What makes me qualified to tell others how to read, write, and live?
My mother asked me a question the other day, and I gave her back her advice to "pick your battles." Was that not wise?
My last post to this blog was almost four years ago, and it was not even an original post. It was a re-post (re-blog? re-Tumblr?) from a person about feelings surrounding the 2016 presidential election results. Before that, I rarely wrote actual posts for this blog. My last real blog post was probably during the summer after high school. This blog is only in my thoughts because I was searching for old photos from high school a few weeks ago. I ran a search through Google, and the results showed this blog - "To Sanely Succeed." The font and layout were horrible. I quickly changed it so that it was a little easier on the eyes.
I labeled myself as a "success" back in high school. On paper, I was on top of the world. I was winning science and business competitions left and right, I got accepted to my dream school, and I would be an Admissions Blogger for MIT. All my hopes and dreams were coming true. But did that make me a success? And did I do it all while maintaining my sanity?
Short answer: Success is self-defined, and I did not consider myself a success at that time. I did not always wholly maintain my sanity.
My problem for as long as I can remember has been overloading my schedule. Recently at work, I started tracking my time by the minute - broken down by task location, time spent taking breaks (zero on many days), the category of the tasks, and additional details breaking down that time even further. The result: I spend much time planning my schedule. I also spend so much time editing and perfecting documents and data. That time could be more efficiently spent implementing those plans and getting additional data. If only I could learn to relax a little.
In high school, I was too overloaded. I remember the day I found out about my MIT acceptance was after I got home from Intel (now Regeneron) Science Talent Search (STS). I was so exhausted from the week and the travel. I did not sleep the night before and almost forgot that it was Pi Day, or March 14th, the day MIT announced regular admission decisions. When I saw my acceptance to MIT, I did not even go downstairs to tell my family - I walked to the balcony and shouted to my mom, "I got into MIT," and then went to sleep for over twelve hours.
All of high school was just one week after another of overloaded schedules and lack of sleep. I tried to limit my activities with the end goal of getting accepted to any college - not just MIT. I never considered myself remotely good enough for a school like MIT until I arrived in Washington DC for Intel and saw that the other students believed it a reality. A primary reason I applied was that when I visited MIT with my ambitious friend, it felt like home, and the tour guide had amazing green hair.
My attempts at limiting activities just led me to be increasingly involved in my main activities, which were my research class/projects and business club (DECA). I was mostly internally driven, but there were external factors. During my senior year, I decided not to join Varsity Tennis for the third year to focus on academic clubs and classes. I also tried to take a regular English class instead of Advanced Placement (AP) Literature, and College Chemistry instead of AP Chemistry or the fancy crazy-hard second-level AP Physics class. My research teacher - who is fantastic, but very driven to see her students excel - changed my class schedule to include AP Literature. She told me that it was considered in my Intel STS application and very important to take advanced courses. AP Literature ended up being one of my favorite classes that year, thankfully, but it also was a ton of work.
My mental health suffered. I never took the time to pause and think about where I was or what I was doing, especially when my hard work paid off, and I started getting scholarships and recognition. It helped to write my thoughts down - I think that's why this blog exists. It's a sounding board for my overloaded and overbearing life.
When I first arrived at MIT, I participated in the Freshmen Pre-Orientation Program (FPOP) called Freshman Urban Planning (FUP). It was community service-focused and an excellent opportunity to get used to the Boston area and MIT's campus before actual orientation and classes started.
A couple of days into FUP, my grandfather passed away. He was in a hospital for a long time beforehand, and we knew it was not good. I visited a few weeks earlier, and he was on a ventilator, but I sat alone with him for five minutes and told him about MIT.
He cried. He always wanted my mother to go to a school like MIT, and I know he was so proud that I was going there.
His death was my breaking point. My mother and grandmother told me not to go to the funeral because it was during my MIT orientation, and my grandfather would not want me to miss it. I knew they were right, but I still feel bad about it.
I fell apart and started acting out during one of the FUP activities the day after my grandfather passed. I told one of the counselors what happened, and she told me I could take time off from the program.
I mention mental health in my posts here and on the MIT blogs and around the internet. Still, it is a sore subject for association with a professional career. Most people hide behind anonymity. They try to keep things lighthearted, as I always have.
Unpolished drafts and posts filled these pages in the past. I shared my favorite music and would post things about being a firefighter like it was the coolest thing in the world. I talked about Imposter Syndrome but not about the environmental factors amplifying it, and I often did not talk about it at all.
I'm Rachel - I am sane enough. I have a cat. I'm not going to over polish this draft. This is a rough, unplanned post, and that is okay.
Spontaneity can be a good thing. Perhaps embracing it a little more will help me succeed further in work and life. Maybe it will help me sanely succeed.
These are currently wrapped around the pillars of MIT’s main hall, lobby 7. Anyone can come and express theirs thoughts and feelings surrounding this election. My favorite quote I read tonight was from a fear pillar:
“That my liberal-led generation won’t get its shit together enough to fix these things”
“MAYBE THIS IS OUR WAKEUP CALL”
We can get through this. Every minority united together can make us the majority. And a majority based on love is far stronger than any group living off of hate
There are people who let the worst moments in life draw them down, Rachel Davis is not one of those people. As a high school student, Davis enrolled in the Garcia Program at Stony Brook University in New York, where she helped engineer a new flame-retardant, biodegradable plastic. (Photo courtesy of Rachel Davis)
Delicious greens, sautéed red pepper marinated sausage, and bow tie pasta salad with butternut squash. That's what was on the menu Wednesday afternoon at the Somerville, Mass start-up Formlabs.
