live by the shrimp. die by the shrimp.

Ares | she/they | 24 

[imjunebitch]

"can mutuals dm" "can mutuals ask for your discord" girl, mutuals have an implied invitation to my wedding

[tourdion]

say what you will about the reserve bank of india these are some cracking coins

[theradicalkanji]

[cuntubus]

[horreurscopes]

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

[spookykobold]

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

[etherealspacejelly]

bastard sounds great in an irish accent. if an irish person calls you a 'daft bastard' it just feels right

the welsh have the monopoly on things ending in hell. fuckin hell and bloody hell hit different in a welsh accent. its like music to my ears

the scots have piss and shite for sure. "its pishin it doon out there" "this is a load of shite" absolute poetry

if i may speak for the english i think we do penis related words very well. dickhead, knobhead, twat, etc.

and for all the shit we give them, you gotta admit that no one can deliver a 'goddamn' quite like an american. theres a certain weight to it that you just cant achieve in other accents. when an american says goddamn you know shit just got real

[heres-to-all-that-is-mine]

Matching shirts idea

[twistedpictures]

dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[ceruleanheaven]

there are simply no words in the english language that can describe starting on thursday the fourth. thats how iconic it is

[ceruleanheaven]

choosing to start on friday the fifth. i just think its very inspiring

[ceruleanheaven]

lets all kill ourselves

[threedollarsdotcom]

letd go eat parts of that guys car

[lizardsister]

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

[bumblebeesnees]

Panties hit the FLOOR

[lizardsister]

you know it sister

[tidesandtwilight]

what is with the cop hate??

Oh sorry for the confusion. It’s because I hate cops

[duckdotcom]

why don't you agitate the contents of a barrel full of cream for a while then reach your hand inside and maybe you'll feel butter

[duckdotcom]

[captain-price-returns]

[suyasuyayamao67]

Lucifer　BIGBIGLOVE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY‼️✨

[yesornopolls]

Any plans for the weekend?

Yes

No

Remaining time: 2 days 10 hours

[crittaslink]

"who said that" is a powerful spell that casts a defensive bubble around your most vulnerable thoughts

[maculategiraffe]

it is very instructive to play both silent hill and resident evil videogames because they are very similar except for how silent hill is good and resident evil is stupid. it helps you figure out what is stupid in a video game and what is good

for example, in silent hill games, you are confronted with many weird baroque puzzles you have to solve to proceed, because that is the dark and creepy and confrontational nature of the world you are in. in resident evil games, you are confronted with weird baroque puzzles you have to solve because apparently, separate from and unrelated to the ongoing zombie apocalypse, the raccoon city designers designed the subway station map so that if you insert a red jewel into the correct diamond shaped recess, a drawer opens that contains a live hand grenade

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard