TopHatKitty @tophatkitty - Tumblr Blog

Posts

uwiguwi

if you’re reading this

a lump sum of money is on the way to you

therealsb-valeria-deactivated20

Works every time 🤷🏼‍♀️

labias

Aries Venus “I don’t want to commit right now, but I also don’t want you to see anyone else and if you’re mad at me it’ll ruin my day and I’ll cancel plans w/ other ppl to spend time w/ you BUT definitely no romance yet!” why are y’all like this 😩

Big mood

ascendant/"rising sign": what people see when they meet you for the first time. your general appearance

sun sign: what people see when they get to know you better. often described as your basic personality/identity. when people ask you what your "sign" is- although no more important than your moon sign, this is the sign you tell them.

moon sign: this is what YOU feel. your true soul. what hurts you, what you need to feel stable, happy on a bare bones level, all lies here.

mercury: the mental process ie how you think/talk. also can point out what you are good at intellectually

venus: what you enjoy/do for fun. how you act in relationships.

mars: how you go after your aims. expressions of anger, sexual expression and style.

saturn: work. also, where you may feel inadequate lies here.

jupiter: where/how you find your luck in life

neptune: humanitarian side of you, the things you find that you daydream about. It can also be the fog that keeps you from seeing something or someone for what it really is.

uranus: how you seek to be individual and innovative. Normally the kind of things that you do that other people you know don't think of.

pluto: Control. where you seek it and how you go about getting it.

astrology-sighs

How the Mars Signs Deal With Confrontation

Mars in Aries: literally just bursts into flames

Mars in Taurus: p easygoing until you question/rush them, then they bulldoze (haha) you

Mars in Gemini: *spent the last 15 minutes verbally shanking you* anD ANoTheR THiNG….

Mars in Cancer: “oh no it’s fine :) no problem :) I don’t care :) I just think it’s funny how”

Mars in Leo: if u humiliate them they will stop at nothing to destroy u and make sure you know they’re the ones doing it

Mars in Virgo: turns into the stressed out, nagging, overcritical mom you never wanted

Mars in Libra: doesn’t lmao

Mars in Scorpio: it doesn’t matter what you’re arguing about, compromise is not an option and they’re always right

Mars in Sagittarius: hops on a horse so high they had to check it into rehab

Mars in Capricorn: cool af as long as they feel they’re in control, otherwise they lose their s h i t

Mars in Aquarius: not normal. never normal. don’t try to make them act normal. “What’s normal? A setting on a washing machine”- hot topic, also Aquarius mars

Mars in Pisces: left before the argument began

astrolodge-deactivated20200524

When you explain what a moon sign is to someone and they say “wow you know so much about astrology!” and you’re like oh man I literally explained one thing. If only you knew.

rosesastrology

When the signs are the happiest

Check Sun, Moon & Venus

Aries is happiest when they are able to do exciting things, & probably fight a lil Bonus: they’re super cute when they’re happy ‘cause they get all flushed and when you say it they’ll be embarrassed & it’s adorable

Taurus is happiest when they’re trusted & can trust people, and when their financial (& material) status is good. Bonus: buy them something expensive and you’ll get showered in love, the down side is they’ll get pouty every time you leave to go to the store & you can’t say no to their cutie pie face.

Gemini feels happiest when they’re talking to someone they like or express themselves artistically or spiritually. Bonus: Geminis love when you remember lil things about them like what they like in their coffee or how late they go to sleep, they’re detailed and get shiny eyes when you remember/mention small things you like about them.

Cancer feels happiest when they’re nurturing/caring for others and being taken care of and when their home life is doing good. Bonus: meet their parents and notice how they’ll sit there studying your face for five minutes as you smile softly at their fathers comment. They’re memorisers.

Leo is happiest when they feel confident about themselves and make others feel good by being generous (both spiritually and in material). Bonus: when they give you something they’ll get fidgety because they genuinely hope you love it. So even if you don’t like it, act like you do because c'mon man they probably spend like 6 hours in the store looking for the perfect gift.

