100% accurate cats

Crystal / Main is @1-800-crystalball / Multiship / Inbox open / Submissions open / Do what you want, have a good time / Posts vary day to day / I encourage roleplaying / PMs are open / Ask me whatever you want / THESE ARE NOT ORIGINAL , I AM NOT TRYING TO TAKE CREDIT FOR THESE QUOTES

[totallyaccuratecats]

Cettie: Dad?

Asparagus: Hey Cetts?

Tumble: Dad, as you know, we’ve been swimming. And we’ve developed a taste for it. We both agree that getting our own pool is the way to go. Now before you respond, you must understand that your refusal would result in months and months of…

Tumble, Bucky, Pounce and Cettie: [rapidly, in unison] Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad? Can we have a pool, Dad?

Pounce: Can we— [Bucky stops him]

Asparagus: I understand. Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

[totallyaccuratecats]

Jenny: what are you kids doing out in this rain?

Jemima: Sometimes I just like to sit outside and enjoy the sounds and smells of a rainy day.

Pounce: Cettie bet me her dessert that I couldn’t be struck by lightning and she’s WRONG!

[totallyaccuratecats]

Munk: We gotta think, what’s trending with the kids right now?

Misto: Pain.

[totallyaccuratecats]

Pounce: I’ll make it up to you, Lecky, I promise. Listen, if there’s ever a night where you can’t sleep, I’ll come to your room and sing “Kumbaya.”

Electra: Pounce, I don’t know what to say. Yes, I do.

Electra: Don’t ever do that.

[totallyaccuratecats]

*When Munk loses Demeter in the crowd*

Munkustrap: Has anyone seen my wife?!

Someone: What does she look like?

Munkustrap, on the verge of tears: Beautiful!

[totallyaccuratecats]

Jelly: My love, what are you so stressed about?

Asparagus Jr: Our universe could exist in a false vacuum. If this is true, an event that releases enough energy could hypothetically create a bubble of “true vacuum” which would expand in all directions at the speed of light. If this bubble were to exist, we would have no way of knowing due to it moving at the speed of light. It would also obliterate anything it touches, as the bubble contains incredibly high amounts of energy and could rewrite the basic structure of matter itself. At any moment, you and everything else on this Earth, in this solar system, could be destroyed. There is no way to predict this. There is no way to stop this. It’s not even an inevitable fate you must accept, for it may not even be true.

Jellylorum: …*pats him on the back awkwardly*

[totallyaccuratecats]

Skimbleshanks: When we were younger, we tried to form a gang once.

Mistoffelees: How’d it go?

Asparagus Jr: It turned into a book club.

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4 year old Pounce: My middle name is danger.

Jellylorum, booping him on the nose: That’s a lie, your middle name is cutie pie.

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Bucky: Once someone asked what I thought had turned me bi.

Tugger: I hope you told them you were bitten by a bi spider.

[totallyaccuratecats]

Demeter: I need a full body massage, a margarita, 400mg of ibuprofen, a plate of brownies, at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

[totallyaccuratecats]

Tumble: Noi siamo capaci!

Pounce: We are capable!

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Tumble: Bro

Pounce: what, bro?

Tumble: tell the whole world we’re bros

Pounce: (whispers) we’re bros

Tumble: why’d you whisper it, bro?

Pounce: because you’re my whole world, bro

Tumble, tearing up: bro

[totallyaccuratecats]

Pouncival: Munk, how many kits do you have?

Munkustrap: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

[totallyaccuratecats]

Jellylorum: I have never done anything wrong in my life, ever

Asparagus Jr: That's entirely false and I love you so much

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Skimble: I say "no worries" a lot for someone who worries 101% of the time

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Jenny: Gotta love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can stab people’s eyes out. I can make mittens.

Jelly: What was that middle part?

Jenny: I can make a hat.

[totallyaccuratecats]

Vic: My mum is half a century old

Cettie: My mum is old