Office culture is so fucked it melts my brain. Here is a painful conversation I had this morning:
I'm in charge of answering the office phone and I get hundreds of formal and pedantic marketers trying to sell our business all kind of things. It's normal, but I can't stand faking polite to conversations I am so painfully disinterested in. A few minutes ago I got a phone call and the conversation opens to a man being so personably impersonal that instead of letting me know what he is calling about he only asks me how I am doing. No clarification of who he is speaking to, no introduction of who he is or what he needs, just... "Good morning ma'am how are you today?"
I, good employee that I am (barely), tell him I'm doing fine and ask him how I can help him. It's direct, and moves the conversation to what is strictly necessary.
"I'm doing alright, how can I help you?"
This motherfucker answers:
"I'm doing well, thanks for asking! Can you connect me to <employee name>?"
Brother... WHAT DID I ASK YOU?
It was such a confidently personable thing to say that I didn't even notice he said that at first. My dialogue tree stalled for a moment, trying to process what he had said. Thankfully, he had added who he wanted to speak to so I could transfer him before I completely fell apart.
Jesus Christ. "Personableness" in the office is so fake and useless it actually causes me to break down and not be able to focus on what someone actually needs. I need to get out of here.