTED)
DALE: Bill, she's twenty years older than you! She's literally an old maid! ... My god, she's perfect for you. Congratulations, Bill!
BILL: Aw, thanks!
MINH: Howdy, fellas! I see you are all relaxing after a hard day of work!
ALL: Ehh, yeah, well. Just having a beer.
MINH: I bet you wish you had super clean homes to go to like your buddy, Hank!
ALL: Ahh, well, yeah.
MINH: Well, there's good news! My mother-in-law has remaining shifts available at unbeatable prices! Who sign up first?
DALE: Heck, I'll take a day! I could use some Asian fingerprints in there!
MINH: Why not you, Bill? Have you become emotionally attached to your many rats and cockroaches?
BILL: No, they can leave any time they want. I wouldn't care.
MINH: Hire Laoma! She's practically free!
BILL: Well, maybe I should. I just always figured I'd have to be rich to be clean.
BILL: Do you think I'd meet more women if I changed my name to 'Tango'?
HANK (BEAT): Don't change your name again, Bill.
(BOBBY IS IN HIS ROOM, UNDER A BLANKET. HE LIGHTS A CIGARETTE AND THE BLANKET CATCHES ON FIRE. HE BEATS THE FIRE OUT WITH A PILLOW, BUT THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF ANYWAY)
(HANK AND PEGGY ENTER WITH CIGARETTES HANGING OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS)
HANK: What's going on in here!?!
PEGGY: Bobby, what are you doing with a cigarette!? You are gonna burn this house down!
BOBBY: Hey, all right! You guys smoke, too!?
DALE: Yep.
BILL: Yep.
BOOMHAUER: Yep.
(HANK LIGHTS A CIGARETTE)
(DALE, BILL, & BOOMHAUER LOOK AT HANK, SHOCKED)
HANK: Mmmmmmmmm hmm!
BOOMHAUER (ANGRY): Hey, man! Yo! Put that dang ol' thing out, man! Don't! You goin' and lightin' up like that! You gone and lookin' like a dang ol' junkie, man! Go messin' up my head with that secondary nicotine like that, man...
BILL (DISAPPOINTED): Aw, Hank, I thought you gave that up!
DALE (EXCITED): Welcome back, friend! I knew this day would come!
(DALE GOES TO HUG HANK)
HANK: Dale, get off me.