Payto

27 she/her | Artist | TMNT & Waterparks???

[paytato435]

I COULD WATCH THIS ALL DAY WHAT THE HELL AOAJAKAMSBEIDBDBFNFOSJ

[kathaynesart]

Why do Leo and Jacksepticeye both pose the same way when searching for hidden passages?

[therealjacksepticeye]

He’s my favourite turtle that’s why!

[paytato435]

wrote my own music to send to awsten in his PO box and I'm gonna mail it today I'm so fucking scared. it's very scary pouring my heart into something knowing full well he may not even listen to it. Which is totally fine btw! I'd be annoyed if a bunch of amateur musicians sent me music and i felt like i had to sit and listen through all of it to be nice. But I think what I made was pretty cool, and he inspired me to make it, so i feel like if he thinks it's cool, than he deserves to know what he inspired, right?

[paytato435]

Updating this to add that I met him in person and gave him the finished album too. Geoff said they'd listen to it on the bus OH MY GOD. 😭 I can't add a video to this but I also have Awsten on video giving me a shout out at their show later that night before Any Minute Now. I CANT I CANT I CANT 😭😭😭😭😭

[paytato435]

WATERPARKS - LITTLE VIOLENCE: LIVE DEBUT VIDEO

I went to the NYC secret show last night and was able to record Waterparks' live debut of Little Violence. The video is on my YouTube here. Also my sister and I got a picture with Otto! Yippeee!!

[tornadoseasonkc]

when i called you last summer

i wondered what it's like for you

were you sick of happy endings?

did my joy tear you in two?

[kewpie-notice-me]

mikey expressions practice 🐢( ive finally finished all four of the boys (／_;)/ )

[afeelgoodblog]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!

[shrewreadings]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!

[squidificati0n]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!

[communistkirby]

Happy Leland Melvin Day!!!

[paytato435]

if you are an artist and you live near a joann fabrics, this is your sign to go in and by all the copic markers before the close forever! I went in expecting to get the $8 markers at 20% off but...

I'm losing my goddamn mind.

[paytato435]

im gonna be honest i have no idea how to even pay my student loans at this point

[ruija]

You know that lackluster Don & Leo reunion handshake? I fixed it.

[happyfoxx-art]

This should have a billion notes. This is incredible.

[paytato435]

i guess it doesn't matter because they can't read?

[vampirejuice-deactivated2019112]

If your apology involves degrading yourself, calling yourself shit or insulting yourself, its not an apology, try again.

[grookeyleaf]

Can someone translate this?

[vampirejuice-deactivated2019112]

Don’t try to guilt people by saying “I’m sorry I fucking suck.” “I’m sorry I’m just the worst and I should die” Because thats not an apology, thats trying to guilt the other person into dropping the subject.

[orangebitters]

Yup.  That’s called Weaponized Remorse.  Basically, you’re avoiding accountability by blowing up a big Feelings Bomb at the person you hurt and going “let’s not focus on what I did or what I should do to make amends, let’s focus on how awful I feel about it all, and how you should make me feel better.”

[oakandgumtrees]

It’s really easy to accidentally learn to apologize like this, especially when you have mental health issues that mean you genuinely feel that way about yourself. You aren’t a bad person if this has become a habit, but you can help other people AND yourself by apologizing differently!

Try to focus on your actions rather than your traits:

E.g. “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m shit at friendships” –> “I’m sorry I keep ghosting you, I’m really struggling to keep up with my friends right now”

Then, if you can, turn the conversation back to the other person - you’re apologising because their feelings matter to you, so show that.

E.g. “I don’t mean to - our friendship means a lit to me, and I know it must make it seem like I don’t care.”

This gives the other person an opportunity to express their own experience so you can talk it over more if they want to, without skipping ahead to reassuring you that the relationship isn’t broken.

If you read the descriptions above and started feeling guilty, it’s fixable! And if you want, you can even apply your new apology skills to apologising for an old apology style

[applefae]

This is something abusers can instill in their victims, also. Sometimes an abuser wont let up until they know you feel awful, shitty, stupid, worthless. and it becomes a habit to tell someone “im sorry im such a fucking loser i dont deserve etc, etc” so they know that you have paid the emotional toll for what you said or did.

Here’s the kicker, though- normal people dont want you to beat yourself up like that when you apologize. I know it feels like the line between “im sorry, I screwed up and I feel terrible about how I hurt you” and “i’m such a worthless piece of shit, you dont deserve to be around me” seems nearly invisible, but if someone requires you to verbally self-flagellate in order for a fight to be over, you really need to step back and take a look at the relationship between you two.

[handsaniti]

^^^^ great addition. Sometimes weaponized remorse is manipulative, sometimes it’s a survival strategy. Never good or healthy, but worth acknowledging.

[tornadoseasonkc]

HEY DID YOU KNOW WE'VE WRITTEN A BUNCH OF SONGS FOR YOU?

I've spent the last year learning so much about music, and this last week finished work on the final demo on our bands first project: Share the Road. Tbh I still have a lot to learn, but hopefully we can get these babies recorded and out to you real soon! In the meantime, check out this clip of our first song: Sturgis.

-Payto

[paytato435]

BAND UPDATE!! 🥰

[hibruh1001]

4h study

[haunting-txt]

"i don't know what to do" get up and go???? who they want you to be???? who they wanted to see???? kill the party with me??? and never go home????

[scoutsunset]

awsten has an announcement to make

[waterparksdrama]

My favorite waterparks moment was during an acoustic set at Warped Tour where you had to enter a competition to get in (everyone who entered won btw). I got to sit right in front of them and I was a little nervous about just staring at them while they got adjusted because, you wouldn't do that to other people and was like they deserve some privacy. Since I didn't want to stare I just looked down and waited for them to be ready but, then awsten said "Hey, I like your glasses" I looked up and was seeing if anyone else had glasses but they didn't. He was looking directly at me and he said it again. While a little taken back I just replied "Thanks they're from Costco." Which, awsten laughed at that response and I felt a lot more comfortable.

At the end of the set a girl asked for his guitar pic which he gave. So, I asked for one too but he didn't have one on him. Security started to shoo everyone out so I got ready to accept not getting one and leave. Awsten grabbed my arm though and told me to just wait there and ignore security because he can deal with them later if they get mad about me staying. Awsten proceeded to not go in his own bag, but he went in Geoff's to grab a pic told him he was taking one which Geoff just said ok then hurried back over to me all happy and just handed it to me.

I've had interactions with them other times too and I think it's the fact that every time Awsten goes out of his way for fans that just makes me feel like I don't think I will ever be able to leave the fandom

yeah that's a sweet one - iz

[paytato435]

this is so cute what the hell 😭😭😭