It’s been a long time coming.
TL;DR: this is a call-out post. If you’re here for being aware of it, good. If you’re here in dissent of it, good. If you’re here for this tea,
Keep reading
I guess it’s time to man up and talk about this. Since the bells are ringing, I’ve still got enough spite in me to ring mine for the last time. I used to RP a lot on Balmung, it’s my favorite thing and my escape.I also RPed with EC-RP on a few alts and my main and that included rping with Azrat.
I’ll get straight to the point because this post is a long time coming. Without getting into all of the IC details, my character was involved in a plot wherein one of his friends, a member of EC-RP, had committed IC suicide. It was sad, and of course a bit scary in-character (that’s realistic, right?), and it was also around the time EC-RP was starting or apart of random fights around Thanalan and Pearl Lane.
And I don’t have issues with any of that, let me be clear, but my character, a bit of a street coward named Caen, was realistically scared, thinking EC was the cause of the death of his friend. The canon is neither here nor there, but basically what started everything was when Caen was privately disclosing his fear to a friend, Zana, near the Weaver’s guild, that he was scared and didn’t wish to be around EC for fear he may be harmed or corrupted. What he said was:
Caen Jabari: "...I'd rather steer clear of 'em, no offense meant."
So who else by Azrat was there, eavesdropping. I didn’t see him before and I didn’t mind at the time. This is the kind of ABC Family drama we rpers are addicted to, right? Unfortunately, I had no idea what this dramabomb would turn out to be.
Azrat, being a member of EC-RP, began to defend his FC in character, saying they were saints and not connected to Caen’s friend dying, and that any rumor that they were involved was fabricated. Yes, this is just the deceptive Game of Thrones script as we’ve seen in the media. And there wasn’t an issue... until there was.
And Azrat asks me in our Linkpearl how Caen knows that Caen’s friend’s death was connected to EC-RP. The truth was, he was told by another character that the FC was canonically involved. Until this point, I thought I was apart of a large plot surrounding EC. SO then I get this.
[2]<Azrat Lariss> but yeah, it bothers me when people dislike the collective for no reason past "VILLIANS" [2]<Azrat Lariss> which it feels like Caen does.
I’m incredibly confused here. I remember having to look back at the screen and wonder about that statement because, Azrat, honey, the Eldritch Collective IS villainous. I don’t know how you missed the memo, but I’ve roleplayed with them on multiple occasions and on quite a number of alts, and THEY VILLAINS. Some of them are really good villains. This isn’t me shitting on EC, I was drawn to their dark rp because it was interesting and allowed me to explore darker sides of storytelling that Slice of Life rp in the Quicksand couldn’t offer. As it happens, my character Caen is a bit of a coward when it comes to the themes on darkness and dark magics, or suicides and street brawls. I’m not blind to the misdirected hate on EC, however. We love to hate our villains, but I understand alot of RPers steer clear from EC for their own reasons. I think perhaps Azrat is confused, so I explain:
[2]<Caen Jabari> Caen is scared of anyone that wield aether like they do. He's icly, a coward. And understand how he sees the fights (they either start or don't start) and what he believes. Even if it -is- a lie, it LOOKS bad in his eyes.
I thought that was enough of an explanation. Nope.
[2]<Caen Jabari> I'm not here oocly bashing the collective. I happen to like alot of you guys. But Caen is scared of them. [2]<Azrat Lariss> it's bashing to go around telling people he dislikes them [2]<Caen Jabari> It's all in character [2]<Azrat Lariss> like I', not enjoying this dialogue rn bc Zana's not going to believe Az a second [2]<Azrat Lariss> for no reason [2]<Azrat Lariss> all bc Caen told him so [2]<Azrat Lariss> so, w/e [2]<Caen Jabari> It's IC? Idk why you're confused.
And since I am being all brave and sharing this, let me speak to EC directly here, because, without a doubt, THIS is why players think poorly of your FC. Azrat and players like him, speaking like this on behalf of your FC make you all look bad. It’s wrong, but easy to think that IF THIS is the type of person who represents you, then the apple can’t fall far from the tree. And I would’ve been done with the whole thing, but one of your brilliant officers stepped up to offer Azrat a bit more clarity:
[2]<Reina Thorne> Az that really does sound like it's IC stuff, tbh [2]<Reina Thorne> EC has an IC reputation. It exists. [2]<Caen Jabari> ^
TO which Azrat deftly replies,
[2]<Azrat Lariss> yeah and people meta the fuck out it [2]<Caen Jabari> And Caen's not running around town to town blabbing about it. He's confiding in a friend [2]<Leviat Dragonfire> At times yes. [2]<Leviat Dragonfire> But other times it happens to be actually heard from word of mouth, more often than not. [2]<Caen Jabari> If the Collective is going to rp as villains.. i don;t understand why you're getting upset that one character is scared of them. [2]<Reina Thorne> "People" do, but you seem to be getting on the case of a friend about it. Caen's been within earshot of EC people saying awful stuff at the very least. xD I've seen it
Reina pretty much saved EC’s impression on me, so now I’m thinking Azrat just wants to start shit. For no reason. I’m rping in character, I’m not meta-gaming with information that hasn’t been passed along OOCly. I know the rper dance and I respect all my fellow rpers. Usually I back down and quietly excuse myself...
[2]<Caen Jabari> Azrat, I'm going to ask you to calm down and remind you that this is IC. I'm getting the feeling that you're getting upset that I'm here deliberately badmouthing friends of yours. I'm not. Plot happened. I am reacting to the plot. [2]<Caen Jabari> Caen saw bad things. He reacts to bad things. [2]<Caen Jabari> I'm not out to hurt anyone. [2]<Azrat Lariss> No it's Zana [2]<Caen Jabari> Zana and Caen are friends. [2]<Azrat Lariss> And so are him and I [2]<Caen Jabari> And? [2]<Caen Jabari> He's a good rper.