Virgo feels happiest when they’re overcoming their self criticism & able to analyse others. Bonus: they’ll want to see every inch of you, everything. No matter what, they’ll remember you and all your little details.

Libra feels happiest when loved and in love, also when they have good relationship. Bonus: the type to send sweet paragraphs for you to wake up to & send boxes of chocolate to your house when ur sick and even though they make you puke it’s worth it because they bought them.

Scorpio feels happiest when being able to be sarcastic/witty with someone while still being able to have deep ass talks with them. Bonus: will talk about how the stars fell down in your eyes and rest in the spectrum of the rim of your *insert your aesthetic eye colour* hued eyes. Will take you on long walks and give you roses for anniversaries, the perfect definition of completely tied down to one person.

Sagittarius is happiest when their freedom is respected and they’re able to talk deeply with someone. Bonus: they’re the type of people to wear bright red lipstick and indie band merch & go to ComicCon ‘cause they’re lowkey geeks. They’ll squeeze your hand when you hold theirs and dance with you in the rain, will later complain about pneumonia & make you take care of them.

Capricorn feels happiest when they’re respected, have a good career and good self discipline. Bonus: they’ll stroke ur skin like it’s gold & call you soft, they’ll kiss your eyelids and they’ll turn off your alarm for work because they saw how tired you were last night. They’ll leave sticky pads all over the house with cute lil compliments and make you breakfast granola when sick (even if they hate it).

Aquarius is happiest when they’re able to be different and independent and everyone is equally as respected. Bonus: talks about feminism with sparkling eyes and wants gender neutrality more than anything in the world, gives hugs from behind and kisses your neck ‘cause you’re their treasure.

Pisces is happiest when they’re being cuddled tbh, when they have someone to be with and are respected. When they have their dreaming space and aren’t judged. Bonus: they don’t see your flaws as flaws but rather as cracks of pure gold in a lovely vase, they’ll hug you really tight and tell you how lovely you are. Loves late night talks & music. Kind of an over thinker but wouldn’t want you to get hurt, ever.

astrologicalities

I love this almost too much.

nuev0

#beingacomputerprogrammingmajor : Testing out html scripts on Pokemon Go and finding out it actually works.

morphimus

Isn’t this a potential problem though? Can you run a malicious script in the namebox there? If so, they will most certainly have to fix that before they implement trading.

nickelbackmidisonline-deactivat

is it even possible to write a malicious script in html?

timujina

deforest

Joan Crawford in Possessed (1931)

radicalmuslimfeminist

82 years later and it’s still relevant

twoshotsofhappyoneshotofsad

This will never not be relevant.

shesfiction

82 years and we still have to fucking tell men this shit

haroldstitties81

nonblack girl who swears she is black and says she wants 2 date a “hood nigga” on twitter but locks her doors when she drives by a group of black men hanging out, she also likes to wear adidas: the playlist

Break From Toronto - PARTYNEXTDOOR

Hotline Bling - Drake

Fuckin’ Problems - A$AP Rocky

Panda - Desiigner

Hold On, We’re Going Home - Drake

Any and Every Drake Song Released During Or After 2015

Swimming Pools - Kendrick Lamar

maad city - kendrick lamar

***flawless - beyoncé

bound 2 - kanye west

The Entirety Of The Life Of Pablo, Because They Think It’s Good For Some Reason

formation - beyoncé

niggas in paris - kanye west and jay z

blessings - big sean, kanye west, drake

medicinehoe-blog

kroutonwilcox

ok this my list of hoe tips and life tips in general

- can’t get ur pussy smooth?? always prickly?? shave diagonally and horizontally instead of up and down, and always use a new blade

- can’t get ur pussy soft?? shave with hair conditioner and massage it in for like 30 seconds before. after u shave, massage with baby oil, and lotion after a shower