Signs/Symptoms
Allergies
Medications
Past pertinent medical history
Last oral intake
Events leading up to the incident
Onset — What were you doing when this started?
Provocation — what makes it better? What makes it worse?
Associated chest pain (if chest pain came first go to OPQRST)
S
Dec 17, 2014 — Flash back to four years ago from this upcoming March 14th. I'm sitting on a train that took me from Washington D.C. where I had just met the president of the United States and pulled an all nighter chilling with my new best friends and a bunch of current and future nobel laureates. I get home exhausted, and...
Dec 18, 2014 — wotes.mit.edu @WOTES2015 facebook.com/womenoftheeastside So many social medias So much time In summary, an awesome model-pretty-maker/organizer, Annie L. '15, a photographer, Raeez L. '14, and I set out to accomplish the impossible, with the help of numerous people including Erin K. '16 (our web designer), Amanda W. '15 (graphics/layout), and Piper L. (graphics/layout). I decided it would...
Dec 21, 2014 — A cat ran on my keyboard So here is a link to MIT's list of summer programs at MIT and elsewhere, check it out! It really summarizes things well. Acronyms I forgot: UROP - Undergraduate Research Opportunity Program at MIT MRSEC - Materials Research Science and Engineering Center ISWEEEP - International Sustainable World Energy Engineering Environment Project Olympiad Additional...
My best friend and I screaming blank space by Taylor Swift at the TOP of our lungs to the best of our singing ability (which is awful) and knowledge of lyrics (also awful) while dancing like silly apes
The only person I would ever sing my heart out to in a karaoke bar while also dancing <3
Nov 19, 2014 — Lydia K. '14 challenged us bloggers to write about our days, inspired by Ana V. '15's post titled "1 day". I'll write about my Wednesday, and what has happened or is on the schedule to happen today. My day started at 6am. My cat decided that sleeping next to me was boring and she wanted to play, so she...
Nov 3, 2014 — A typical day in East Campus. Okay, it was not quite typical. It was a little abnormal. It was Halloween. I was surprised to see the lack of costumes worn during the day around MIT's campus. I personally was wearing a firefighter costume I bought off Amazon for a separate occasion, but I covered it with my favorite flannel...
Does college have to be so stressful? The Daily Beast analyzed retention rates and student opinions to find out which schools are turning out the happiest students.
Wowww I'd like to see a story in the Tech "MIT Student React to Finding Out That MIT was Ranked #3 in the Top 25 Happiest Colleges"
For the past decade, the MIT Admissions Blogs have been a leader in student blogging. The blogs are written by MIT students and are completely uncensored. MI...
Later on, I found a giant crack in my rain boots. I then texted my mom "THERE'S A HOLE IN MY RAINBOOTS EVERYTHING IS RUINED FOREVER!" but rainboots got autocorrected to rainbows so she got the following message:
"THERE'S A HOLE IN MY RAINBOW EVERYTHING IS RUINED FOREVER!!"
After about twenty minutes of her and my sister frantically calling me and asking if I'm being metaphorically and if I was okay, I finally responded and said that I meant rainboots, not rainbow. Everything made more sense.
Moral of the story, I did a good things for someone, and I was rewarded with a giant crack in my rainboot (now duck-taped shut, for now) and a panicked family. I'm still going to be nice to people. But karma much?
Today, I started my morning with a nice walk in my bright yellow rain boots to Central Square at 9:15am. I got to Central Square a little early for my appointment, so I went to Starbucks to grab something to drink. I ordered my strawberry banana smoothie with soy milk and no protein powder, and I took a seat while I waited for it to be made. A scruffy-looking older man commented on my boots, asking if I wore them for the rain or for the snow. I told him that I thought it was going to rain a lot, so I wore them for the rain, but if I wear thick socks I can wear them in the snow and they work really well. He asked me where I got them, and I told him that I got them two years ago at the Garment District, which is a thrift store in Cambridge, for $10. He told me that he really liked them, and asked me the address of the Garment District. I looked it up on my phone and told him where it was and when they opened, and he said he was going to check it out. He thanked me for being so nice to him, and said god bless me. He told me that not only were my shoes really nice, but also that I was beautiful and a good person. I thanked him, and he god blessed me one last time before getting up and ready to go. I said goodbye, I got my smoothie, walked to my appointment, and then went back to campus.
I forgot about that encounter until just now, as I was panicking about the terrifying amount of work I have to do for tomorrow. And reminders from this stranger that I am in fact a good person who can make a difference in someone's life, even if it's just telling them about a cheap, convenient place to find shoes that mostly fit, really make times and days like this bearable. Because it was a crappy day, but there were the good things that make everything worth it. I make a difference with each and every action that I take, which is absolutely terrifying, but it also makes me feel special. And reminders that you are, in fact, special and important to the world are important every once in a while.
So go do something nice for someone else, just for the hell of it. Help someone carry their bags, hold the door open for someone who is far away, sit with someone who is crying, or bring a sad person a cat to cuddle. It's the small things that add up and make someone's day, and even telling an atheist "god bless you" can make a really sad person a lot more happy about the crappy things in their life.
Thank you stranger, I hope you got a nice warm jacket and some bright yellow rain boots for the rain and snow.