So now Azrat has switched targets and he’s disrespecting Zana, thinking that his friend could never tell the difference between OOC and IC. At least, that’s what I assume and what I can only assume, because after I state my case, Azrat backs down from his IC confrontation with Caen and:
Azrat Lariss: I'm out, I'm not in the mood anymore. ))
No, of course he retreats. Unable to admit he’s wrong he decides to take the baby’s way out and leaves. I stand by my reaction. I was firm, fair, I did not stand to his misguided attempt to disregard my feelings on the matter or bring real his impression of me bad-mouthing his FC. But Azrat isn’t done. He decides to hide behind an alt and restate his case.
[2]<Caen Jabari> Look people. I hope you all get it, because I like to rp with you all. [2]<Caen Jabari> I'm not, nor do I want to hurt you all. But I can't stand when other people think I am. This is a story. [2]<Tochtu Buduga> > Az tries to correct someone's narrow view of the Collective [2]<Tochtu Buduga> > Immediately shot down bc lmao why even there's NO REASON [2]<Caen Jabari> But here's the thing about correcting my view. he should SPEAK TO CAEN. Not -me-. [2]<Tochtu Buduga> Az tried [2]<Tochtu Buduga> but neither of them listened [2]<Caen Jabari> I know everything. Quite alot more than he thinks I do. Caen knows VERY LITTLE. [2]<Tochtu Buduga> but what the fuck can Az do if neither are going to listen [2]<Reina Thorne> Then he can't do anything, Az, and you have to roll with it because that's RP. [2]<Tochtu Buduga> yeah, I did, I left. [2]<Reina Thorne> You cannot try to control what other characters think or how their players play them. [2]<Caen Jabari> you DCed [2]<Caen Jabari> you leap out of the scene because you got upset [2]<Caen Jabari> that's way different, buddy [2]<Tochtu Buduga> yeah, I know what happened [2]<Tochtu Buduga> I'm on Tochtu for a reason [2]<Reina Thorne> Then give yourself time to cool off. :) There's no reason to continue the commentary currently. [2]<Tochtu Buduga> Just retcon Az out of that scene [2]<Caen Jabari> dude... [2]<Tochtu Buduga> Listen, I'll quit if we just retcon that scene away [2]<Caen Jabari> I really try my best with you guys. And I know for a fact that the others in the EC aren't like this. But I'm not going to stand here and let you assault me over an in-character opinion for something that my character knows [2]<Caen Jabari> retcon whatever you like, Azrat
Tochtu Buduga >> I'm not assaulting you...? I'm frustrated over a number of things surrounding it but not you. I just want to retcon that entire dialogue w/ Az
I’ll be honest. I was angry. I hate people who do this and I know I shouldn’t I do not flippantly retcon scenes in rp. I mean ever /say I’ve ever written even if I regret it later. I’ve always wanted to be an actor or a writer and I adore the story and writing it with others. Final Fantasy XIV is important to me because I feel I can do these this with ease. I forget, however, that there are people like Azrat who ruin it for people.
It’s good there are people like Reina however, who tried to make this better:
Reina Thorne >> ((Hey I'm actually in EC myself. Would you like me to contact a leader about this? Azrat really is out of line and I hate to be represented like this.)) >> Reina Thorne: I'm shaking right now. Like.. I've been involved with rp in the EC. And it gets really out of hand sometimes. And, honestly, I've gotten frustrated and shelved a character for a bit because of it. But I respect Kataani. And I respect you. I continue to rp with you guys because it's really interesting. It's HARD to be a villain... but if Az is going to toss rocks at me because my character has a REALISTIC thought... I just dont know. If you like, yes... because I hate this))
[2]<Tochtu Buduga> ...I'm not "like that." [2]<Reina Thorne> Az you need to back off please. This is becoming a problem and this is not your or our LS. [2]<Caen Jabari> I'm going to quit the LS for now. I really can't be in it atm. [2]<Caen Jabari> I'm sorry. [2]<Caen Jabari> everyone take care. You leave “RP Friends!.” Tochtu Buduga >> Hey, man, I'm sorry, just trying to explain my side.
No, Azrat. You need to understand that you were not just trying to explain your side. That’s completely evident when you hopped out of IC or why you bothered to attack me in the LS anyway. Not only did you hurt me, but suddenly, it seemed like no one wanted to rp with me anymore. Even my friend Zana said you had started flinging shit at him, begging for a retcon from both of us, as if a retcon would erase what you did. And soon, we stopped rping too. I didn’t have anyone left, so I left the game. No one would tell me what was going on, and no one would tell me the truth and just pretend everything was okay.
I lost a lot of friends and what I can only assume was because of you, Azrat. You are the reason I hate this game and one of the reasons why it’s so hard to go into the Quicksand and start up rp with a stranger like I used to now that’s I’ve returned to the game.
To those involved, maybe I should of expressed this to you then. Maybe I was afraid of losing any more friends because no one likes a drama crybaby. And @liasahrgo it’s a shame this happened to you too. I know I rambled a bit, but I wanted to at least let you know that you’re not alone and at the same time get this all off my chest.
I’m glad that I can strike you one more time, Azrat. I wish you would’ve listened to me, or apologized before it all got out of hand. I never should’ve let you retcon that scene. I should’ve rubbed your shitty-carpet-dog face in it. You really are an Asshat, Azrat.