- EXFOLIATE. exfoliating is the key to life. mix used coffee grounds with a moisturizing oil (olive or coconut is best). rub that shit all over your legs before you shave until ur hands start to feel funny

- dry feet?? bih me too. rub a fuck ton of regular lotion (or foot cream if u fancy, even Vaseline works) all over your feet and put double socks (or fuzzy socks) on before bed. yass

- this one is the most basic but pls drink water. it’ll clear ur skin, flush out your kidneys to prevent bladder infections, and ur pussy gonna be wet asf

- salt, fat, caffeine, dairy, etc. r gonna make u taste all funky down there. fruits, veggies, and anything w high water content is gonna make u taste fresh/sweet

- smoking and drinking also gonna make u taste funky. and smoking is especially bad for u, so put out the cig babe

- using soap on ur pussy gonna fuck up ur pH bad. the vagina is a self cleaning device, and all u need is a really soft washcloth (or even a cotton shirt) and some water, let ur body do ur thing

- if ur used to wearing tampons and that’s what u find comfortable, use a menstrual cup! very sanitary and will save u a TON of money in the long run

- want a natural lip plumper?? mix a lil bit of cinnamon and honey, and gently rub it into your lips w a soft toothbrush n leave it on for a min. slather on some chapstick n ur plump n soft

- BUY A VIBRATOR. please do it. it will save ur fucking life

- cotton panties or no panties sis. ur kitty needs to breathe and cotton/no panties will prevent bacterial and fungal infection

- got hair on ur face? got rough skin? GURL SHAVE IT! wash your face as normal and pat dry, gently run a clean razor over any areas (cheeks, chin, neck). tone and moisturize like a motherfucker. smooth!

- pubic hair is healthy and good and keeps ur vag clean! don’t shave it unless YOU want to, don’t leave that decision up to ur nasty man

- allow urself junk in moderation. it’ll make making healthy choices easier if u allow urself a little treat every once in a while

- a simple equation for a good meal: vegetable + grain/carb, protein

- do ur fucking homework and do it on time

- rubbing a little bit of petroleum jelly on ur pressure points before spraying perfume will make it last longer

- hair holds onto scents v easily. wanna smell like a goddess????,,, spritz that hair

- kat von d everlasting liquid lipstick is blowjob proof. get messy n be on point!

- urban decay all nighter setting spray is gonna save ur life. it’ll keep ur shit in place when u getting dicked, if u cryin, chokin on dick, w/e u like to do

- if ur having trouble getting wet even after sufficient foreplay, a little bit of water based lube does WONDERS. also won’t deteriorate condoms (oil) or get gritty (silicone)

- need to stretch out ur shoes?? fill two ziploc bags with water and put them in ur shoes. put shoes in the freezer until water freezes solid, and dethaw with a hairdryer. especially effective on leather!

- having problems deepthroating? make sure ur throat is in line with ur mouth, if it’s not the dick won’t go down

- can’t deepthroat at all? cover ur teeth with ur top lip and press ur tongue to the roof of ur mouth while he thrusts. 10/10!

- communication w ur partner during sex will make it a trillion million times more satisfying

- frizzy hair? put conditioner on the tips of your hair (nape of the neck and down) and shampoo right on ur scalp. volumizes without frizzing!

- this one kinda weird but don’t hold ur pee unless u wanna mean bladder infection/UTI

- pee after u masturbate please. u never know what can shimmy up ur urethra, even when ur playin w the little man in the sailboat

- keep a pair of spare glasses with u for when ur contacts dry out. lifesaver

- always keep extra undies, an extra shirt, makeup remover, moisturizer, and comfy shoes in ur car/bag if u can fit all of it

- apply dry shampoo the night before ur gonna need it. it’ll soak up the oil before it sits on ur hair. reapply in the morning n style accordingly

- apple cider vinegar mixed with water works as a good toner if u ain’t got no moneyyyy

- castor oil on ur brows and lashes every night will make them thicker and longer. even just one day will help (bc they will be shiny and moisturized)

ill probs add onto this when i think of more!

fomysquad

Yeah! black excellence 2017

jedania243

Yaaaaaaaas!!!!!!

duvete-deactivated20210206

Happy Piccolo Day!!

