the cats are out to eat my ENTIRE family and this week i met them.
i saw them with my own two eyes and i lived to warn others.
and I’ve been desperate to yell about this on the internet, but I’ve had to delete this post like three times now. because what is there to say, other than the cats wait patiently for me at the foot of my bed? they have slipped themselves into the deepest cracks of my life and rear their heads when they know i have become too brave.
what is death, if not the relentless, thundering paws of a thousand cats descending upon you? they bite and rip and gnaw, and still your fingers grasp at their fur to save yourself. i often think maliciousness cannot coexist with life, that our souls are filtered through some great net of goodness that catches everything horrible before we are born, and now i know it to be true. there is evil in the silo and it is not the people. it is the floor 10 cats.
thinking about it now, 100,000 is trivial in the face of eternal nothingness (but creature if ur reading this i will pay u back)
immortality means nothing. my body doesn't age but what does youthfulness mean to a hungry belly and feline teeth? they will sink their teeth into me and no amount of fame can ever stop the tearing of flesh.
just as waking could not first exist without sleeping, all things are derived from their opposite state of being- death cannot and does not exist without first life. and life cannot exist without death. no god is ever safe, will ever be safe. godhood is the great façade and, if you peel back that sticky mask, they share a singular horrible truth with everyone else. death can be prolonged and stretched out but never utterly destroyed. while one may believe in the immortality of the soul (thank u socrates), death is such a defining event that the soul cannot emerge unchanged. it cannot emerge as me as I am now because me as I am is an extension of the contexts of life. whatever happens or doesn’t happen after death would constitute an entirely other being, if you can even call it a being because it simply cannot be without life as we understand it.
so like hello????? why aren't people more kind when they are alive and have the capacity for kindness??? why do people do such cruel things when this is our only shot at experiencing the joys of friendship and life??? if there is nothingness after this shouldn't we relish in the wonderful feelings of right now??? (i'll tell u why its capitalism dividing us but some people aren't ready for that convo)
i am a hungry dog on the lap of life. there is only this i know to be certain, that i have always known to be certain; i will die before i am old. because of the curse.
it is a terrifying thought that lingers in everything i do. for such small four-legged beasts cats cast enormous shadows.
but in other more important news i sat on a bench and ate tiramisu ice-cream with one of my pet rats today!! her name is Pigeon and she is the sweetest of my little rats. she likes to sleep in my pocket and in return I feed her berries. being paranoid all the time is actually incredibly exhausting because it feels I have to do all the big scary thinking for everyone else. but rats know no fear!!! she understands me
tldr; you must eat sugar to defend yourself from the horrors.
