hozier did THAT

Maz | 22 | INFJ | New Orleans --> Seattle --> Boise

[unclefather]

something went wrong in the laboratory when they made me, bestie

[sapphicbeebo]

The saga of finding the perfect relationship name for Syd.

Bonus:

[pissvortex]

i feel like you physically could not attack an orangutan like if you tried they would just look you in the eyes and a wave of inhuman calmness would wash over you

[ratguzzler-deactivated20181213]

orangutan got him

[pissvortex]

orangutan got him

[lailamcquen]

am i seeing this right?????

[kabaks]

YOU WROTE THE RULES. READ THEM. 

[polyglotplatypus]

[literallyallie-blog]

when I was in high school my AP english teacher told us we weren’t allowed to eat in class so I took that as a personal challenge to see what the most ridiculous thing I could eat in class without getting caught was so I started bringing soup to class and as soon as I’d crack the lid of my thermos the tiniest bit this football player that sat like 3 rows in front of me would going “I SMELL MEAT SOMEONE HAS SOUP” and no one ever believed him

[thatsthatflamingo-deactivated20]

The only valid response

[broke-boujeeandlovingmarvel]

staff: no more nsfw tags

Y'all: Oh no how will we tag our nsfw work!?

Intellectuals:

[mossful]

russian pinocchio

[adventure-heart]

It’s Colder in Chicago Illinois than Antartica!❄️

[tarantula-veins-deactivated2023]

This literally looks like a post apocalyptic universe WHY is no one talking about that

[astrodickology]

Well,me and my pussy have come to a decision,

[shelbytaylorexists]

“Don’t buy any Girl Scout cookies!!! They support pLANNED PARENTHOOD!!” me: 

[stephencolbertly]

Bill Hader Was Completely Shocked By His Emmy Win

[biwlw]

when freud said bisexuality is what happens when you dont fully develop a brain he was right and im proof

[monzterzack]

Freud is a lil bitch, my idiocy doesn’t have nothing to do with bisexuality and all to do with my own hubris

[monzterzack]

@pinpirorin ur tags are a blessing

[boymilk-moved-deactivated201903]

full offense but like…. ladies and gentlemen…. this is mambo number 5

[boymilk-moved-deactivated201903]

[fairycosmos]

jameela jamil is like the only famous person i’ve seen that actually Cares about the way girls are being manipulated. celebrities preach and preach about the body positive movement until it’s time to sell fitness tea on their instagram, or until promoting an extremely unhealthy ideal becomes profitable for them in some way. it’s so gross to spew bullshit about self love to an audience of impressionable young people and then in the very next post demand that they buy x product in order to not be hideous lol 

[anarchetypalarchive]

so i’m currently working at a law firm and the other day one of the attorneys was talking to me and he mentioned that he’s “not very confrontational” and i was like you are?? a lawyer???

and he said “yeah but in court there are rules. i can argue with some shmuck in a suit in front of a judge no problem, but when i leave the courthouse and go home i’m not gonna argue with my wife about dinner. there are no rules in our kitchen. i would die.”

[martymartinloki]

there are no rules in our kitchen.  i would die.