Tales Of The Abused

My story and yours

[usedandabused4]

Yes, it is possible to have had good memories with ur abuser and still hate them and know that non of it was ever true. It’s not crazy to miss the good times and know that it was equally terrible. But if you feel this way ever, just remember you’re always better off with the ones who made a choice to ruin your life.

[blackdxlilahs]

I wish I could have been a kid. I wish I had a childhood , and not a series of abuses. I miss being a kid because I didn’t get to enjoy it. I wish I was a kid, ever.

[dusterluster]

so i started a new book

*drags hands down face*

[nothingweirdhere]

i grew up too fast

[abuse-support-posts]

In abusive family environments, punishments are one of the most dubious things out there.

While I personally don’t really approve of punishment of any kind (I think it’s unnecessary), at least in a nonabusive household, the punishments are well-defined, tame, and allow you to keep your dignity. Rules are clear, so you know exactly what to expect. If you get grounded for a week, that’s the punishment, no strings attached. After the week is up, everything is resolved.

An abusive household breaks all of those trends. Punishment is never consistent; one day dropping a plate is no big deal, the next time it warrants endless berating and humiliation. Nothing is ever tame with an abuser, even if they show restraint. They act with malice, and don’t care if your dignity is shredded in the process. They use a punishment to justify any abuse they heap onto you.

Living with an abuser always feels like you’re being punished.

[usedandabused4]

Nightmares

They aren’t specifically ones that will make me cry or scream but I’m just really tired of dreaming the same thing for the last +2 months of my life and I would like to not. So if anyone knows how to fix their brain let me know.

[drumshoww]

dear trauma survivors,

here’s a little something my therapist told me that helped me out:

even people with the worst trauma tell themselves “it could have been worse”

even people with the most unpreventable trauma blame themselves.

every single person who has gone through trauma beats themself up over it.

those thoughts that you shouldve done something different or that you just need to “get over it”… they aren’t true. they’re just symptoms of real, valid trauma. what you went through was hard. no human being deserves to go through that. you are allowed to be upset. you are allowed to feel angry and scared. your feelings are valid, and it was not your fault.

[openblogtomyabusivemother]

Love Crumbs

This is the term I came up with for what abusive parents offer when they supposedly “aren’t being abusive”. Every once in awhile, they’ll offer tiny little crumbs of love and if you’ve been abused your entire childhood, even if that abuse has been what our society sees as subtle, with mostly neglect coupled with love crumbs, you aren’t going to understand that this isn’t normal. So let me tell you, it isn’t normal. Normal, well-adjusted, healthy, parents who are capable of love, don’t offer love crumbs, they offer the whole entire cake.

Here’s how you know if your parents are dropping love crumbs instead of the whole cake: if you mostly feel desperate to be loved but then you think to yourself, there must be something wrong with me to want so much love because there was that one time last year when my mom did that loving thing for like 5 seconds…

Sound familiar?

[morganalefays]

no offense but im going to get better and im taking all of you up with me

[threeraccoons]

Some Things I Didn’t Realize Were Complex Trauma Symptoms

I don’t usually post personal shit but my friend and I were talking and there were some things she didn’t know were PTSD related, and sometimes it’s just so weird and out there so. Some stuff I learned too late were caused by trauma:

- Nightmares that have *nothing* to do with your trauma

- Getting angry at anything that startles you/is loud/is irriatating

- Becoming alarmingly calm in situations of crisis/chaos

- Shaking, just, all the time

- Needing very little sleep to function effectively

- Massive mood swings that often get mistaken for personality or mood disorders

- Feeling like there is a layer of dirt on you/that your skin is dirty and needing to get it off

- Believing you will die young and alone !! Big one!!

- Looking for reasons to cut people out of your life

- Needing things to be exactly as you like them to be – not necessarily clean/organized but just to be a specific way and be within your control, and getting angry when it is not *this one gets mistaken for OCD v often

- Preferring high stress/very busy lifestyles to keep occupied

- Needing compression/pressure (ie tight shoelaces, heavy coats and blankets, snug fitting hats, etc) to feel comfortable/safe

- Discomfort with silence

- Very sensitive to heat, smell, and lighting

- Ringing in ears!! I had no idea about this one tinnitus is not that uncommon for ptsd, even if there was no direct head trauma involved

- Physical numbness, often in arms & hands when a flashback or panic attack is about to start

- Derailing conversations when they are causing stress

- Sudden and unexplained onsets of just the most deep sense of melancholy (often accompanied by a lot of tears)

These are just the ones I know of from experience, if there are any others ppl know of and were surprised by pls add. But yea ptsd is not always flashbacks and panic attacks and avoiding triggers, it’s also just random small shit that effects how you exist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[brittleyed]

well shit

[toadallybpd]

Fuck I love you guys so much and it really hurts me to see so many of you living with extreme pain every single day. I wish there was more I could do to help. It pains me that there’s only so much I can do. No one deserves trauma or mental illness. You guys deserve so much more love.

[wadefeltonism-deactivated202106]

rb if you’d wipe all pedophiles off this earth

[mohawkmama]

It’s sad that there are only 13k notes on this..m

[thiccdaddy-mbaku]

put this on all 3 of my blogs

[migo-is-a-yeti-deactivated20181]

100%

[the-half-blood-nuisance]

!!!!!!!!!!!

[moved-to-saltcircuit]

dealing with people who are spacing out

DON’T: -hit them -yell at them -wave in their face in excess

DO: -say their name once or twice -tap them gently and if they don’t respond, -wait patiently for them to snap back into reality

[moved-to-saltcircuit]

this still applies yo

[usedandabused4]

im scared

[copingundertheradar]

Say it until it’s your heart beat: it wasn’t my fault. I will not give up on myself.

[swyrs-deactivated20210807]

not recognizing abusive behavior as abuse until you’re out of that situation is not at all unusual and does not mean your experiences are less real, less valid, that the abuse didn’t happen, or that you deserved it

[into-the-weeds]

#the hallmark of trauma is that it breaks your brain’s ability to build a consistent narrative#some researchers believe that’s the DEFINITION of trauma (via star-anise)

[unrelentingembers]

you can only rationalize your trauma so much there isn’t going to necessarily be a good reason or even an answer for some of the things that have happened to you