Too Long To Tweet

Stuff that's more than 140 characters, I guess.

[liketheghost-deactivated2015012]

totally texas

so is it a thing in (american) english to use “texas” as a word for like, something that’s out of control or chaotic, or as like, “crazy”? like “that party last weekend was totally texas!” 

because that is a thing people say in norwegian and i just think it’s important for americans to know that? 

[narcon9-deactivated20190103]

This makes me so happy, and I’m from New York.

[thegirlwhoisthursday]

Wait, WHAT?!!!!!!

[gretchenalice]

I’m totally gonna start using that.

[toolongtotweet]

I am wondering if this took off as Norwegian slang around the time my Texan nephews moved there.

[stacylambe]

When in Sochi: Gus Swoon-worthy naps with his newly adopted pup and silver medal

[gretchenalice]

This guy is my new favorite.

[toolongtotweet]

Oh man, Winter Olympics, you just got me.

[obamawhitehouse]

Vice President Joe Biden, at the controls of one of Amtrak’s new electric locomotives in Philadelphia.

[toolongtotweet]

You guys know this is 75% of the reason Joe Biden became VP, right?

[obamawhitehouse]

What are the colors of the carpets in The White House? :D

Check it out for yourself with the Google Art Project.

[toolongtotweet]

OK maybe I do. White House is all, LMGTFY.

[obamawhitehouse]

Why don't the Smithsonians ever do historical costume exhibits beyond the First Ladies' dresses? I know they've got amazing pieces in their collection, but they almost never go on display, and when they do it's one or two items in a non-costume exhibit. DC-area historical costume nerds are getting tired of going to NYC for our antique gown fix!

Seems like a great question for smithsonian!

[toolongtotweet]

I don't like this passive-aggressive non-answer.

[wyatted-blog]

[toolongtotweet]

Landry Clarke: The problem is that they keep comparing you to Jason Street. That's like comparing my music to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I'm not the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I mean, I'm my own thing. I'm not any better or any worse. It's just different.

Matt Saracen: You're definitely a whole lot worse.

[toolongtotweet]

It may be presumptuous to say you know more than @benandjerrys about creating and naming pop culturally themed ice cream. But I think Night Cheesecake (dark chocolate with cheesecake and caramel) speaks for itself. 

[ourpresidents]

The Nixon family with their dogs Vicky, Pasha, and King Timahoe around the Christmas tree in the White House residence. 

L-R, President Richard Nixon, Pat Nixon, Julie Eisenhower, David Eisenhower, Tricia Nixon Cox, and Ed Cox.

[toolongtotweet]

Notable because this is around the time Julie started to become more chic than Tricia. (I'd wear Julie's dress TODAY.)

[entertainmentweekly]

It was obviously an unfortunate incident. It kind of made me sad on two accounts. One was that I was very sad that we live in an age when someone takes a picture of another person in a vulnerable moment and rather than delete it, and do the decent thing, sells it. And I’m sorry that we live in a culture that commodifies sexuality of unwilling participants, which takes us back to ‘Les Mis,’ because that’s what my character is.

This is what happens when you ask Anne Hathaway about that time she accidentally showed her Princess Diary to a bunch of photographers. (via entertainmentweekly)

This was some tenth-degree black belt media judo here. Read the setup:

Matt Lauer doesn’t mess around. When he greeted Anne Hathaway on the Today show this morning, the host got right down to business: “Good to see you,” he said. “Seen a lot of you lately.”

Lauer, of course, was referring to Hathaway’s major wardrobe malfunction at Monday’s Les Mis premiere. While exiting her car in a tight Tom Ford gown, the Oscar nominee accidentally flashed a crowd of photographers — who quickly noticed that Hathaway wasn’t wearing underwear.

She didn’t get defensive, she didn’t get flustered, and she brought the conversation back to her primary reason for being on the show in the first place. Damn.

(via kenyatta)

I did not have strong opinions about Anne Hathaway until just now. Obviously, she is fantastic.

[emilyelisabeth-deactivated20130]

Possible…that it’s disgusting

[gretchenalice]

Happy birthday to Elisabeth, who has been making me laugh from stuff she said on the internet since before I knew the rest of y’all. 

[toolongtotweet]

Oh yeah? Well she's been making me laugh since before there was an internet to say things on...

[emilyelisabeth-deactivated20130]

Sorry Sasha and Malia but this is the best First Daughter Christmas Story of All Time.