HAPPY PICCOLO DAY

Back in middle school, my friends and I used a very simple coded language for writing secret messages. I saw some posts about needing to hide one’s beliefs from partners/bosses/parents so I wanted to share it with you! These would also be great to incorporate into sigils since they are simple lines and dots.

When you're in love with a....

Aries Venus ♈: You'll never have a second to breathe, but that will feel amazing; it'll be like you're always on your toes, always learning new things about this amazing, wonderful human being. Yes, they will test you, they'll push your buttons and let you push theirs, but you will never feel so excited as you are when you're around them.

Taurus Venus ♉: This love will truly behold the definition of bliss, pure bliss in fact. "Love goggles" have never been so true when you are in love with a Taurus Venus because you will forgive all of their flaws as they will be so truthful and apologetic. A love truly mesmerising.

Gemini Venus ♊:This person puts the fun in your life. When you are without them you can't do anything but feel bored. This can cause you to feel incomplete without them at times too. This love will be like lightening roaring through your veins.

Cancer Venus ♋ :This kind of love is a hurricane; Cancer Venus are unpredictable in love but you'll love it. Nothing will fail to surprise you and you will have never felt so loved. Be prepared to give everything you've got, because they'll be expecting it. This love is a triumphant one.

Leo Venus ♌:This kind of love will feel effortless at time, almost like you're floating along with the biggest smile across your face at all times. You will find yourself dumbfounded by their presence and absolutely defensfless by their words, this can lead to some embarrassing moments, but it's a love you couldn't recreate.

Virgo Venus ♍:This seems to be what real love feels like. This love quickly consumes all of your waking days and becomes the air in which you breathe. It gives you energy and a spark in your eyes, but be careful not to disappoint this lover as second chances are rare. This love will send you into second heaven but will still feel like you're standing firmly on the ground with both feet.

Libra Venus ♎:You will almost always feel an overwhelming happiness. Your heart will feel like it's beating out of your chest at times and you might want to throw yourself at them arms open, more than you want to admit. You might struggle to always agree with their abstract opinions but your burning love will sort itself out in the end.

Scorpio Venus ♏:This love feels full, there is nothing more indulgent and crave-worthy than this love; you won't be able to get enough. When you look into their eyes you'll feel a connection, a fierce, true connection. You fault might be not trusting them even when they've only told the truth. This is a love that truly satisfies the heart but tests the mind.

Sagittarius Venus ♐: As cliché as it sounds for stereotypes this love is an adventure; you might feel like you never get a chance to sit down. Its not just physical adventure that you'll experience but an adventure to learn more about you.The grass seems greener, the water colder and the air fresher with them, it's a love you'll never want to leave.

Capricorn Venus ♑: A fairytale, not an old one with a princess or prince charming but a new one, where you don't exactly understand where the point was that you fell in love but now you're so deep you can't swim to the surface. A love that event the very last moment you'll come running back for. Be weary of how many times you might have to be forgiving, but this is a love you've dreamed of before.

Aquarius Venus ♒:This is a sweet love. Like have a best friend who you can hug and kiss and do whatever you wish with. An exciting experience as you slowly but surely become each others entire universe. This is a love where you will always feel complete even when they aren't with you physically because you know that you have more than just love; the bond of a friend or family.

Pisces Venus ♓: This is a certain love; you will never have to doubt their feeling for you and you know they'll never fail to pull of the most romantic, heart melting gestures without even realising. Understand they will put you edited them,and this is a hurdle you must face together. This is a love that you never want to leave as you never felt so loved in your entire life.