I am writing this with a heavy heart. It took me a few days to find the words because I never thought that it would come to this. I didn’t think it would happen so soon. But now I think it’s time to share my feelings about Top Gear ending, even though it brings a bit of sadness. Like Richard said, it’s the end of an era. And I’m not afraid to admit that I’m still in denial of it all. During the whole “fracas” business, I didn’t want to believe that there’d be a possibility of Top Gear ending because I had invested 3 years of my life for this show. It’s amazing how attached I became. I began to grow a certain fondness and liking for the three presenters. I honestly felt like I knew them on a personal level as if they were my friends.
My family and friends were well aware of this program, because every time I’d visit, it was the first thing I’d watch. It was a normal routine in my household. A part of my daily life. Some people won’t understand the connection, because to most people it’s “just a TV show”, and it ends just like every other TV show.
But to me it isn’t. It’s much more than that. It had quite a large impact on my life. It brought joy, laughter and happiness to my life. You could also say that I depended on it. Whenever I had a bad day, or a stressful day at work, I knew that I could rely on the boys to make me smile.
When I started watching Top Gear 3 years ago, I didn’t know much about cars, apart from the basics. Sure, I could guess what it was when I saw one, but that’s about it. I didn’t know about torque, understeer/oversteer, or the difference between supercharged and turbocharged. If you had asked me any of these questions 3 years ago, I’d just stare at you with my mouth agape. But now I’ve learned a lot more. I can tell you all of these things. I can tell you what kind of car it is just by hearing the engine. I now know what kind of car to buy based on Jeremy’s review. I’m a woman who knows more about cars than most of my guy friends. And I also get in trouble for driving my parents car too fast and yelling “POWEEER” when I accelerate. My imagination has certainly grown over the past 3 years. Sorry Mom.
I’ve always liked cars. Ever since I was a little girl. And when I discovered that Top Gear was a car show, I was hooked. I did many Top Gear marathons on Netflix. I’d usually watch two or three series over a 12 hour period. Many hours of sleep that I’m still trying to catch up on. But it was all worth it. I’d get excited when there was a new special to watch. I’d ask my parents to record shows for me when I was away. I’ve watched it so much, that it drives my mother mad. “Top Gear? Again?!?” but there have been a few times where we’ve watched it as a family.
It wouldn’t surprise you if I said that I was following the 3 men on Twitter. I’ve also been lucky to correspond with Captain Slow. Being such a big fan and all, it’s absolutely thrilling. My friends keep asking me to get tickets to the show. “Just ask your good friend James!” But unfortunately that won’t happen. As much as I wanted to go to a taping, some dreams can’t come true. Some things aren’t meant to be. And I’m okay with that. But I’m still planning a trip to London.
Being a part of the fandom has brought many benefits, I must say. I’ve met so many amazing people and have had the opportunity to connect on a personal level with all of them. One big family. A unit. They took me in without hesitation. They didn’t ask questions, never judged, and accepted me. Half of the people I talk to on social media are Top Gear fans. And during the last week or so, there’s been a tremendous outpouring of support. It’s a difficult time for all of us, and knowing that people are there for you, to support you and to say that everything will be okay, brings great relief. I can’t imagine how the lads are feeling. I’ve only seen tweets, but I’m sure it’s hit them hard, and affected them deeply. It’s definitely pulled the rug from under our feet, without much warning.
So what now? What does the future hold for us? How are we going to move on? Change is hard. Especially when you’re used to a routine. Fans and presenters alike. All we can do now is remember the good times and hope for the best. The memories will always remain with us. And I don’t really know if I’ll watch Top Gear again. Whether it be old episodes or new ones, If there ever is a Top Gear because it will never be the same without James, Jeremy and Richard. They are a team. They stick together. They ARE Top Gear. And they are, without a doubt, my favourite men….in the world! Top Gear isn’t just about expensive supercars and fancy stunts - it’s a show where 3 men show their passion for cars. You can see it when they test drive them. The main message here is to do what you love.
I’m hoping that this helps those who read it. I hope that it brings comfort knowing that I feel exactly the same way you do. Vulnerable. Sad. Nostalgic. And I’m here for you. As upset as I am, I can’t change what’s happened. I can’t keep pretending that this is a bad dream, or that Jeremy will be re-instated. Eventually I’ll have to accept it, and that’ll be hard. I’ll probably cry a little, but that’s what you have to do in order to move on. So I’ll leave you with this quote that I live by.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
So stay positive. Remember the good times, remember the funny times, and remember the friendships that we’ve made. I know it’s hard right now, but better things will come. When one door closes, another will open.
"Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss
Thanks for the memories. It’s been one hell of a ride!
- Cate Tydd (@CateTydd on Twitter)