“In 1977, a surprise gift arrived for 10-year-old Amy Carter – a red, white and blue chain saw. A young friend of Amy’s had reported that the first daughter wanted a chain saw for Christmas because “she likes the way they work.” A White House spokeswoman later clarified, “I think Amy might have said ‘train set,’ not ‘chain saw.’” Nonetheless, more chain saws arrived.”

—

The History of Christmas at the White House (1977-2009)

[vpbiden-deactivated20140201]

In honor of Joe’s 70th birthday on November 20th, here’s some of his best, and funniest moments. Happy Birthday, Mr. Vice President!

Joe Biden on Jill Biden: “I will not leave the house- I swear to god, until she kisses me and gives me a hug”

Joe Biden fist bumps Kal Penn while wearing aviators

Joe Biden’s 2012 DNC Speech

Joe Biden guest stars on Parks and Recreation

President Obama and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid make fun of Joe Biden because women love him- “People were propositioning him” “Where were we where all those women started saying, Joe you’re hot?”

Joe Biden on Carmen Sandiego

Joe Biden does a magic trick

Joe Biden and Speaker of the House John Boehner engage in man hug, Boehner brags about golf

Joe Biden’s Top Ten on David Letterman

Joe Biden cries after his son Beau nominates him at the DNC

Joe Biden gets choked up talking about his past at the 2008 vice presidential debate

“With all due respect, that’s a bunch of malarkey”

Joe Biden talks about his stuttering problem on The View

Joe Biden to Obama: “This is a big fucking deal”

Joe Biden gives 17-year-old girl a ride to his rally

Joe Biden endorses same-sex marriage

“I promise you, the President has a big stick”

Dr. Jill Biden makes accidental joke about Joe Biden’s penis, Joe laughs

“America’s Happy Warrior” walks onto stage, fist pumps

Joe Biden makes a really awkward sex joke about his parents

I Want Joe Biden, Need Joe Biden

Joe Biden’s “It Gets Better”

Obama and Biden go on a burger run

Joe Biden sworn in as 47th Vice President

Joe Biden’s 2008 DNC speech

Dr. Jill Biden’s 2012 DNC Speech

[toolongtotweet]

No Joe Biden is my homeboy??? This list is malarkey.

[toolongtotweet]

Parenting Means You Can Be Simultaneously Distressed and Amused, Right?

Nathan got stung by a bee this afternoon. It was really terrible. He was riding a high from getting five stickers on his kindergarten sticker chart in one day (this is unheard of; the most well-behaved boy in his class was the one who told me first after class and I could tell he was super impressed by Nathan's mad good behavior. Nathan is a really good kid [not that I am at all biased] but this was a Big Deal, kindergarten-speaking. He got to pick a treat two days in a row which is like the EGOT of kindergarten) and we were expecting the Best Afternoon Ever since we had then headed straight from school to his friend's birthday party. Except we were there for about a minute when he got stung by a bee.

It was just awful- there were quite a few bees at the park and we had to hightail it out of there because he was totally freaked out and upset. He had some Benadryl and an ice pack but the whole car ride home was losing it. He was hurt, and he had been looking forward to this party for weeks, and his dad's been in the hospital for a week and just, you know, it was the worst. And while I felt AWFUL, part of me was also DYING because man.

"BEES ARE THE WORST! IT FEELS LIKE I WAS STUNG BY A BEE!!!!"

After I explained how bees die after stinging: "I AM GLAD! I AM GLAD THAT BEE IS DEAD! I HOPE IT NEVER GETS TO COME BACK TO LIFE! I HOPE IT WAS THE COMMANDER OF THE BEES AND NOW ALL THE BEES DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!

IF I WAS A BEE I WOULD BE PROUD OF THAT BEE BUT I AM NOT PROUD OF THAT BEE!"

He is okay now- he is on the couch with a cupcake and Curious George, and I am going to have his friend over for a make up pinata. So it is okay to laugh at some of that now, right? COMMANDER OF THE BEES are you kidding me.

[toolongtotweet]

Affordable Care Act per my kindergartener

"So now if you try to say 'No you can't go to the doctor' the police will come and say 'That's not the law!' And Obama will give you juice with lots of water because that's healthier."

[emilyelisabeth-deactivated20130]

There’s nothing I love more than having something else to do when I watch TV.

[toolongtotweet]

Am totally stitching this for boys' room.

[mindysciddles-deactivated201704]

Gabby Douglas gets a high-five from First Lady Michelle Obama during her appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (x)

[toolongtotweet]

I hope they are plotting to take over the country. I would totally follow them into a new mandatory J.Crew/organic garden/killer floor move world order. Think about how fantastic our arms would look, America!